r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

number 1 snake fan: Jul 16, 2018

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Topic unlocked

Lmao so this person is fine but i get probed for telling people not to post abuse stories in the thread bc of "backseat modding" cool cool cool

# ? Oct 24, 2020 05:23

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# ? May 29, 2024 22:58

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

Forum rules and their enforcement are arbitrary, by definition.

hastag-dealwithit

edit, content:
My(32f) husband (36) doesn�t think there�s anything wrong with leaving his wife and kids to go on vacation.

quote:

He�s taken 3 trips (3-7 days boating with his family) in the last 6 months. The first trip I was 8.5 months pregnant, with a 3 yr old toddler. He went again two more times, when baby was 6 weeks and 4 months. He claims men go on business trips all the time and this is the same thing. I had agreed to let him go but under different circumstances. He planned the trips with his dad and changed plans on what we had agreed. I let him go because I don�t feel like I have a great relationship with my in-laws and was afraid I�d be blamed for ruining the trip. I managed but it was really hard for me. When I had my first child he went to Europe for two weeks and said it was a business trip. When he came back he said he only worked about 10% of the time.

I don�t disagree that people need time to relax and recharge, especially if they have their partners blessing. I�m more frustrated with his attitude that everyone does this and everyone okay leaving their young family.

People really need to find out about DIPAC before they get married, it's a shame.

Serephina fucked around with this message at 05:44 on Oct 24, 2020

# ? Oct 24, 2020 05:42

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Serephina posted:

Forum rules and their enforcement are arbitrary, by definition.

hastag-dealwithit

edit, content:
My(32f) husband (36) doesn�t think there�s anything wrong with leaving his wife and kids to go on vacation.

People really need to find out about DIPAC before they get married, it's a shame.

Knowing about the Dairy Inspection Program Advisory Committee before I married my wonderful wife has made our life together so much easier.

(Please tell me what it stands for in this context, Google is no help here.)

# ? Oct 24, 2020 05:58

Arzakon: Nov 24, 2002; "I hereby retire from Mafia"
Please turbo me if you catch me in a game.

penis is abundant and of little value

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:02

YggiDee: Sep 12, 2007; WASP CREW

Dick is Plentiful and Cheap

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:03

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

DICAP is the canon version.

(dick is cheap and plentiful)

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:04

Tarkus V2.0: May 30, 2008

Dick Is Pretty Awesome Cowboy!

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:06

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Thank you all! Apparently I knew that but had forgotten or the DICAP/DIPAC change caused my brain to not process it.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:06

Barudak: May 7, 2007

DICAP Attack was one of my favorite genesis games

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:20

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for interviewing job candidates in a foreign language if their r�sum� claims non-native fluency in that language?

quote:

I manage a team of software developers, and am in charge of all hiring for my team. I absolutely cannot tolerate candidates who bullshit about their skills, technical or otherwise. I (and all of my employees who interview candidates) really probe that a candidate knows everything they claim on their r�sum�. For example, if you claim to be a C++ expert, you�d better demonstrate C++ proficiency during an interview.

I also assess whether candidates are bullshitting in non-technical areas. For instance, if a candidate claims that they�re fluent in a particular foreign language, I try to find someone on my team to interview them partially in that language to make sure the candidate is not lying. I don�t mean that they conduct the whole interview in that language, they just have a brief conversation sufficient to judge proficiency level. My team is approximately 40 people and quite diverse, so chances are I can find at least one person who�s fluent in any given (common) language. Obviously, I don�t do this for native speakers; if someone is from China and claims Chinese fluency, I don�t need to test this.

Shockingly, I'd estimate approximately 25% of candidates who claim fluency in a non-native foreign language are lying about their proficiency level. This is an immediate disqualification: if a candidate is lying about not knowing a foreign language, then who knows what else they might lie about.

I recently gave career/job search advice to someone who recently graduated college and is applying to their first job. I told them that the most important thing when applying to a job is honesty, and told them what I wrote above. They were horrified, and said that my style of interviews are �abusive,� epitomizing what�s broken in the hiring process. I realize that my interview style is uncommon, but I wouldn�t call it �abusive� or �assholeish,� to use this sub�s lingo.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:32

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting a backup name if our daughter doesn�t come out black enough?

I assure you she will look mixed. Other Nigerians can loving tell I�m Nigerian, even though my first name isn�t. Hell I can pick out other Nigerians at times, regardless of name. Also quantifying if you�re kid is black enough is insanely hosed.

Punishment for such male foolishness: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sitting_on_a_man?wprov=sfti1

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:40

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for saying you shouldn�t call babies ugly?

quote:

AITA For getting upset when people argued that all babies are gross and ugly?

Ok. I�m (M18) in a group chat with a few friends of mine (all around 19, mix M and F). One of them (who I am not close to at all) started talking a bunch about how she hates kids. I�m going to call her Jane.

I love kids, personally, but I understand that some people just can�t stand them. It�s not a huge deal for me, I know that kids are NOT for everyone (hated kids a lot growing up until I became a nanny).

So it wasnt bothering me. Well one of my friends, lets call him Tom, agreed and they were discussing it. Jane starts going on about how babies are ugly, too pink, etc. This made me very very upset. I don�t care if you hate kids, generalizing and insulting them feels very wrong to me. They�re people too. Tom was agreeing.

So I told them it was really rude to call babies ugly, that babies are people too, and that if the reason they think that babies are ugly is because they�re fat and have wrinkles, that�s another kind of messed up, because those things aren�t inherently ugly. I also said that saying all babies are too pink was a massive and wrong generalization because not every baby is super pink-darker skinned babies are not, and its eurocentric to say all babies are pink.

I will admit, I was pretty upset, and harsher than I should have been. I threw in a couple of �thats really loving rude� sentences and similar.

A few minutes later, Tom sent a message saying he doesn�t like confrontation and could everyone in the chat please refrain from angrily cursing him out and confronting him.

Now here�s the part where I might be the AH if I wasn�t already before.

A bunch of Tom�s friends, none of whom I know and none of whom are even active in the chat (its mostly just me, Tom, Jane, and another friend of mine) came in to Tom�s defense. Saying he shouldn�t have to deal with that. Tom says �I was in the wrong I know� and everyone jumps to his defense, saying no he wasn�t, it wasn�t that big of a deal, Im making a big deal out of it, and that he did nothing wrong and I was being rude and confrontational. I didnt think I was confrontational at all, just a little ruder than I should I have been when I told them it seemed mean to babies and could they please not do that.

So I just left. I was planning on trying to meet an agreement because Im a HUGE advocate for talking things out. But the way I was being treated made me very upset, so instead I just left the chat.

I�ve been considering messaging Tom and letting him know I�m not angry at him, to smooth things over (he is dating one of my friends) but frankly Im worried I will get upset again.

Was I the AH for saying that generalizing and insulting babies is rude? And then leaving the chat when most of them disagreed with me? Tom and I both have mental health issues.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:42

Tarkus V2.0: May 30, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for interviewing job candidates in a foreign language if their r�sum� claims non-native fluency in that language?

I'm not sure but I think that's actually fair. I can't say I would ever claim to know a language that I didn't know. I can imagine that plenty of weebs would claim they know Japanese 'cause they know a few words or whatever and would put it on their resume.

However, I think that it's possible that if it's a language that the interviewer doesn't know and gets an employee to grade their knowledge, there may be reason for the employee to claim that the interviewee doesn't cut the mustard with the language so that they're not hired. Doubly so if the company is as cutthroat as it sounds.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:44

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Tarkus V2.0 posted:

I'm not sure but I think that's actually fair. I can't say I would ever claim to know a language that I didn't know. I can imagine that plenty of weebs would claim they know Japanese 'cause they know a few words or whatever and would put it on their resume.

However, I think that it's possible that if it's a language that the interviewer doesn't know and gets an employee to grade their knowledge, there may be reason for the employee to claim that the interviewee doesn't cut the mustard with the language so that they're not hired. Doubly so if the company is as cutthroat as it sounds.

Nah it's a symptom of extremely toxic interview processes. That op is a dick, and is likely running an extremely dysfunctional office. He's not wrong in that lying on your resume in obvious ways is dumb, because you can get caught. But approaching the interview from the starting position of "I need to check if this person is lying" is loving terrible.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:47

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for saying you shouldn�t call babies ugly?

Babies are objectively ugly and it's only intense hormones that make people think they aren't. NTA

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for interviewing job candidates in a foreign language if their r�sum� claims non-native fluency in that language?

No, you should expect to be able to back up anything you put on your resume. If you say you're fluent when you aren't, and you lose the job as a result, too bad for you. Yeah it might suck if it isn't relevant to the job, but maybe don't put random lies on if they aren't gonna make a difference? But at the same time, unless the job actually requires the language, sending someone over to test their fluency is needless gatekeeping. ESH.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:47

Tarkus V2.0: May 30, 2008

sephiRoth IRA posted:

Nah it's a symptom of extremely toxic interview processes. That op is a dick, and is likely running an extremely dysfunctional office. He's not wrong in that lying on your resume in obvious ways is dumb, because you can get caught. But approaching the interview from the starting position of "I need to check if this person is lying" is loving terrible.

Yeah, I get what you're saying but in this day and age being able to speak, say Tagalog, may be important to being able to work with a specific set of people in the company or outside of the company. It's not like listing your hobby as parasailing and being tested on your mad skillz. It is a pertinent skill in many workplaces and shouldn't be listed willy nilly. OP is probably a dick but ESH.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 06:55

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Depending on the language it might not be obviously related to the job but could be something they consider when deciding who to hire. We look at a lot of documents where I work and sometimes they are in foriegn languages and we need to ask the customer to translate them. Unless we have an employee on hand who is comfortable reading the document and determining if it's acceptable. Being able to read Spanish or Chinese or German might not be something we would put in the job description but could actually come up down the road when the person in the cubicle next to you comes across something and asks for your help. We don't hire our own translators but in some positions it's considered valuable to read or speak a foriegn language. The applicant is trying to leverage their language skills for an edge in the hiring process, so it's fair to test it.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 07:52

Sanford: Jun 30, 2007; ...and rarely post!

Years ago we interviewed someone for a technical support position who put on his CV that he could speak Mandarin. My boss had spent several months in China the year before so just said [good morning in Mandarin] to him. He went completely blank and when pressed, said he�d put it on there because his mum spoke it, so if it become relevant she could teach him. Shortest interview I�ve ever done.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 08:51

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

I notice a huge thing in AITA (and Relationship subs as well), is where friends are split between the OP being good or bad in a situation where they were clearly the good guy... And it pretty much always comes to light that the reason for that is that the OP never actually told anyone their side of the story.

Like there's been a couple stories, like the girl with the wheelchair-bound friend, where just actually telling people what happened instantly made the people take their side.

Its so weird to me, how they just refuse to defend themselves until pushed

# ? Oct 24, 2020 08:55

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

It really only matters if the fluency is related to the job. Most people are told by resume writing companies to lie and exaggerate their resume with things like that so they stand out from the stack of 100s.

"Fluency" as a resume word is also a bad idea, because "proficient" can mean whatever you want when asked.

pentyne fucked around with this message at 09:27 on Oct 24, 2020

# ? Oct 24, 2020 09:23

SerialKilldeer: Apr 25, 2014

Knobb Manwich posted:

A Filipino told me the teeth dreams mean someone close to you is gonna die.

Well, they're completely right, but they just didn't say when those people would die.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 09:34

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for saying you shouldn’t call babies ugly?

I feel exhausted just reading this, I cant imagine actually interacting with this person.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:08

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

DemoneeHo posted:

Always remember: DIPAC (or did we settle on DICAP?)

I prefer DICAP because it has 'dick' in it.

Invisible Clergy posted:

Either is acceptable. I personally prefer DIPAC, as in Chopra, so I can imagine a guru telling all these posters to leave their crusty-assed boyfriends.

Not sure if this is relationships material, but isn't Deepak a scam? Though maybe many a guru is.

See you all in a month when I clear this backlog.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:20

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Of course he is; all gurus are. See you in a month.

AITA for refusing to use my employee discount to buy my brother clothes???

quote:

Ok this happened a couple hours ago my stepmother and father wanted me to use my employee discount at the clothing store that I work at and I told them no because it is a violation of the contract that I agreed to at my workplace and it states that I can not pay for other people while using my discount and have them pay me back but I can however buy it as a gift and so they got pissed at me and they said "oh its not like they'll find out" the mangers of the store actually have a team of investigators that look into these things so they would actually find out so am I the rear end in a top hat here or no??

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:26

Strong Convections: May 8, 2008

Danaru posted:

I feel exhausted just reading this, I cant imagine actually interacting with this person.

AITA is just full of garbage where everyone is an rear end in a top hat. But people treat it like it's a "who was in the right/who do you agree with?" situation.

You can be right (based on the heavily skewed one-sided version that you present to the audience), and also still an rear end in a top hat, which a lot of people love to ignore there (because they're assholes too).

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:26

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

therobit posted:

Depending on the language it might not be obviously related to the job but could be something they consider when deciding who to hire. We look at a lot of documents where I work and sometimes they are in foriegn languages and we need to ask the customer to translate them. Unless we have an employee on hand who is comfortable reading the document and determining if it's acceptable. Being able to read Spanish or Chinese or German might not be something we would put in the job description but could actually come up down the road when the person in the cubicle next to you comes across something and asks for your help. We don't hire our own translators but in some positions it's considered valuable to read or speak a foriegn language. The applicant is trying to leverage their language skills for an edge in the hiring process, so it's fair to test it.

It's also highly relevant if the company does any international business, which it sounds like that company does. You don't want to, say, put together a team to work with a client from France and then one member of that team turns out to not be able to speak French.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:28

WarEternal: Dec 26, 2010; Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

Danaru posted:

I feel exhausted just reading this, I cant imagine actually interacting with this person.

I quit about halfway through, haha.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:32

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for Calling a Guy Stupid after he made Assumptions about my Family of 19?

quote:

So I have seen on other posts this sub isn't a huge fan of big families so I wouldn't say this would be 100% unbiased but please be as neutral as you can before you hear the story.

Ok so I (16F) am from a family with 17 kids. Ages, 25,22,22,21,19,18,16,16(me),14,11,9,9,7,5,3,1,1. But the difference between my family and many other big families is that my parents are amazing. First of all my mom(45) (Who manages peoples finances for a living) was able to figure out how to balance books or whatever in order to have any amount of kids, while she was pregnant with the oldest. Also she is able to carve out alone time with everyone and she's basically a superhero. Also we aren't mormon or anti-vax or anything, my parents just always wanted more.

Well the other day I was hanging out with friends (Social distanced ofc) and one girl brought her new boyfriend. He was a bit weird and was kinda acting like he had always been there and like we were his best friends even though it was everyone's first time meeting him. But he was nice at first so I didn't mind. Then I mentioned having 16 siblings, he was like "Oh that must suck". I replied that some parents do a sucky job but my parents are pretty good at raising a big family. Then he started making all these weird assumptions to try to convince me to hate my family. Like he would say "But your parents force you to raise your younger siblings" and he wouldn't even say it like a question. I would reply "Well we do babysit but my parents pay us like they would a babysitter"

He was getting mad at me for not hating my family and calling me brainwashed and saying I was in a cult, blah blah blah. After his rant about how my parents don't feed me because I'm so skinny(they do) I just yelled "Well I'm very sorry that I love my family and am happy, I'm not gonna be depressed and cut off my family just because stupid idiots like you say I should when you meet me the first time!"

He started telling me to calm down even though he had just been yelling at me. Him and his gf left and the rest of the day was pretty good and me and the rest of my friend group laughed about it. Well his girlfriend messaged me and said to apologize for yelling at him. I said he should apologize for yelling at me, she says he shouldn't have to apologize because he was right. This is also more like a friend of a friend. Like I used to like her but we would never hang out alone or FT or whatever.

My other friend told me to post it on here. I listen to some of the popular reddit stories on YT but have never used the site itself anyways AITA?

Edit- All the kids under 14 aren�t my parents bio kids, the 14YO, 1 of the 9YO�s and the 7YO are my aunts bio kids that my mom adopted, the rest are adopted form foster care. Us older kids are bio though.

Edit: I�m gonna delete this edit later but I won�t be reading the comments for the next two hours cus I�m watching borat.

Edit-I�m not deleting the last edit. Just know that the two hours have passed lmao.

Edit- the people in my DM�s: your parents are white saviors

My Hispanic/indigenous rear end: 👁👄👁

Hopefully last edit: I just posted on AMA as someone suggested so if you have any Q�s I will gladly provide my A�s.

(sees title)
Oh, maybe OP is starting a family at 19 and doesn't appreciate people telling her she's starting too soon. That sucks

(reads post)
:catstare:

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:34

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for Calling a Guy Stupid after he made Assumptions about my Family of 19?

(sees title)
Oh, maybe OP is starting a family at 19 and doesn't appreciate people telling her she's starting too soon. That sucks

(reads post)

Started off on her side, then the more she talked about how perfect and amazing her mom is I started understanding the cult accusations. YTA regardless for those edits

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:41

SomedoodIV: Feb 28, 2013

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for refusing to use my employee discount to buy my brother clothes???

Some places are downright evil with employee discounts, in his defense. I've heard of places tracking employee discounts hard and firing for it at the drop of a hat, so his apprehension is understandable, especially if it's a clothing store since they tend to be the worst.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:42

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

WIBTA for reporting a guy who played me to his team for a drug test I know he'd fail?

quote:

Sorry this is my first post ever so I might mess up.

Ok, so I (19F) have been going on dates/hooking up with a guy (22M) since around July - we met on Tinder. He goes to a college in my hometown, I go to one 2 hours away. When we were both in town we'd hang out and do things a couple would do, just without a label (I'm very aware we're not dating at all). When I went back to school we'd just text a lot.

Side note: I also have been going on dates with other guys at my school. But just last week he brought up seeing other people and told me (unprompted) that he wasn't at all. I was honest with him about my part.

Here's where I feel like he played me and my WIBTA question is. His birthday is today, so yesterday we talked about me driving back home to see him & stn & do things on his birthday. We decided at 3pm I would get there around 9pm when he got out of football practice, then he had to go because he had to go to practice. So, last night I left around 7:30 and hadn't heard from him but figured he was still in practice. I make the 2 hour drive in the dark and get to his place around 9:30. I had tried calling him several times but he hadn't picked up (not unusual, he doesn't go on his phone a lot). When I get there, I knock on his door and I heard people inside but it went quiet. He slid out of the door and long story short, he had another girl over. He said he "didn't actually think I would show up since he hadn't texted me since we made plans." I felt like we had agreed on a time so I wasn't in the wrong for showing up, maybe I am.

Obviously that really hurt. I drove 2 hours in the dark, did my hair and makeup, bought a new lingerie set, gotten him a birthday present, and had made plans for a restaurant for his birthday (all of which he knew about). I felt really dumb and just went back to my childhood home.

Not sure if this is important but he has a rocky background, his parents are out of the picture so he and his brother were raised by their grandma. I don't know if he's good enough to get drafted either.

My question is: I know he smokes all the time, WIBTA for anonymously reporting him to his football team for a drug test?

I feel like this might be TA move because football is probably his one shot to have a successful career, he doesn�t do well in school and doesn�t come from a privileged family. When talking to my best friend about it, she said that reporting him would be TA move & taking it way too far.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 12:56

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Invisible Clergy posted:

WIBTA for reporting a guy who played me to his team for a drug test I know he'd fail?

This might be the most incredibly petty thing in the thread so far.

Edit - the guy sucks but he just sounds like a loving idiot more than anything. Cut your losses and move on.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 13:05

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for Calling a Guy Stupid after he made Assumptions about my Family of 19?

(sees title)
Oh, maybe OP is starting a family at 19 and doesn't appreciate people telling her she's starting too soon. That sucks

(reads post)

Sometimes it really does take a village.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 13:18

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Invisible Clergy posted:

WIBTA for reporting a guy who played me to his team for a drug test I know he'd fail?

Hoooooly poo poo, "Am I an rear end in a top hat for torpedoing a person's career because I got stood up for a hookup?"

# ? Oct 24, 2020 13:33

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

She's young and angry and asking if she's overreacting before going through with something. The thread gently talked her down and she's being gracious about it, so it's about as much of a success story as you can get from the subreddit.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 13:38

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA?? Toothbrush issues

quote:

My husband uses my toothbrush!! Yuck! AITA? I can't stand it when my husband uses my toothbrush. He will even take it into the shower to use and leave it there. He'll also take the tube on the sink into the shower. FYI, I make sure he has 2 toothbrushes. 1 on the sink in a cup, 1 in the shower. I keep extra tubes of toothpaste under the sink. If he takes the sink tube shouldn't he replace it with a new one? Or take a new one for the shower? I've politely mentioned that I prefer to be the only person using my toothbrush. And I keep plenty of replacement brushes and paste right in the cabinet. Hasn't changed anything. Petty, I know. But is it a lack of respect for a reasonable request or AITA??

If this is what the husband does openly, you wonder what he tries to hide.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 14:26

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA?? Toothbrush issues

If this is what the husband does openly, you wonder what he tries to hide.

This is why you live together before marriage.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 14:33

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for not talking to my depressed co-worker anymore?

quote:

I (35f) work for a very small office, there's 7 of us. This co-worker (25m) and I started there around two years ago. He's kind of different, and I got to know him quite a bit. He is manic depressive, so he would have these extreme mood swings, where occasionally he'd be over the top, loud, joking, etc, to the point that I would get annoyed, and sometimes he wouldn't even say hi or goodbye to anyone, just close the door and ignore everyone.

As we got closer I found of he was abused and had some serious mental health issues. He has cried at work, told me things about his past, and I'd listen to him. This went on for months, if not a year. He got really attached to me. He would literally follow me around, if he finished work before I did he would come and sit in my office and watch me until I was also ready to go. He texted me every night. He would occasionally even walk by my office and stop in the door and just stand there not saying anything, looking at me. It was weird, and I asked him to stop. He didn't get things that other people just intuitively understand. Like, don't just stand in the door and stare at someone. Don't approach way too close inside of someone's bubble, don't make jokes about your privates to female co-workers. Anyways, through all this time I'm trying to help him. He'd get depressed pretty frequently, this manifested with him just changing completely and ignoring everyone. I would always be the one to drag him out of it. Like go into his office, talk to him, listen, etc, get him to do stuff with me, like go out to lunch. It would always help, but it was wearing me down big time.

Overtime I talked him into going to see a therapist, and starting medication. I basically told him that I just want to be a friend not his therapist, and he needs to go because I cannot keep supporting him like that. It was just too much. The mood swings, the weirdness, the crazy heavy things he'd tell me. So he started going, which initially seemed to help. But I think what changed then was he said some things to me which made he think he liked me. He made a couple weird inappropriate jokes. Then he offered me to hang out via text one day, and I basically said no, because I did not think the context or the language was appropriate. I think he took offense to that, and I just really getting worn out by his continual mood swings and drama.

So next time he got depressed again and started ignoring everyone I basically just let it be, I didn't try to drag him out of it like I always have done. Basically just ignored him back. Because he wouldn't say hi to me, I don't say anything to him either. The atmosphere in the office has been tense, and other people have definitely noticed. Now it's been months and he's been like this. I actually have some relief now, it's a lot less stressful having to always manage his moods, but I wonder if I'm the rear end in a top hat for not trying to support him more? There's a part of me that thinks I'm just being childish because I'm tired and hurt.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 14:38

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

I can't believe sharing toothbrushes is something anyone would do. To me it's like a step below sharing your dirty toilet paper with each other.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 14:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 22:58

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Prisons and homeless shelters will issue each person their own toothbrush.

# ? Oct 24, 2020 14:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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