r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Porfiriato posted:

... I mean, the sum total of grievances she enumerates are 1.) reaching into a bag of potato chips and grabbing a handful without asking first and 2.) using their refrigerator to store milk and butter (that he apparently bought on the way to their house) for a few hours until he goes home. (Edit: possibly also 3.) helping himself to dinner mints left out on a table, presumably for guests like him??)

The first one is perhaps mildly bad behavior, but if that's the worst she can come up with it doesn't exactly come anywhere near the bar for "obnoxious food-stealing behavior".

She sounds utterly insufferable though I lol'ed at the mental image of her icily telling her father-in-law "sorry, there isn't any dessert" through pursed lips like it was some sort of nuclear comeback to his perceived bad behavior.

The couple are probably named Barnaby and Agatha, they went to Eton and Oxford, and they answer the phone like "hehleau", while the FIL is a semiretired plumber named Ralph, who displays his tradesman crack at every occasion.

upper class pretension snype

Pigsfeet on Rye fucked around with this message at 15:09 on Jul 26, 2020

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:06

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:27

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

[quote="Propaniac" post="506785661"]
My (31F) father-in-law (68M) does not respect us or our home at all.

Hyacinth is not the hero of "Keeping up Appearances." Do not use her as a role model.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:32

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Violin mom is surprisingly evil for just some run-of-the-mill lady.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:45

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

I mean mom sacrificing the child for her new man is depressingly common

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:49

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

poo poo's the most British Bad Guest poo poo it's hilarious.

"Ooooh golly what a treat, dinner chocolates can't be beat!"
:argh:

"PLEASE, restrain your father's tomfoolery, Mathias!"

CharlestheHammer posted:

I mean mom sacrificing the child for her new man is depressingly common

It's always fun to watch the fetal Estranged Parents cases develop :3:

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:57

Bomrek: Oct 9, 2012

Christ these people would turn into pillars of salt after ten minutes around my dad, a man who resdistributes the food on peoples plates after they've started eating and once ate an entire decorative fruit display by himself at his in-laws house

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:00

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Bomrek posted:

a man who resdistributes the food on peoples plates after they've started eating

Why???

I can�t think of what kind of thought process would lead to someone doing that.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:04

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

CharlestheHammer posted:

I mean mom sacrificing the child for her new man is depressingly common

Awww yeah, been there baby!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:04

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

AITA for using my SILs garden flowers in my wedding bouquet

quote:

Fine I am the rear end in a top hat, whatever.
I'd have brought the succulents back the next day. And if the roses grew back once they'll grow back again I figured but ok, whatever I'm the rear end in a top hat sure

The original post before OP got dragged:

quote:

My wedding was put on hold due to coronavirus.
During this time, SILs grandfather got sick, so she traveled to stay with her family.

I was left in charge of feeding her dog, my SIL has always grown beautiful flowers, and succulents, she knows how much I admire her green thumb.
Before she left she cut all the heads off her roses, and this is where I made my mistake at the time I did not know you could cut the heads off roses and make more grow.

So when I was over feeding the dog I noticed more growing and was amazed, then the restrictions in my country where lifted, my husband and I decided to throw together a quick wedding ceremony, the idea just came to me to use the roses she'd grown, thinking that has she'd cut them she'd not know I'd taken any.

As I was over cutting them, I remembered the succulents and decided to grab a few in their pots to use as centre pieces.

We'd always wanted to get married in my grandmothers church and venue hall, which was 2 hours away from our home and SILs home, SIL decided she'd come back for the wedding, but would fly into that local airport, then go straight to the local hotel instead of going home when she landed then driving to the wedding and back all in one day.

The wedding itself went beautifully, she was happy and I was so happy, everyone was happy.
We get to the after party and SIL notices the succulents, and gets very angry asking if they're hers, and how could I do that. She started trying to snatch them up, unfortunately this caused a light fuss while I asked at her to stop, that she was ruining my wedding, while I grabbed at the succulent. She loudly said "You're stealing from me"

My family wrongly took this to mean they could take the succulents, the ones they didn't take did end up damaged as people touched the leaves and squeezed them.

SIL took all my succulent centres that she could and left in a huff, after that the party died down, pretty much everyone in her family took her side, where as my family think it's flowers it's ridiculous.

When she arrived home the next day she noticed the roses gone, and send a message saying how could I steal her plants without permissions, and that she was "sick" of me over stepping all the time.

Personally I feel like they're just plants, they will grow back, and it's a shame for her to have spoilt the after party when she could have just left the succulents and most people would have ignored them. But I also understand she spends a lot of time and money growing many of these plants and they are her pasttime that I should have asked to use them

TLDR: Borrowed some flowers without permission, but SIL shouted at me during my wedding party.

So Reddit AITA

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:06

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

CharlestheHammer posted:

I mean mom sacrificing the child for her new man is depressingly common

Isn't this literally Cinderella

Wait, I forget that's the other way around, but I'm pretty sure it's one fairytale or another. Enough to be a cliche.

Reminded that my stepmother for a while would jokingly call herself the 'wicked stepmother' and she was way better than my actual mother.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:14

Bomrek: Oct 9, 2012

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Why???

I can’t think of what kind of thought process would lead to someone doing that.

No one else can think of one either! Sometimes he just decides your egg to tomato ratio is off and he needs to fix it right this instant. It took a while living away from home to realize not everyone's pops did that.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:17

Puppy Time: Mar 1, 2005

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Isn't this literally Cinderella

Wait, I forget that's the other way around, but I'm pretty sure it's one fairytale or another. Enough to be a cliche.

Reminded that my stepmother for a while would jokingly call herself the 'wicked stepmother' and she was way better than my actual mother.

Generally speaking, in fairy tales it's the dad who's considered OK* and the mom is either dead or actively evil. Most of the stories with evil stepmothers were originally about evil mothers and the transcribers were like, "No, I don't think we can publish that."

*With the notable exception of Allerleirauh, where Mom dies and Dad is like, "WELP I GOTTA gently caress MY DAUGHTER NOW!"

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:21

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

blackmet posted:

Hyacinth is not the hero of "Keeping up Appearances." Do not use her as a role model.

LadyPictureShow posted:

AITA for using my SILs garden flowers in my wedding bouquet

It's pronounced BUCKET!

Wait... What?

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:32

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

The couple are probably named Barnaby and Agatha, they went to Eton and Oxford, and they answer the phone like "hehleau", while the FIL is a semiretired plumber named Ralph, who displays his tradesman crack at every occasion.

Its fairly unlikely Agatha went to Eton tbh (boys only) :eng101:

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:45

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My GF 31 burned my nether regions 34m and my brother in law saw me naked. I�m mortified, how do I move on from this?

quote:

I�ve been with my GF for two years now. Love her dearly. We�ve been living together for a year and her brother is staying with us while we�re quarantining.

The other night my lovely GF decided to make a spicy dish for dinner which Included Chile�s and jalape�os. Her brother was with the next door neighbour so we had a little her and I time. We were drinking, having a good time, me and my partner decided to take the fun to the bedroom. We started foreplaying and I did my thing and then her hands started wondering....to my junk. It was feeling good and then all of a sudden, it got real spicy and it turned from feeling amazing to me yelling in pain. She realised she mustn�t have washed her hands properly and now whoosh, my wang was on fire.

She panicked and grabbed the glass of water next to the bed and shoved it over my junk.....note to others out there, boy howdy, it didn�t work. It ended up being hotter than a Palm Springs pool party in summer.

She said oh my god, we need milk, quickly let�s go the fridge.....I run out, sausage on fire, balls hanging out in hell with Satan and this woman pours out milk quickly into a glass and we plunge my goodies in the glass....we hear someone running into the kitchen, it�s her brother saying omg what�s wrong I heard yelling......

My partner jumps in front of me and the fridge and tries to conceal my body with the upper part of the fridge to hide this catastrophe. Instead she did it a little too hard, I had both hands on the nether parts, the fridge door bounced back knocked her in a weird angle, I tried to stop her from slipping, managed to do so with my free hand but the luck dried up there. I ended up slipping, milk went everywhere, her brother slid and fell next to me, love of my life is trying to preserve my dignity, she has her hand on the now upside down empty milk glass covering my penis (her hand is covering the top of the bottom for the glass, it�s see through so brilliant news there)

Her brother is now staring eye level with my wang and balls, My partner awkwardly says...so amigos.....we need more milk. Her brother says, I have so many questions, is there cookies for Santa, is he coming early? Im now frozen, no dignity left, I�m still on fire and I now have milk in nooks and crannies that it should never touch.

I slide across the floor, because why stand up like a normal person, that�s ludicrous. Let�s wiggle across the floor like a motion challenged centipede, yes that sounds like fun and hide in our bedroom for forever more.

My GF played your sex is on fire the next day for my alarm clock, fml.

I haven�t really spoken to my BIL, I�m mortified, what should I say besides hey sorry about that?

TD;LR: 31F girlfriend accidentally put my nether region on fire, we tried to cool it off, her brother walked in, super awkward, please help with how to approach him!

# ? Jul 26, 2020 16:45

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

DemoneeHo posted:

My GF 31 burned my nether regions 34m and my brother in law saw me naked. I�m mortified, how do I move on from this?

feel bad that dude's so uptight but gf and bil sound hilarious.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:03

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Puppy Time posted:

Generally speaking, in fairy tales it's the dad who's considered OK* and the mom is either dead or actively evil. Most of the stories with evil stepmothers were originally about evil mothers and the transcribers were like, "No, I don't think we can publish that."

*With the notable exception of Allerleirauh, where Mom dies and Dad is like, "WELP I GOTTA gently caress MY DAUGHTER NOW!"

Yeah, I might be thinking like... 90s to 00s sitcoms/kids movie subplots with an ultra lovely stepdad who wants to send the kids to military school?

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:12

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

So "my FIL eats mints like some kind of barbarian" is obviously Keeping Up Appearances, which sitcom is the ol' spicy junk tale from?

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:14

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

Sunswipe posted:

So "my FIL eats mints like some kind of barbarian" is obviously Keeping Up Appearances, which sitcom is the ol' spicy junk tale from?

i find the spicy junk tale to be extremely plausible tbh but maybe that's only because i've done it to myself like. too many times.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:16

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

DorkusMalorkus posted:

Broly is from Dragon Ball Z, I had to look it up. It's a really stupid name to give your kid. I guess if you MUST, you could make it his middle name. Jacob Broly Smith, it's stupid but at least it can be ignored.

Just add a second "l" and have people think he's heir to the British umbrella fortune.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:19

Woodchip: Mar 28, 2010

DemoneeHo posted:

My GF played your sex is on fire the next day for my alarm clock, fml.

That's a gd keeper there.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:19

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for telling my girlfriend her clown makeup is embarrassing?

quote:

My gf and I are both women. Since I was in highschool, I've been really into wearing makeup. When I have lots of time in the morning, I can spend an hour+ on my face. My girlfriend on the other hand is very anti-makeup. She thinks it's a tool of oppression/shouldn't be required of her to wear in public, etc.

Corona restrictions are opening up, and last week we got into an argument after I made us late to a friend's party by spending too long getting ready to leave the house. She blew up on me in the car, basically saying that I shouldn't even have to wear makeup, and I'm just perpetuating gender stereotypes. I said my makeup was a form of creative expression, and it wasn't just so I could "look pretty for men." She said it was really convenient that my form of creative expression happens to look exactly like what men find conventionally attractive.

We ended up apologizing to each other and I thought that was the end of it, but yesterday we were going out to grocery shop and my gf came out of the bathroom wearing a full face of facepaint. I told her she can't go to the grocery store looking like that, and she told me it was based off of a cirque du Soleil clown, and that she's showing a legitimate form of "creative expression." I told her if she went out like that I would be embarrassed to be seen with her and she called me a bitch. AITA?

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:52

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Piell posted:

AITA for taking my daughter�s violin away?

20 years older boyfriend, moves in after three months, immediately calling him her daughter's "stepfather". lol

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:52

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Propaniac posted:

My (31F) father-in-law (68M) does not respect us or our home at all.

Okay everybody, get ready for another horrible in-law who treats his kid and their spouse like garbage, I bet this is gonna be a doozy

...huh.

Edit:

Usually when I see that, it's from a woman who is expressing dissatisfaction with her absolutely terrible male partner and she's used to him treating her like she's a shrieking harpy, so she's trying to deflect that. Usually followed by "I don't want to be naggy."

I think I'd divorce someone this uptight. I hope her father in law starts helping himself to everything in the refrigerator and cupboards every time he comes over and her husband forbids her from saying anything so she can silently seethe with anger and live in a hell of her own construction.

DemoneeHo posted:

My GF 31 burned my nether regions 34m and my brother in law saw me naked. I’m mortified, how do I move on from this?

Dude is way too uptight. I hope his GF and her brother tease him mercilessly forever and ever. Like, why are you embarrassed about this? You weren't the one who handled hot peppers and then smeared the oil on your dick! It's a good bar story if you weren't such a burning weenie.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:53

Switchback: Jul 23, 2001

feedmegin posted:

Its fairly unlikely Agatha went to Eton tbh (boys only)

That must be why the sentence is written to imply Barnaby went to Eton and Agatha went to Oxford. :eng101:

DemoneeHo posted:

My GF 31 burned my nether regions 34m and my brother in law saw me naked. I�m mortified, how do I move on from this?

I hate the way this guy writes. Also who cares that much about other people seeing your ding dong, I just can�t relate to that level of modesty.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 17:54

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend her clown makeup is embarrassing?

Since I was in highschool,

it's weird for someone clearly still in highschool to write this way

# ? Jul 26, 2020 18:06

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend her clown makeup is embarrassing?

ESH, but mostly the OP for making them late because she couldn�t put down her drat eyeshadow. Makeup as a hobby is all well and good, but that�s just rude.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 18:22

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend her clown makeup is embarrassing?

Poison Ivy on Reddit?

# ? Jul 26, 2020 18:31

PhysicsFrenzy: May 30, 2011; this, too, is physics

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend her clown makeup is embarrassing?

lol the girlfriend owns

# ? Jul 26, 2020 18:55

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

That was not how I thought that was going.

I�m happy it did

# ? Jul 26, 2020 19:00

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

CharlestheHammer posted:

I mean mom sacrificing the child for her new man is depressingly common

Counterpoint: listening to someone practice an instrument can be incredibly annoying. You recognize the piece they're playing (if not right away then soon enough) but they'll be making mistakes. That's more distracting than them playing it right.

Source #1: my upstairs neighbor had a piano and once spent 4 hours on a Saturday practicing "This old man". They never quite got it right either. It was hour after hour of a wrong note on every loving bar, sometime more than one.

Source #2: I practice the violin and no, nobody else needs to hear that.

Everything else about the situation is hosed up and that kid will be gone like a shot at her first opportunity, but I can't blame him for a no-practicing rule when he's home.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 19:07

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

mllaneza posted:

Everything else about the situation is hosed up and that kid will be gone like a shot at her first opportunity, but I can't blame him for a no-practicing rule when he's home.

I can drat-well blame the mother for not saying "This is a special case, she has an audition coming up in an hour". Except that the mother doesn't even realize that practicing before an audition is a thing.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 19:17

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Yeah she wasn�t practicing for the hell ofit it was for something important.

Since this isn�t brought up I assume this is the first time she broke that rule

# ? Jul 26, 2020 19:22

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Piell posted:

AITA for taking my daughter�s violin away?
My daughter (15) and I (38) moved into my boyfriend�s (56) home a month ago. We�ve been dating since March and wanted to take the next step in our relationship.

She has locked herself in her room and calls her stepfather Hitler and doesn�t talk to me at all.

Just because you call the man you started dating 4 months ago daddy doesn't mean your daughter has to as well.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 19:39

PhysicsFrenzy: May 30, 2011; this, too, is physics

Getting into that fight immediately beforehand probably did not help with the audition, either :smith:

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

Just because you call the man you started dating 4 months ago daddy doesn't mean your daughter has to as well.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 19:44

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

mediaphage posted:

there's no real guarantee that the westermarck effect is real, but it has definitely spread out into popular media. equally valid is the research suggesting that humans are actually sexually attracted to kin and it's 'just' cultural biases that prevent action.

I don't doubt that societal norms have an influence, but the fact that basically everyone posting on r/relationships and AITA have grown up in societies that heavily taboo close-relationship incest, and the power dynamics of family means there's p much always going to be something wrong going on except in the case of being raised apart and oopsie. Not necessarily the kind of wrong where it has to be illegal, but in the story that sparked this, the other stuff going on was clearly, uh, criminal and repugnant.

At the person who said people in here were defending incest, I haven't seen that? Just people pointing out that the timeline and grooming was a bit more important in OP's specific case than just the incest.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 20:41

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

Just because you call the man you started dating 4 months ago daddy doesn't mean your daughter has to as well.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 20:53

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

PetraCore posted:

I don't doubt that societal norms have an influence, but the fact that basically everyone posting on r/relationships and AITA have grown up in societies that heavily taboo close-relationship incest,

The Westermarck effect may indeed be fictional, but every society thus encountered by anthropologists has some incest taboo, even though the specifics vary. It looks like a human universal.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 20:56

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016

mllaneza posted:

Counterpoint: listening to someone practice an instrument can be incredibly annoying. You recognize the piece they're playing (if not right away then soon enough) but they'll be making mistakes. That's more distracting than them playing it right.

I had a roommate who liked to sing, which is cool. I'd hear him singing to himself now and then and it was kind of whatever, no problem. One day he decided he wanted to sing staying alive though, and after a few hours of hearing the first two lines in semi falsetto I was ready to murder him.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 20:59

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:27

Puppy Time: Mar 1, 2005

PetraCore posted:

At the person who said people in here were defending incest, I haven't seen that? Just people pointing out that the timeline and grooming was a bit more important in OP's specific case than just the incest.

There seem to be a lot of people in general who take anything but immediate, disgusted condemnation of a thing as "defending" it.

This is probably just a side effect of all the "just asking questions" bigots poisoning the well, so it's hard to tell the difference between "I legit do not understand why this is bad and need it explained" and "I don't care why you think this is bad, I want people to agree with me and need to be removed like DJ Jazzy Jeff on Fresh Prince."

Re: Criticisms of the Westermarck Effect, I was just being pretty lazy for the sake of easy explaining to an average person. It seems truthy enough to me as a nonexpert. And, even if it's not a universal biological thing, it appears common enough to be generally applicable for the sake of this discussion.

I don't think there are a whole lot of cases of incest that are found to be emotionally healthy, outside of the "never knew we were family" type.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 21:01

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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