r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Mikl posted:

From the original post:

I take this to mean that her coworkers have actually passed the required physical fitness tests to be a lifeguard, but she doesn't think the tests are good enough so she took upon herself to push her coworkers up to her standards. Which, since she's been super physically fit since forever, are stupidly high.

No, gently caress off. If you think physical requirements are too low, campaign so they get changed, don't do this passive-aggressive bullshit.

Except look at that comment that got posted upthread, they saw someone straight up die because people couldn�t do the job. It�s not like they can get fitness standards changed overnight, so smoking people until they either get fit or quit isn�t the worst idea in the world, because, again, someone got dead because of it.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:07

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 21:12

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Blitter posted:

You've gotta be loving joking. It's a loving job requirement to be physically capable of performing life saving rescues?

Like, where I live there are specific tests as part of your certification that you must meet to become certified and not being fast enough or strong enough will get you failed. Because otherwise you let people die.

Also, I can only imagine being a physically inadequate lifeguard that keeps letting people die being a pretty awful job.

"I'm sorry your kid just drowned, but it was Big Larry's turn on the tower, today. I'm sure you appreciate our sense of fairness and inclusiveness."

# ? May 21, 2020 14:12

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Except look at that comment that got posted upthread, they saw someone straight up die because people couldn�t do the job. It�s not like they can get fitness standards changed overnight, so smoking people until they either get fit or quit isn�t the worst idea in the world, because, again, someone got dead because of it.

I stand corrected. But again, taking upon yourself to try to whip someone in shape is not the way to go about it. She can go to her boss and say "hey my coworkers are not up to snuff, you should see about doing something about it."

Even if the employer is super callous, I don't think they will need much convincing beyond "you can get sued because of this".

# ? May 21, 2020 14:15

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Mikl posted:

I stand corrected. But again, taking upon yourself to try to whip someone in shape is not the way to go about it. She can go to her boss and say "hey my coworkers are not up to snuff, you should see about doing something about it."

Even if the employer is super callous, I don't think they will need much convincing beyond "you can get sued because of this".

Management won't do poo poo.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:17

Guilty: May 3, 2003; Ask me about how people having a bad reaction to MSG makes them racist, because I've never heard of gluten sensitivity

Mikl posted:

I stand corrected. But again, taking upon yourself to try to whip someone in shape is not the way to go about it. She can go to her boss and say "hey my coworkers are not up to snuff, you should see about doing something about it."

Even if the employer is super callous, I don't think they will need much convincing beyond "you can get sued because of this".

That's also literally her job. She said in the first sentence that she was chosen to lead group trainings while the pool is closed.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:18

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

OP and some people think that the role of lifeguards is necessarily to save lives, rather than act as water park cops. yeah it would be great if every lifeguard were 6'2" and 180 lbs of lean teenage muscle but there aren't a whole lot of captain americas out there willing to accept minwage to be the wave pool alpha strike team so you end up with lower standards to accept the kinds of people who apply for the job

OP may end up being the unofficial team coach for a minute but is going to learn a life lesson called "try not to piss off every one of your coworkers if you want to have a good time at your job"

# ? May 21, 2020 14:24

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

What the gently caress is this "in a life saving profession you're an rear end in a top hat for aspiring above the bare minimum competency" hot take?

# ? May 21, 2020 14:24

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Soylent Pudding posted:

What the gently caress is this "in a life saving profession you're an rear end in a top hat for aspiring above the bare minimum competency" hot take?

if you think that being a lifeguard is more than just a pool monitor but someone who is bound by sacred oath to drag your drowned rear end out of the water, then please don't look up what legal duty cops or firefighters have to save your life

# ? May 21, 2020 14:26

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

luxury handset posted:

if you think that being a lifeguard is more than just a pool monitor but someone who is bound by sacred oath to drag your drowned rear end out of the water, then please don't look up what legal duty cops or firefighters have to save your life

# ? May 21, 2020 14:27

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

luxury handset posted:

OP and some people think that the role of lifeguards is necessarily to save lives, rather than act as water park cops. yeah it would be great if every lifeguard were 6'2" and 180 lbs of lean teenage muscle but there aren't a whole lot of captain americas out there willing to accept minwage to be the wave pool alpha strike team so you end up with lower standards to accept the kinds of people who apply for the job

OP may end up being the unofficial team coach for a minute but is going to learn a life lesson called "try not to piss off every one of your coworkers if you want to have a good time at your job"

99 percent of the time yeah, they�re just blowing the whistle when something dumb happens but if you can�t do the 1 percent of your job where people can die or be crippled for life, you can�t do your goddamn job.

90 percent of the time when I�m on shift with the ambulance, I�m playing video games or dicking around, and 9 percent of the time I�m on a call where no one is at any real major risk, but if I couldn�t do the 1 percent where someone is, then I�d be pretty loving useless.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:28

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Ugly In The Morning posted:

99 percent of the time yeah, they�re just blowing the whistle when something dumb happens but if you can�t do the 1 percent of your job where people can die or be crippled for life, you can�t do your goddamn job.

90 percent of the time when I�m on shift with the ambulance, I�m playing video games or dicking around, and 9 percent of the time I�m on a call where no one is at any real major risk, but if I couldn�t do the 1 percent where someone is, then I�d be pretty loving useless.

yeah, a lot of people are useless at their jobs, and this is shocking news to some

# ? May 21, 2020 14:32

Guilty: May 3, 2003; Ask me about how people having a bad reaction to MSG makes them racist, because I've never heard of gluten sensitivity

luxury handset posted:

yeah, a lot of people are useless at their jobs, and this is shocking news to some

we should all just give up and be lazy about it I suppose is your answer

# ? May 21, 2020 14:34

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

luxury handset posted:

if you think that being a lifeguard is more than just a pool monitor but someone who is bound by sacred oath to drag your drowned rear end out of the water, then please don't look up what legal duty cops or firefighters have to save your life

Ya know, you hadn't even posted when I made my comment but I guess you're right. No person should ever aspire beyond the bare minimum life requires and no instructor should ever push their students past that point. Glad you think it's okay for cops to be lazy because they don't have a duty to protect people.

Reiterating that it's not an rear end in a top hat move for the person in charge of training to set ambitious standards. The rear end in a top hat move is holding different people to different standards. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised that some goons find physical fitness to be the unreasonable part.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:34

Guilty: May 3, 2003; Ask me about how people having a bad reaction to MSG makes them racist, because I've never heard of gluten sensitivity

Really the most unreasonable thing about that post was 1. she's 17, I doubt she's received proper training to TRAIN and instruct others in proper physical fitness, but then again it's not outside the realm of possibility, some kids are like that, good on her if she is, and 2. maybe she was a dick about it when she asked her students to be better? It doesn't say, so I dunno

# ? May 21, 2020 14:37

Issaries: Sep 15, 2008; "Negotiations were going well. They were very impressed by my hat." -Issaries the Concilliator"

Ugly In The Morning posted:

99 percent of the time yeah, they�re just blowing the whistle when something dumb happens but if you can�t do the 1 percent of your job where people can die or be crippled for life, you can�t do your goddamn job.

90 percent of the time when I�m on shift with the ambulance, I�m playing video games or dicking around, and 9 percent of the time I�m on a call where no one is at any real major risk, but if I couldn�t do the 1 percent where someone is, then I�d be pretty loving useless.

It's like there's a difference of responsibility , training and pay between medical professionals and under-age minimum wage 'lifeguards'.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:39

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

luxury handset posted:

yeah, a lot of people are useless at their jobs, and this is shocking news to some

That doesn�t make it okay to be useless at your job when people might die or be injured because of it.

adhuin posted:

It's like there's a difference of responsibility , training and pay between medical professionals and under-age ~~minimum~~ wage 'lifeguards'.

Yeah, the lifeguards make way more. Seriously.

And I wouldn�t say there�s a difference in responsibility, considering that they do have to deal with near-drownings and various other injuries.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:40

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

My [47M] dance routine for my son's [27M] wedding is causing family drama

quote:

Kind of a crosspost from AITA, but I'm looking for advice on this issue now that I've received a judgement.

I'm forty-seven years old, and I am the father of three sons, aged 27, 25 and 24. I am very close with my two younger sons, but I just do not get on with my oldest son as much. I guess I love him as much as my other sons in theory, but we just don't click as well, and we don't have the same interests.

Myself and my wife both work as dance teachers, and my two younger sons are both professional dancers (they both work in serious stage productions). My oldest son is an accountant, and has always been very uncoordinated, so I never taught him to dance. Two years ago, myself, my wife and my two younger sons created a family dance routine, that included the four of us, which we frequently performed for the extended family. When my three sons came to visit us, we would perform the dance for my oldest son. We are currently trying to go viral on TikTok, but have not yet had any success.

My oldest son is supposed to be getting married this year, but has had to postpone it till next year due to the virus. I have decided to give him his present early, and his present is a new dance routine, just for him. I have made it incredibly simple due to his lack of rhythm but it looks quite good. His wife was even included it, but she refused to learn the dance, so I had to redo the choreography to make it a two-person dance instead of a three-person dance. It is a shame she couldn't be part of it, as it was (and still might be) the first dance at the wedding.

Here is my issue, this has caused some tension between the rest of my family and me. My younger sons are very jealous that I am spending time dancing with my oldest son, as they think this was something special they shared with me and their mother. My wife also agrees. I personally think it is unfair not to ever include my older son in my passion, and it's a wedding gift, so it's different anyway.

On AITA, they said I was the rear end in a top hat. I accept that judgement entirely, but I would like to salvage this situation. My older son is beginning to back out of the dance lessons, and I don't know what else to do. I want his wedding to be good, and I want to share my passion with him, but I don't want to hurt the rest of my family either.

TL;DR- I am teaching my son a dance routine for his wedding, but it is making his brothers and my wife jealous.

quote:

The dance was going to be to my son's favourite song, and involved him and his bride swaying in time to the music. I would come out and perform a few pirouettes and then push my son towards his wife, to represent the giving away of my child. The couple would then kind of sway in time to the music, and my son would spin his wife around and kiss her at the end.

Without his wife, it loses some of the magic, but still mostly works.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:41

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

How many goons got caught pissing in the pool for there to be this much lifeguard hate?

e: have some content.

AITA for telling my brother not to want the benefits of family if he won't make the same effort?

quote:

My brother, despite being in his early 30's is still a bit of an edgelord. He's believes in "tough love" and one of his favourite phrases is "you don't owe anyone anything" anytime a situation calls for empathy or a bit of help.

The thing is, we've had a pretty middle class life and graduated college with minimal debt. Our extended family were not so fortunate.

I help out a lot with baby sitting, free tutoring for English and occasionally pay a bill here and there, help out with moving etc.

My brother refuses to help. He thinks that if you can't afford a babysitter, you should haven't kids. If you can't afford a bill, you must be spending like an idiot. Basically he doesn't ask for help and he's doesn't give any help so far.

Which is fine, he's got a reputation as the person that doesn't help and nobody asks him anymore.

However, I feel like there are things you can't pay for. When I was sick with a cold, my aunt who's kids I tutor made me all my favourite foods and wiped down my house. She fussed over me, told me how hard I was working and tucked me into bed.

When I had a flat tire, I posted in the family chat that I didn't have a spare, I had an uncle turn up and my uncle bought me a slice of cake too that my aunt made because I was having a hard day. I could have called Roadside Assistance but they wouldn't bring me cake. It's the little extra things.

When I was in hospital for 4 days, I was brought food since "hospital food was not good enough" and if I was bored or scared or tired, I had someone all the time to just sit with me.

I'm not saying it goes well all the time but the positives outweigh the negatives. Sometimes the exchange isn't always equal but the love is always there and people still give you their best.

But now my brother is complaining about how people don't care about him as much as me.

He thinks he's a nice guy but he's never actually done anything nice. He has a degree, he has a job, he has an apartment and he doesn't cause any trouble- I'll give him that.

But he doesn't go out of his way to help people either so he really only does the bare minimum for an adult.

Recently, my brother has been working long hours and couldn't go to the shops. He wanted my cousin to do his shopping for him. She told him to use Marley Spoon.

He's now upset because when I was working long hours, my cousin makes me food. She loves cooking for people in general but when she had unexpected hardship he refused to help. My family chipped in $5-10 each or rallied in other ways.

I understand he's not obligated to help to but why ask her to do groceries for him?

I told him not to ask for things he's not willing to reciprocate and that it's his fault no one wants to help him. He would have said the same thing in a reverse situation but now he's wondering why my family won't help a nice guy like him who has done nothing wrong. He hasn't done anything wrong but he hasn't done anything "right" either.

He called me a suck up and then hung up on me. WITA?

Soylent Pudding fucked around with this message at 14:45 on May 21, 2020

# ? May 21, 2020 14:41

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Propaniac posted:

My [47M] dance routine for my son's [27M] wedding is causing family drama

Hmm maybe he should think about what his son wants instead of turning his wedding into a nother loving production and attempt for him to go viral.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:45

Cpt_Obvious: Jun 18, 2007

Propaniac posted:

My [47M] dance routine for my son's [27M] wedding is causing family drama

Hmm....How can I make my son's wedding about me? I know! I'll "give" him a dance! WHICH INCLUDES ME!

# ? May 21, 2020 14:46

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Guilty posted:

Really the most unreasonable thing about that post was 1. she's 17, I doubt she's received proper training to TRAIN and instruct others in proper physical fitness, but then again it's not outside the realm of possibility, some kids are like that, good on her if she is, and 2. maybe she was a dick about it when she asked her students to be better? It doesn't say, so I dunno

there's a difference in expectation here which is going to get OP in trouble with her boss

she's a very self driven and physical person, which is great, and she's trying to hold her co-workers to her standards of what she thinks lifeguards should be capable of

whoever is in charge of hiring at the county parks department is trying to ensure an adequate level of staffing to meet insurance liability while also staying within a fixed payroll budget. this necessarily means compromising on the physical standards required for the job so that you can hire from the pool of applicants you have waiting at the door

in a vacuum it's fine to expect lifeguards to all be motivated, fit, and skilled swimmers, but OP is perhaps expecting a bit too much from the flab county parks and rec. squad, and is also setting themselves up to get a talking to from personnel about how developing a training program is not carte blanche to rewrite hiring standards

adhuin posted:

It's like there's a difference of responsibility , training and pay between medical professionals and under-age minimum wage 'lifeguards'.

a lot of EMTs don't get paid for poo poo and the industry relies on people dedicating themselves to noble ideas of saving lives etc. while willing to be exploited for crap hours and crap pay

there's a lot of burnout, unsurprisingly

# ? May 21, 2020 14:48

Issaries: Sep 15, 2008; "Negotiations were going well. They were very impressed by my hat." -Issaries the Concilliator"

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Yeah, the lifeguards make way more. Seriously.

And I wouldn�t say there�s a difference in responsibility, considering that they do have to deal with near-drownings and various other injuries.

Sorry, I misunderstood what training EMTs get in America.

In Finland it's a 4 year training, comparable to nurse training, except it is way more harder to get in the EMT-training.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:49

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

adhuin posted:

Sorry, I misunderstood what training EMTs get in America.

In Finland it's a 4 year training, comparable to nurse training, except it is way more competitive to get in the EMT-training.

EMT-B is a 180 hour class here, it�s pretty sad. Even getting your paramedic is a one-two year associates program. Some people are pushing to make it a 4 year program but a lot of commercial agencies and fire departments are raising a stink because if it�s a more competitive and comprehensive program people will actually want a living wage. There�s a reason I stopped doing it as a career and just do it volunteer these days. Well, reasons. When you volunteer it�s easy to avoid the shifts where you have to work with chucklefucks and lunatics.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:53

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

Close all public pools permanently. Let everyone drown in the oceans and lakes like nature intended.

# ? May 21, 2020 14:54

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

duck trucker posted:

Close all public pools permanently. Let everyone drown in the oceans and lakes like nature intended.

The South closed most of their public pools in the 60s when they were forced to integrate. Growing up in Georgia the only pools were private neighborhood pools in predominantly white neighborhoods. A bunch of parents got the HOA to find private lessons in the neighborhood pool because they were worried about the "safety" and "sanitation" of the pool at the YMCA (because it was used by black people).

# ? May 21, 2020 15:03

Machai: Feb 21, 2013

MarcusSA posted:

Well at this point we are gonna need a list of poo poo people don’t wanna read.

No thanks, I have pinaciphobia.

# ? May 21, 2020 15:04

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

luxury handset posted:

yeah it would be great if every lifeguard were 6'2" and 180 lbs of lean teenage muscle

Lol pervert

# ? May 21, 2020 15:05

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Soylent Pudding posted:

How many goons got caught pissing in the pool for there to be this much lifeguard hate?

e: have some content.

AITA for telling my brother not to want the benefits of family if he won't make the same effort?

Imagine me posting that sowing/reaping twitter post meme

# ? May 21, 2020 15:06

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Future nonwiper spotted.

AITA for sending my parents photos of my brother�s pee?

quote:

The title sounds weird and fake, I�m aware. Bare with me.

I (16f) share a bathroom with my brother Mike (14m). He is the �typical� boy, but ten times worse. He rubs my expensive shaving cream all over the shower wall, leaves toothpaste and his facial hair all over the sink when he shaves or brushes his teeth, spits all over the mirror and leaves it, just gross stuff like that. The worst is that whenever he goes to the bathroom, he leaves his piss and poop in the toilet for everyone. He also pees all over the floor and the seat.

I tried to have a conversation with him about his �bathroom habits� politely. I said �Mike, can you please clean up after yourself? It�s our bathroom, not just yours.� Of course, like the person he is, he tells me I�m being overdramatic. I am honestly getting fed up with it; it�s disgusting, and only getting worse because of quarantine, and I�m sick of having to wipe up sticky floors because my 14 year old brother can�t wipe up his piss. I have tried multiple times to reason with him.

So, I brought the issue to my parents. They said �OP, you�re being dramatic. He�s 14, he obviously flushes the toilet, and everyone makes mistakes sometimes.� Well, his �mistakes� occur twice a day. To prove my point, every time I walk into the bathroom and he has peed on the floor or left his golden liquid and sausage links in the toilet, I snap a photo and fire it off to my mom and dad.

This has been consistently going for three days in order for my parents to cave and discipline him. However, they keep telling me I�m overdramatic, and my mom cussed me out, claiming �it�s just a bathroom and everyone messes up sometimes.�

AITA?

# ? May 21, 2020 15:06

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Implying he wipes now. OP should leave some bloody tampons in strategically placed locations. He's losing that war.

# ? May 21, 2020 15:13

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Soylent Pudding posted:

Future nonwiper spotted.

AITA for sending my parents photos of my brother’s pee?

Every time he leaves a floater, give him a swirly

# ? May 21, 2020 15:14

Sinbad's Sex Tape: Mar 21, 2004; Stuck in a giant clam

That 17 year old saw a guy die at their job and now they're in a position to train people? Ya I bet you'd have some real baggage from that.

# ? May 21, 2020 15:18

kru: Oct 5, 2003

if the guy didnt want to die he shouldnt have banged his head when the fat guy was on duty

# ? May 21, 2020 15:27

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Mikl posted:

From the original post:

No, gently caress off. If you think physical requirements are too low, campaign so they get changed, don't do this passive-aggressive bullshit.

I�d say what she�s doing with her limited control over the organization.

If being a turd in your line of work is going to get people killed get strong or get the gently caress out. It sucks that private EMS work and such pays garbage but you have a responsibility to your patients and public to be competent.

Propaniac posted:

My [47M] dance routine for my son's [27M] wedding is causing family drama

Hey son I know we�ve excluded you from this thing your whole life so how can we make your wedding about this thing

E:this has been my favorite Lifeguard/EMS derail since �EMTs and nurses job isn�t physical demanding I know since I work in IT.�

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 15:50 on May 21, 2020

# ? May 21, 2020 15:47

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for asking my coworker to wear a one-piece bathing suit to cover her Confederate flag tattoo?

quote:

Hey there. So, a few coworkers and I have planned a rafting trip in the coming weeks. I found out that one of my coworkers has a large Confederate flag tattoo on her lower back, and I thought that might cause some problems.

I myself am not a fan of that flag, but we also have some African American coworkers coming with us. Others have also expressed their discomfort in private conversations.

I pulled her aside last week, and said "hey, I understand that you have this tattoo. There are a few people coming who would definitely not be okay with seeing that, so if you do want to come, I'd recommend wearing a one piece, or just covering it somehow." She responded that she just wouldnt come.

Am I the rear end in a top hat for this? I tried to be as civil as possible, but I just wanted to avoid any discomfort during the trip.

# ? May 21, 2020 15:48

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for asking my coworker to wear a one-piece bathing suit to cover her Confederate flag tattoo?

Sounds like a self correcting problem

# ? May 21, 2020 15:50

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

duck trucker posted:

Close all public pools permanently. Let everyone drown in the oceans and lakes like nature intended.

Yah.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2019/05/31/please-stop-peeing-in-the-swimming-pool-cdc-says/#12a6f7122ec4

# ? May 21, 2020 15:51

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

Hey son I know we�ve excluded you from this thing your whole life so how can we make your wedding about this thing

That was how I felt before reading the post but apparently the son is actually into it? The drama is the fiance (understandably) not being into it and the other sons mad at him for sharing their special thing with the first son.

# ? May 21, 2020 15:53

Gerblyn: Apr 4, 2007; "TO BATTLE!"; Fun Shoe

Person with a confederate flag tattoo not coming along seems like a win to me!

e: this thread moves too fast.

# ? May 21, 2020 15:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 21:12

MAKE NO BABBYS: Jan 28, 2010

Remind her that confederate flags are for loving losers and be glad she weeded herself out of the pool party.

# ? May 21, 2020 16:01

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