r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

spacetoaster posted:

That those spots exist is extremely cringy and I would be embarassed to park in one.

gently caress those loving spots. I mean, for pregnant women, fine, but gently caress the veterans ones.

My grandmother's loving handicapped. I'm her wheels. We went to a Home Depot for "poo poo broke in the house" reasons. The parking lot is covered with those loving things and one single tiny pair of normal handicapped spots. Those two spots were full and all the stupid loving veterans spots meant I'd have to park uncomfortably far back for my grandmother. God forbid actual handicapped people need to pick up a handrail or something, we'd rather jerk off over vets!

this is a bad snipe, whoops. But I'll stand by it, gently caress veteran's parking spots.

Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 06:13 on May 25, 2020

# ? May 25, 2020 06:10

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:17

Gnoman: Feb 12, 2014; Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme

Digital Osmosis posted:

You know, I was about to type something out like "wait, what? If she was insecure that maybe he wasn't into her how would shattering his ego do anything but push him away?" but then I remembered yeah, people do that poo poo all the time, that was probably the point of it. Well, damage done. They should break up and she should get therapy. Staying with her isn't just bad for him, it's bad for her, because she should learn ASAP that pushing people away to prove that you deserve to be alone shockingly ends up with you being alone.

You shatter the ego so that your partner will never dare to leave you because he knows they are not good enough for you, let alone anyone else. Toxic relationships 101.

# ? May 25, 2020 06:12

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

veteran only parking spots are real??? hahahahahaha

# ? May 25, 2020 06:25

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Digital Osmosis posted:

You know, I was about to type something out like "wait, what? If she was insecure that maybe he wasn't into her how would shattering his ego do anything but push him away?" but then I remembered yeah, people do that poo poo all the time, that was probably the point of it. Well, damage done. They should break up and she should get therapy. Staying with her isn't just bad for him, it's bad for her, because she should learn ASAP that pushing people away to prove that you deserve to be alone shockingly ends up with you being alone.

That's the kind of poo poo cosmo and romcom media has been peddling for 40+ years, the whole "test the relationship" thing as a way of seeing how committed someone really is and how if they are truly in love with you they'll do X.

In reality either the person leaves over it or when they stay in the back of their mind forever after is "is she testing me, how do I respond" along with ever growing feelings of resentment and insecurity.

# ? May 25, 2020 06:25

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for telling my best friend I love him on his wedding night?

quote:

Last December, my (28F) best friend (32M) married his girlfriend (30F) of 2 years. They had a beautiful white tie garden wedding at a nice estate.

I've known my best friend since childhood. We used to spend every second together. We went to the same elementary and high school and only lived a few doors down from each other. We kept talking when he went to university, but stopped talking for about 4 years when I went and and made different friends, but eventually we both found jobs in our hometown and reconnected.*

I've always thought my best friend was attractive, but I never made a move because I'm a more traditional person and he never asked. We both went to prom with different people, dated different people in college, etc. We never kissed or had any other physicality.

So fast forward to his wedding night - the whole thing felt wrong to me. I ended up liking his now-wife, but during the period in which they were dating and engaged I still hung out with my best friend all the time. We'd go stargazing, hiking, etc. but there was never any romantic subtext to it.

On the night of the wedding, I asked one of my other friends what I should do, and she recommended that I tell him my feelings before the wedding. She said I would regret it forever if I didn't. I realized this was true.

I didn't get a chance to talk to him before the ceremony, but afterwards I managed to pull him aside and tell him that I've loved him forever. He started to cry and told me to leave. I've only spoken to him once since last December, when he texted me to make sure I was fine considering the current plague.

AITA? If I am, please help me resolve this. I really miss my best friend.

edit: my fault - we didn't go to ms at the same time. he was a sr in high school when I was a freshman

# ? May 25, 2020 07:10

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my best friend I love him on his wedding night?

but I never made a move because I'm a more traditional person and he never asked.

Well whose dumbass fault is that then?

Huge rear end in a top hat and I watched this romcom and it�s just as dumb.

# ? May 25, 2020 07:13

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

Miss posted:

veteran only parking spots are real??? hahahahahaha

The closest thing I�ve seen here in Australia is some McDonalds have a police spot to encourage cops to hang out and stop lads fighting

# ? May 25, 2020 07:19

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

Several businesses near me will just have a police cruiser parked right near the front or sometimes even like up on the sidewalk in front of the store, I assume to discourage people from doing crime. I always wonder if there is actually a cop on the premises since I never actually see a cop.

# ? May 25, 2020 07:22

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

pentyne posted:

That's the kind of poo poo cosmo and romcom media has been peddling for 40+ years, the whole "test the relationship" thing as a way of seeing how committed someone really is and how if they are truly in love with you they'll do X.

In reality either the person leaves over it or when they stay in the back of their mind forever after is "is she testing me, how do I respond" along with ever growing feelings of resentment and insecurity.

I've ranted before about how romcoms are probably responsible for entire generations having all the worst possible ideas about relationships, and not just about trying to start one. Problem is TV writers find stable, healthy relationships to be boring, and/or have no idea how to write one. Cosmo is just a given and I presume trolling their audience after a certain point.

# ? May 25, 2020 07:23

Eediot Jedi: Dec 25, 2007; This is where I begin to speculate what being a
man of my word costs me

well why not posted:

The closest thing I’ve seen here in Australia is some McDonalds have a police spot to encourage cops to hang out and stop lads fighting

Didn't they stop businesses from offering perks to police/ambos etc to stop any appearance of bias? At least in Vic?

# ? May 25, 2020 07:39

Persiflagist: Mar 7, 2013

i have a girlfriend, op. i think she's cute and sweet

# ? May 25, 2020 07:41

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my best friend I love him on his wedding night?

"You'll regret it forever if you don't tell him!" I say, fluttering my bat wings and lashing my forked tongue in anticipation for the banquet of pain.

# ? May 25, 2020 07:42

Digital Osmosis: Nov 10, 2002; Smile, Citizen! Happiness is Mandatory.

Gnoman posted:

You shatter the ego so that your partner will never dare to leave you because he knows they are not good enough for you, let alone anyone else. Toxic relationships 101.

had not considered this hosed up and likely possibility

pentyne posted:

That's the kind of poo poo cosmo and romcom media has been peddling for 40+ years, the whole "test the relationship" thing as a way of seeing how committed someone really is and how if they are truly in love with you they'll do X.

Even if that's was where it came from, I feel like "If I know I can make him jump through hoops for me I know he's really into me" doesn't make much sense to me on like, an emotional-logic level, I don't feel that's would really reassure an insecure option. Plus she went loving nuclear on something he had confided was an area he was concerned about. I think the more likely option is the reassurance she was seeking was breaking him and essentially being an emotional abuser (like Gnoman suggested) or the reassurance that she was right, that he WASN'T in love with her when he very rightfully dumps her rear end because of this.

That whole romcom / cosmo "I'll say no three times to make sure you want it" seems to me about satisfying the emotional need of like, social pressure and safety. At best it gives you something to brag to your friends about but more likely it strikes me as the girl-equivalent of PUA rules: an idiotic algorithm for people who truly believe they can't interact socially without a set of rules. Even if she thought she was pulling some cosmo poo poo she went about it in such a scorched earth way that I feel like there's some bigger, darker subconscious need she's trying to satisfy -- either way, get loving therapy lady and dude get out of there safely.

Digital Osmosis fucked around with this message at 07:51 on May 25, 2020

# ? May 25, 2020 07:49

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Digital Osmosis posted:

there's some bigger, darker subconscious need she's trying to satisfy.

# ? May 25, 2020 08:05

Cobalt-60: Oct 11, 2016; by Azathoth

How tf can you tell if a car is driven by a veteran? Military bumper stickers?

# ? May 25, 2020 08:08

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Cobalt-60 posted:

How tf can you tell if a car is driven by a veteran? Military bumper stickers?

It's a lifted truck on 26% annual interest.

# ? May 25, 2020 08:12

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Cobalt-60 posted:

How tf can you tell if a car is driven by a veteran? Military bumper stickers?

You can get a veterans or a disabled veteran license plate actually.

# ? May 25, 2020 08:38

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

JNMIL offered me 10k to leave her daughter.

quote:

When DW [32f] and I [36f] got engaged, JNMIL broke down sobbing, and said �When will you stop being a lesbian and marry [school friend who stalked her for years]?� Needless to say, she wasn�t invited to the wedding.

Because she wasn�t there, she refused to acknowledge that it happened. She�ll tell anyone who�ll listen that it doesn�t �count� and that I�m a predator who preyed on her young, confused daughter. (We met when we were 25 and 29 respectively, and DW exclusively had gfs before me.)

Fast forward to today. DW and I aren�t hugely ambitious; we have jobs that pay the mortgage and bills and enough for the occasional treat, and that�s all we need. JNMIL says that if not for me, DW would be a CEO or doctor or president by now, and that in my jealousy, I forced her to become my housewife. Even though she works.

In truth, we�d both rather have the time and energy to spend on our creative hobbies and each other. But okay.

I am currently working from home. On my lunch break, I went for my daily walk, when a car pulls up to me. It�s JNMIL, leaning out the window. She�s all smiles. She asks how I am, isn�t the weather great, it�s so amazing to see me up and about, I�m such an inspiration to her! (Note: I have one leg.)

I don�t have much of a chance to reply. She says it must be hard for me to be nearing 40 and still live with a �roommate.� I�m used to her BS, but I stopped dead, seeing red. She offered me a gift of 10k for �being such a good friend to her daughter� and to �help me move into my own place.�

Guys. It�s been seven years, and I thought she couldn�t do anything to surprise me, but she keeps out-doing herself.

# ? May 25, 2020 08:54

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

r/relationships: Note: I have one leg

# ? May 25, 2020 08:56

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Uh take the money and have an awesome vacation on dumbass mil's dime with your wife (in 1-3 years ofc) while being sure to send plenty of pictures.

# ? May 25, 2020 08:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

It was a Pirate's life for me, with an L.

# ? May 25, 2020 09:03

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

You've already got the peg leg, take that stupid bitch for all her booty, both the money and the wenches, yarr!

# ? May 25, 2020 09:10

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Evil Willow posted:

JNMIL offered me 10k to leave her daughter.

Play dumb. "Hey honey, your mom gave us 10K to help with the rent! That's going to be a nice buffer for our budget."

# ? May 25, 2020 09:15

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

That�s an interesting question. If someone offers you a massive amount of money to do something you don�t want to do, with no legally binding written agreement, is it illegal to take the money and run?

# ? May 25, 2020 09:17

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

chitoryu12 posted:

That�s an interesting question. If someone offers you a massive amount of money to do something you don�t want to do, with no legally binding written agreement, is it illegal to take the money and run?

Maybe?

If she has that much money she could probably legally make your life hell even if it�s not.

# ? May 25, 2020 09:19

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

chitoryu12 posted:

That�s an interesting question. If someone offers you a massive amount of money to do something you don�t want to do, with no legally binding written agreement, is it illegal to take the money and run?

A verbal contract is legally binding.

No comment on other legal issues, but not being on paper doesn't make it void.

# ? May 25, 2020 09:26

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

chitoryu12 posted:

That�s an interesting question. If someone offers you a massive amount of money to do something you don�t want to do, with no legally binding written agreement, is it illegal to take the money and run?

No. It's not. If she wanted to cause trouble, she would need proof. While a verbal contract is binding, you still need proof it exists, most commonly in the form of witnesses or recordings.

# ? May 25, 2020 09:31

blackmongoose: Mar 31, 2011; DARK INFERNO ROOK!

Also if you try to sue someone claiming that you had a verbal contract to pay them $10000 to leave their spouse the judge is going to hate you on general principles for wasting the court's time

# ? May 25, 2020 09:46

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Does anyone have a link to the previous thread(s)?

# ? May 25, 2020 09:47

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Evil Willow posted:

I (26M) bought my girlfriend (25F) a car. She said that was my 3rd and final strike

UPDATE: I (26M) bought my girlfriend (25F) a car. She said that was my third and final strike

quote:

Okay so, yeah. I asked her could we just sit down and talk. She said she doesn't want expensive gifts for multiple reasons, she felt like she'd be indebted to me, felt like a gold digger and felt like she could never do anything like that for me. She said It'd be okay if I occasionally brought her some chocolates or flowers. I apologized and told her that I enjoy making people happy, but I clearly wasn't accomplishing that by buying her stuff. I didn't consider the person receiving the gifts, I also expressed I didn't like a having strike system in place that I was unaware of, she said from now on she will just tell me when I do something she that she has a problem with and that it was unrealistic of her to expect only 3 issues through the course of an entire relationship.

Someone commented that if after buying her those gifts did I hope if a even a little she would be less likely to break up with me. The truth is yes. But that's in everything I do, if it's making her breakfast in bed, coming over and doing all her housework or just rubbing her back or scratching her hair, I want to be the best partner possible. I hope that everything single thing that I do makes her less likely to break up with me because I love her and I want to be with her forever.

I also asked about the fancier date comment, she said that was her expectation. That she wasn't disappointed but kind of saw it as an occasion where I could have splurged a tiny bit but didn't, but certainly didn't have to.

She said we can find a medium because she knows what she considers a lot and what I consider a lot is different. That 6K for me and for her were very different. That a car for me and for her were very different.

Speaking of, I now more than ever acknowledge the difference between my upbringing and those around me. Because of the pandemic and as my family's wealth gets bigger I realized how unaffected I was compared to everyone else, and still I want to do what I've always done, I say to my girlfriend that I'm interested buying something for myself, she says I can't spend six figures on something I wasn't thinking about an hour ago. And she's right, I don't need it, I want it.

Being with someone from a different background has opened my eyes, I would've bought and already had it. She said I could do some good with my money, my family is going to begin giving to people affected by the pandemic but it's really just to make us look good. My dad didn't just wake up and feel like helping people. She says do that if I want to spend.

We gave her car to someone who lost their job and it made her feel really good.

# ? May 25, 2020 09:54

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

The Lone Badger posted:

Does anyone have a link to the previous thread(s)?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&perpage=40

# ? May 25, 2020 11:02

kru: Oct 5, 2003

The Lone Badger posted:

A verbal contract is legally binding.

not worth the paper its printed on, imo

# ? May 25, 2020 11:29

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Ugly In The Morning posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&perpage=40

lmao i forgot about the lasagne

# ? May 25, 2020 11:30

tinytort: Jun 10, 2013; Super healthy, super cheap

Motherfucker posted:

"You'll regret it forever if you don't tell him!" I say, fluttering my bat wings and lashing my forked tongue in anticipation for the banquet of pain.

To be fair to the person who suggested it, they did say to tell him before the wedding. It's not their fault that OP somehow just never managed to get around to it until the reception.

Nor is it their fault that OP didn't realize that if it was after the vows, she should just take that secret to her loving grave.

# ? May 25, 2020 12:17

Barudak: May 7, 2007

There are a surprising number of chinese people, which I assume is due to chinese romcoms loving loving this plot, who view the whole "confess your feelings right before the wedding" as deeply romantic.

# ? May 25, 2020 12:31

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Gotta wonder how many conversations that guy has had in the past with his now wife along the lines of "Of course my best friend doesn't have a thing for me! You're imagining things, she'd have said years ago if she was interested in me in that way."

# ? May 25, 2020 12:31

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

tinytort posted:

To be fair to the person who suggested it, they did say to tell him before the wedding. It's not their fault that OP somehow just never managed to get around to it until the reception.

Nor is it their fault that OP didn't realize that if it was after the vows, she should just take that secret to her loving grave.

Awww.

# ? May 25, 2020 13:26

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

I (23F) accidentally said 'Play with my cock' while having phone sex with my boyfriend (28M)

quote:

Last night was pretty intense. My boyfriend and I have been experimenting with phone sex for a while now and it's also a means for us to feel intimacy during this lockdown. We haven't tried penetrative sex yet (we tried pretty much everything other than that) so I am still technically a virgin. My knowledge about sex has mostly revolved around my research and writing of gay sex as I used to write male-to-male fanfictions. It must be why it was so natural for me to associate my imaginations with gay sex and let it slipped the mentioned phrase while we're on the middle of some heavy groaning and grunts.

Obviously, I tried to stammer my way through it, like I didnt even know what I said but the damage was done. I felt my soul escaped my body the moment he paused on the other line and just said what the gently caress.

I don't know what to do anymore. It's so embarassing, I can barely look at him now.

Tl;dr accidentally slipped 'Play with my cock' while having phone sex and now too embarrassed

Update; Thank you guys for the encouragement. I was just perhaps a little bit more mortified than necessary. My boyfriend is cool btw, he found it utterly hilarious after calming down.

# ? May 25, 2020 15:16