LadyPictureShow posted:

My M 31) Wife (28) Wants A Divorce Because I Live An Entirely Different Reality With My First Love (F29) In My Dreams

move from New York to South Carolina with me which is where the biggest industry for my field is.

LadyPictureShow posted:

My M 31) Wife (28) Wants A Divorce Because I Live An Entirely Different Reality With My First Love (F29) In My Dreams
At first she that I was joking but when she realized I was serious, she accused me of cheating on her and told her mom and sisters who are calling me a cheating weirdo. She even threatened to tell my ex so she'll know what a "loving loser" I am.

op in the comments posted:

I don't think you can put an expiration date on love. Just because you're living different lives doesn't mean the love dies.

I do understand however that my feelings for my ex are extreme and my path towards processing them were extreme. But it's not an obsession, It's love.

I've never intrudes on my ex's life or crossed any boundaries nor will I, even though I think my marriage is ending.

kimbo305 posted:

Peaches? Plantation weddings?

kimbo305 posted:

Peaches? Plantation weddings?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Dazerbeams posted:

But why would you tell your wife??? In what world is it okay to have recurring dream dates with your ex?

Dazerbeams posted:

But why would you tell your wife??? In what world is it okay to have recurring dream dates with your ex?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

hazardousmouse posted:

Cause they're just dreams, who gives a gently caress. I dreamt I was spitting on the statue of an angel last night, who cares.

hazardousmouse posted:

Cause they're just dreams, who gives a gently caress. I dreamt I was spitting on the statue of an angel last night, who cares.

hazardousmouse posted:

Cause they're just dreams, who gives a gently caress. I dreamt I was spitting on the statue of an angel last night, who cares.

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

I'm pretty sure that was her original thought too, but he's the one insisting it's not just a dream "I've practiced going lucid so I've been able to control the outcome more times than not. We've lived a whole life together over the past year."

That's not cheating, but it's not just dreaming. It's the equivalent of spending time every other day writing fanfiction about an ex, which is loving weird.

lament.cfg posted:

Someone tell that guy about tulpas

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Sounds like the wife is detonating it because her husband dared to have a fantasy about another woman.

Stupid of him to say anything, though.

Haulin Oates posted:

Ugly Kid Joe did a cover in the 90's, it's pretty good.

Buttchocks posted:

Replace 'dreams' with 'holodeck' and see how pathetic and creepy it sounds.

LadyPictureShow posted:

My M 31) Wife (28) Wants A Divorce Because I Live An Entirely Different Reality With My First Love (F29) In My Dreams

quote:

Hello Reddit, long time lurker, first time poster. My daughter and I got into a huge fight about this (a couple years ago,) so I thought I would come to r/AmItheAsshole to see if I was in the wrong.

Here is where the story begins: My daughter (19) Tammi, has always dreamed of visiting the Florida Keys, every since she was little. She has always wanted to splurge and just take a big family trip, however when she was a kid, we were extremely tight on money due to my ex (however that is a whole other story in itself.) We could barely afford bills and dinner, let alone a big trip to an island.

Tammi got a job at 17 working as a cashier for our local grocery store, (it doesn't pay well but there weren't very many options as we live in a small town in Northern Montana,) and began to save up, she doesn't need to pay for college as I have put aside a fund for her, so I figured it was just money for herself.

However, Christmas of 2018 she surprised us all with tickets to the Florida Keys, (she bought for my wife Meg (51,) her younger brother (16) and I (52.) We were all so excited to go! Here is where the drama begins

When Tammi was a kid (10-11), she begged for a husky, so we got one, sadly, it passed away from cancer 2 years after we got him. Our family fell in love with huskies so we adopted 4 more.

2 of the huskies are special needs and dog sitters are really expensive and rare where we live and so we didn't want to spend our money. Our family has a rule where each time we go on vacation, one person has to stay home and we have a chart to make sure someone doesn't go twice in a row. This particular trip, it was Tammi's responsibility, and we have to follow this because I don't want people questioning my authority.

I tell Tammi about this and she laughs in my face, saying she's the one who payed for it so there is no way in hell that she isn't coming. I got really upset about this and she started telling me my ego was extremely fragile, I got really offended so I left the conversation.

Tammi is a really heavy sleeper and needs a loud alarm to wake her up, however I wasn't going to let her rudeness slide, I turned off her alarm and left her a note saying that it was her turn to take care of the dogs and we left without her. I told my wife that Tammi wasn't feeling good, and wished us the best. We got through security all okay and went to the Keys and enjoyed our vacation, honestly it was amazing, I turned my phone off so that I wouldn't get all her angry calls and could just spend the time in serenity.

When we got back from the vacation we found her at home and she began to berate us, calling me and my wife obscene names, and throwing things. I kicked her out of my house and told her she would no longer be welcome here since she has disrespected me and I won't let her in unless she apologizes and pays for the things she broke.

Eventually she apologized and payed for everything and now everything is fine. I have just been pondering this argument and wondering, so Reddit AITA?

quote:

my first reddit post, sorry for my ramble in advance.

after getting some blood work done at a doctors appointment, i (34/f) was waiting for my doctor to return, when a nurse came in. she congratulated me on my positive pregnancy results and said along the lines of oh sorry i should wait for the doctor to go over everything

i was stunned. i felt so many emotions at once and i started just sobbing instantly. my husband and i had decided 6 months prior that we should try to start a family.

i lost my him october 2020 to a car accident. the idea of him living on, even in that split second, had me so overcome that like i said i broke down. happy as hell, but still crying.

not even five seconds later she said " oh dont cry, im literally just messing with you haha dont worry youre not pregnant haha i can tell you dont want kids haha"

- whatever that means.

now im not proud of this, but i lost my poo poo. i called her a oval office and said some pretty awful things before leaving, not even waiting for the doctor to come back.

now, im thinking im a complete rear end in a top hat for laying into a young nurse who i assume was just trying to lighten the mood and would have no idea what ive been through with pregnancies.

quote:

Hi Reddit please help. My wife (30sf) and myself (30sm) are recently married <3yrs. She brought a child into the marriage, my stepdaughter (8ish).

My wife and I both work full time. She is in retail, I am in corporate. My salary is 5x higher than hers so she covers, school, healthcare for the two of them, her personal debt, clothes and some surprises/treats she buys for me, she is extremely generous with her money to a fault, she does get some child support but it does not cover everything.

On the other hand I cover the mortgage, utilities, food, entertainment (she pays sometimes), any unexpected expenses, holidays, transportation and such. I buy my stepdaughter presents and such when I travel and for special occasions, same for my wife.

My wife also suffers from anxiety/depression. She is medicated and in therapy.

Now she comes home then she almost immediately goes to cook and then dedicate time to spend with our daughter before dedicating some time with me. I always offer to assist with the cooking but she tells me no I am busy. In reality I am playing Xbox or doing something else entertaining and she can see me do it. I always tell her what I’m doing is not that important.

I kept offering to help but nothing came of it. I do wash the dishes and the majority of housework is done by our cleaner once a week, our apartment is tiny so it doesn’t get that dirty. I still feel like she has the short end of the stick when it comes to chores.

Now she has started an online learning as well, it’s a paid for course with a time limit. So after the cooking she jumps straight into studying. I have repeatedly offered help with meals and one day I managed to cook something but it was terrible so I feel like she would want me to cook even less.

WIBTA if I insisted on doing more of the cooking to give her more time to study? I can tell the deadline is stressing her out.

Edit: forgot to include that my wife often expresses a fear of losing me no matter how much I reassure her that won’t happen. This would be because of her first marriage. I feel like she thinks she has to do everything she does because it’s her duty and that way she won’t lose me.

Edit 2. Wow I cannot believe this is actually getting awards. Thank you so much. The advice from everyone is much appreciated. Just wanted to clear some stuff up.

We get a maid in once a week. She does the heavy chores. Eg bathroom/toilet/kitchen cleaning. Folding and ironing clothes. Vacuum/mopping. So the flat basically doesn’t need much done on the daily.

My step daughter is reluctant to spend a huge amount of time with me. I have tried and things have gotten better but I’ve learnt it’s best not to force anything here.

When I say I offer to help it’s not a lame offer. I am standing in the kitchen with her sometimes. I do offer to do all the small tasks but am virtually chased out of the kitchen. Sometimes she will specifically ask me to something like peeling garlic cloves, which I jump to do.

I can cook. She knows this. I know this. Cooking classes are not readily available where I live. Small city in a poor country. I normally cook with a recipe. She doesn’t. I wanted to surprise her so for the first time in a while I made a meal and it was a disaster. I didn’t follow a recipe.

We get home at the same time. She does not drive so I drop off and pick up.

Thank you all for the comments. This is far more than I expected and I appreciate all of the advice.

Hughlander posted:

WIBTA if I insist/put my foot down about helping my wife with housework?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for leaving my daughter behind on a trip that she paid for

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for leaving my daughter behind on a trip that she paid for

No words.

SirSamVimes posted:

I want to believe this isn't real. No person can be this monumentally self centred.

quote:

(TA since a few people know my main reddit. Also Happy MLK Jr day everybody)

My (21M) girlfriend (21F) and I have been together for almost a year now, and she's given me no reason to think of her as weird or crazy until now. She's in her second year of college, majoring in psych, and as far as I know she has no mental disorders. Our relationship has been great, save for the occasional argument, and we've gone as far as to talk about getting an apartment with each other over the summer.

Throw back to yesterday though. I was at work when I got a text asking me to go over to her place after so we can have "a talk". I asked what it was about and she wouldn't tell me anything. Naturally I thought it was something bad, like she wanted to break up or I did something wrong. Keep in mind that she texted me this at 10 in the morning, 2 hours into my 6 hour shift, so I was panicking over this for over 4 whole hours.

So I got to her place and she starts off my telling me that it's nothing bad (this already upset me since she wouldn't even tell me this on the phone) but that she realized that she finally trusts me enough to tell me something that she hasn't told any of her irls yet.

Basically she tells me that she identifies as an alien. She mentioned other kin and said that she is the reincarnation of an otherworldly being. Her "proof" of being an alien is that she can fire bend (???), she has urges to eat things humans can't (like cement and sand), and she has a deep connection to space, learning other languages, and ancient civilizations.

I thought she was joking at first but when she started talking about how she wants to get body mods to "reflect her true self", I realized she was serious. I asked if she was OK and she started whining about me not being supportive of her. I said she was acting crazy and that I needed time to think, and I left.

The rest of the day she was texting me every 10 minutes. It started with her yelling at me because she "thought I'd accept her", then saying how she was in the wrong because she shouldn't expect me to understand, then saying how she's sorry for springing it on me because I can't comprehend so much information at once, then asking if we can take some time to talk about it together.

I'm at a loss. I told my brother about it and he agreed that it was insane, but my sister on the other hand said I was being a lovely boyfriend for not at least being open minded. She said this wasn't worth "treating her like an idiot" and that I should set up time to talk about it with her like she wanted.

AITA if I don't want to be open minded about it? I think it's insane.

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA for being unsupportive of my "alien" girlfriend?

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA for being unsupportive of my "alien" girlfriend?

limp_cheese posted:

Why is Reddit saying this guy is an rear end in a top hat? I can't say I wouldn't react the same way if my girlfriend said she was an alien because she likes space, history, and eating sand.

Emily Spinach posted:

Didn't know Geordi was on reddit.

limp_cheese posted:

Why is Reddit saying this guy is an rear end in a top hat? I can't say I wouldn't react the same way if my girlfriend said she was an alien because she likes space, history, and eating sand.