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And yet... Still your girlfriend? ugh shittest snype
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Jun 9, 2020 18:16
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I didnt really think God parent was a real thing. I dont think my kids have one. I just assumed it didn't mean anything other than "this is who I was close with when I had the baby".
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Jun 9, 2020 18:18
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:I didnt really think God parent was a real thing. I dont think my kids have one. I just assumed it didn't mean anything other than "this is who I was close with when I had the baby". I wonder how often the godparents actually wind up with the kids after something happens to the parents. Like ... 1% of the time? Probably less?
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Jun 9, 2020 18:23
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PostNouveau posted:I wonder how often the godparents actually wind up with the kids after something happens to the parents. I wonder how legally binding being named a godparent is, like is there a legal way to be declared as such? Or if in the case of all the family members dropping dead, would the state still take the children rather than give them to the godparent?
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Jun 9, 2020 18:25
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Grimdude posted:I've known people who tell stories like this and yeah you can usually tell when they're leaving out important details. My biggest thing is the whole projection. Every story like this says that people accuse them of being "selfish". I have a childfree (though not by name) brother and SIL. they're mid 30s now so it'll probably stick. I don't think anyone in our family has ever expressed that they felt the choice was "selfish" at all. Sure some of the "it won't last" or "it's too bad" but never "it's so selfish." It's obvious this is projection because clearly all "childfull" people consider their children burdens and envy the "childfree" lifestyle. It's really baffling. OFC the "childfree" types tend to fall in with the others who don't have an empathetic bone in their entire body so I suppose it lines up.
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Jun 9, 2020 18:27
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:I didnt really think God parent was a real thing. I dont think my kids have one. I just assumed it didn't mean anything other than "this is who I was close with when I had the baby". To any sane person your definition is what it basically is. Just a close friend that you trust to be an extra role model for your kid when they're around. But you ask a hardcore Catholic what they are though... Hoo boy you're in for an earful. Which I got from a co-worker when I was named a godparent a few years ago. Man that lady loving sucked
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Jun 9, 2020 18:29
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Motherfucker posted:Also I'm not concrete on the dogma but they have to be present at the baptism for it to be legit I'd imagine so like, you can't just hot swap godparents when one burns out for some religious people I'm guessing? I think it depends on what denomination you are, honestly? I grew up Presbyterian, and it was pretty much like an honorary title. I also sort of but don't have a godfather, because my parents named my dad's paranoid schizophrenic cousin as my godfather because 'he was mostly normal in the 80s'. Hoo boy, there were some creepy phone calls he made to the house because he 'had a duty to me'.
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Jun 9, 2020 18:30
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Y'all really believe this stuff doesn't happen? My family still hasn't accepted my sister isn't going to have children because having children is the purpose of good women who were raised right. They literally told her she didn't need to get a doctoral degree because she should be settling down and raising kids in her late 20s. This thread is full of people who see someone making a different life choice as a massive personal attack. You can also pop over into the estranged parents thread which chronicles the same behavior plus plenty of "they're so selfish depriving me of my right to be a grandma." The massive patriarchal expectation of women as baby factories plus people testing different choices as a personal moral judgement makes many of these childfree stories as plausible to me even without having seen this play out with many people I'm close to.
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Jun 9, 2020 18:39
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SoftNum posted:My biggest thing is the whole projection. Every story like this says that people accuse them of being "selfish". I have a childfree (though not by name) brother and SIL. they're mid 30s now so it'll probably stick. I don't think anyone in our family has ever expressed that they felt the choice was "selfish" at all. Sure some of the "it won't last" or "it's too bad" but never "it's so selfish." It's obvious this is projection because clearly all "childfull" people consider their children burdens and envy the "childfree" lifestyle. It's really baffling. OFC the "childfree" types tend to fall in with the others who don't have an empathetic bone in their entire body so I suppose it lines up. You've been reading this thread for a while and you still don't believe that lovely families will call a member selfish over the dumbest poo poo? Like, childfree people don't just come from well-adjusted families.
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Jun 9, 2020 18:50
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duck trucker posted:To any sane person your definition is what it basically is. Just a close friend that you trust to be an extra role model for your kid when they're around. My family's catholic, but godparent has never meant "will be the child's guardian if something happens", at least for us. My godmother is one of my dad's old friends, and my godfather is one of my uncles, but my parents have told me that if anything had happened to them when we were kids their will specified that we'd be entrusted to one of my aunts. Cultures are different I know, and sometimes the god parent is expected to be some kind of mentor, but I've never heard it associated with being the designated foster parent if the parents kick it.
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Jun 9, 2020 18:55
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thekeeshman posted:My family's catholic, but godparent has never meant "will be the child's guardian if something happens", at least for us. My godmother is one of my dad's old friends, and my godfather is one of my uncles, but my parents have told me that if anything had happened to them when we were kids their will specified that we'd be entrusted to one of my aunts. Cultures are different I know, and sometimes the god parent is expected to be some kind of mentor, but I've never heard it associated with being the designated foster parent if the parents kick it. It definitely depends on the sect. I'm not Catholic and never had any godparents but it was explained to me as they're someone who is supposed to "keep the child in the faith" if something happened to the parents, but not be a foster parent necessarily. But yeah I met people who are deadly serious that godparents are basically who you're naming as foster parents and I should be taking it more seriously rather than just swinging by every few months to play with my godson and giving him candy from other countries I buy at the Asian grocery store.
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Jun 9, 2020 19:03
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luxury handset posted:an old timey phrase for mixed race people in the american south. if you had any verified black ancestry then you were black, but if you were light skinned enough that you could pass for white then folks might derogatorily refer to you as high yellow I've known black people that still use it. Another one I heard was blueblack, for darker skin. I wouldn't use them in talking about others myself, but I worked in a tattoo parlor and the context was customers describing their friends skin tone.
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Jun 9, 2020 19:08
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Lucid Nonsense posted:I've known black people that still use it. Another one I heard was blueblack, for darker skin. I wouldn't use them in talking about others myself, but I worked in a tattoo parlor and the context was customers describing their friends skin tone. Yes! I’m what would be considered high yellow, as I have yellow undertones. It’s more common in the world of cosmetics to use cool toned, yellow toned and warm toned. Blue black I’ve heard from fellow light skinned folk being colorist so I try to steer into a violent jackknife turn away from that term.
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Jun 9, 2020 19:39
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teen witch posted:Yes! I’m what would be considered high yellow, as I have yellow undertones. Terrible Trivia: In the West African slave trade, red was preferred to blue. Blue toned people were considered more unmanageable, and didn't sell as well. People with red undertones were preferred, being considered easier to "civilize", or, you know, savagely torture into submission. You see this continue to show up in colorism. Dark and blue-black/brown are lower in preference to moderate or red-brown, which is less preferred over "high yellow". It's a lot harder to buy makeup if you have cool-toned, dark skin.
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Jun 9, 2020 19:49
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WIBTA if I told my wife she has to cut her mother off as a result of my emotional infidelity?quote:So I really don't know if I have the right to ask her this. Right now I feel like I don't have the right to ask her anything, but I had a six month emotional affair with my MIL, and I think if i'd given in it 100% would have become physical. My wife and I moved out of my in laws house and our currently in my childhood bedroom, but I don't care as long as I am away from them.
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Jun 9, 2020 19:53
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AITA for “kidnapping” my granddaughter?quote:I have a son who is married to a woman who’s quite unstable. She has anxiety and is not in therapy or on medication despite me trying to push her in that direction. She says she tried both for years abs neither worked so she just uses “coping mechanisms” of her own (not drugs or alcohol, nothing dangerous, but I doubt it works.) my son tells me she still has moments of anxiety so clearly it doesn’t work. She was anxious throughout her pregnancy, refused to eat almost any food for fear of some “bacteria” and at this point I became concerned for her mental health but my son told me a lot of pregnant women worry, and it’s normal. I can tell you I never worried, but okay!
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Jun 9, 2020 19:56
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for “kidnapping” my granddaughter? Kidnapping your baby till you learn to calm the gently caress down and stop being anxious.
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Jun 9, 2020 19:58
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Motherfucker posted:Kidnapping your baby till you learn to calm the gently caress down and stop being anxious. Grandma doubts that the mother's coping mechanisms work, surely that's good enough for the courts.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:09
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for “kidnapping” my granddaughter? "Your anxiety isn't 100% gone, so obviously what you're doing isn't working!" Also, who wants to bet that the foods DIL was refusing to eat were rare meat, soft cheeses, runny eggs, and fish? Which are a known bacteria risk for pregnant people. loving boomer grandma. Hope she's looking forward to her son and his wife going no contact because she refuses to accept that what she did is lovely!
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Jun 9, 2020 20:10
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Some women stay "morning sick" the whole pregnancy too and have a very hard time eating, and it may've been easier to explain to crazy kidnapping grandma that she was worried about illness than just "didn't feel like eating.". Pregnancy is a weird thing that happens to people very differently, and people who think they know all about it after squirting out a couple kids will never not be funny. Son should've clearly hung up as soon as gramma made it clear she wasn't to return the baby; and called the cops.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:18
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Grandma made a single comment, and it's about the DIL's anxiety:quote:She could cure it with treatment She is getting eviscerated and she deserves it.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:19
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for “kidnapping” my granddaughter? I'm going to assume grandma tried to serve her a sandwich and she got turned down because she was avoiding deli meat due to Listeria concerns.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:19
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AITA for making a birthday cake for my daughter when she asked me not to?quote:My daughter turned 16 today, and she told me not to make a cake. She has been on this diet and and has asked before if she can go to therapy, but since body issues are something everyone goes through she didn’t need it, but now I’m reconsidering. Besides, she looks fine.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:19
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"I wasn't trying to take the baby, I was just taking the baby!"
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Jun 9, 2020 20:20
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It is telling that grandma can't come up with actual bad behavior coming from her daughter in law. She just twists reasonable concerns that a pregnant woman can have and write her off as "unstable"
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Jun 9, 2020 20:21
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DemoneeHo posted:AITA for making a birthday cake for my daughter when she asked me not to? Making my daughter eat cake to tackle her body image issues, real galaxy brain parenting there mom
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Jun 9, 2020 20:25
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Admiralty Flag posted:Making my daughter eat cake to tackle her body issues, real galaxy brain parenting there mom And better than decent odds that the family are fat, they're just not morbidly obese and the teenage daughter wants to eat healthy.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:26
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Tarkus posted:I wonder how legally binding being named a godparent is, like is there a legal way to be declared as such? Or if in the case of all the family members dropping dead, would the state still take the children rather than give them to the godparent? It's not legally binding AT ALL. If you want the godparent to be the person the child goes to if you die that has to be done with actual legal paperwork, not something you scribbled inside of a family bible.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:28
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for “kidnapping” my granddaughter? That's not 'kidnapping', that's kidnapping you insufferable boomer
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Jun 9, 2020 20:30
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Cythereal posted:And better than decent odds that the family are fat, they're just not morbidly obese and the teenage daughter wants to eat healthy. The alternative is that the daughter does have an eating disorder for which the mother refuses treatment. Lower odds and also poo poo parenting. I've never understood anyone who refuses to accomodate perfectly reasonable and easily-followed requests. It takes literally no effort to just not bake a cake, and you get to acknowledge your daughter as an individual instead of some kind of toy that's only there to do what you want it to.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:33
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SoftNum posted:Son should've clearly hung up as soon as gramma made it clear she wasn't to return the baby; and called the cops. I mean she hosed up but arranging her murder seems excessive.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:33
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SoftNum posted:My biggest thing is the whole projection. Every story like this says that people accuse them of being "selfish". I have a childfree (though not by name) brother and SIL. they're mid 30s now so it'll probably stick. I don't think anyone in our family has ever expressed that they felt the choice was "selfish" at all. Sure some of the "it won't last" or "it's too bad" but never "it's so selfish." It's obvious this is projection because clearly all "childfull" people consider their children burdens and envy the "childfree" lifestyle. It's really baffling. OFC the "childfree" types tend to fall in with the others who don't have an empathetic bone in their entire body so I suppose it lines up. I've been called selfish for not wanting children. There's only two males with my last name in my generation of the family, and neither of us want to have children. This, apparently, is incredibly selfish because it means that my grandfather's last name is going to die out with us, and there's been some family pressure from some particularly lovely relatives for one of us to take one for the team and try for a son to carry on the name. There's also a lot of parents out there who largely consider their adult children to be nothing but grandchild delivery vectors, and who believe that a decision not to have kids is selfish because you're 'robbing them of grandchildren.' My parents had a bit of this going on until my sister had a kid. Not like "You are being selfish and robbing me of being a grandma!", but a lot of "So when are you going to find a nice girl and settle down? Maybe your sister could introduce you to one of her friends..." kind of stuff that disappeared entirely when my nephew arrived because their concern wasn't so much "I don't want my son to be alone" so much as "I want a grandchild" And while this is not my situation at all, I definitely know some childless people who have to deal with that kind of stuff from their siblings. Reasons range from "You're selfish for denying my child the chance to grow up alongside your child" to "I'm jealous that you still get to go out whenever you want while I have to take care of my child, but that makes me sound like a bad person so I'm going to call you selfish for not suffering beside me".
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Jun 9, 2020 20:33
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I generally let childfree people have a pass as long as they're not the capital-C sort, because they're breaking out of a pervasive societal expectation and it's bitch to calibrate if your entire childhood has been formed by the kind of people who refuse to comprehend that anyone could not want children. Same as atheists and vegans, really. There's a lot of perfectly chill people out there who only mention these aspects if it comes up naturally in conversation, and posts on here tend to specifically deal with other people refusing to let go of that.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:39
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It would be selfish if we were like, literally any other animal on the planet. The whole point of being a human being, like, an animal that names itself and poo poo, is being able to create a lifestyle where animals can be alive for the sake of being alive without being browbeaten by our selfish little genes. Unfortunately, we are also still animals and let that get in the way of humanity so you get craven grandparents desperate to see reproductive success regardless of their grandkid's desires. The loving last name bullshit is naked patriarchy though, such a stupid loving system and concern. Wanting a boy for the purpose of carrying on a name isn't animal, it's just garbage.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:42
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:The alternative is that the daughter does have an eating disorder for which the mother refuses treatment. Lower odds and also poo poo parenting. Because Daughter is probably starting to lose weight and regaining a healthy size; and it's making the narrative of the rest of the family "not being able to help it" the obvious lie that it is.
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Jun 9, 2020 20:46
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SilvergunSuperman posted:I mean she hosed up but arranging her murder seems excessive. No it's not. She's gonna keep coming for that baby til someone puts her down. Also lol at police swatting an old white she-boomer. AITA For using a friend's nudes as an art Reference? quote:Hi, posting on a throwaway I made a while ago since I don't want this on my main account. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 9, 2020 21:15
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SoftNum posted:Because Daughter is probably starting to lose weight and regaining a healthy size; and it's making the narrative of the rest of the family "not being able to help it" the obvious lie that it is. Or daughter has an eating disorder and mother thinks she'll "tough love" it out of her. The daughter asking for therapy indicates she thinks her behavioral or thought patterns are unhealthy. I'm not really seeing "fat family" in this, I'm seeing "we don't have mental illness in this family"
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Jun 9, 2020 21:16
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Bonster posted:Or daughter has an eating disorder and mother thinks she'll "tough love" it out of her. The daughter asking for therapy indicates she thinks her behavioral or thought patterns are unhealthy.  mom, please, something is wrong and I need help IT'S NORMAL FOR TEENS TO HATE THEIR BODY, SHUT THE gently caress UP
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Jun 9, 2020 21:19
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PetraCore posted:Yeah, fat family crab bucket might be p common, but with the specific wording of OP I definitely read more Yeah the post strongly implies that the daughter is not OK, knows she's not OK, and would like to get help but is being shut down by her mom in favor of surprise cake
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Jun 9, 2020 21:21
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haveblue posted:Yeah the post strongly implies that the daughter is not OK, knows she's not OK, and would like to get help but is being shut down by her mom in favor of surprise cake I wonder why the daughter has an eating disorder. I guess it will forever remain a mystery.
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Jun 9, 2020 21:23
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