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reignofevil posted:So one thing worth noting is Dumbledore is helping Sirius at this time keep away from the law. This is arguably something he did that isn't making him more of an rear end in a top hat for doing it. Dumbledore, a man who is shown in the past and future setting up safehouses effortlessly, makes Sirius live in a cave for a year
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Oct 8, 2020 07:40
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He also provides Sirius with zero provisions, so when Harry and friends go to meet him they bring Sirius a bunch of food from the Great Hall because apparently he's been subsisting on rats for months.
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Oct 8, 2020 07:44
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reignofevil posted:A week ago maybe more I said never forget voldemort is really dumb, some time maybe I hit onto his perspective in all of this and we can go over how colossally monumentally stupid he is at basically all times. It is at least flat out said by Dumbledore that Voldemort is a massive loving drama queen, when Harry suggests that he could have just made a Horcrux out of say a random rock in a quarry It's a pretty common fantasy thing when prophecy and destiny and plots and schemes and magic loopholes get involved that the entire plot essentially runs on luck and idiocy
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Oct 8, 2020 09:57
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Voldemort choosing to put his soul fragments in significant artifacts is pretty far down the list of dumbs things he did. It's actually a very believable "normal" thing you'd expect a psychopathic serial killer to do. I'm more annoyed by how Harry explained for 50 pages that he - Voldemort - could not succeed and then Voldemort attacked him anyway and died.
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Oct 8, 2020 10:11
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Voldemort chooses to live as a wizard lobster for an extra year because he likes the aesthetic significance of getting Harry Potter in to do his blood transfusion/he's extremely concerned that the book one hot-hands-face-pain plan will get him again.
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Oct 8, 2020 10:46
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josh04 posted:Voldemort chooses to live as a wizard lobster for an extra year because he likes the aesthetic significance of getting Harry Potter in to do his blood transfusion/he's extremely concerned that the book one hot-hands-face-pain plan will get him again. It's both really, he's a megalomaniac narcissist sociopath and all, Voldemort is literally his edgy OC name that's also an anagram
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Oct 8, 2020 10:57
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Hang on a minute, who do we know who sees themselves as a lobster and spent a period of time having lost all their powers, attended to only by a malevolent follower in a remote location in eastern europe? Harry Potter didn't kill Voldemort, his all-meat diet did.
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Oct 8, 2020 11:08
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Also gotta love that the standard prison guards are literal soul-sucking abominations who will attempt to rape-murder children at the slightest excuse and the government and media cover up how they immediately join the nazis en masse
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Oct 8, 2020 12:04
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In todays edition of It makes sense in the first half of the series because it's a whimsical children story. Dumbledore's (and every other adult's) erratic and illogical behavior makes sense as the story is told from the perspective of a young child to a readership of young children, a period of life where the actions of authority figures make no sense and no one tells you what the hell is going on.
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Oct 8, 2020 12:09
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galagazombie posted:a period of life where the actions of authority figures make no sense and no one tells you what the hell is going on. is this supposed to end at some point
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Oct 8, 2020 12:29
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reignofevil posted:How could dumbledore possibly figure out Sirius didn't blow up that square of people I mean all he has access to is a time machine and a magical device that lets him see people's memories. This was anyone's mistake to make. Plus sirius definitely cheated dumbledore at poker. The best part about this is that Dumbledore's the Supreme Mugwump, which was basically supposed to be the Wizard Chief Justice, iirc. He totally had the clout to push for a fair trial for Sirius, but somehow didn't do so. reignofevil posted:Instead Harry is just being sent to fly around on his broom against a dragon (and brooms fly at variable speed based on money spent on faster models! Poor kids just get eaten for this challenge!) and then he gets sent down into a lake to be eaten by mer people and then he has to explore a death maze and Dumbledore is like "Well I'm sure in between studying for his regular classes he can practice spells two years ahead of his level and also prepare to fight dragons and manticores and stuff. No need to take any special hand here at all." Crouch Jr.'s rant to Harry at the end was amazing because it highlights how the other champions got help from their own headmasters, while Dumbledore totally didn't have Harry's back because it's not fair or in the spirit of the rules. Sydin posted:Also at least in the books Dumbledore just straight up spanks Voldy, sends him running home with his tail between his legs with minimal effort. Kinda negates the whole "I couldn't just duel him because he is actually a stronger wizard then me!" excuse. It's funny, because even if you somehow accept that Dumbledore couldn't just duel Voldemort because of Reasons, it doesn't excuse Dumbledore never bothering to train Harry. His whole plan hinges on a kid killing an extremely powerful evil wizard, you'd think he would bother teaching Harry how to duel and poo poo. Harry faced Voldemort at the end of his first year, so that would have been the moment Dumbledore sat up and realized that maybe it'd be a good idea to teach the kid how to loving defend himself.
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Oct 8, 2020 17:46
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The secret bad guy in Book 1 was the guy wearing a turban.
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Oct 8, 2020 20:46
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amigolupus posted:Crouch Jr.'s rant to Harry at the end was amazing because it highlights how the other champions got help from their own headmasters, while Dumbledore totally didn't have Harry's back because it's not fair or in the spirit of the rules. It's also funny because he sounds off on Harry for being a lazy, entitled dipshit who would have gone into all three challenges with no plan or knowledge of what to expect without Crouch Jr. bending over backwards to lend him help. And yeah: he's absolutely right. The second challenge is the most egregious example where even after Harry learned he'd have to go underwater (which he learned from a puzzle he naturally put off solving for ages and couldn't figure out on his own anyway until Cedric all but fed him the answer) he just... doesn't do anything except make a half-hearted attempt or two at reading some books and then just goes "eh, maybe I'll figure something out." Like if Crouch Jr. hadn't used Dobby to feed Harry some gillyweed, Harry's second challenge performance would have been him wading around in the lake for a couple minutes before coming back onto shore and curling up into a ball while three schools worth of students laughed at him.
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Oct 8, 2020 21:53
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As long as we’re mentioning Voldemort’s ineptness as well, as least he’s able to point the thumb and not the finger. Was reading the first chapter of TDH to my daughter last night and he specifically mentions to the Death Eaters he needs to do better with killing Harry and admits he’s blown it a few times. Maaaaaaybe you could read it a bit, I dunno, sarcastically? but he puts it out there.
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Oct 8, 2020 22:06
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Whilst I appreciate the effort that our fearless leader went through when he put up a board in my mansion that reads "days since I got murdered by a baby" I can't help but think it's hurting morale a bit.
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Oct 8, 2020 22:47
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Zesty posted:The secret bad guy in Book 1 was the guy wearing a turban. I know Quirrell in the movie was played by a white guy, but did Rowling made a racist retcon about him? Sydin posted:It's also funny because he sounds off on Harry for being a lazy, entitled dipshit who would have gone into all three challenges with no plan or knowledge of what to expect without Crouch Jr. bending over backwards to lend him help. And yeah: he's absolutely right. The second challenge is the most egregious example where even after Harry learned he'd have to go underwater (which he learned from a puzzle he naturally put off solving for ages and couldn't figure out on his own anyway until Cedric all but fed him the answer) he just... doesn't do anything except make a half-hearted attempt or two at reading some books and then just goes "eh, maybe I'll figure something out." Like if Crouch Jr. hadn't used Dobby to feed Harry some gillyweed, Harry's second challenge performance would have been him wading around in the lake for a couple minutes before coming back onto shore and curling up into a ball while three schools worth of students laughed at him. The second task was such a monumental gently caress-up on Harry's part that I'm surprised Crouch Jr. hadn't just murdered Harry during those months out of sheer frustration. Like, the main reason it took Harry ages to figure out the egg clue was because he got jealous that Cedric was going out with Cho and decided that was the best time to ignore the guy's advice, to the point Harry had like a couple weeks left to figure out how to survive underwater. Crouch Jr. already planted the clue about Gillyweed by giving Neville a book about magical plants months ago, but it was all wasted because Harry never even considered asking his other friends for help. And even with the Gillyweed, Harry very nearly died from drowning anyway and almost hosed up both Dumbledore and Voldemort's plans for him. Because apparently no one even bothered to tell him that the hostages were totally safe and just under magical sleep, so he shouldn't have hosed around and just saved his own hostage.
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Oct 8, 2020 23:40
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iirc Quirrel has strong "white guy wearing a turban" energy in the book too but it's been a while
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Oct 9, 2020 01:06
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White guy wearing a turban sure, but it also comes across as very "a white British person who zero information on things that aren't white Britain wrote this"
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Oct 9, 2020 01:31
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Let's not quirrel over this
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Oct 9, 2020 01:55
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Quirrel is white and he wears the turban because he is evil.
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Oct 9, 2020 02:41
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Well, to be fair, he also has a man's face growing out of the back of his head.
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Oct 9, 2020 02:42
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Dumbledore's plan
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Oct 9, 2020 03:01
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Also gotta love that the standard prison guards are literal soul-sucking abominations who will attempt to rape-murder children at the slightest excuse and the government and media cover up how they immediately join the nazis en masse when you put it like that it sounds pretty realistic
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Oct 9, 2020 03:08
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Quirrel has a definite "Had a 'Life-changing experience' on holiday" vibe about him; He's been back from Jamaica for two weeks but he's still wearing his hair in dreads and saying "irie" a lot. It's making other people in the office uncomfortable.Sydin posted:Imagine thinking you're fooling anybody with an adult cover version of Harry Potter. Like come I can see you sitting there reading an enormous 700 page doorstop with big, kid-friendly font, I know what you're reading bro. They were actually pretty well done  (I bought this at my college bookstore circa 2004; it was in the bargain bin and I wanted a copy where phrases like "Philosopher's Stone" and "Jumper" weren't bastardized for my pathetic American mind) It's a fairly slim volume, definitely thinner than the American paperback. I'm sure the later books get bulky, but are still just "reasonable paperback" bulky.  I just looked at the back cover and saw this critic's quote...if only they knew, these mythical "thirty something book-lovers" would instead just be smugly reading and smugly discussing the same seven books with each other, forever 
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Oct 9, 2020 03:16
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That has certainly aged
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Oct 9, 2020 03:55
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I mean, what stands out tome about that quote is that they are acting like HP is sort of niche. They're saying HP fans will use lingo that they and their nerd circle will understand and nobody else. Bu HP blew up and i bet most people know what Quidditch is now even if they never read any of the books.
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Oct 9, 2020 04:12
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NikkolasKing posted:I mean, what stands out tome about that quote is that they are acting like HP is sort of niche. They're saying HP fans will use lingo that they and their nerd circle will understand and nobody else. Yes, all the quotes are like "Hey, this lovely kid's book is pretty engaging - for a lovely kid's book!" If the reviews got into "All books will be this in a few years; everything will be about a special but different teenager grappling with some kind of power." territory, they didn't make it to the blurb roundup. Re: Most people knowing Quidditch; remember the SA classic "Who is Homer Simpson?" I'd like to see a "Who is Harry Potter?" What does the average schmuck know about The Boy Who Lived; would my parents know more or less about the series than the dipshit kids who called it "Harry Pothead" when it was in the zeitgeist with their peers?
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Oct 9, 2020 06:02
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Miss posted:White guy wearing a turban sure, but it also comes across as very "a white British person who zero information on things that aren't white Britain wrote this" Harry's school years took place in the 90s, right? Quirrell should have said he went to America and just worn a baseball cap backwards to hide Voldemort's face. Oh man, I just remembered the detail that Quirrell's turban smelled strongly of garlic because of his cover story that he was afraid of vampires. Voldemort spent the better part of a year being forced to reek of garlic. That poo poo should've destroyed all of his Dark Lord credentials. 
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Oct 9, 2020 12:12
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Speaking of Quirrell, I really love the part of Wizard People, Dear Reader where the narrator gets to the face reveal and just freaks out.
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Oct 9, 2020 15:04
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amigolupus posted:Harry's school years took place in the 90s, right? Quirrell should have said he went to America and just worn a baseball cap backwards to hide Voldemort's face. Voldemort doesn't have a nose, he couldn't smell it.
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Oct 9, 2020 16:15
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JethroMcB posted:Yes, all the quotes are like "Hey, this lovely kid's book is pretty engaging - for a lovely kid's book!" If the reviews got into "All books will be this in a few years; everything will be about a special but different teenager grappling with some kind of power." territory, they didn't make it to the blurb roundup. Quizzing someone who never read or watched the movies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ClloDh6K-M&t=55s The whole video is pretty good but the bit at 2:26 is amazing.
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Oct 9, 2020 16:24
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CainFortea posted:Voldemort doesn't have a nose, he couldn't smell it. I think he only became a Snake Man when he was resurrected. He was just a normal looking dude before baby Harry killed him. For someone who was as much of a LARPer as Voldemort who was obsessed with his snake themed lineage, I can totally buy that when given the chance to rebuild himself from scratch he chose to be a Snake Man. Either that or all the Snake related magic involved in his resurrection made being a Snake Man inevitable.
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Oct 9, 2020 16:31
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galagazombie posted:I think he only became a Snake Man when he was resurrected. He was just a normal looking dude before baby Harry killed him. For someone who was as much of a LARPer as Voldemort who was obsessed with his snake themed lineage, I can totally buy that when given the chance to rebuild himself from scratch he chose to be a Snake Man. Either that or all the Snake related magic involved in his resurrection made being a Snake Man inevitable. Yea, but when he was under the garlic turban was after baby harry killed him so he had no nose.
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Oct 9, 2020 16:34
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"My Dark Lord has no nose!" "How does he smell?"
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Oct 9, 2020 16:43
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josh04 posted:"My Dark Lord has no nose!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4VjZKPjxnE&t=322s
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Oct 9, 2020 16:58
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So how did these freakin' books end anyway? I got too scared by the sixth one and for all I know that maniac voldemort is still out there
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Oct 9, 2020 17:37
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galagazombie posted:I think he only became a Snake Man when he was resurrected. He was just a normal looking dude before baby Harry killed him. For someone who was as much of a LARPer as Voldemort who was obsessed with his snake themed lineage, I can totally buy that when given the chance to rebuild himself from scratch he chose to be a Snake Man. Either that or all the Snake related magic involved in his resurrection made being a Snake Man inevitable. Apparently he became more monstrous in appearance the more horcruxes he made, or something. In the flashback scene where he comes to Hogwarts to ask Dumbledore for a job and hide a couple of his phylacteries Dumbledore notices that the once disarmingly handsome Riddle has become much more withdrawn, pale, and snakelike in appearance.
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Oct 9, 2020 17:47
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FunkyAl posted:So how did these freakin' books end anyway? I got too scared by the sixth one and for all I know that maniac voldemort is still out there Harry/Ron/Hermione gently caress around in the woods for a year while Voldemort takes over Britain. We get an endless amount of new ~Wand Lore~ and hyper powerful magical artifacts no one mentioned up until this point. There is a long running subplot where we learn Dumbledore was bffs with Wizard Hitler and had family drama because of it (this is where JKR later inserted that he was gay). They eventually make it back to Hogwarts have a final battle where a bunch of people die (and we learn Snape was a good guy all along! Also he forces Harry to look him in the eyes as he's dying so he can pretend its Harry's mom doing so) Skip ahead 19 years later, Harry married Ginny and decided to name his second kid loving Albus Severus Potter because he hates him I guess. That kid will later become estranged and go on a wacky time travelling adventure with Voldemort's daughter. Zore fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Oct 9, 2020 |
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Oct 9, 2020 17:49
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Sydin posted:Apparently he became more monstrous in appearance the more horcruxes he made, or something. In the flashback scene where he comes to Hogwarts to ask Dumbledore for a job and hide a couple of his phylacteries Dumbledore notices that the once disarmingly handsome Riddle has become much more withdrawn, pale, and snakelike in appearance. That makes sense. Though I remember in the first movie (before Horcruxes had ben invented, and even if they had the filmmakers couldn't have known) the flashback of Voldy killing Harry's parents had him normal looking insomuch as not getting a clear look at his face. All while wearing a laughably low budget dollar-store hood. Made it look like the Potter's were killed by a guy who just left his Vampire: The Masquerade session. Edit I just checked and in the first movie back-of-head Voldemort has a normal human nose so being a Snake Man is definitely a retcon. galagazombie fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Oct 9, 2020 |
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Oct 9, 2020 18:27
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galagazombie posted:That makes sense. Though I remember in the first movie (before Horcruxes had ben invented, and even if they had the filmmakers couldn't have known) the flashback of Voldy killing Harry's parents had him normal looking insomuch as not getting a clear look at his face. All while wearing a laughably low budget dollar-store hood. Made it look like the Potter's were killed by a guy who just left his Vampire: The Masquerade session. Hey! no need to get poopy!
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Oct 9, 2020 18:28
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