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Slim Jim Pickens
Jan 16, 2012

Nenonen posted:

In Amerika, you dismiss history.

In Soviet Russia, history dismiss you.

There, my two kopeks worth on the subject. We can now change topic!

I have a question about submarines. Have they ever figured out better ways of evacuating from a sunken sub than swimming out of a torpedo tube or other hole? It seems like some kind of escape pod system would have helped with Kursk and many others. Eject the conning tower with rockets or something. It just feels like if we had jet fighter pilots these days still climb out of the cockpit with their parachute and bailing out the old fashioned way.

Putting any sort of break-away component in your pressure tube weakens it. You also couldn't possibly fit more than a few people in a conning tower, any sort of ejection system would definitely murder the rest of the crew. Also I have a hunch the conning tower isn't buoyant anyways.

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Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

The Soviets our escape trunks in a few of their designs. Most famously five officers rode Komsomolets down when she sank (after most of the crew got off) and escaped using hers. Four of them died but that was due to the capsule sinking when the hatch opened in rough seas not if failing at depth.

They’re very possible to put in without weakening the hull any more than you weaken it putting in other hatches.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug
Everyone's favourite corn man had quite a variety of transliterations as well:

quote:

Hrushev, Hrushew, Hrushyev, Hrushyew, Hrushjev, Hrushjew, Hruschev, Hruschew, Hruschyev, Hruschyew, Hruschjev, Hruschjew, Hrushchev, Hrushchew, Hrushchyev, Hrushchyew, Hrushchjev, Hrushchjew, Hruchhev, Hruchhew, Hruchhyev, Hruchhyew, Hruchhjev, Hruchhjew, Hruwev, Hruwew, Hruwyev, Hruwyew, Hruwjev, Hruwjew, Xrushev, Xrushew, Xrushyev, Xrushyew, Xrushjev, Xrushjew, Xruschev, Xruschew, Xruschyev, Xruschyew, Xruschjev, Xruschjew, Xrushchev, Xrushchew, Xrushchyev, Xrushchyew, Xrushchjev, Xrushchjew, Xruchhev, Xruchhew, Xruchhyev, Xruchhyew, Xruchhjev, Xruchhjew, Xruwev, Xruwew, Xruwyev, Xruwyew, Xruwjev, Xruwjew, Khrushev, Khrushew, Khrushyev, Khrushyew, Khrushjev, Khrushjew, Khruschev, Khruschew, Khruschyev, Khruschyew, Khruschjev, Khruschjew, Khrushchev, Khrushchew, Khrushchyev, Khrushchyew, Khrushchjev, Khrushchjew, Khruchhev, Khruchhew, Khruchhyev, Khruchhyew, Khruchhjev, Khruchhjew, Khruwev, Khruwew, Khruwyev, Khruwyew, Khruwjev, Khruwjew

I blame this on the Latin alphabet not being very good.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

Jeeze. Do you know why FAGr 5's supposed superiors weren't handing down orders?

From what I can tell, they had several things going on. First, the Normandy invasion. Second, I think the tangle of overlapping issues relating to FAGr 5 made it too complex for a service that was being overwhelmed even as they were supposed to do something about the Allies in France. In the summer of 1944, Third Reich large aircraft production was halted, and suddenly you had all the top Luftwaffe staff feaverishly writing and rewriting plans for future aircraft, some of which were going to do Maritime Recon. It didn't help, either, that FAGr 5 had most of these Ju 290s, which were a type of aircraft as rare as hen's teeth in the Third Reich, and crews that were trained up in long range maratime recon, and there was no doubt a furious debate as to what to do with all those men. What's more, at the start of the invasion, FAGr 5 was needed for weather recon and keeping an eye out for additional invasion fleets. So it was just a mess of inter-tangled issues, almost all of which involved the top brass or at least other people.

A few years ago I wrote a series of posts on the various Nazi attempts to make bombers to attack America. It turned into the story of why German large aircraft development was such a mess. Anyway, linked above is 1944, the year everything collapsed. Put it this way: FAGr 5 started the year being promised extensive development of the Ju 290 into a whole family of aircraft. Then Ju 290 production ended, and they were told new, better He 177s were in the pipe, with the Me 264 soon joining it. Part of FAGr 5's personel were reassigned to Kommando Nebel, which was a unit specifically for getting the Me 264 ready for production. By the time this assignment happened, the single flying prototype and the factory it came from had been flattened by Allied bombers. So Nebel started working on the Dornier 635, which was...OK, you know that twin Mustang? That, but the aircraft are two Dornier 335s.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Most alphabets aren’t when you’re writing down something in a language they weren’t designed for. Are there similar issues in the Cyrillic sphere? I’m thinking the differences between, say, Russian and Serbian. Wasn’t it adopted for the non-Slavic languages in soviet Central Asia? I can’t imagine it’s an easy fit to Kazakh.

The real issue is a lack of standardizing on one system. It’s like the old wade-Giles / pinyin fight with Chinese. Ultimate it didn’t matter if it’s Xruwjew or Khrushchev, as long as the sounds represented by “Хрущёв” are consistent across other words that they’re in.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Ensign Expendable posted:

I blame this on the Latin alphabet not being very good.

Is it true that pronunciation of Russian words is super easy, with the alphabet doing a really good job of capturing all the sounds? I seem to remember reading that ages ago, but it may have been in a Tom Clancy book or some poo poo.

Cessna
Feb 20, 2013

KHABAHBLOOOM

Epicurius posted:

"Dh" isn't a sound in English,

How soon we forget the horrors of the 90s:



PittTheElder posted:

Is it true that pronunciation of Russian words is super easy, with the alphabet doing a really good job of capturing all the sounds? I seem to remember reading that ages ago, but it may have been in a Tom Clancy book or some poo poo.

I'm FAR from fluent, but Russian is a lot more phonetic than English.

TooMuchAbstraction
Oct 14, 2012

I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.
Fun Shoe

Nebakenezzer posted:

From what I can tell, they had several things going on. First, the Normandy invasion. Second, I think the tangle of overlapping issues relating to FAGr 5 made it too complex for a service that was being overwhelmed even as they were supposed to do something about the Allies in France. In the summer of 1944, Third Reich large aircraft production was halted, and suddenly you had all the top Luftwaffe staff feaverishly writing and rewriting plans for future aircraft, some of which were going to do Maritime Recon. It didn't help, either, that FAGr 5 had most of these Ju 290s, which were a type of aircraft as rare as hen's teeth in the Third Reich, and crews that were trained up in long range maratime recon, and there was no doubt a furious debate as to what to do with all those men. What's more, at the start of the invasion, FAGr 5 was needed for weather recon and keeping an eye out for additional invasion fleets. So it was just a mess of inter-tangled issues, almost all of which involved the top brass or at least other people.

A few years ago I wrote a series of posts on the various Nazi attempts to make bombers to attack America. It turned into the story of why German large aircraft development was such a mess. Anyway, linked above is 1944, the year everything collapsed. Put it this way: FAGr 5 started the year being promised extensive development of the Ju 290 into a whole family of aircraft. Then Ju 290 production ended, and they were told new, better He 177s were in the pipe, with the Me 264 soon joining it. Part of FAGr 5's personel were reassigned to Kommando Nebel, which was a unit specifically for getting the Me 264 ready for production. By the time this assignment happened, the single flying prototype and the factory it came from had been flattened by Allied bombers. So Nebel started working on the Dornier 635, which was...OK, you know that twin Mustang? That, but the aircraft are two Dornier 335s.

I see, thank you! It's difficult to imagine just how chaotic things must have been at that time. I can imagine being a commander and thinking "man I have like two billion things going on right now, who the gently caress are these guys again? Well, whoever they are, easiest to just tell them to keep doing what they're doing, it's probably fine."

Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009

Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Epicurius posted:

"Dh" isn't a sound in English

Then how do you pronounce 'hardhat'??? :crossarms:

Cessna
Feb 20, 2013

KHABAHBLOOOM

Nenonen posted:

I have a question about submarines. Have they ever figured out better ways of evacuating from a sunken sub than swimming out of a torpedo tube or other hole? It seems like some kind of escape pod system would have helped with Kursk and many others. Eject the conning tower with rockets or something. It just feels like if we had jet fighter pilots these days still climb out of the cockpit with their parachute and bailing out the old fashioned way.

I think the closest you'll get is a DSRV:

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

PittTheElder posted:

Is it true that pronunciation of Russian words is super easy, with the alphabet doing a really good job of capturing all the sounds? I seem to remember reading that ages ago, but it may have been in a Tom Clancy book or some poo poo.

It's a lot more phonetic, especially after the language reforms introduced by the Communists. There complexity of the language lies mostly in the grammar, the spelling is the easy part.

Cyrano4747 posted:

Most alphabets aren’t when you’re writing down something in a language they weren’t designed for. Are there similar issues in the Cyrillic sphere? I’m thinking the differences between, say, Russian and Serbian. Wasn’t it adopted for the non-Slavic languages in soviet Central Asia? I can’t imagine it’s an easy fit to Kazakh.

The real issue is a lack of standardizing on one system. It’s like the old wade-Giles / pinyin fight with Chinese. Ultimate it didn’t matter if it’s Xruwjew or Khrushchev, as long as the sounds represented by “Хрущёв” are consistent across other words that they’re in.

Russian maps to English and German without terrible mistakes, while there's definitely a strong accent if you pronounce it in the Russian way at least there is very little ambiguity about transliteration. There is also no weird business with diacritical marks that is often ignored when going the other way.

sullat
Jan 9, 2012

Tias posted:


This is amazing! What were the name(s) of Barthas' memoirs again?


Poilu: The World War I Notebooks of Corporal Louis Barthas, Barrelmaker, 1914-1918

This is the English translation my local library had. It's a good read.

Randarkman
Jul 18, 2011

Ensign Expendable posted:

I blame this on the Latin alphabet not being very good.

I remember from back when I took Russian classes a bit of a joke about transliteration and the Russian cabbage soup called "щи", and that first letter in particular is one of the ones done the most dirty by bad transliteration, in German for instance it's "schtsch" so the name of the soup in German is "schtschi" ("shchi" in English), which leads to joke of sorts that the Germans managed to make 7 mistakes spelling a 2-letter word.

PittTheElder posted:

Is it true that pronunciation of Russian words is super easy, with the alphabet doing a really good job of capturing all the sounds? I seem to remember reading that ages ago, but it may have been in a Tom Clancy book or some poo poo.

English is essentially crazy-land when it comes to spelling and proounciation. In Russian though, in general, if you are familair with the pronounciation of the letters, how vocal stress operates and influences the pronounciation of vowels and how all the consonants come in soft-hard pairs and one can be pronounced as another (again often dependent on stress), then you can typically apply that to figuring out how most words are pronounced before needing to hear them.

Randarkman fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Jun 1, 2020

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

Randarkman posted:

I remember from back when I took Russian classes a bit of a joke about transliteration and the Russian cabbage soup called "щи", and that first letter in particular is one of the ones done the most dirty by bad transliteration, in German for instance it's "schtsch" so the name of the soup in German is "schtschi" ("shchi" in English), which leads to joke of sorts that the Germans managed to make 7 mistakes spelling a 2-letter word.


English is essentially crazy-land when it comes to spelling and proounciation. In Russian though, in general, if you are familair with the pronounciation of the letters, how vocal stress operates and influences the pronounciation of vowels and how all the consonants come in soft-hard pairs and one can be pronounced as another (again often dependent on stress), then you can typically apply that to figuring out how most words are pronounced before needing to hear them.

I heard this joke about Catherine the Great where she spelled ещё as истчо.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Ensign Expendable posted:

It's a lot more phonetic, especially after the language reforms introduced by the Communists. There complexity of the language lies mostly in the grammar, the spelling is the easy part.


Russian maps to English and German without terrible mistakes, while there's definitely a strong accent if you pronounce it in the Russian way at least there is very little ambiguity about transliteration. There is also no weird business with diacritical marks that is often ignored when going the other way.

It can lead to some fun stuff. I was working with some East German papers years back and ran across a name that was just baffling. Like it was spelled all funky to the point where it took me a while to figure out who it was talking about.

It was a German politician in the Soviet occupation zone. As best as I could figure his name came up in a soviet document that was in Russian and his name cyrillicized for it. That document was CC’d to a German office as a courtesy and translated to German. I only had the translated version sadly. The name was then put back in the German alphabet based on what the translator thought of the Cyrillic document.

It was close-ish but not perfect and puzzling at first. Think “Smith” turning into “Smeetch”

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Cyrano4747 posted:

It can lead to some fun stuff. I was working with some East German papers years back and ran across a name that was just baffling. Like it was spelled all funky to the point where it took me a while to figure out who it was talking about.

It was a German politician in the Soviet occupation zone. As best as I could figure his name came up in a soviet document that was in Russian and his name cyrillicized for it. That document was CC’d to a German office as a courtesy and translated to German. I only had the translated version sadly. The name was then put back in the German alphabet based on what the translator thought of the Cyrillic document.

It was close-ish but not perfect and puzzling at first. Think “Smith” turning into “Smeetch”

There's a report from Colonel Valery Havard on the Russo-Japanese War where he refers to a Russian Colonel Debronawoff. I'm guessing he had no knowledge whatsoever of Russian and just phonetically transcribed what he heard.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

FWIW English spelling is just super hosed up in general and most other languages make tons of sense in comparison. German is super easy and pretty much always maps 1:1 on spelling and pronunciation.

I kind of want to see an alt history of what you’d get if a Slavic language made an ugly baby with Latin or something, like you see with old French and old kinda-German early English producing this mess were typing in right now.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

chitoryu12 posted:

There's a report from Colonel Valery Havard on the Russo-Japanese War where he refers to a Russian Colonel Debronawoff. I'm guessing he had no knowledge whatsoever of Russian and just phonetically transcribed what he heard.

You also see some fun German spellings of Russian names. poo poo like Tschkow

Zhukov

Epicurius
Apr 10, 2010
College Slice

Nenonen posted:

Then how do you pronounce 'hardhat'??? :crossarms:

D and H are sounds in English. The "dh" isn't.

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

Nenonen posted:

Then how do you pronounce 'hardhat'??? :crossarms:

harthhardt

Bourricot
Aug 7, 2016



Ensign Expendable posted:

Everyone's favourite corn man had quite a variety of transliterations as well:

quote:

Hrushev, Hrushew, Hrushyev, Hrushyew, Hrushjev, Hrushjew, Hruschev, Hruschew, Hruschyev, Hruschyew, Hruschjev, Hruschjew, Hrushchev, Hrushchew, Hrushchyev, Hrushchyew, Hrushchjev, Hrushchjew, Hruchhev, Hruchhew, Hruchhyev, Hruchhyew, Hruchhjev, Hruchhjew, Hruwev, Hruwew, Hruwyev, Hruwyew, Hruwjev, Hruwjew, Xrushev, Xrushew, Xrushyev, Xrushyew, Xrushjev, Xrushjew, Xruschev, Xruschew, Xruschyev, Xruschyew, Xruschjev, Xruschjew, Xrushchev, Xrushchew, Xrushchyev, Xrushchyew, Xrushchjev, Xrushchjew, Xruchhev, Xruchhew, Xruchhyev, Xruchhyew, Xruchhjev, Xruchhjew, Xruwev, Xruwew, Xruwyev, Xruwyew, Xruwjev, Xruwjew, Khrushev, Khrushew, Khrushyev, Khrushyew, Khrushjev, Khrushjew, Khruschev, Khruschew, Khruschyev, Khruschyew, Khruschjev, Khruschjew, Khrushchev, Khrushchew, Khrushchyev, Khrushchyew, Khrushchjev, Khrushchjew, Khruchhev, Khruchhew, Khruchhyev, Khruchhyew, Khruchhjev, Khruchhjew, Khruwev, Khruwew, Khruwyev, Khruwyew, Khruwjev, Khruwjew

I blame this on the Latin alphabet not being very good.
That's only the English ones, right? French is Khrouchtchev, and German is Chruschtschow.

Gaddafi also had tons of different spellings:

Trin Tragula
Apr 22, 2005

Nenonen posted:

Then how do you pronounce 'hard-hat'??? :crossarms:

It'd be a lot easier if the linking hyphen came back in-to fashion :colbert:

Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009

Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

bewbies posted:

harthhardt

:hmmyes:

Btw. it must have been really easy to memorize the names of top Nazis if you were Russian. Just anyone whose name begins with g: Gitler, Gebbels, Gimmler, Gering, Gess...

Groda
Mar 17, 2005

Hair Elf

Ensign Expendable posted:

I blame this on the Latin alphabet not being very good.

Dutch and Swedish (and probably German, too) have remarkably consistent and well established transcription systems. English's problem is just a lack of coordination.

What really irks me is how little effort has been put into the transcription of Persian. It always looks so ugly, and is never done the same way twice.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

Cyrano4747 posted:

FWIW English spelling is just super hosed up in general and most other languages make tons of sense in comparison. German is super easy and pretty much always maps 1:1 on spelling and pronunciation.

I kind of want to see an alt history of what you’d get if a Slavic language made an ugly baby with Latin or something, like you see with old French and old kinda-German early English producing this mess were typing in right now.

English had to reconcile german and latin while nestled between Wales and France who both do their own weird thing with the latin alphabet that don't seem to have anything to do with anybody else's interpretation of how those letters work. They could've made some grand program to coordinate spelling, but confusing messes that don't follow any clear rules but just vague understandings is kinda what the entirety of English history is built on.

Then after colonization had begun, it was basically too late to totally reform spelling. Although from what I remember from back when I was reading some records written by pilgrims, they just seemed to kinda like throwing around double letters and silent es for no real reason or pattern, so I wouldn't put it past the people of the 17th century to just be making things difficult on purpose.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Cyrano4747 posted:

You also see some fun German spellings of Russian names. poo poo like Tschkow

Zhukov

Yea somebody did this a few pages back during the grand derail, just casually throwing out a reference to (I think) a General Schukow, and it took me a second to realize who the hell they were talking about.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

PittTheElder posted:

Yea somebody did this a few pages back during the grand derail, just casually throwing out a reference to (I think) a General Schukow, and it took me a second to realize who the hell they were talking about.



щука (schuka) = pike

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


All languages drift in their spoken forms, and without regular enforced spelling reforms the written version becomes less similar to the spoken. English doesn't really have spelling reform.

Also it's not nearly as crazy as people like to make it out as, having taught English a number of years to EFL students there are plenty of rules, there are just a lot of them and a lot of exceptions (which are themselves often regular). Otherwise it would be impossible to pronounce a word that you've only seen written, like Chinese where the writing carries no phonetic information at all.

That said of the languages I've studied, Russian and German are the most phonetically spelled. Korean is fairly close, but only if you speak Seoul dialect which I did not. Chinese, as I said, the question doesn't even apply.

ulmont
Sep 15, 2010

IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

Cyrano4747 posted:

FWIW English spelling is just super hosed up in general and most other languages make tons of sense in comparison.

The problem is that in the beginning every 100 years you'd get a new set of fucker overlords with new sounds and so you'd come up with a new convention for how to get those sounds out of your letters (mainly a problem with 5 vowel letters for English's, well, depending on your dialect from 12 to 15 or so vowel sounds), while ignoring the previous conventions.

...and worse, right after mostly standardizing spelling everyone collectively said "ok, now gently caress all these pronunciations and pick up new ones for each written vowel sound."

Cyrano4747 posted:

I kind of want to see an alt history of what you’d get if a Slavic language made an ugly baby with Latin or something, like you see with old French and old kinda-German early English producing this mess were typing in right now.

Romanian is right there...

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

I think Spanish is pretty consistently spelled and only really starts getting confused when they were transliterating native american words. Which pretty much every European language got a bit confused with that.

EggsAisle
Dec 17, 2013

I get it! You're, uh...

Grand Fromage posted:

Also it's not nearly as crazy as people like to make it out as, having taught English a number of years to EFL students there are plenty of rules, there are just a lot of them and a lot of exceptions (which are themselves often regular). Otherwise it would be impossible to pronounce a word that you've only seen written, like Chinese where the writing carries no phonetic information at all.

This. All kinds of cultures have a variant of "Did you know <our language> is the hardest language to learn on Earth because of <reasons>?" There's no real science behind it, just commiseration or self-congratulations or an attempt to sound knowledgeable. There's no widely accepted list of "hardest" languages on Earth, or even what constitutes a hard language in the first place. It'd be a tough thing to try and measure, and we still have a lot to learn about language acquisition in general.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



SlothfulCobra posted:

I mean in the sense of tactics that a police force could be trained to use instead of that they're doing, because in theory that should be something that could be controlled and legislated, and in this scenario the lack of any training to prevent them from brutality seems to be the root cause of many of these protests breaking out into open conflict.

So far as I know, there's nothing that the protestors can do to de-escalate conflict once its started aside from breaking and running, because when the police are trying to act as trained infantry, only they have control over whether they're going to attack. All the protestors can do is decide how much they're going to try fighting back.

I'm just trying to get an idea of what a non-hostile police force would be like at a protest or what kind of initiatives the government could force upon their police to prevent them from going hostile. Assuming that a civilian government could have authority over their police force and that they won't just go into open rebellion, which seems more likely now than it did a week ago.
Leaving aside speculation on the nuances of current events, it is absolutely possible to train police departments in non-escalatory tactics for interacting with the public. You can build a much stronger rapport than what we have now. There is no (e: intrinsic) barrier to this, and from what I read on the news there are actually a fair number of cases where this is going on and there are no outbreaks of police violence against protestors.

What would you ultimately need is political leadership and determination and you would probably need to have local support for the project, which would almost certainly be forthcoming in sufficient quantities if the Houston Police Department (or wherever) suddenly declared itself autonomous from all oversight. You would not get everyone, but in a shocking turn of events the approval of hardbitten crazified reactionaries is not always needed to execute policy.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

After a damp night sleeping and watching for danger, the column at 06:30 made what breakfast they could. During the night, a small crowd of refugees from German labor organizations had joined them - most of them elderly German men dressed in trousers and braces, and would have to ride hobo-style. That morning approaching Poitiers, they had to make a detour and then encountered a roadblock of fallen trees. The Maquis then opened fire. The front of the column returned fire, the rest of the men diving into the roadside ditches. A few men were wounded in the brief exchange, but once again, the firepower of the FAGr 5 caravan convinced the Maquis to seek other Germans to ambush.

Then, tragety. A long serving omnibus, faithful ride of the unit's predecessor in Russia, broke a wheel. Lacking spares, two mechanics volunteered to stay back with the mobile machine shop and whip up a replacement. Additional men stayed behind as guards, and the mechanics were given a two hour time limit to fix the bus. The caravan moved on, sending a quick burst of fire over the roofs of a nearby village to let any Maquis know they were rollin' heavy.

At noon, they arrived at Poitiers and stopped for lunch. This was during an air raid, but their caravan was well camouflaged, and went unnoticed.

Huh, meanwhile on the 20th, Mont-de-Marsain still had a few aircraft to depart. A Ju 290 packed to the gills was about to take off with the unit's Butchers and six to eight pigs. The pilot had a vet for a dad, and he instructed the butchers to kill the pigs if they had trouble breathing. (? wut) While taxing the airplane was flagged down by "a group of men". They were loaded too, and soon the badly overloaded aircraft was airborne, not making it to normal takeoff speed but just managing to do it anyway, collecting a bush with one of their main landing struts. On the flight there were bad thunderstorms, the butchers became air sick and the pigs suffocated. (?) The dead pigs began to rot and stink instantly, and the carcasses were tossed out when the Ju 290 arrived at Munich.

Back to the convoy: they had rolled in blasting "eastbound and down", but local commanders informed the Luftwaffe caravan that would be a bad idea. Maquis activity east of the town was rampant, with actual army infantry formations having to turn back because of French resistance. The best bet was ironically to head north, towards the German lines. While waiting until 1430 for the omnibus to catch up, the local commander saddled the caravan with refugee Germans who'd found their way to Poitiers: merchant seamen, railway workers, farriers and so on. They were also invited to take from the loot pile the Germans has in the center of town, but the commander refused, as the column already had lots of French wine and brandy with them. .

Shortly after that, the Caravan came across a senior SS officer and his three cars filled with looted goods, driven by his French secretaries. He joined the convoy. He did absolutely nothing when in the next village, when a SS unit demanded that the Luftwaffe column set half the town ablaze with their cannon. Schmitt refused on the basis that the caravan had not been fired on, and said that they would use their machine pistols against *anyone* who threatened them. A tense standoff then happened, but the SS officer gave up and let them go on.

The sky was clear as the caravan rolled on, and many jokes were made about British pilots not missing tea-time, but the shine went off the jokes when passing burnt out vehicles became common. A trailer hitch broke, and the two mechanics driving the truck volunteered to stay behind with it, hoping to fix it when the missing omnibus caught up. Schmitt's focus was on getting back to Germany as soon as possible.

In the evening it was heavy rain again, and the caravan started to seperate, so a halt was called for a rest and to let the caravan regroup. At 01:00 the caravan rolled again, with the second and third vehicles running over mines almost immediately. Fortunately, the mines were extremely small and only shredded the front tires of the vehicles involved. While the tires were changed, Schmitt threw in the towel for the night.

At dawn of the 21st of August, the column rolled out, this time aiming for Bourges. They got to Bourges mid-morning, which was a chaos of similar fleeing German columns. But, they arrived just before the local fuel stores were going to be destroyed, and so the caravan got to fill up from it. While this was going on, the caravan set up its field kitchen near the railway station, and gave everybody a chance for a wash. As Bourges was in a very "everything must go!" mood, they even got some real coffee from the local supply office. A local commander wanted the Caravan to lend him their guns and vehicles to go Maquis hunting, but Schmitt once again said he had his orders.

The rest of the day was without incident, and the caravan was 70 km east, in the town of Nevers. The local army commander there convinced Schmitt to drive east through Maquis territory to the town of Autun, 175 km away. The reason why Schmitt agreed was that the local commander had 100 or so infantry (and some French collaborators) to fortify the caravan's defenses with, as well as a number of vehicles. It took most of the next day to organize this, so the enhanced caravan rolled out in late afternoon.

This route was contested much more strongly by the Maquis, who gave the column one pitched battle and several road obsticles to clear. (Handily, the heavy aircraft tow-tractors were excellent at deconstructing road blocks.) Other German columns were now on the road too, slowing things down. USAAF mustangs strafed the convoy, causing casulties. Finally the caravan arrived at Autun, giving a "gently caress around and find out" fuselade over the town's rooftops. The wagons were circled and the convoy spent the night under guard.

Now heading North-West, the caravan made Dijon, and things were chill enough for refueling and maintenance checks. 13:45 the convoy was back on the road, which lead to Vesoul. These hills were thick with Maquis, who sniped at random at the convoy. The tow tractors had to help the wood-gas vehicles up the steep hills, the first time the wood-gas cars had any problems. They rolled into Vesoul at 16:30, and got a break, as it was announced the convoy would be spending the night here. Like Bourges, there were lots of other retreating columns passing through, including SS and SD (the SS intel security service) that were caravans of bling and french mistresses. Officers got to sleep under a roof that night, and there was a swimming pool, and some of the old German men played cards with the SD dudes in the bar

The next day, it was a late start of 14:00 hours because they'd decided to have a hot breakfast, and man it takes awhile to do those dishes. This day's destination was Belfort, and the Maquis made a very determined ambush about 15 km from the town. The attached infantry and Luftwaffe cannon saw the "terrorists" off.

At 18:15 hours, the caravan reached Belfort, absurdly the same time as Marshall Petain did. At 18:45, FAGr 5's caravan reached the German border. And suddenly there were absurd immigration problems, as the column had German and French civillians, female Luftwaffe signal auxillaries, and Russian Hiwis with them. With the ugly bling circus of SS men running away, though, the border guards thought questions were unwise, and let everybody through. The Rhine was attained by nightfall, and after crossing, the caravan spent the night sleeping in their trucks, the first night's sleep that was uninterrupted.

The next day, the column set to rejoining the rest of their unit, getting orders to head to Neubiberg. The men that had been left behind there was no word.

The last Ju 290 took off from Mont-de-Marsain on the 26th of August. The previous night, there had been a hell of a thunderstorm, which left the runways flooded. The Ju 290 was carrying 60 very damp infantry that had showed up in the storm last night, plus their gear, and managed to take off despite having to use a flooded runway. One engine died shortly after takeoff, but the Ju 290 made it to Munich without issue.

epilogue

The unit got back together, only to be divided again. All personnel not essential to unit operation were put on a train to Munich for reassignment, likely as ground troops. Technical personnel wherever possible were reassigned to Kommando Nebel to work on the now-dead Me 264 project, and soon the Dornier 635, which after all also had four engines, a theoretical large range, and a much faster speed. Major Fischer would remain commander of FAGr 5, but would spend most of his time in Berlin. Due to FAGr 5's unusual aircraft and skillset, the Major was often the Luftwaffe operational dude in meetings with Milch, Speer, Donitz, and other Nazi leaders as they tried to create some conceivable aircraft for Maritime recon in 1945, when the new-model Type XXI U-boat was gonna turn the Battle of the Atlantic around. Many of the Ju 290s and their flight crews would be reassigned into KG 200.

Those dudes with the omnibus turned up not long after the caravan found itself at Lake Constance. The bus would become the Unit's command post for 1945.

Nebakenezzer fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Jun 2, 2020

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

Cessna posted:

How soon we forget the horrors of the 90s:



I remember this; the man is the free spirited hippie and the woman is the Harvard MBA?

like seriously that actress is if possible less hippie looking than the guy

Grimnarsson
Sep 4, 2018

Nebakenezzer posted:

I remember this; the man is the free spirited hippie and the woman is the Harvard MBA?

like seriously that actress is if possible less hippie looking than the guy

Well it was the 90s so that's what the TV children of hippies and Nixon republicans apparently looked like. I watched it back then and though I don't remember it I wouldn't be surprised if she was into healing crystals and wind chimes and he was really into the stock market. Really their parents were the best part of the show.

Edit: Also *thumbsup* for those posts about that Luftwaffe unit.

Grimnarsson fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Jun 2, 2020

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Love these FAGr 5 stories n

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Does anybody have any idea of the spread on a Nock volley gun?

Epicurius
Apr 10, 2010
College Slice

Nebakenezzer posted:

I remember this; the man is the free spirited hippie and the woman is the Harvard MBA?

like seriously that actress is if possible less hippie looking than the guy

No. The girl is the hippie, the guy is the straightlaced guy. It wasn't that clever a sitcom.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Weka posted:

Does anybody have any idea of the spread on a Nock volley gun?

I’d be surprised if they got enough testing to really determine that. If loaded like regular musket barrels, I’d imagine the diameter of the barrel cluster plus maybe 12 inches in every dimension at 100 yards.

chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Jun 2, 2020

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MrYenko
Jun 18, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

A single barreled smoothbore musket is good for (very roughly) 30MOA. A good shooter who knew his weapon intimately and had the time to cast his own musket balls and really precisely develop his loads might potentially halve that (maybe 15MOA if everything is perfect,) but that would be pushing the boundaries of what is possible without some form of spin-stabilized projectile. Regulating 7 barrels to the same point of aim is a nightmare that I wouldn't even know where to start on, so I'm assuming that smoothbore volley guns like that are decidedly for ranges under 25 yards. It's a boarding or assault weapon.

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