Mikl posted:

When you eat with someone, you wait to take the first bite until everyone is seated at the table and ready to begin. It's just good manners.

quote:

This happened 3 years ago. But recent events have brought it back to light.

After 1 year of dating, my (31f) sister (23f) finally introduced us to her boyfriend (32m).

Major red flags all through dinner. Dude turns out to be my sisters CO in the national guard. He keeps talking about his kids, and how my sister hasn’t met them yet and how he lives with his folks about an hour away so he can only see my sister on weekends.

About a week goes by and things still feel wrong. I decide to google the guy after our mom brings up how she thinks he’s married. Sure as poo poo. Dude has a wife, 3 kids under 10 and a picture perfect Facebook life.

I bring it up to my sister and she tells me she knows about it, gets all pissed off for being in her business and tells me to drop it after saying they’re really separated but staying married for military benefits.

Another week goes by and I feel awful. So, I call the wife (her phone # is listed on FB). We talked for a few minutes and I ask a few questions about her husband. She confirms they’re married, confirms he lives there, and basically she’s a happy housewife who’s husband travels for guard work every weekend.

I told her I’d met her husband through my sister (no names or identifying info) who introduced him as her boyfriend. I told her they’d been seeing each other for over a year, sent a photo I’d taken during dinner, and apologized for being the one to drop that bomb in her lap. I told her as a wife, I really hope someone would do the same for me if the roles were reversed and I truly mean it.

She was sobbing, heartbroken and furious.

Dude called my sister pissed saying one of her siblings had told. She immediately sent me a text stating we are no longer family, I’m an awful person and I ruined both their lives by telling his wife. My mom and other sister joined in on the disowning saying I’m a home wrecker and need to mind my own business, my sister is an adult, and able to make her own decisions.

No one is willing to listen when I say, I didn’t do it to get my sister in “trouble”. I purposely left her info out of it. I just don’t understand the point of cheating, especially with young kids at home. Just the idea of STDs gets me, along with the lack of respect, trust and everything else.

In all, my whole family stopped talking to me. My mom and sisters were texting my husband about how toxic I am, and how he needs to send me to a mental health hospital but he put a stop to that right away.

Was it really so wrong of me to tell the wife? My friends have been super supportive, but my family blocked me from everything. My mom won’t even talk to my kids (her only grandkids) because they’re going to be toxic like me.

Miss posted:

I called the wife of the guy my sister is seeing

MarcusSA posted:

I dunno the cheating sucks but like maybe she should mind her own business. It kinda seems like there is more going on here if her whole family is cutting her out over this one thing. I dunno.

MarcusSA posted:

I dunno the cheating sucks but like maybe she should mind her own business. It kinda seems like there is more going on here if her whole family is cutting her out over this one thing. I dunno.

quote:

My step dad passed away. My sisters are half sisters. I’ve had no contact with any family in 3 years, my step dad even longer.

They text me that he was ill. Offered to keep me updated. Said he was getting better. No contact for a week, so I reached out and asked why they stopped the updates. Minor argument where I’m making everything about me and playing victim. Then he died, because he wasn’t actually getting better. They’d used the week of silence to travel together to his home and looked for a will.

They offered to let me know about funeral arrangements, but not to participate. Didn’t list me as family in the death notice. And want me to chip in for funeral costs. They also have a go fund me asking for $100,000 for funeral costs, financial support for his daughter and financial support for my sisters.

My step dad was abusive from when I was 6 to when I moved out at 18. I want nothing to do with him, don’t want his assets, and haven’t spoken to him in over 10 years. From the sound of things, my siblings were able to form a relationship with him after going NC with me. And I’m happy for them. Everyone should have the chance to feel loved by their father. He made it very clear that he didn’t want me, and I wasn’t a daughter to him. When we found out he was sick, my husband and I talked and agreed if for some reason he had listed me to inherit, I’d put the money in an account for his young daughter (he’s remarried again with an under 10 daughter) and give her access at 18. My husband and I are financially sound, our kids are young but have savings accounts, and while we could always “use” extra money, I wouldn’t feel right accepting it from someone who made me feel unlovable and unworthy growing up.

My husband says he thinks this is just another form of punishment to get back at me for calling the wife 3 years ago. There was no reason to call me, other than to mess with my mental health. And it worked. I’ve been a mess all week. My husband took 3 days off to hang out and remind me that it’s not me. But he loves me and while he’s really good at calling me out when I do or say something stupid, he’s got blinders when it comes to me and I need objectivity.

After reading all the comments, even the negative, I still feel what I did was right and even knowing the outcome, I’d do it again. I also can see that the last 3 years have been amazing without them, and I need to work extra hard right now to keep them far far away from my husband, my kids, and everything I’ve worked hard for.

Miss posted:

Miss posted:

pentyne posted:

It seems like way more then just basic manners, this guy is speed eating pasta out of a saucepan while standing over a sink.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA: For calling my pregnant wife unreasonable for wanting to name our son after her deceased boyfriend?

Porfiriato posted:

She's never looked closely enough to notice that her boyfriend is actually five raccoons dressed in a trenchcoat.

Mikl posted:

When you eat with someone, you wait to take the first bite until everyone is seated at the table and ready to begin. It's just good manners.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

It is a given that you would never seat exactly 13 people.

lumpentroll posted:

raccoons take the time to wet their food for that sweet hand feel

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

Danaru posted:

Whistleblowing on cheaters is always a good thing, and as a bonus her lovely toxic family went no contact. Win/win as far as I can tell

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I like to quote our local Emily Post equivalent about table manners, but my absolute favorite is that you should wait to eat until everyone is served and seated for a party of 12 or fewer, but it's fair to start eating as soon as you're served for a party of 14 or more. It is a given that you would never seat exactly 13 people.

Danaru posted:

Whistleblowing on cheaters is always a good thing, and as a bonus her lovely toxic family went no contact. Win/win as far as I can tell

Martman posted:

When you eat a sandwich in three bites at super speed doesn't it like, go down a lot harder? I'd expect to get a shitton of heartburn and stuff if I barely actually chew my food.

pentyne posted:

It seems like way more then just basic manners, this guy is speed eating pasta out of a saucepan while standing over a sink.

pentyne posted:

This guy however is shotgunning the food as fast as he can and arguing its more efficient. No amount of finishing school lessons or decorum explanations are going to help him he needs some sort of therapy.

Sillybones posted:

He was clearly raised by wolves and still feels the need to eat as fast as possible before the rest of the pack gets it all.

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

YOU ARE HURTING MY FEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLINNGGGGGSSSSSSS.

Also gently caress you for telling me I should be on medication for my opinion on small tits. I guess you are saying that all girls with small tits are pieces of poo poo and anyone who dates anyone with less that EE cups is unbreedable or some poo poo.

MarcusSA posted:

Yeah she shouldn’t have gotten involved and definitely have cut all of them out of her life 3+ years ago.

That family is toxic as gently caress.

quote:

Yesterday my brother came to visit us for dinner. We have a baby Yoda figurine on our dinner table and left and right salt and pepper.

For some reason my girlfriend calls baby Yoda meatball. And when she asks me for the salt she will go "will you ask meatball if he can reach me the salt?". It's something silly and funny.

Well my brother didn't think so. When my gf did the salt bit he first laughed and then he legit started to get worked up. His arguments were that 1)he had already a name, 2)meatball was demeaning (3)that she was making fun of the Fandom.

My girlfriend looked at him and said something along the lines of "call down dude. It's just fun. Don't be ridiculous about this". She was more like laughing it off because.... It was a ridiculous discussion.

Well he snapped. He called her a disrespectful bubble headed bimbo. So I told him to leave and not come back before he apologized. He said that I was unfair because she started disrespecting him first. I don't see it.

AITA

Soylent Pudding posted:

She's the rear end in a top hat for not informing the appropriate service that an officer was having an affair with a subordinate under his command.

Anyways:
AITA for telling my brother he can't come back before he apologized to my girlfriend for calling her a bubble head because she calls baby Yoda meatball?

quote:

So I(20F) is talking to this guy(23M). We’ve had sex and everything. He has common warts on his hand, some of which he had frozen. He’s had them since he was a child. He says they’re not contagious, but I saw warts can be super contagious. So far I haven’t seen any warts arise on my skin. After reading up about warts, I want to stop talking to him and end any sexual relationship. Is it wrong that I don’t want to engage in sexual relationship with him anymore. What should I tell him?

TLDR: Guy I’m talking to has warts on his hands, and it’s a turn off for me. I want to end whatever we had going on.

Soylent Pudding posted:

She's the rear end in a top hat for not informing the appropriate service that an officer was having an affair with a subordinate under his command.

Anyways:
AITA for telling my brother he can't come back before he apologized to my girlfriend for calling her a bubble head because she calls baby Yoda meatball?

quote:

NTA

One, I love your girlfriend's nickname for Baby Yoda... How did that come to be?

Uh. Your brother's passion is a little bizarre. It's not like he was debating a finer point of nerd fandom at a convention, it was a nickname for a figurine. Does he do that often? Or is he 12? Does he not do social queues well?

OP posted:

I actually don't know. She bought the figurine slammed it on the table and pointed to it saying "meatball"

No he is 26. He is a bit of an oddball but this was a first

quote:

My 23 f sister who I'll call carrie 29 has always had a relaxed approach to parenting ?
For example she's already allowed her eldest to read through and study a human body book for kids above his age range.

Personally when I have kids I'll be following an entirely different approach such as no screen time before a certain age and definitely no sex education too young ( I'm all for sexual education just not until late teens when it's appropriate)

Yesterday I came by my sisters house and she wasn't home as she'd gone grocery shopping, it was just her husband tom who's 30, sitting with the kids watching a film called insidious......

Now I was completely gobsmacked that they were all sat watching what I consider an extremely graphic horror. I asked tom if he wanted to give them nightmares and he just laughed and said that they have a system.

I left at this point as I was just dropping off some things our mom had passed along.

I text carrie as soon as I left to see if she knew tom was letting then watch r rated content.

She called me straight away and the conversation basically went like this.

Me: hey I was just really shocked that tom let's them watch that stuff it will traunatize them, remember when I saw the grudge when we were kids? And I barely slept for months and had nightmares for years!

Carrie: aww I'm sorry but we're a huge horror fan family, I thought you knew that! We have a system don't worry, before every film we give a vague outline of what monsters are involved.

Most of the time both boys are extremely eager to watch with us, and then after we watch the film we make them watch a making of video on YouTube so they can see none of it's real and that the monsters are all makeup and cgi.

Me: they're kids carrie! It doesn't matter what knowledge they have you'll traumatize them!

Carrie: they boys rarely have nightmares and I mean very very rarely and it's usually unrelated to the movies, they always ask to see how the monsters were made after the film and they have never cried, I wouldn't let that happen!

At this point I hung up in frustration, I called our mom and asked her opinion, and she was conflicted but she hates getting involved in conflict and usually stays neutral.

Word got back to tom that i reported him to our mom and to carrie and he wasn't too happy about it, but for context some of the films the boys have seen are.

Insidious Hereditary A quiet place Quiet Orphan The ring 1 and 2

My dad thinks I'm being, in his words ( a nosey cow) and even though she won't say it outright I know my mom thinks the same.

AITA for trying to sheild my nephews from this insane parenting

gloom posted:

Huh, that's a neat bit of trivia. Yeah it's the same point

Funktastic posted:

AITA for telling my sister her kids( 5m )and( 8m )are far too young for horror films?

Piell posted:

AITA for getting annoyed at my boyfriend if he doesn’t wait to eat the first bite of a meal at the exact same time as me?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my brother he can't come back before he apologized to my girlfriend for calling her a bubble head because she calls baby Yoda meatball?

Puppy Time posted:

I would like to know why you think cheating husband's wife deserves to live in ignorance while the person she married blatantly violates her trust.