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AITA for telling my sister to get over her stillbirth and to be grateful for what she has?quote:My sister and I have never gotten on that well. We’re only ten months apart so struggled to have our own identities outside of each other. When she was 19, she got pregnant and started her family with her now husband. She had three kids, and then tried for a fourth, which was born stillborn with no warning. Understandably, she was devastated, but this was ten years ago now, and she’s had two children since.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:23
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Fatkraken posted:You get to make adult choices when you stop living rent free at your.parents house while working but spending your money on frivolous poo poo rather than saving up to move out. OP already said the fact it's tattoos is less important than the fact she's taking advantage of them by essentially pretending to save up for the move. Yeah its a disgrace she needs to just give her paychecks over to her mom so the mom can decide which cost and socially appropriate hobbies her daughter is allowed to partake in. And anyone who goes straight to throwing someone out over a no-tattoos rule "because she's not saving money properly" is also the kind of moralizing rear end in a top hat who would freak out if the daughter applied for welfare benefits (you know, being threatened with homelessness and all) because the neighbors could all find out then the whole town knows the daughter is some lazy welfare queen. pentyne fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Jun 13, 2020 |
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Jun 13, 2020 23:28
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Fatkraken posted:You get to make adult choices when you stop living rent free at your.parents house while working but spending your money on frivolous poo poo rather than saving up to move out. OP already said the fact it's tattoos is less important than the fact she's taking advantage of them by essentially pretending to save up for the move. yeah because if you ever buy anything while saving up, you're just pretending to save.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:29
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At best it's an everyone sucks, anyone who is so against tattoos that they'd kick their own child out for having them is an arsehole as far as I'm concerned. If you care more about policing your child's appearance than making sure they're safe and provided for then gently caress you. It's pretty dumb to think they somehow reduce the worth of a person, and it's pretty repugnant to think that your children becoming less valuable people makes them less deserving of your love. I'd also be willing to bet that the stuff about paying board and saving to move out hasn't been addressed at all, she's just been bottling up resentment towards her 20 year old daughter. If it has been discussed properly and daughter lied about it then maybe it can be an everyone sucks, but I'm pretty sure OP is just a loving rear end in a top hat who thinks their child is property.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:31
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Fatkraken posted:You get to make adult choices when you stop living rent free at your.parents house while working but spending your money on frivolous poo poo rather than saving up to move out. OP already said the fact it's tattoos is less important than the fact she's taking advantage of them by essentially pretending to save up for the move. Also: quote:She has been living with us without paying board despite working full time and I am also angry that she is wasting her money on tattoos rather trying to pay her way. The reason why we have allowed her to live with us without paying anything is we wanted her to be able to save to buy a house and get a head start in life.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:34
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Well, if the money-saving applies to tattoos does it also apply to food? Gas? hanging out with friends? video games? or any other number of sundry things a 19 year old could be spending their money on? Had she frittered the money away on yarn or something they wouldn't bat an eyelid.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:36
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Ok, so maybe i have baggage because i asked my roommate (lodger, it's my house) to move out nearly 3 years ago because they are incapable of keeping shared areas tidy and in that time they have saved up precisely nothing, often needing to borrow money, while spending large amounts on toy robots and board games..... Even so, i think we're all reading between the lines because it's not a very long post, I'm just reading different things than most of y'all. I do agree that being dead set against tattoos is a red flag though, so maybe my benefit of the doubt was misplaced
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Jun 13, 2020 23:42
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA the for telling my daughter she should move out after discovering her tattoos? INFO: Is your house a Jewish cemetery? One of my friends actually got a ton of poo poo from her mom because of that whole thing when she got a tattoo.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:42
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Fatkraken posted:Ok, so maybe i have baggage because i asked my roommate (lodger, it's my house) to move out nearly 3 years ago because they are incapable of keeping shared areas tidy and in that time they have saved up precisely nothing, often needing to borrow money, while spending large amounts on toy robots and board games..... Yeah everybody's going to hate that, you didn't give birth to that freeloader you were just being nice and they were ungrateful and lovely
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Jun 13, 2020 23:44
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AITA for calling my coworker “Karen”?quote:I’m a cashier at a larger grocery store. There’s ~70 cashiers so I don’t expect everyone to know my name, especially since I’ve only been there six months and part time. And to be fair, I have long hair that can sometimes obscure my name tag. As well, I have an “ethnic” name that despite being short and easy to pronounce, it is quite uncommon. I’m completely used to people asking me what my name is and telling them.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:45
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It really does strongly depend on what sort of discussion there was about the daughter saving up and moving out. Nothing about the post makes me think the mother ever brought it up properly and just assumed things so she doesn't have a lot of ground to stand on. That's the real thing she needs to talk to her daughter about but she won't because she is mad at her adult daughter making her own choices and it's way easier to just be mad about that.
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Jun 13, 2020 23:48
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for calling my coworker “Karen”? Stand your ground! gently caress that lady and it’s only a part time job Ashley!
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Jun 13, 2020 23:49
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for calling my coworker “Karen”?
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Jun 13, 2020 23:54
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kdrudy posted:It really does strongly depend on what sort of discussion there was about the daughter saving up and moving out. Nothing about the post makes me think the mother ever brought it up properly and just assumed things so she doesn't have a lot of ground to stand on. That's the real thing she needs to talk to her daughter about but she won't because she is mad at her adult daughter making her own choices and it's way easier to just be mad about that. Living at home as an young adult in your parents house is a common thing in most societies, throwing kids out at 18 and laughing at them in the street is a pretty distinct White America thing. The same parents screaming "my house my rules" are the same who would try and kick out their underage teens for any act of disrespect or disobedience rather then be forced to communicate and actually parent their children.
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Jun 14, 2020 00:08
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I am sure that one can easily make rent and groceries for multiple months on the price of several tattoos.
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Jun 14, 2020 00:16
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Motherfucker posted:If you tell me to stop moaning during my prostate exam that is kink shaming and I will have you cancelled SO FAST moaning while your blood is drawn? im kink shaming you try to cancel me you vampire.
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Jun 14, 2020 00:21
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Solenna posted:From Ask A Manager One of my brothers is an academic, and he told me that at international work conferences, there's always this professor with a collar (and a mesh shirt, leather pants, so admittedly a bit more extreme than this woman) constantly followed by a strict-looking woman who never speaks but is there anyway. To him and many of the other academics in his age cohort (mid 30s) it is very, very obvious this guy is in some sort of TPE / 24/7 BDSM relationship, but God drat if it doesn't make conferences awkward. To add the cherry ball gag on top, my brother's field is psychology. A few years ago I participated in a thesis student's dissertation on BDSM as part of a questionnaire panel and a live interview, and interestingly she told me that there is a disproportionate amount of subs that studied or are active in psychology, while doms are more likely to be from STEM fields. As an aside, it was an interesting panel to be part of, I got to meet a guy who described himself as a "submissive sadist", something I never even thought existed. The panel itself took place in a university basement because it was the only space available at the time, but we all sniggered at the appropriateness of it.
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Jun 14, 2020 00:50
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Pope Hilarius II posted:I got to meet a guy who described himself as a "submissive sadist", something I never even thought existed.
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Jun 14, 2020 00:54
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for calling my coworker “Karen”? So uhh... I guess Karen asked to speak to her manager?
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Jun 14, 2020 00:56
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WIBTA if I tell my co-worker the baby name she picked is kind of bad?quote:So, my coworker just had a baby girl and named her Nazia... Not only is the word Nazi in the name but it is pronounced exactly the same as the word nausea. She has not realized this and hasn't put it together yet. WIBTA if I let her know before a stranger does? She's already written the birth certificate papers.
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Jun 14, 2020 01:02
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Pope Hilarius II posted:I got to meet a guy who described himself as a "submissive sadist" Did he like to be beaten with clubs that have bad ergonomics, giving his masochist dom carpal tunnel?
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Jun 14, 2020 01:16
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:I assume this is a "serial killer's assistant" type thing, where you want to be a piece of poo poo to others but by having someone else tell you to do it you absolve yourself of responsibility because you were just following orders. I don't think it counts as being a piece of poo poo to others if the others are enjoying the pain you inflict and everyone agreed beforehand that this is what you're doing. That'd be like calling a WWE fighter someone who commits assault.
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Jun 14, 2020 01:23
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Pope Hilarius II posted:One of my brothers is an academic, and he told me that at international work conferences, there's always this professor with a collar (and a mesh shirt, leather pants, so admittedly a bit more extreme than this woman) constantly followed by a strict-looking woman who never speaks but is there anyway. To him and many of the other academics in his age cohort (mid 30s) it is very, very obvious this guy is in some sort of TPE / 24/7 BDSM relationship, but God drat if it doesn't make conferences awkward.
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Jun 14, 2020 01:25
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Puppy Time posted:I don't think it counts as being a piece of poo poo to others if the others are enjoying the pain you inflict and everyone agreed beforehand that this is what you're doing. That'd be like calling a WWE fighter someone who commits assault.
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Jun 14, 2020 01:31
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Evil Willow posted:She is a Canadian white woman, not foreign or anything i wonder what folks she was thinking of included in "foreign" or "anything" and why those would make the name suddenly cool
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Jun 14, 2020 01:36
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:I'm kinkshaming and you can't stop me. I don't know about WWE, but I'd definitely say that of MMA fighters or boxers. Doing it with consent makes you less of a piece of poo poo than doing it without consent, but you're still someone who enjoys abusing others. Having done both of those as an amateur, the joy of it isn’t in hurting people, being in the ring is this insanely transcendent experience that forces you to be in the moment and processing a ton of information while being hit in the face. It’s like full-contact meditation. I’m one of the most laid back and nonviolent people I know, but in the ring it was completely different. It’s a pretty similar rush to the one I get driving an ambulance lights and sirens through heavy traffic but turned up by a factor of ten. I actually didn’t really understand what exactly I was feeling until I read something by Karl Marlantes explaining the concept of transcendence in things like that.
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Jun 14, 2020 01:46
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Khanstant posted:i wonder what folks she was thinking of included in "foreign" or "anything" and why those would make the name suddenly cool "Nazia" appears to be a legitimate Pakistani name.
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Jun 14, 2020 01:47
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Gnoman posted:"Nazia" appears to be a legitimate Pakistani name. Yes but iirc it's pronounced Na-Jia not nausea, so mom didn't even get that part right lol
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Jun 14, 2020 01:54
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my sister to get over her stillbirth and to be grateful for what she has? nta my child hood sucked because my older brother died before i was born and you live in its shadow forever so you are only helping her real children.
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Jun 14, 2020 02:03
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Tarkus posted:Well, if the money-saving applies to tattoos does it also apply to food? Gas? hanging out with friends? video games? or any other number of sundry things a 19 year old could be spending their money on? A good full back tattoo is gonna be in the realm of 4 digits which is kind of a high expense for someone you're supporting that is promising to use their money eventually. We've seen many posts about stuff like that and whether it's computers or xboxes or w/e, most of the thread would agree with the OP. Eating out occasionally or having coffee with friends is a bit different and unless it's constant it's prolly not worth picking a fight over.
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Jun 14, 2020 02:46
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AITA For Not Driving A Girl Home, Just Because She Was Scared?quote:Pre-qurantine!
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Jun 14, 2020 02:55
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Evil Willow posted:AITA For Not Driving A Girl Home, Just Because She Was Scared? And now, a presentation on not getting laid by OP.
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Jun 14, 2020 03:02
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snergle posted:nta my child hood sucked because my older brother died before i was born and you live in its shadow forever so you are only helping her real children. Sorry dude. Yeah, OP isn't an rear end in a top hat and anyone in the family taking the joy vampire's side is enabling her.
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Jun 14, 2020 03:09
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tactlessbastard posted:Sorry dude. Anyone else remember the zombaby legacy? And how horrible it would be for any other kid that insane woman had, because Baby Faith was so perfect.
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Jun 14, 2020 03:10
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Literally A Person posted:And now, a presentation on not getting laid by OP. Oh my God OP why are you dating lmao
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Jun 14, 2020 03:10
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ArbitraryC posted:A good full back tattoo is gonna be in the realm of 4 digits which is kind of a high expense for someone you're supporting that is promising to use their money eventually. We've seen many posts about stuff like that and whether it's computers or xboxes or w/e, most of the thread would agree with the OP. Eating out occasionally or having coffee with friends is a bit different and unless it's constant it's prolly not worth picking a fight over. Really starting to make sense why so many parents complain their kids don't call often enough. Threatening your adult child with homelessness for what they do with their money and their body is perfectly fine and normal to some people.
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Jun 14, 2020 03:12
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pentyne posted:Living at home as an young adult in your parents house is a common thing in most societies, throwing kids out at 18 and laughing at them in the street is a pretty distinct White America thing. I've heard that even then, that was only after the post-WWII suburban housing boom. ArbitraryC posted:A good full back tattoo is gonna be in the realm of 4 digits which is kind of a high expense for someone you're supporting that is promising to use their money eventually. We've seen many posts about stuff like that and whether it's computers or xboxes or w/e, most of the thread would agree with the OP. Eating out occasionally or having coffee with friends is a bit different and unless it's constant it's prolly not worth picking a fight over. The issue there is that OP kinda made it sound as though she was mainly offended by her daughter doing something that she doesn't approve of (which she only noticed while inadvertently invading her privacy), as if the money thing was little more than a convenient excuse for her to maintain control over her daughter into adulthood.
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Jun 14, 2020 03:13
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ArbitraryC posted:A good full back tattoo is gonna be in the realm of 4 digits which is kind of a high expense for someone you're supporting that is promising to use their money eventually. We've seen many posts about stuff like that and whether it's computers or xboxes or w/e, most of the thread would agree with the OP. Eating out occasionally or having coffee with friends is a bit different and unless it's constant it's prolly not worth picking a fight over. It's almost like a parent being this loving dumb might have a reason to greatly exaggerate the extent of something they object to for no reason other than control of their adult children? Like yeah, move out but this parent should shut the gently caress up.
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Jun 14, 2020 03:21
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I agree it's a stupid thing to get upset about but really maybe only bite the hand that feeds if you're in a position for it to stop feeding you. Adults get in awkward spots where they have to eat poo poo in life all the time, unless you're independently wealthy the usual response is to look for a way out while bearing with it. I don't think that's a good societal setup but it is reality for the foreseeable future. Couple that with "I'm saving to moveout" friends we've all had that mysteriously seem to take their would be rent and apply it immediately to entertainment and it makes the individual setting a lot less sympathetic. This wasn't religion, sexuality, political views, it was not getting tattoos for a few years.
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Jun 14, 2020 03:31
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ArbitraryC posted:A good full back tattoo is gonna be in the realm of 4 digits which is kind of a high expense for someone you're supporting that is promising to use their money eventually. We've seen many posts about stuff like that and whether it's computers or xboxes or w/e, most of the thread would agree with the OP. Eating out occasionally or having coffee with friends is a bit different and unless it's constant it's prolly not worth picking a fight over. Tbf stuff like that you don't really get done in one session anyway. It's not like buying a computer where you drop a bunch of money all at once. It's something you could and often do over time. She could also have a friend who does tatts who gave her a discount, or is an apprentice doing work for free etc
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Jun 14, 2020 03:34
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