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Bronze Fonz posted:Brazil has gifted the nation of Gambia with a Venezuelan oil field to welcome them into the UN. The Gambia is now looking for outside investors to ravage the Venezuelan oil field, and pay exorbitant taxes on all profits.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:00
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A UN investigation into Vanuatu's war crimes is requested after several Garfield phones somehow find their way to brazilian shore. Local population getting restless.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:00
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:A wire has just been received from London: as a show of international goodwill, the United Kingdom offers to transit, illicitly and without expectation of return, the British subjects Graham Linehan and Joan "JK" Rowling to any dictatorship willing to scapegoat and make examples of them. Saudi Arabia accepts the gracious offer. Ms Rowling will be tasked with making certain pious revisions to the Harry Potter series, Mr Linehan will be allowed to carry on as before. 5.Saudi Arabia opposes pervy and decadent Garfield statues. 6. Opposes drunk texting exes, when it's over its all over, we also ban alcohol in our country. 7. Opposes the international holiday unless it's about us, the royal Saud family. Grevling fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Jul 6, 2020 |
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Jul 6, 2020 17:01
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Zombiepop posted:Egypt strongly disagrees with this and wont accept any garfields on their soil, hereforth all garfields comics, pizzas or whatever is banned from Egypt. Then the nation of El Salvador is looking to buy the Suez canal from the nation of Egypt, how does three hundred (300) shipments of Garfield paraphernalia sound?
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Jul 6, 2020 17:03
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th we, the Unitdeds States delegation, reiterate tht we have bad gas, an anime sucks also, we would like to approach Morrocco with an arms deal wh is anyone actually morroco yet US doesnt give a gifuck
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Jul 6, 2020 17:04
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gently caress off Batman posted:Then the nation of El Salvador is looking to buy the Suez canal from the nation of Egypt, how does three hundred (300) shipments of Garfield paraphernalia sound? Egypt kindly reminds el Salvador that this kind of joke is offensiv and we will kick your rear end as soon as we have boats.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:04
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MrQwerty posted:We would like to extend a measure of friendship to all African countries, currently; pan-Africanism is the way forward after the terrible way the United Kingdom has treated the Belgian Congo in these trying times. Yes indeed https://youtu.be/3x65zRt8aaI
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Jul 6, 2020 17:05
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:A wire has just been received from London: as a show of international goodwill, the United Kingdom offers to transit, illicitly and without expectation of return, the British subjects Graham Linehan and Joan "JK" Rowling to any dictatorship willing to scapegoat and make examples of them. The Republic of Nicaragua gladly accepts both of them, where they will be placed in our official dueling ring for the merriment of the populace
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Jul 6, 2020 17:05
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:Three agenda items have been added. Resolution 1 is amended to order Japan to pay reparations because the parliamentarian can't be bothered to keep track of an amendment vote. New Zealand votes nay on Resolution 1. Additionally, New Zealand opts to join Australia in the Pro-Anime Prosperity Sphere. New Zealand votes nay on Resolution 2. Diplomatic Immunity is being offered to all journalists who wish to take refuge in New Zealand. New Zealand votes nay on Resolution 3. The Five Eyes are now fixed on Brazil. New Zealand votes YAY on Resolution 4. New Zealand votes YAY on Resolution 5. Additionally, it suggests a location in the same mountains that The Lord of the Rings was filmed at. New Zealand votes a tepid gay on Resolution 6. New Zealand votes YAY on Resolution 7. New Zealand has voted. GOD help us all.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:06
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Zippy the Bummer posted:th South Africa will kindly accept this arms deal from the United States on behalf of Morocco on the platform of Pan-Africanism
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Jul 6, 2020 17:06
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:I only keep track of votes and countries. The parliamentarian must remain neutral. Turkey votes as follows: 1) Approve, ban anime 2) Approve, kill all journalists 3) No, do not nuke Japan, c'mon In addition, Turkey proposes that the UN invade and conquer the Vatican and have a big garage sale to discharge all UN debt and then have a big party. Will Columbia bring the coke?
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Jul 6, 2020 17:06
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Turkey apologizes to the Chairman for not reading entire thread before posting.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:08
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Brazil publicly condemns Turkey's plans for an invasion of the Vatican for the sake of keeping the religious vote. We have, however, began preparing cocaine MRE's for Turkish soldiers.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:09
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Zombiepop posted:Egypt kindly reminds el Salvador that this kind of joke is offensiv and we will kick your rear end as soon as we have boats. Oh you misunderstood us, the ships are loaded and on your way , ready to suicide crash onto your shores and ports if you don't comply. The Nile will be covered in Egyptian blood and Garfields.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:10
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Nicaragua also condemns Turkey's idea to invade the Vatican because we have a lot of Catholics and come on that's like electoral suicide here
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Jul 6, 2020 17:11
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South Africa joins Brazil in the condemnation of Turkey (Brazil call us)
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Jul 6, 2020 17:11
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Croatia formally uninvites Turkey from our birthday party. Australia and New Zealand you're in.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:11
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drunkenmonkeystyle posted:Croatia formally uninvites Turkey from our birthday party. The Gambia proposes you hold your birthday here in The Gambia, and have a swell time.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:14
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Turkey makes a couple phone calls to heads of state asking about how they prefer their gold Bars or coins or what?
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Jul 6, 2020 17:14
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gently caress off Batman posted:Oh you misunderstood us, the ships are loaded and on your way , ready to suicide crash onto your shores and ports if you don't comply. The stoned delegates of Egypt has been reminded by a lowly millenial secretary that we indeed have the 6th biggest navy in the world so bring it on.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:14
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White Noise Marine posted:The Gambia proposes you hold your birthday here in The Gambia, and have a swell time. Does the Gambia delegate support the end of the export of American animation?
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Jul 6, 2020 17:16
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Zombiepop posted:The stoned delegates of Egypt has been reminded by a lowly millenial secretary that we indeed have the 6th biggest navy in the world so bring it on. Oh thats great news, so, I've got this friend named Gambia
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Jul 6, 2020 17:18
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The Parlimentarian has determined that the most popular proposals for the Garfield statue location are Amendment A: at all man-made canals with one leg on each side Amendment B: on top of the US capitol building positioned so that the cum will splatter the white house All aye votes please include which amendment they prefer
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Jul 6, 2020 17:19
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Statutory Ape posted:Oh thats great news, so, I've got this friend named Gambia Intriguing tell me more, also is Belgian congo down with the pan african alliance+ greece(?)
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Jul 6, 2020 17:20
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drunkenmonkeystyle posted:Does the Gambia delegate support the end of the export of American animation? The Gambia opposes all forms of Anime, including the American animation.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:21
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White Noise Marine posted:The Gambia opposes all forms of Anime, including the American animation. Croatia has to say this is tough, but fair. Croatia wishes to introduce an amendment to banning anime to ban all animation.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:23
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MrQwerty posted:South Africa will kindly accept this arms deal from the United States on behalf of Morocco on the platform of Pan-Africanism the undsse acan barely even keeps its head upright and we well i don rember
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Jul 6, 2020 17:24
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:[Garfield statues] Brazil will retract its condemnation of Turkey if the gold is sent in the shape of 6 to 7 inches long cylinders with tapered tips.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:26
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Bronze Fonz posted:Brazil will retract its condemnation of Turkey if the gold is sent in the shape of 6 to 7 inches long cylinders with tapered tips. I thought the average gold bar was 4 inches? Persia finds this very unsettling.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:29
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Zombiepop posted:The stoned delegates of Egypt has been reminded by a lowly millenial secretary that we indeed have the 6th biggest navy in the world so bring it on. Greetings fellow delegates, after reviewing the strength of our own naval forces (consisting of three lightly armed kayaks and one wooden support raft) we decided to be generous and to bring this matter to rest. The great nation of Egypt does not have to fear the full might of El Salvadorian naval forces anymore. Our last ambassador has been recalled and placed in a 11 step NA program, effective immediately.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:30
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:Three agenda items have been added. Resolution 1 is amended to order Japan to pay reparations because the parliamentarian can't be bothered to keep track of an amendment vote. Russia goes on record that we: 1. Are the ones who raised this, duh 2. Support the free and open murder of journalists 3. Oppose the nuking of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, FOR NOW 4. Support the legalization of dank dank goodness 5. Oppose the building of cumming Garfield 6. Oppose the texting of our exes 7. Oppose the holidayfication (look it up) of July 7th In non-voting business, Russia would like to offer Croatia 2 MiG-35s.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:30
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Three agenda items have been added. Resolution 1 is amended to order Japan to pay reparations because the parliamentarian can't be bothered to keep track of an amendment vote. Resolution 1: The complete and total ban of all Anime with Japan ordered to pay reparations Anime shall be named as a contraband substance in all member states Raised by Russia, Seconded by many others Pro: Russia, Saudi Arabia, US, China, Canada, Mexico, South Africa, Vietnam, Egypt, Nicaragua, Brazil, El Salvador, Belgian Congo, Zimbabwe, The Gambia, Jamaica (16) Con: Spain, Croatia, Australia, UK, New Zealand (5) Abs: Some other BS: Resolution 2: Just let us murder journalists. Come on. Raised by Saudi Arabia, Seconded by Turkey Pro: Saudi Arabia, Turkey, China, Mexico, Australia, Vietnam, Egypt, El Salvador, Belgian Congo, The Gambia, Jamaica (11) Con: US, Canada, Croatia, South Africa, UK, New Zealand (6) Abs: Spain, Nicaragua, Brazil, Zimbabwe Some Other BS: Resolution 3: Nuke Hiroshima and Nagasaki again Raised by China, seconded by Saudi Arabia Pro: China, Saudi Arabia, Vietnam, Brazil (4) Con: US, Canada, Croatia, Mexico, South Africa, Australia, Egypt, Nicaragua, Belgian Congo, Zimbabwe, UK, The Gambia, Jamaica, New Zealand (13) Abs: Spain, El Salvador Some Other BS: Resolution 4: Legalize weed worldwide Raised by US, seconded by Canada Pro: Canada, US, Croatia, Mexico, South Africa, Australia, Vietnam, Egypt, Nicaragua, Brazil, El Salvador, Belgian Congo, Zimbabwe, The Gambia, New Zealand (14) Con: Spain, China, Saudi Arabia, Jamaica (4) Abs: Some Other BS: Resolution 5: Build an erotic 50 foot tall statue of Garfield the Cat which is anatomically correct and capable of cum at a currently undecided location Raised by Cuba, seconded by China Pro: Cuba, China, Brazil, Croatia, New Zealand (5) Con: Nicaragua, The Gambia, Saudi Arabia (3) Abs: Belgian Congo, Egypt, Jamaica Some other BS: UK Amendment A: Locate this statue at all manmade canals with one leg on each side Pro: El Salvador, United States (2) Amendment B: Locate this statue on top of the US capitol building Pro: Vanuatu Resolution 6: Permit nations to drunk text their exs at 2AM for booty calls Raised by Ghanarea, seconded by Mexico, co-sponsored by South Africa Pro: Ghanarea, Mexico, South Africa, Egypt, Croatia, Jamaica, New Zealand (7) Con: Belgian Congo, Brazil, El Salvador, Nicaragua, The Gambia, Saudi Arabia (7) Abs: Some Other BS: Resolution 7: Make July 7th an international holiday because "gently caress it" Raised by Zimbabwe, seconded by South Africa Pro: Zimbabwe, South Africa, Brazil, Egypt, Croatia, El Salvador, Nicaragua, The Gambia, Jamaica, New Zealand (10) Con: Saudi Arabia (1) Abs: Belgian Congo Some other BS: Further proposals will not be added to the agenda until the current agenda is clear.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:32
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mongolia is buying nukes if anyone's selling please let mongolia know gently caress to the NWFZ
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Jul 6, 2020 17:32
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Zippy the Bummer posted:the undsse acan barely even keeps its head upright and we well i don rember We gladly accept this arms deal from US President Donald Trump or future US President Joe Biden, whichever signs it Resolution 5 Amendment B Yea MrQwerty fucked around with this message at 17:36 on Jul 6, 2020 |
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Jul 6, 2020 17:34
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5. Aye- Amendment A 6. Nay 7. Nay Seconding Brazil's motion for a 69-foot statue, unless a 420-foot alternative can be built. Spinz posted:Turkey proposes that the UN invade and conquer the Vatican and have a big garage sale to discharge all UN debt and then have a big party. Will Columbia bring the coke? Australia expresses thanks and solidarity with the United Kingdom on the anime front, and bitter disappointment and disillusionment with Croatia for its betrayal. We now unofficially (only monetary and logistically) support the immediate debalkanization/reformation of Yugoslavia to silence Croatian anti-anime sentiment in the region. Harold Stassen fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Jul 6, 2020 |
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Jul 6, 2020 17:36
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We would like to formally thank the President of the General Assembly of the UN for their tireless efforts at ensuring all nations have a proper venue to convene. Your enduring public service will be a legacy for generations upon generations of nation posting. Brazil would also wish to offer massive shipments of Turkish golden schlongs to Russia, once they are received, in exchange for some of those sweetass Migs. Unless the US wishes to depart with whatever functional F-35s they might have lolololol
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Jul 6, 2020 17:36
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Resolutions 1-4 as well as 7 possess overwhelming majorities and therefore are being prematurely declared RESOLVED in order to make way for new business. Resolution 1 PASSES. Anime is hereby banned 16-5 Despite an overwhelming majority in favor this was the most controversial and heated item on the agenda with the UK threatening war and a pro-anime alliance being set-up. Regardless a double digit majority means that the ayes have it. Anime is banned and Japan must issue a formal letter of apology as well as pay sanctions to all nations who have suffered from Waifus, Shonen, and Isekai Resolution 2 PASSES. The murder of journalists is hereby legalized 11-6 Member nations may now freely murder journalists if they so choose. Resolution 3 is DEFEATED 4-13 Japan will not be nuked. Despite an early wave of support the international community has decided that re-nuking Japan is too harsh a punishment even after creating anime. Resolution 4 PASSES 14-4 Jamaica continues its anti-marijuana strategy to defeat stereotypes while the rest of the world continues its pro-marijuana stance. Resolution 7 PASSES 10 - 1 July 7th is hereby named a holiday because "gently caress it" STILL VOTING ON Resolution 5: Build an erotic 50 foot tall statue of Garfield the Cat which is anatomically correct and capable of cum at a currently undecided location Raised by Cuba, seconded by China Pro: Cuba, China, Brazil, Croatia, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa (7) Con: Nicaragua, The Gambia, Saudi Arabia (3) Abs: Belgian Congo, Egypt, Jamaica Some other BS: UK Amendment A: Locate this statue at all manmade canals with one leg on each side Pro: El Salvador, United States, Australia (2) Amendment B: Locate this statue on top of the US capitol building Pro: Vanuatu, South Africa, Brazil (3) Resolution 6: Permit nations to drunk text their exs at 2AM for booty calls Raised by Ghanarea, seconded by Mexico, co-sponsored by South Africa Pro: Ghanarea, Mexico, South Africa, Egypt, Croatia, Jamaica, New Zealand (7) Con: Belgian Congo, Brazil, El Salvador, Nicaragua, The Gambia, Saudi Arabia (7) Abs: Some Other BS: BIG FLUFFY DOG fucked around with this message at 20:22 on Jul 6, 2020 |
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Jul 6, 2020 17:39
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COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:5. Aye- Amendment A Australia should note that the vote Croatia voted nay on. Croatia is not anti-anime. But Croatia thinks if one animation why not go for broke.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:41
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:Resolutions 1-4 as well as 7 possess overwhelming majorities and therefore are being prematurely declared RESOLVED in order to make way for new business. Croatia hopes parliament would edit this as Croatia had edited their vote to point to provision B
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Jul 6, 2020 17:43
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Persia votes: 1) Abstain at present. Looking for incentives for this as Persia helped Japan regain its military program and this works against it 2) Pro 3) Con 4) Pro (in a politically risky move for our handsome prince of persia) 5) Persia proposes an amendment replacing Garfield with Nermal 6) Con 7) Pro edit: drat it
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Jul 6, 2020 17:44
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