|
I don't understand how to interact with kids, am I destined to be a terrible father
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 05:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 15:00 |
|
|
Truman Peyote posted:I don't understand how to interact with kids, am I destined to be a terrible father well your kids won’t know how to interact with you but you’ll both have years and years and years to get better at it
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 05:35
|
|
|
i have kids op i parent them, in partnership with their mother, my wife hth
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 06:52
|
|
|
Truman Peyote posted:I don't understand how to interact with kids, am I destined to be a terrible father I don’t even know how to interact with people and it turns out kids are easier
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 06:54
|
|
|
Gentle Autist posted:i have kids op same except their mother, my wife, is more like an ex wife. her last boyf was 16 years younger than her. it didn’t work out lol
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 07:06
|
|
|
lol
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 07:20
|
|
|
Years ago in SF I went to a b-day party for a friend/colleague of mine that had recently had her first kid (they have 3 now, all adorable) so she hadn’t drank in like a year and proceeded to get hammered and have a great time. We were chatting about how it’s been for her with the newborn and the wack-rear end sleep schedule and stuff and she told me “dude.. you’re going to be such a great dad someday”  She slurred her words a bit but hey drunk words are sober thoughts. One of the nicest things anyone’s said to me. My sister’s got two boys now, 2 and .5 and they’re shockingly reasonable kids. For now I’m content with a future being “cool uncle fortaleza out west”
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 07:54
|
|
|
shoeberto posted:Oh I guess there's one thing. How much does it suck to have a young kid when you don't have much of a local support network? We live far from family and our friend group is pretty small atm. Fortaleza posted:“dude.. you’re going to be such a great dad someday” evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 09:22 on Jan 18, 2021 |
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 09:15
|
|
|
evil_bunnY posted:No offense but until you've had an infant on your own for a week or so you have no idea how capable of parenting you are. No worries, none taken. Her baby was 2 or 3 months old at that point so she was in the thick of it and not spouting platitudes so I took it to heart though. I’ll never know until I do, but plenty of time. I remember once when I was around 19 or 20 and I asked my dad (who’d been divorced from my mom and remarried with stepkids for years at that point) “how did you manage to raise me and <sister> so well??” He paused for a sec and said “... I have absolutely no clue” and he 100% meant it.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 09:35
|
|
|
raising babies isn’t hard. it’s hard work but not hard. and some kids obv harder than others but pretty much anyone with the right attitude will be fine it’s when you need to really start being a role model, that it’s a challenge, coz all the lessons in the world won’t change that your children largely learn from what you do more so than what you say, how you treat them and others. and this is the part where self sacrifice really kicks in, because it’s one thing to sacrifice sleep etc, but that doesn’t have to change who you are.. but if you see things in yourself you don’t respect and don’t want your kids to have, you have to actually do the hard work and change. it’s good tho.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 10:34
|
|
Truman Peyote posted:I don't understand how to interact with kids, am I destined to be a terrible father I didn't know how to do this either until I became a dad. Then it just kinda clicks. If it helps, the first like year of their life you just describe to them what you are doing while doing it, and show interest in poo poo they are doing if they bring anything to you.
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 12:18
|
|
shoeberto posted:
It's tough, not gonna lie. The hardest thing before they hit nursery is finding other kids to do stuff with (which in this situation is hosed anyway so heyoooo).
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 12:20
|
|
|
echinopsis posted:but if you see things in yourself you don’t respect and don’t want your kids to have, you have to actually do the hard work and change. I'm hoping that having an extra decade of life experience compared to when my parents had us will help with that. Because there is a lot of stuff I'm realizing I picked up from my parents that fuuuucked me up.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 14:03
|
|
|
My hope is that, in parenting, I raise a human that only requires half the hours of therapy that I did at MOST.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 14:04
|
|
|
shoeberto posted:I'm hoping that having an extra decade of life experience compared to when my parents had us will help with that. Because there is a lot of stuff I'm realizing I picked up from my parents that fuuuucked me up. similar for me. my parents are good people, but yeah, i picked up a lot of dad's anger issues. i've worked on myself over the years and waiting until my mid-30s to have the first kid was overall a good thing. e: dad, to his credit, was raised in an outright abusive household, and his parenting style was loving miles better than what he grew up around.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 14:19
|
|
|
President Beep posted:e: dad, to his credit, was raised in an outright abusive household, and his parenting style was loving miles better than what he grew up around. Hey same! Except replace anger with depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 14:37
|
|
|
as long as my kids are not yosposters i'll be happy
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 15:19
|
|
|
pointsofdata posted:as long as my kids are not yosposters i'll be happy dad... we need 2 talk......
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 15:22
|
|
pointsofdata posted:as long as my kids are not yosposters i'll be happy The Monkeypaw curls a finger. they become CSPAM posters.
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 15:31
|
|
|
CyberPingu posted:The Monkeypaw curls a finger. they become CSPAM posters. > dad walks in to room > kid slams laptop lid shut > dad: "What were you looking at?? show me!!!!" > kid: "no! dad! it's not what it looks like!" > dad: "I better not have caught you doing it again!" > dad opens laptop > the web browser is open to Hackernews > the comment text box is filled with 5 paragraphs fanboying over Elon Musk > dad: "we TALKED about this!!!"
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 15:53
|
|
|
it is astonishing how much these things poop jfc
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 16:20
|
|
Powerful Two-Hander posted:it is astonishing how much these things poop jfc The frequency isn't what impressed me. Is the quantity of some of them. My kid did one the other day that took 2 flushes to get rid of. He's only 2 and the thing was like half the size of him
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 16:34
|
|
|
when they're really little the force of their poops can explode out of the diaper in what's commonly called a "blowout" in my experience it usually rockets up their back
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 16:46
|
|
|
a cool thing about blowouts is they only happen on long car rides, and when you're doing the walk of shame to the buckies bathroom you'll see four or five sets of parents who are like "hoo boy, i've been there!"
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 17:02
|
|
|
..."long car rides"? that sounds dangerous, like you're trying to get covid!
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 17:17
|
|
|
oh heavens no, my 3yo's been out of diapers for a year; this was pre-covid
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 17:19
|
|
Corla Plankun posted:oh heavens no, my 3yo's been out of diapers for a year; this was pre-covid We are in this process atm. Today my kid was playing happily then shouted "poooooooo" and sprinted off to the toilet.
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 17:19
|
|
|
Corla Plankun posted:this was pre-covid You can't guarantee that. They could have eaten any number of bats on the road trip. smdh
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 17:22
|
|
|
it has been long enough that i am definitely taking it for granted now, but i can remember being super loving hyped when my daughter would stop what she was doing and holler "i need to go potty" and run off to take care of business.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 17:22
|
|
|
My daughters response to being asked to go to the bathroom, like everything, is a solid «нет» And then she goes anyway
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 20:16
|
|
|
i dont know anything about raising kids, but it seems easy.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 20:40
|
|
|
i have a friend with a kid who had another on the way. he spent the entire day saturday sending jokes and linking youtube videos in our friend sms group chat. it was around 10pm when he said, "oh yeah, my son was born at 1am this morning, his balls are huge" so i just assume there's not much to it.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 20:47
|
|
|
CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:i dont know anything about raising kids, but it seems easy. it is mate billions done it not even that long ago eskimo’s did it in conditions none of us could survive in and they only had dead animals to live off or the desert or syria or a million places more hostile than a modern insulated home with less food etc if anything we need to make it harder , get back to our roots
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 20:49
|
|
|
I mean tbh if my wife’s coworkers are a good sample than going off how easy/laid back the average dad seems may be a bit off-base/dysfunctional
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 21:06
|
|
|
CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:i dont know anything about raising kids, but it seems easy. the main thing to remember is that according to the internet having a daughter makes you a cuck sorry, i don't make the rules
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 21:44
|
|
|
Arcteryx Anarchist posted:I mean tbh if my wife’s coworkers are a good sample than going off how easy/laid back the average dad seems may be a bit off-base/dysfunctional idk what you’re trying to say here but paranoid parents create a vibe where non paranoid parents are effectively bad parents for “not caring”.. I just don’t like to live my life in fear lol. some people love it. shoeberto posted:I'm hoping that having an extra decade of life experience compared to when my parents had us will help with that. Because there is a lot of stuff I'm realizing I picked up from my parents that fuuuucked me up. having the right attitude is the key, you’re never too young to change and grow, and having kids shines a light on yourself. the problem is when people say “this is just who I am”, and basically carry on cycles of abuse or disseminating anxiety as if it’s reasonable etc.
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 22:26
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 23:14
|
|
|
H.P. Hovercraft posted:when they're really little the force of their poops can explode out of the diaper in what's commonly called a "blowout" this happened twice in a day over the weekend, I kind of want to say "what have you been eating???" but I know what she's been eating and it still doesn't make sense
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 23:19
|
|
|
echinopsis posted:idk what you’re trying to say here someone talking about there not being that much to parenting because a friend that's a parent was super active in a group text might just mean more that they're kind of riding high on the old "second shift" horse also relating to my wife's coworkers experiences of needing familiar/professional childcare support regularly because their spouses/partners can't really be bothered for providing more than like a couple hours of gap coverage -- dad's there for the fun times not for everything else
|
|
#
?
Jan 18, 2021 23:54
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 15:00 |
|
|
President Beep posted:-don’t bother getting a diaper genie best advice so far
|
|
#
?
Jan 19, 2021 00:08
|
|
