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Nov 4, 2020 02:52
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Wow, it just keeps spiraling downward faster and faster. Can't wait to see how much worse this wild ride gets. Like, I initially wanted to give the designer some leeway in that English is clearly not their first language and some of this stuff might be... lost in translation maybe? That can only stretch so far and they lost that benefit of the doubt from me after "Big Dad" mentioning disrobing unsuspecting women was followed up by allowing the player to do just that. Now they're just digging themselves deeper down at an alarming rate.
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Nov 4, 2020 03:21
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or maybe :megastonk:.
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Nov 4, 2020 03:26
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To borrow a smilie from another LP of a terrible fangame, 
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Nov 4, 2020 03:33
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Adding to the general but also can we just talk about this cow? I'm fairly sure that if you ever see a fully grown cow stretched out on its side, trying to eat or not, it's dying. Also that's some weird-rear end spriting.
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Nov 4, 2020 09:16
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I wanted to express anger aboutDimiPZC posted:Buy the bottle if possible. It's permanently miss-able and you can screw yourself out of potions for the entire game if you don't pick it up while it's available. but then the sex slave stuff happened and this weird design decision doesn't seem so bad anymore.
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Nov 4, 2020 09:39
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Well, that certainly didn't take long. Off to the depths we go.
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Nov 4, 2020 10:21
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Is the 'sex slave' necessary for that hole?
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Nov 4, 2020 10:55
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Welp. There isn't even any deliberation here, the designer started out wanting to dig through the center of the Earth to China and come hell or high water they're going to make it.
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Nov 4, 2020 12:56
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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:Is the 'sex slave' necessary for that hole? Nope. You can't do anything with the sex slave; you're justt a bystander who tolerates the act of selling little girls for sexual acts  Our protagonists are not nice people despite how much the game tries to convince you that they're the heroes.For what it's worth though, one person in this thread has guessed the answer close enough that I'm probably going to gift them the avatar unless someone else manages to guess a closer answer before I show it off.
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Nov 4, 2020 14:07
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I never saw them as good people. I mean, the king and co. are obviously evil for operating a totalitarian police state, but the basic premise is that there were monsters on the other side of the seal who waged terrible war against the Hyrule people, and the protagonists want to break that seal because they are bored. At least that's my understanding of it.
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Nov 4, 2020 14:33
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DimiPZC posted:Nope. You can't do anything with the sex slave; you're justt a bystander who tolerates the act of selling little girls for sexual acts lmao its the 'make a rope from slashed womens skirts' answer isnt it
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Nov 4, 2020 18:32
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Do you have to get dumped by your fiancée so that you're suicidal and jump into the hole in an attempt to end it all?
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Nov 4, 2020 20:28
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What the gently caress. I guess buying the "slave" doesn't do any good, you can't free her or something? Also, on a completely different note, do those pictures on the top left do anything? They kinda look like a map but I tried to see where you were on the Hyrule Field one and I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
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Nov 4, 2020 21:27
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Carbon dioxide posted:What the gently caress. I guess buying the "slave" doesn't do any good, you can't free her or something?
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Nov 4, 2020 22:20
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Yeah, it's just a hint shop.  This is the 10 rupee advice. The other two are stuff along the lines of "bomb the shutter in BigDad's house" and "there is a hidden wall in Bago's shop", each for 50 rupees
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Nov 5, 2020 01:51
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Carbon dioxide posted:What the gently caress. I guess buying the "slave" doesn't do any good, you can't free her or something? Yeah it took me a while but eventually I noticed that a portion of it turns pure green to denote where you are. it really should be like white or something.
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Nov 5, 2020 10:06
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This is wonderfully awful. I don't even know whether to comment on the racism, the sexism, the Weird Sex poo poo(tm) or what. But God, every single screen looks absolutely cluttered with garbage and hard to parse at a glance.
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Nov 5, 2020 12:00
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I like the idea of the random encounter squares. Putting a starting Link with six Darknuts can love right off, but the idea of getting warped to a little combat encounter once for a small bonus seems like a pretty decent way to break up the exploration.
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Nov 5, 2020 17:23
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 I'm still in awe at how disgusting the creator is. At least... at least it only happens here, this one time, and not multiple times, right?   Anyways, you can burn this tree and head east.  OST - Graveyard Yeah, I think the creator's shenanigans have gotten a few people watching him by now.     : Calm down, we don't even know what are you talking about... : You don't know anything! Stop questing or you will suffer! The truth is confusing here! The spirits are savage! If the night comes before you leave, you will die... DIE! He always watches... : I have a very bad feeling about this whole place!Wow, you don't saaaaaay...  Some of these gravestones are "talkable" to.  : Wha... Ho... But... My father... is still... still living! And I don't have any brother! What is it?! O_O: Very odd...Very strange, indeed...   : I hear whispering!: Me too! It says... "Don't waste the blood! See through the deceit of the wind mage!"  Ghosts!   Wow, an enemy that isn't trying to kill me? That's a first!    Breaking sequence a bit to show what's to the right...  : Off limits, kiddos, off limits! Go back nursing your dead, the northeast part is in very bad shape, hehe!Hokay then, totally not suspicious at all...  Hidden magic refill under the grass.  This screen seems suspicious. Let's look around for secrets.  Oh. Never mind then! Turns out waiting on this specific screen for 30 or more seconds makes it turn night.  OST - Monster Dance Jesus christ! Blue wizzrobes first showed up in Level 6 (a level known for it's huge difficulty spike) of the first Zelda, and returned later for level 9 they were that strong. They do 2 hearts of damage.  Stalfos and Z1 Gibdos (basically stalfos with fuckton of HP) resprited to be stalfos heads. Cause that makes sense.  Darknuts are still here...   Oh christ. That's a Fire Wizzrobe. Fire Wizzrobes are an entirely new enemy to ZC, and they're worse than Blue Wizzrobes in every sense. They fire randomly instead of when you're in line of sight, firing long lasting, short range, high damage flames in all 8 directions. Even one is enough to spam the screen full of fire and make things claustrophobic. They also take 12 hits to kill with wood sword as opposed to Blue Wizzrobe's 8. Nasty things and we can't handle them at this point.  These ghosts at night now damage you when you touch them. I was low and didn't know this, so I died. Dying respawns you in the night version on the screen with blue wizzrobes   That's gonna be a yikes from me. Red bubbles permanently disable either sword or items depending on the type, and only blue bubbles (resprited to be fairies), a potion (if sword jinxed and not item jinxed), or a health refill/fair tile will cure you.  What the actual gently caress. That's a Mirrorrobe. Mirrorrobes are yet another new enemy type added to ZC. They only take damage from their own shots reflected from the Mirror shield. They do 8 hearts of damage. Why the gently caress are they appearing this early!? They're bad for other reasons too, but we can't actually hurt them at this point so we'll bring up those other reasons at a later point.  Lastly, we have Red Wizzrobes. They're the most tame of all the wizzrobes, cause they just have a simple teleport pattern where they teleport aligned to you, and they only take 4 wood sword hits to kill. They also deal 4 hearts of damage with their magic. They will instakill us at this point if we get hit.   Needless to say, this graveyard is 20 pounds of nope in a 5 pound handbag. We're out of here.    Leaving the graveyard is the only way to make it day.  We're going back in cause we're crazy.  See, turns out you can slash these specific rocks like bushes and get down here. There's nothing here in the daytime, but...   You guessed it.  The mirrorrobe spooked me here.   Yeah, this is a problem.  10 tries of leaving and re-entering the screen later, we get an enemy spawn placement that doesn't put a wizzrobe down here with us. We get ourselves a super bomb!  They're better than bombs in every way; they deal more damage, have a bigger blast radius, and can blow up stuff regular bombs can't. Questmakers like to use these as glorified keys, and I don't trust CastChaos at this point to not screw me over if I waste this one.  There's nothing over on the left side, but if you push this specific grave...   We get the half magic upgrade! Now our magic costs half as much to use. This is also permanently miss able, as is every single magic expansion in the game! Not only that, but if you reach the entrance to the final dungeon with less than 4 total magic containers (3 + starting amount), or 2 if you picked this half magic up, you're locked out of beating the game entirely, cause you don't have enough magic to cast the spell that opens up the final dungeon  gently caress the graveyard.  If we had a better candle, we could melt that ice and have access to a free heal here.  If you're willing to use a super bomb here, you can blow up that rock to the right and have access to a bomb upgrade expansion (that we have to pay for), upgrading our capacity to 12 instead of 8. This also upgrades super bomb capacity, as we can hold 1/4th our bomb capacity in super bombs (though it's bugged for most of the game and gives me a much higher capacity). Bomb expansion upgrades are also all permanently miss able.   If we had a better candle, we could melt that fence and have access to a free heal container divided by 4.  Peahats! These things have a 1/1024 or something chance of stopping each frame, and they are entirely invincible unless they've stopped. If you kill them all on this screen you can slash the center one for a reward. They're a pain in the rear end to kill and I don't even bother trying to find out until much later.  Wow, it's nothing.   We can't do this yet.  I think that's all of the east side of hyrule we can explore right now explored. By the way, that thing in the topleft is our map. Where we are on the map is a solid green square that's barely visible at all. Game design!  Also, our sword can't slash. It can only stab. It only just occurred to me now to point this out.  Also dying anywhere in Hyrule Field respawns you at this windmill.  It's directly north of the pit.  OST - Windmill : See the truth: left, up, right, down, left, up, right, down! Around and around... I think I will compose a song about it... Around and around... Around and around... GO AROUND!!!No, this guy isn't a hint to the pit. He's a hint to what you have to do inside the pit.  We haven't explored over here yet, so let's do so.  Bridge is blocked.   Nothing sticking out immediately...  Though if you cut these bushes, they regrow into green bushes   Another guard. Remember, if he sees us, we get sent all the way back to town.  I start to go down here, but then...   One of my friends links me the level 1 cheat code, and I don't respect the creator enough to not share it with you guys. I checked, the level 2 cheat isn't "consent". Level 1 cheats are the "refill" cheats. They allow us to refill our health, magic, rupees and bombs with the press of hotkeys. And since this quest made me waste 50 rupees on a fish I didn't need, and my rupee count is still only around the 50 range...  Gimme all of those. COUNT OF ABSURDITY: Protagonist being awful: 2 Yikes: 2 Permanently miss-able: 3 DimiPZC fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Nov 15, 2020 |
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Nov 6, 2020 13:28
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I sure love when I can miss stuff and that makes the game completely unwinnable.
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Nov 6, 2020 13:48
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Games > Let's Play! > I will be a kill you when the no sun time comes! ...oh who am I kidding, there are going to be so many more candidates for silly title changes.
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Nov 6, 2020 14:02
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Black Robe posted:The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Games > Let's Play! > I will be a kill you when the no sun time comes!  If any mod reads this thread, they have my blessing to change the title whenever we find  quotes like this
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Nov 6, 2020 14:07
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If people can't permanently miss things, how else would you ensure they come back to replay your masterpiece?
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Nov 6, 2020 14:16
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Blaze Dragon posted:I sure love when I can miss stuff and that makes the game completely unwinnable. goatface posted:If people can't permanently miss things, how else would you ensure they come back to replay your masterpiece? "Nobody replays good games. Super Metroid? A Link to the Past? Both of those games only got played once back when they came out and never again despite people still talking about it, and that's because you can't miss anything, unlike my masterpiece. You plebeians can't understand my amazing game design! You will die... DIE!"
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Nov 6, 2020 15:35
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DimiPZC posted:"Nobody replays good games. Super Metroid? A Link to the Past? Both of those games only got played once back when they came out and never again despite people still talking about it, and that's because you can't miss anything, unlike my masterpiece. You plebeians can't understand my amazing game design! You will die... DIE!" "Why wouldn't you go around to every screen of the game after moving each block in each dungeon? If you aren't willing to put forth that small amount of effort, you don't deserve to play my game!"
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Nov 6, 2020 17:28
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Even though this is also digging to China in a game design sense, this is almost comfortingly familiar in its badness compared to child sex slaves and cutting off people's garments for a naked sprite that's not actually pornographic save in concept.
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Nov 6, 2020 19:28
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DimiPZC posted:We get the half magic upgrade! Now our magic costs half as much to use. Game Design!
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Nov 7, 2020 04:43
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Jesus Christ, being able to hard-lock yourself out of completing the game is insane.
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Nov 7, 2020 22:47
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PurpleXVI posted:Jesus Christ, being able to hard-lock yourself out of completing the game is insane. Reminds me of the old Sierra adventure games.
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Nov 7, 2020 22:54
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Might be a day or so until I get the next update up. Been feeling tired and sleepy lately. Thanks for your patience!
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Nov 9, 2020 04:17
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DimiPZC posted:"Nobody replays good games. Super Metroid? A Link to the Past? Both of those games only got played once back when they came out and never again despite people still talking about it, and that's because you can't miss anything, unlike my masterpiece. You plebeians can't understand my amazing game design! You will die... DIE!" You will be a kill you, you mean. 
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Nov 9, 2020 17:12
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I now have a letter and a ladder and a fish for later.  OST - Hyrule Field We're gonna explore the rest of Hyrule Field. Here's a map.  ...eh?  wha okay  Let's forget that happened. We can cross this bridge now with our new floor tile.  Handy map of this subarea. I'll do it every time we enter a new subarea this update; it'll help with getting a scope of how everything fits together. I'll post the entire map with everything fit together once we finish exploring.   Spooky spiderwebs here. You can slash them like you would grass.  Um  This bush comes alive and becomes an armos.  This looks similar, but you see that weird tuft of grass off the lower mountain? You can climb onto the mountain on that.   There's nothing of interest up here from what I can tell, though. If I had foresight, I could bomb open one of these spires for a secret, or boomerang that skull to create a ladder shortcut.  Nothing here, even if you kill the darknut.   Neat little subarea. Too bad nothing interesting happens here. Little warning, we're gonna be jumping around a bit this update.   We can't get either the magic container nor the heart piece in this area yet without items I don't have. However, if I had magical foresight, I could burn this chicken to Technically there's a hint in town for this that I missed, in the house next to the pregnant cow. I don't go in that house until much later cause you have to notice that grass sticking out over the cliff is different cause it obviously indicates a slope going down into that lower area. God this loving game.  We can go down this ladder though.   We reach a big lake area. No, this isn't Lake Hylia. I thought it was, though, so I waste far to much time trying to explore this area for little to no gains. The only gameplay purpose this hole serves is to prevent you from exploring the above area without the ladder in case we reached this area via a far less intuitive method. As for why the creator didn't want you up there without the ladder? Hell if I know. The ladder never comes up in that area, at all.   New enemy: blue leevers! These guys showed up in Z1. They're annoying pests that burrow underground occasionally and become invulnerable. Unlike peahats, they do so at set time intervals, and unlike red leevers, they just wander aimlessly instead of aiming for you.   Fun fact: there is basically no difference between a blue and red tektite. They both have the same amount of health and deal the same amount of damage.  Killing all the ones at this dead end will give you a good chunk of money.  Staircase here!  : To fill out the form for this time, you need to pay 15 rupees.: So, we need to pay toll for a simple tresspassing? : Psst... Don't start trouble, Love!We need to pay this anytime we use this teleport.  The teleport leads us here. This is the topright corner of the entire overworld, while where we came from was the bottomleft corner of the overworld. There's another chicken you need to burn blocking our return back, and since I don't know that then I'm stuck here.   There's... a free fish under this guy's pot. Come on game, don't rub salt in the loving wound  Gently caress my life.  Over here we have a-  Oh, cute. Anyways, one screen to the left of that guy is the big octo we saw earlier. Spoiler alert: you bomb them to get rid of them. I didn't know that at the time, and I didn't bother coming back here to experiment.  I decide to check down here to see if there's a quicker way to the lake area instead of going the whole way around, when I find another bush that becomes an armos   Spoiler alert, there isn't a shortcut to the lake area.  Most of this area is nothing, but there is this house we can check out!  Oh, it's a hospital. Neat.  : shortage for hundreds of years! Milk is healthy but not advised in the case of most illnesses. Use some potions instead.Sheik's just chilling down there. I guess they're meant to be an injured person?  : fast, but in fact they die fast. Avoiding is better than curing!I mean, she's not wrong, but still. Anyways, big surprise, injured people have nothing but exposition for us. There is not, and will never be, a point to the hospital in this game. The most it exists for is that walking onto the beds heals you.  Dark world Zora from LTTP just popping out to say hi. All Zora enemies in the game look like this btw.  Dead bird on the ground? Yep, that's roadkill.  On this screen we have some weird loo-  Nobody expects the Darknut Inquisition!  Blue darknuts deal 2 hearts of damage and take 8 wood sword hits. Needless to say, I don't win this fight, and I respawn all the way back at the windmill.  Lastly, in case you're wondering what's up here...  Wow, it's nothing! That hole is just so a rabbit can pop up every few seconds to act as decoration.  The secret on this screen is so dumb and irrelevant I almost thought it actually had no secret. If you boomerang the rock with an upgraded boomerang, it turns into a cut bush. Yes, that's it.  We're back in Not-Lake-Hylia. Reposting the map cause it's been a minute.  Totally not a suspicious waterfall at all.  That rock has water coming out of it. I guess this awful overworld made it burst into tears.   Another obligatory "this secret is dumb". If you guessed that we burn this weird color tree, you'd be wrong.  This dead end is pointless. It only opens up after the second dungeon, and there's no reason for it to exist beyond making the overworld more disjointed.  Let's head up instead.  A house! If we shoot the box with an arrow it breaks. Once again, this serves no purpose.  There's a bomb refill behind the bookshelf. I didn't find it and only found out about it far too late for it to matter.  : 'Guard Toro reports to Prime Guard Vaati. I confirm that the only way to leave Hyrule is through the DeathMt portal. It's sealed and only the Master Sword can break way. Holding the master sword is possible only with the three artifacts used by the Hero of Time.': 'The first one is in the possession of the Zora King. He would give it to anyone who kills the monster deep in the Zora dungeon. We have to make sure that everyone dies who enters the dungeon. The second artifact is at DeathMt. The gorons are secretive about it. The third artifact is suspected to be in the Lost Woods or in Kokiri Forest. The kokiris are secretive about it.': 'Thereare two adventurers (Knil and Myra) whos trying to make progress in obtaining the Master Sword. I have set up traps against them at significant places. There aren't any news about treasure hunter Zeia. She probably died in the Zora dungeon.': Interesting... I'm starting to fear...: You are always safe behind me.Jesus christ that was an expo dump. Anyways, important things: the guard reports to a guy named Vaati, and there's a treasure hunter named Zeia. I'm sure neither of these will be important... Also, this is our dungeon order. It's reverse OoT. Haha so clever.  To the west is Kokiri Forest.  Through that cave is Death Mountain. These are just a screen apart, and (spoiler alert) there's no detour you have to take after leaving Death Mountain. Game design!  Anyways, we can use our ladder to reach these vines on the suspicious waterfall screen.  You can go behind the waterfall, and there's a cave here you can bomb.  Your reward is a piece of heart.  Remember these stairs? I didn't bother going north at first.  There's a detour here that goes away from the fence dead-end.  It leads to a house!  : things are happening. For example, the heavy rain of DeathMt made the water to flood this area. My granddaughter went on an adventure but never returned. The thieves are very active nowadays, but those DarkNuts are even worse! They stole almost all of my belongings while I was sleeping! Even the precious items of my granddaughter are missing!: *crying*: Did this touch you so much?: Yes, so sad. *cry*: Yes! *crying*Ah, yes, cause there's nothing Women like to do more than cry. Sexism, everyone!  There's money to the north. Not much else.  Anyways, we explored pretty much the entire overworld. There's 3 screens in the northwest we haven't touched yet behind that burnable chicken, but they aren't important, at all. So, have the entire map to put all this into perspective.  At this point I'm lost for what to do, so I give this guy his fish.  He has a unique fish eating animation. Neat!  It's pointless to give the guy the fish. All you can do is see the Master Sword; you need to find the hidden passage in Hyrule Castle to actually reach it.  In my frustration, I accidentally use the candle on a pile of rocks, and...  ... Did that seriously just trigger a secret? What the gently caress. If I had foresight, I'd bomb the pile of rocks after they turned orange and gotten a magic container (permanently miss-able, remember!), but I don't have foresight (read: magical knowledge of arbitrary secrets), so I don't do it until later.  This is the point where I realize this guard turns around and looks the other way if you wait long enough.   And now we've finally found progress. loving hell. COUNT OF ABSURDITY: Protagonist being awful: 2 Yikes: 3 Permanently miss-able: 3 DimiPZC fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Nov 15, 2020 |
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Nov 9, 2020 22:34
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I long for Moosh's stilted writing
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Nov 9, 2020 22:43
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I love games/mods meant to be played with a FAQ open at all times.
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Nov 9, 2020 23:02
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Is it just me, or does the overworld look boring? No part of it seems that distinctive.
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Nov 9, 2020 23:21
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Quackles posted:Is it just me, or does the overworld look boring? That part about the Lon Lon Ranch is hilarious, though. The castle was built on top of the ranch, so they had milk shortages for centuries... because it would obviously be completely impossible to build a new ranch in the huge empty plain just south of the castle, or to fell some of those trees for new pastures. Another small detail, but I think it shows the lack of thought put into almost every aspect of this game.
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Nov 9, 2020 23:41
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Nevermind the farm just casually chilling in the town with all those chickens and the fat cow. Did they never just consider to milk the drat thing?
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Nov 10, 2020 00:02
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DimiPZC posted:Gently caress my life. you can just say gently caress, lol
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Nov 10, 2020 00:21
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 16:18 |
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DimiPZC posted:There's... a free fish under this guy's pot. Come on game, don't rub salt in the loving wound I said it right before that 
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Nov 10, 2020 00:26
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