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It's like they tell you when you show up to a protest organized by people of color as a white person: loving listen to people about what kind of help they want from you before you open your mouth and say something that is perhaps well intentioned but can actually hurt them.
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Nov 9, 2020 23:39
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Sagebrush posted:I don't begrudge her prodding him to buy new clothes one bit, but it sounds like he asked for a video game...and games don't cost $500. She could have gotten him the $60 game and $400 in clothes gift cards and then it wouldn't even be passive-aggressive. He would probably still lose his mind though. From the sounds of it, he's been wearing the same clothes since he met her. Which means that most of his wardrobe needs replacing, because unless you're taking particular care of it (which "5 days in the same hole-y shirt" and "has gone out in public in pants that expose his underwear" does not sound like), clothes generally don't last a decade without starting to fall apart. Especially cheap mass-produced stuff like t-shirts. And replacing a whole wardrobe of clothes all at once usually does cost around $500, if you're just looking at Walmart-tier stuff and not shopping a higher end bougie brand like Frank & Oak. He also has probably either been coasting at college or university (where they generally won't care what you wear as long as you're clothed) or he's been depending on her to pay the bills, because that lack of care about his appearance or the social acceptability of what he's wearing (you're not supposed to wear clothes that have gaping holes that expose your underwear, in public) isn't likely to transform into a sudden ability to conform to a dress code or schedule in the workplace. Either way, she should dump him and escape. She deserves better.
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Nov 10, 2020 00:20
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Scaevolus posted:She could have at least filed a complaint with the Department of Labor I don't understand......how do you get social media likes that way?
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Nov 10, 2020 00:27
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sephiRoth IRA posted:You're absolutely right that the US sucks with regards to workers rights, but here the execution was poor and the niece ruined a bunch of livelihoods. Maybe the nineteen year old independently wealthy savior of the downtrodden could have thought for a moment before acting. The problem there is that: a. The more people use "We need the money" as an excuse to not bother upholding their rights, the more businesses will treat labor laws as just a suggestion. b. Getting the law involved may not have led to a much better outcome than going to social media.
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Nov 10, 2020 01:41
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Yeah just start a Union is kind of a hilarious suggestion that shows you might be a bit out of touch
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Nov 10, 2020 01:46
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Cockmaster posted:The problem there is that: Victim-blaming is super cool.
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Nov 10, 2020 01:46
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Start a union so that they can all lose their jobs instead of just a few people.
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Nov 10, 2020 01:51
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AITA for telling my SIL to pay to come over?quote:So some context. We live near both sides of the family. My sister in law, is over 25 and single, likes to come over ALL THE TIME. Asks us for money (dosen't work, on welfare) or a ride (doesn't own a car) because we live blocks away from her. She has two cats and rents a basement and cannot afford anything because she is unable to budget. It is almost a daily basis that we are feeding her ontop of our children then takes off afterwards. We asked her to help out in return by babysitting or something else but she refuses saying that she is 'too busy'. Busy doing what we are never told. Here's some good petty content
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Nov 10, 2020 01:58
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sephiRoth IRA posted:Victim-blaming is super cool. Your victim blaming, like that’s literally what your doing
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Nov 10, 2020 02:01
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"Ungrateful" and "selfish" for... not continuing to help someone who never helps? Let me guess, she thinks she's owed these things because she's family and zero other reasons
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Nov 10, 2020 02:02
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The gift card was a last ditch effort to give him a chance to change and save the relationship. If he was thankful and bought adult clothes without holes in them he’d have a chance. Instead he freaked out because he didn’t get his bideo game. Anyone willing to wear the same shirt 5 days in a row probably doesn’t shower and so I’m sure the shirt smelt terrible. Along with the bed, couch and computer chair he sits in.
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Nov 10, 2020 02:07
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CharlestheHammer posted:Your victim blaming, like that’s literally what your doing The OP in this situation is the aunt who lost her job, who is now getting static from the niece because she's not saying the niece did a great amazing thing. The niece has support to rely on. She is not the victim here. The people who are now jobless with mouths to feed are the victims. Saying that they are responsible for business being predatory is an insane take. You people are insane 
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Nov 10, 2020 02:11
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sephiRoth IRA posted:The OP in this situation is the aunt who lost her job, who is now getting static from the niece because she's not saying the niece did a great amazing thing. Yweah you literally have no idea how this works please stop talking your embarrassing yourself. If you make any attempt you will potentially lose your job that’s how this works. Blaming the victims instead of the one that did the thing is actively counterproductive
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Nov 10, 2020 02:22
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CharlestheHammer posted:Yweah you literally have no idea how this works please stop talking your embarrassing yourself. So legitimately what happens to these workers that get laid off and have no other recourse? I mean this genuinely. What does this lady do with no jobs and no ability to fight this retaliation from the company?
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Nov 10, 2020 02:29
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sephiRoth IRA posted:Saying that they are responsible for business being predatory is an insane take. This is a very common ethical dilemma. X continually harms victims but the individual victims lack the power or means to do something or don't feel safe doing for any number of reasons. One victim (or sometimes bystander) decides to come forward and blow the whistle. It's perfectly understandable that the other victims didn't come forward, it may even be understandable that they don't support the whistleblower because they are hurt by the collateral fallout, but not reporting it allows X to continue harming more victims. You can support and feel empathy for the other victims who didn't speak out because they couldn't while still feeling that whistleblowing is the right ethical choice. Some people might feel that what the right choice is depends on whether the whistleblower is also a victim, or the right kind of victim, or maybe it depends on what the harm is and some calculus of harms and expected redress. That's a complex discussion but no position along the spectrum is inherently victim blaming, and the post you quoted did not blame the victims.
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Nov 10, 2020 02:36
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There's a difference between what is morally right to do, and what is tactically right to do. Negotiating the difference between them is the challenge. "This business is (exceptionally and illegally) exploiting its workers; should I do something?" is the moral question. "This business is (exceptionally and illegally) exploiting its workers; what can I do, and what will be the results?" is the tactical question. Martyrdom is only useful for propaganda value, or if you can use it as a moral positional good.
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Nov 10, 2020 02:39
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The pregnant woman who just lost her job and health insurance is probably happy someone finally spoke up for her.
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Nov 10, 2020 02:40
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Cobalt-60 posted:There's a difference between what is morally right to do, and what is tactically right to do. Yeah, the difference is that as a worker, the first one never matters and you always go for the money, because capital won a hundred years ago
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Nov 10, 2020 02:46
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I don't think taking it to social media without a lawyer behind it is the right move. If all she did was make a report to the DOL then I think she'd be in the right but putting it all over Instagram does nothing to the business while maximizing harm to the employees and also does not have the same legal protections for workers as a wage and labor complaint. Her aunt is getting hung out to dry because of this.
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Nov 10, 2020 02:55
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CharlestheHammer posted:Yweah you literally have no idea how this works please stop talking your embarrassing yourself. Chuck, I think you need to stop here and specifically define the person/people you mean by "the victim" in this circumstance, because it looks to me a lot like you're deeply misreading what other people are saying.
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Nov 10, 2020 03:12
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Xarbala posted:Okay Chabalubrioxethorsif. Whoa thanks! 
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Nov 10, 2020 03:40
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sephiRoth IRA posted:AITA for saying "I just hope that you are proud of yourself." to my niece when I lost my job after she reported the company I worked for? YTA and also I hope you eat a soup can when you try to cross your next picket line, scab. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 10, 2020 03:42
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That seems a bit excessive, if anyone’s the rear end in a top hat it’s OP’s company.
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Nov 10, 2020 03:45
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The niece can regain her honor by [parody, redacted, in minecraft] the company headquarters
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Nov 10, 2020 03:48
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Organic Lube User posted:YTA and also I hope you eat a soup can when you try to cross your next picket line, scab. Jimmy Hoffa has entered the chat.
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Nov 10, 2020 03:49
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Organic Lube User posted:YTA and also I hope you eat a soup can when you try to cross your next picket line, scab. Poor exploited laborers are not the rear end in a top hat in this situation, the gently caress is wrong with you?
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Nov 10, 2020 03:59
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GORDON posted:Jimmy Hoffa has entered the chat. LOL I heard he was buried under a building but I didn't realize it was his mom's basement.
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Nov 10, 2020 04:02
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Look, the difficulty of collective action is an intractable problem and all that, but it sure sounds like the company fired the OP in retaliation for her niece's whistleblowing (incompetent though it may have been). That's blatant enough to maybe matter in the US even.
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Nov 10, 2020 04:13
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To get anywhere, OP would still have to talk to a labor lawyer about her case, maybe even pro bono.
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Nov 10, 2020 05:05
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AITA for inviting a guy friend to try an upscale restaurant with me because my boyfriend will only eat fine dining if I’m the one paying? quote:My boyfriend Jake and I have been dating for a year. He comes from a wealthy family while I don’t, and he is very particular about money. Early in our relationship he told me that we shouldn’t give each other gifts that cost over $50 and he doesn’t like dining in expensive restaurants because he says he doesn’t want our relationship to be based on material things and we should focus on saving for the future. I easily agreed because I’m not with him to be given expensive gifts or be wined and dined daily, and I thought it was a great that he wanted to save for the future.
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Nov 10, 2020 05:44
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Beachcomber posted:*Googles* Hah, I would have been right. R for use the right hand, L for use the left hand, S for switch hitter.
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Nov 10, 2020 06:25
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AITA - My GF told an untrue story to her friends about me that made me out to be a creepy weirdo and she thinks i'm the one at fault over my reaction. quote:So on Saturday night we're having a zoom call with a bunch of friends. These are people that we both went to school with, and are friends with, but they are more her 'circle' of friends than they are mine.
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Nov 10, 2020 06:34
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Oh look, an off-hand last sentence that says "Get a divorce, idiot" and he's not even married.
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Nov 10, 2020 06:38
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relationship: cancelled
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Nov 10, 2020 06:39
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AITA for laughing in my stepsisters face when she showed up at my place and asking to stay for a while? quote:This happened three weeks ago. I (21f) was home in my apartment that I share with my two closest friends when my stepsister (19f) showed up and asked if she could stay with us for a while. I laughed and told her no and closed the door. She ended up going to my dad and her moms house where she told them everything and they are pissed. They said it was reckless and cruel to turn her away without seeing that she was okay and my dad said he was disappointed in me. I told him I did not want her anywhere she could steal or break something that didn't belong to her. He told me she hasn't done that in years and I have no right to hold "childhood mistakes" against her. The last time she broke something that was mine was two years ago when I went to stay for Christmas and she went into my room while I was taking a shower and took my phone, then broke said phone. I pointed this out to him and he told me I can't stay mad at my 'sister'. I told him I'm not mad at my sister because I don't have one. Which he did not take great. Then my stepsister started bugging me with how mean it was that I laughed at her and how she's changed. I asked if she changed enough to want to apologize for the crap she did and maybe even pay me back. She said no and she doesn't need to. I told her then she hasn't really changed. She tried to get me to believe her by her just saying it.
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Nov 10, 2020 07:10
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AITA: Told Best Friend Not to Come to My Weddingquote:I’m getting married this month in a courthouse wedding due to Covid19. Just us and our two best friends as witnesses.
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Nov 10, 2020 07:25
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ikanreed posted:Oh look, an off-hand last sentence that says "Get a divorce, idiot" and he's not even married. Sunk Cock Fallacy is a terrible thing.
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Nov 10, 2020 08:22
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Organic Lube User posted:YTA and also I hope you eat a soup can when you try to cross your next picket line, scab. Has to be the dumbest probe the thread has seen. What, we're you raised in a family of scabs or something?
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Nov 10, 2020 08:26
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Also it's not a threat, it's wishing for harm. A threat means you're gonna be the one doing it Anyway I agree, poo poo call, ref. poo poo call.
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Nov 10, 2020 08:33
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A threat has to be specific. Like, what kind of soup would it be? The mods can’t answer that.
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Nov 10, 2020 08:35
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