Balldo: Apply directly to the balls.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Balldo: Apply directly to the balls.

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Turpitude II: Nov 10, 2014

ball loving is a young man's game, ya fogey.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 10:40

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# ? May 18, 2024 03:57

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

They should make a telescoping one.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 11:09

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

They should make one that keeps your boys snug in winter.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 14:38

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Fleece lined seems to go against their hairless sack agenda.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 14:41

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

the current balldo is pretty much a modified wetsuit for deep dives

# ? Dec 31, 2020 15:18

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

They should make a tactical self-defense balldo. Like those keychains, but a Balldo.

Alright, alright, calm down. I'll keep my hands where you can see them. Don't you worry about that.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 15:46

Pug Rodeo: Feb 20, 2007; BRING IT ON BRING IT ON YEAH

# ? Dec 31, 2020 17:25

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

They should make a tactical self-defense balldo. Like those keychains, but a Balldo.

Alright, alright, calm down. I'll keep my hands where you can see them. Don't you worry about that.

Like an armored Balldo codpiece? Maybe with spikes?

# ? Dec 31, 2020 18:28

Bruegels Fuckbooks: Sep 14, 2004; Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically.

So it looks like we're late to the balldo discovery train.

There's an episode of Paradise PD that revolves around the balldo.

https://paradise-pd.fandom.com/wiki/Balldo

quote:

In "Big Ball Energy", Randall discovered a balldo in Karen's nightstand drawer and had no idea what it was. Hopson explained to him what it was and said that after Randall's testicles were destroyed by Kevin, Karen had been using for sexual pleasure. Randall was surprised to hear this, especially since Karen swore to him before she didn't mind his lack of testicles during sex. As Randall started piecing together all of Karen's lies, Hopson took the balldo and started playing with it, himself and eventually ended up shoving it up his rear end.

Later, at Paradise Hospital, Dr. Funtlichter told Randall that he uses what are known as "celebrity balldos" on himself, which are balldos that resemble the testicles of famous celebrties. In his case, he owns balldos for Don Lemon and Ice-T. Sometimes he puts them together and uses them both on himself for a form of sexual pleasure he likes to call "The Arnold Ball-men", which is a take on how iced tea and lemonade mixed together makes a drink called an Arnold Palmer.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 19:03

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

No.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 19:12

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Like an armored Balldo codpiece? Maybe with spikes?

A bsllsack flail

# ? Dec 31, 2020 19:21

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

SniperWoreConverse posted:

the current balldo is pretty much a modified wetsuit for deep dives

Next thread title.

Balldo - pretty much a modified wetsuit for deep dives

# ? Dec 31, 2020 20:13

Prince Reggie K: Feb 12, 2007; I've been denied all the best Ultra-Sex.

This is stupid, cant my partner just ride my dick, reach behind and fondle my balls? That sounds much more enjoyable.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 20:26

Brother Tadger: Feb 15, 2012; I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Whatever you say, gramps

# ? Dec 31, 2020 20:32

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

Back in my day balls got fondled and YOU LIKED IT!

# ? Dec 31, 2020 20:35

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Oh HERE WE GO AGAIN with the ball fondling traditionalists.
Cool. Great. Wonderful. You want to tell us about how you could only carry 100 lbs of balls back to the wagon, too? Maybe about how when God spoke to Moses he didn't specifically state if rocking a Balldo was obviously allowed because of the perfect unions it clearly allows (between balls and other genitals)? Hmm? You want to me to mollycoddle your ancient views on what is and isn't a permissible cybernetic genital enhancement GRANDPA

# ? Dec 31, 2020 20:40

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

Ballplay was a gateway to rimjobs... if someone doesn�t have your balls in their mouth, how are you supposed to get their tongue around your butthole??

Huh?

Yeah I thought so.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 21:27

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

I don't...MODS?!

# ? Dec 31, 2020 21:34

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

Go on cry to the mods.

Little do you know I have it on good authority the mod team are huge brown noses. To ahaha they�re into it!

# ? Dec 31, 2020 22:14

Internetjack: Sep 15, 2007; oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers; Top Cop

Bruegels Fuckbooks posted:

So it looks like we're late to the balldo discovery train.

There's an episode of Paradise PD that revolves around the balldo.

https://paradise-pd.fandom.com/wiki/Balldo

Are you sure you weren't just watching porn?

# ? Dec 31, 2020 22:36

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Big Beef City posted:

Oh HERE WE GO AGAIN with the ball fondling traditionalists.
Cool. Great. Wonderful. You want to tell us about how you could only carry 100 lbs of balls back to the wagon, too? Maybe about how when God spoke to Moses he didn't specifically state if rocking a Balldo was obviously allowed because of the perfect unions it clearly allows (between balls and other genitals)? Hmm? You want to me to mollycoddle your ancient views on what is and isn't a permissible cybernetic genital enhancement GRANDPA

How about a little wool pouch with an elastic top? To muffle baby clappin. :thunk:

# ? Dec 31, 2020 22:40

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

I had a black spot on my balls not too long ago and went to the doctor for it. Didn't know if it was melanoma or something that could get worse. My doctor looked at it an during the exam I think he sniffed it. I dunno if this was a medical thing or not. I really don't know.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 22:43

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

Tom Gorman posted:

I had a black spot on my balls not too long ago and went to the doctor for it. Didn't know if it was melanoma or something that could get worse. My doctor looked at it an during the exam I think he sniffed it. I dunno if this was a medical thing or not. I really don't know.

That�s not a spot. That�s your Balldo.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 22:44

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

*my doctor, burying his tongue and face entirely into my drooping, discolored ball-sack and licking and huffing greedily*

'I'm not sure this man of letters is directly concerned with my OR my genitals well being,' I think, staring ahead at the most generic office wall art I may have ever seen. 'What will I do if it's cancer? What will I do for LUNCH?" The sounds intensify and grow more urgent.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 22:47

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

gently caress do we go to the same guy? that sounds about right

# ? Dec 31, 2020 22:51

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

You lost me at huffing.

Imagine someone huffing balls like it�s some kind of Tony Montana mountain of coke

# ? Dec 31, 2020 23:09

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

At first I thought I didn't get it but actually I did get it, it just didn't make sense

# ? Dec 31, 2020 23:11

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

It makes perfect sense.

It�s truck nuts for gimps.

# ? Dec 31, 2020 23:13

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

Is there a similar device for putting her tits up my rear end?

# ? Dec 31, 2020 23:19

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

Big Beef City posted:

*my doctor, burying his tongue and face entirely into my drooping, discolored ball-sack and licking and huffing greedily*

'I'm not sure this man of letters is directly concerned with my OR my genitals well being,' I think, staring ahead at the most generic office wall art I may have ever seen. 'What will I do if it's cancer? What will I do for LUNCH?" The sounds intensify and grow more urgent.

sir this is a meineke muffler shop

# ? Dec 31, 2020 23:25