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A lot of brave Americans fought in World War II. You have to be brave, very brave, to win a battle like Kursk. Big battle, Kursk, one of the biggest, but we won. The German King Panthers would come over the hill and fire, their guns were very big, very bad news, but we held firm. "Bocage!" our soldiers would cry, which was how they warned each other that the big tanks -- very big, some of the biggest -- had been sighted.
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Aug 12, 2020 00:37
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:07 |
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The Spanish Flu ended WW2. And we won! Are we supposed to believe pandemics are bad things? 
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Aug 12, 2020 00:40
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im a big dumb loving baby who wears diapers and shits my pants, also World War 2
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Aug 12, 2020 00:43
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What do I know of this "Hitler" fellow? What do YOU know of this "Hitler" fellow huh? Nobody knows. Nobody. What a fellow.
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Aug 12, 2020 00:43
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i am the embodiment of hate and ignorance and i keep getting fatter every day my own battle of the bulge
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Aug 12, 2020 00:46
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Further, let's put it this way: Germany is like Hitler's house, and it is rich with twinkies and natural deposits of X-Boxes. What would you do if someone came into your house and stole your X-Boxes and twinkies? Or if, you know, there were certain people who had demonstrated a propensity to probably stealing your x-boxes and twinkies and were on your property, what is justifiable?
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Aug 12, 2020 00:50
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Many people are saying we lost. That we lost the war. But we won, folks. You were there. We were there. The generals were all there, just the best, the best generals and the biggest... and they all agreed! They came to me and said "sir, sir! It was so dangerous, sir, the war. But we won, sir." And we did. We did. Some people of course didn't make it and that's no good. We're looking into that still to see what happened, folks, because we need people who don't get lost to win wars against... Some people call them Nazis, I personally think that's a little strong, maybe they're Nazis, maybe they're not, who knows? But we need to defeat them. Take em out! Is what I told the generals, and they said "sir we've already won against them sir" and we did. We did. But some say they're still out there, who knows.
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Aug 12, 2020 00:58
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the holocaust - and this is the first ive heard about this - but the holocaust - i don't think it happened. the hitler i knew, and i knew him well. great man. great ideas. heard he only had one ball if you can believe that but he's a just a terrific guy *intern whispers in trumps ear* i never really knew hitler too well but they're saying awful, awful things about what went on over there. i don't know. never met the guy
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Aug 12, 2020 01:21
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maybe many jews died in the powerful holocaust, but i'm not so sure. many people are saying this.
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Aug 12, 2020 01:53
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you have a very big, powerful army, in the form of hitler. and then on the other side you have england.
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Aug 12, 2020 01:53
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These Germans think they can beat America? That's a big mistake. Angela Merkel, she's a nasty woman, but you know what that's ok. No, that's ok because we have nuclear weapons. Have you heard of these? Big bombs. Biggest bombs the world has ever built. Many experts have told me that America has the biggest bombs. So that's what we're gonna do.
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Aug 12, 2020 01:56
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This World War 2 is not very groovy baby yeah. Not very shagadelic.
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Aug 12, 2020 02:03
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We're closely following the terrible events unfolding in Auschwitz. We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry, and violence - on many sides, on many sides.
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Aug 12, 2020 02:11
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"It was a business trip."
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Aug 12, 2020 02:11
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Gina War
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Aug 12, 2020 02:12
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We have the biggest bombs, in terms of war, that Japan has ever seen. Very friendly people, the Japanese. You know I met the Emperor? Burrito? Tiny man. Very nice. But we blew 'em up! Many people are asking if we have more bombs and I say sure, sure. We really do, and we have the top people making them every day. Scientists. American workers make the bombs that we sent...Did you know the Japanese were very sneaky? I mean that. Nice people, wonderful people, ok? But sneaky. And I tell people that's why we had to bomb them so badly.
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Aug 12, 2020 02:13
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You know who was the hero of WWII, John Wayne, I've seen heaps of beautiful footage of him in WWII, he's a big fan of me, always has been, everyone knows it. The do-nothing Democrats wanted to stop John from winning WWII.
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Aug 12, 2020 02:19
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Things that are bad in order worst to slightly less worst: 1) Trump impressions 2) Trump himself
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Aug 12, 2020 02:21
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we had a guy at last week's rally saying his grandfather died in that war, he died, he fell out of a guard tower in germany. very sad story. but it's a war, well. it's what war is. and we can do it again.
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Aug 12, 2020 02:25
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Jeffrey Dahmer posted:Things that are bad in order worst to slightly less worst:
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Aug 12, 2020 02:36
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If sneaky, slippery manbaby Hirohito thinks he can take on the USA, I've got news for him! (Jan 1935) I went to see a Noh play once. I was bored. You know they don't cook fish, right? They eat it all raw. That's, that's what they do. The emperors spent so much on lookalikes they didn't have anything left on the poison-tasting budget. So they just fired the chef. I’ve known Adolf for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Adolf enjoys his social life.
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Aug 12, 2020 02:53
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Big Beef City posted:We have the biggest bombs, in terms of war, that Japan has ever seen. Very friendly people, the Japanese. You know I met the Emperor? Burrito? Tiny man. Very nice. But we blew 'em up! Many people are asking if we have more bombs and I say sure, sure. We really do, and we have the top people making them every day. Scientists. American workers make the bombs that we sent...Did you know the Japanese were very sneaky? I mean that. Nice people, wonderful people, ok? But sneaky. And I tell people that's why we had to bomb them so badly. That's a finely marbled cut of standup material right there. Throw it on the grill with a splash of assertive delivery and you're bringing down the house.
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Aug 12, 2020 08:15
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"I had a nice long conversation with Hitler on the phone, and I was very impressed with his leadership. He assured me that he is working on banking reforms and I support his methods" -Trump
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Aug 12, 2020 08:18
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the media’s treated hitler very unfairly. very unfair. almost as unfairly as they’ve treated me. can you believe it? steve here knows exactly what I’m talking about. I see you steve. but we’ve been doing a bunch of big, a bunch of great things and I think you’ll be very surprised to see what’s coming up in november. or maybe you won’t. that’s for the American people to decide but all I can say is everyone’s doing a terrific job in our administration. take a look at the poll numbers. the majority of Americans think we’re doing great work. all the time people come up to me and say, my business is thriving for the first time in years. thank you me president. actually Hitler would kill for our poll numbers but it’s a terrible situation over there and some people are calling it president obamas biggest failure
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Aug 12, 2020 09:50
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One time I was throwing up a double cheeseburger and sneezed and some brains came out of my mouth but no cheeseburger puke did.
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Aug 12, 2020 10:23
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"Very fine people on both sides"
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Aug 12, 2020 11:28
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There's a guy named Hitler, okay? And he's... they call him the Further, because he has taken the country of Germany much further than anyone thought possible. Which is incredible, quite frankly, that's a country that was doing VERY POORLY after, you know, after the... but the numbers were not good, and now? He's made the numbers much better, incredibly better. It's really something to see, I mean... he has his fans, I'll say that, a lot of people think he's doing an incredible job in a lot of ways, and I suppose there are some who don't believe that. But you know, I know all about that, I have critics of my own. I call 'em the FAKE NEWS, and I think Hitler knew a thing or two about that, in his own way. But the FAKE NEWS will never report this, never talk about. So nobody knows it. But actually, actually? There was another country in Japan, although it's one you might not think of. It's called Japan, the islands of Japan, who we have a pretty incredible relationship with now, don't we? But back then? NOT SO MUCH. Not so good. But we dropped some bombs, we bomb the hell out of them, we dropped bombs on Tokyo and HEE-ROSS-SHE-MAH and blew the hell out of that country. And now? Now they make some incredible cars, they do a thing they call the bowling ball test on these cars and it makes them the most incredible cars, nobody knows this but it's true. So we're looking at doing the bowling ball test over here, very strongly.
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Aug 12, 2020 13:50
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*violently shits pants so hard it breaks a hole in the pants and sprays poo and diarrhea all over the podium background* "Hitler was a man and he -" *another wave of poo poo turns the whole cloth into shades of brown and yellow* "and you can't really blame" *loud farts drown out all other sounds* "And I say: Mission accomplished!" *proudly raises fist and walks out of the press conference*
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Aug 12, 2020 14:11
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My buddy PUTIN told me that Russia won the world war two and not America. I'm a bad president.
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Aug 12, 2020 14:46
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Folks, back in World War eye-eye or W2 as some people are calling it, you had the big, strong burly men go overseas. Some, they say, went to GINA and never returned but most went to Germany, and it’s a terrible thing, tremendous loss for the Germans but also a great triumph for them. So many died, all of them in fact. The Jews. Where’s my Jews? I see you, Jared. Stand up, please. So the Jews died in the shower and then we dropped a Fat Man on Japan. No one had ever done this before. Incredible, from the standpoint of nookular power. And? And, there was a little boy too, he cried with tears in his eyes as he fell, much like the little boys and girls who used to live on that beautiful island with my great friend Jeffery. Have you heard about Rosie? The Riveter? Wow! Love the Rosie and love the Rivets. All the men were gone, did you know this? No men, and Rosie did all the jobs, almost as good as the men until she got sick from the CHINA VIRUS in 1917 and that ended the Great War, as it’s known today.
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Aug 12, 2020 15:28
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Hitler one time fed deer. Would you also feed deer? The answer is clear, people.
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Aug 12, 2020 15:32
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Those nazis, they were the bad guys. Real bad guys. But they did great things. Look at their economy, their economy was second to none! But yeah, bad guys, that's the horror cost, right? The terrible toll the people paid to make that machine work, the horror cost we always talk about. That's why we had to fight them. It had nothing to do with japan, and we had to fight japan too, but we had to fight germany. So we did it! America saved France and saved Hawaii, that's why they joined our great union. Great things, we did in world war 2, great things. We had the biggest army with the most courage, and we did great things. The Normandy beach landings, we did that. Iwo Jima, we did that. Great moments of american triumph, on display for the world to see. America... America is the hero. We're the good guys. The world's hero.
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Aug 12, 2020 15:35
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We built a bomb, an incredible bomb from the standpoint of explosions, which we called the ADAM BOMB, after the man from the bible. He was the first man and this was the first bomb in a lot of ways, the first real bomb besides things like fireworks and others. And we had the bomb and they built it, some great minds built that bomb, and actually? ACTUALLY? My great uncle worked on the bomb. And as a little boy I saw him working on the bomb and I said "What is this?" And my uncle, who never cried a day in his life, he had tears in his eyes. And this was a big guy, big strong scientist guy straight out of central casting. But he said "Sir, it's the Adam Bomb. And we're working on the Eve Bomb next." And I asked why we had it, why we didn't use it to end the war, end the second World War which is a... it's actually not the 2nd time we fought a war, in fact. There's a lesser known war we fought against the British, but it's very important to us, isn't it? It's where we won our freedom, we became the United Stateshhhh on that cold day back centuries ago. But I asked about the bomb and my Uncle said "Sir, we never thought about it before. We never thought of dropping the bomb." So, you know, they dropped the bomb and things were very bad for a while and then very good. And that's where we are today, thanks to Adam. I don't... I think we still have Eve somewhere, I don't think they ever dropped her. They talk a lot about Fat Man and Little Boy, who were the code names for Winston Churchill and the other man, the President at the time... JFK... because he was in the wheel chair of course. I think I would have easily ended that war without the bomb, but what.... that's something to think about, isn't it? Maybe Japan would still be with us today if that was true.
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Aug 12, 2020 15:41
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Who wouldn't bomb the japs???
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Aug 12, 2020 16:45
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You know, World War Eleven was a big war, one of the biggest. And we won (gestures toward flag) and it was NO THANKS to Joe Biden and the extremists in the Democratic party. Eleven world wars and the United States won them all. It's humbling to think about all of those dictators, Churchill, the French guy, maybe Castro. It's all there in the history books.
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Aug 13, 2020 00:47
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A Fancy Hat posted:We built a bomb, an incredible bomb from the standpoint of explosions, which we called the ADAM BOMB, after the man from the bible. He was the first man and this was the first bomb in a lot of ways, the first real bomb besides things like fireworks and others. Good lord I actually pictured him saying all of this
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Aug 13, 2020 04:04
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MakaVillian posted:Good lord I actually pictured him saying all of this A Fancy Hat has a true gift for channeling our big wetly president
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Aug 13, 2020 05:56
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Hitler? Great guy. Terrific guy. I hear he likes beautiful women. Some say as much as I do. I. Very very I.
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Aug 13, 2020 08:04
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:07 |
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I remember how we beat the Germans, we used the big bomb, we called it the Manhattan Project. You know, I know a lot about Manhattan projects, like how I designed and built Trump Tower, greatest building project in Manhattan, no, the world. Such a big and beautiful building, and I think it would have stopped the war just as much as the bomb, the Nazis would have seen it and be so amazed at what I did. They'll go to me and say "Mr. Trump how can we build such a great thing?", and I'll tell them that they have to stop the war and then we'll build great buildings together. Also, Japan, they went to war with China I heard. Then I think they were losing and came up to us and asked us for protection, they begged America to place their army there and then we beat China and they kept asking us to stay there because they were so worried, they were not a very strong nation then you see. So that's how we stayed in Japan and you know they still don't pay us enough for it! I think that's what happened in Korea too, they're also next to China and they've got a history of aggression and trade manipulation. Can you believe it, we're the ones footing the bill to keep China in check with our troops and we're still losing the trade war. No more folks, it ends now!
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Aug 19, 2020 01:23
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