slave to my cravings posted:

Wait barracudas are fish?

slave to my cravings posted:

I thought it was like a Tasmanian devil type of thing

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

slave to my cravings posted:

Something in between wolverine and badger

Skulk Hogan posted:

rap sheet entry

lepers colony posted:

To everyone reading the leper's colony, please note this guy, who thought that a barracuda was a land mammal (possibly marsupial?). This is, ostensibly, a living, breathing, human adult, who thought this. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours.

BattleSausage posted:

Braised heart of my executioner. BAM! Instant paradox.

I just realized I have condemned myself to an eternal time loop inside this prison cell. That's not funny at all

haveblue posted:

I have a cdr of mac os x snow leopard someone burned for me but he labeled it "ICE PUSSY" with a sharpie and I had to remember and explain that when someone found it

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

grizzled blue collar dad who had been looking forward to using this as an opportunity to encourage a healthy interest in girls in his kid hangs his head in shame upon learning what is really on the disk

Inspector Gesicht posted:

Not relevant to anything, but Thom Yorke looks like he got a blowjob in 1998 and it hasn't finished yet.

Johnny Truant posted:

So, follow me here

The Earth is a salad
Humans are a part of that salad
That means humans are an ingredient
Ingredients are food
Ergo, humans are food

Daktar posted:

You can't beat a good Donner kebab

WHY BONER NOW posted:

Does anyone have the old quote about how frat bros might high five each other as they bang hot chicks but meanwhile I'll have a much richer experience playing ff7

WHY BONER NOW posted:

Does anyone have the old quote about how frat bros might high five each other as they bang hot chicks but meanwhile I'll have a much richer experience playing ff7

Ratjaculation posted:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

quote:

PateraOctopus posted:
Alright, jerkfaces, time for a real man to enter this movie pitching game.

The film starts by establishing that the Pope is dying and it's only a matter of time before he passes on to the great pulpit in the sky. So our two heroes, who have heard of the fabled Stash of Saladin in the Vatican archives, trek to the Vatican knowing that everyone will be distracted preparing for the upcoming papal selection, and they plan to try to steal the weed. Hilarity ensues as they stumble through set piece after set piece, including the aforementioned communion-wafer munchies, a scene in which they hide a joint in what turns out to be a ceremonial censer and get an entire congregation a contact high, and I dunno, a scene where they need to fill a bong with holy water or something.

The climax comes when they're caught and pursued through the city by the Swiss Guard, and through a series of mishaps end up in the Room of Tears and disguise themselves in robes that they find there. They finally end up smoking their poo poo but get caught halfway through and run away, but since it's very special ancient weed the smoke ends up billowing white, so the group assembled in St. Peter's Square think a new Pope has been elected, and somehow the two end up on the balcony and everyone mistakes them for the Cardinal Protodeacon and the new Pope, so one of them has to give a speech (in a nod to The Great Dictator) and he ends up making a plea that everyone chill and be more real to each other and poo poo. And the speech goes over really well and everyone cheers and then we do a voice over by one of the guys saying that while he didn't actually become Pope everyone loved his speech so much that they were both given pardons by the real new Pope and they got the girls (earlier we will have established that they stirred some decidedly unchaste feelings in two young ladies who hadn't yet taken their final vows). Then after the credits we have a scene in which the new Pope goes down into the archive himself, locks the door behind him and takes a big hit off of Saladin's Stash and says "Ahhh...stercus bonus!" THE END

We call the film "The Most High," give it a tagline like "The dope is infallible" and release the fucker at Easter 2012. You're all welcome.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Seriously one of my favorite posts on this site and if you say you wouldn’t watch that movie you’re lying to yourself.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Seriously one of my favorite posts on this site and if you say you wouldn’t watch that movie you’re lying to yourself.

cumshitter posted:

Lol

Reminds me of a dumb movie idea I came up with while high where some frat bro physists go back in time to witness the birth of Christ and accidentally kill him. They draw straws to see who will replace Christ to preserve the time line knowing the loser dies on the cross.

It ends with them visiting their buddy at Golgatha and putting a beer hat on their bro's head to ease his pain. They tell themselves they will come back and remove the beer hat but when they return to the present they see the Pope wearing one and decide that no, this is good.

My Lovely Horse posted:

That very clearly needs to star the same dudes that were in The Most High, too

or chicks, not picky. Actually is there a stoner movie starring ladies? It's always two guys, isn't it (one kinda straightlaced, one full on weed hoodie and rasta hat)?

e: I keep thinking Encino Man was a stoner movie because it has that archetype of main character duo, but it's not, even though the one guy's name is Stoney. Imagine that movie if they thawed out Brendan Fraser and decided, let's get this dude greened up.

cumshitter posted:

Lol

Reminds me of a dumb movie idea I came up with while high where some frat bro physists go back in time to witness the birth of Christ and accidentally kill him. They draw straws to see who will replace Christ to preserve the time line knowing the loser dies on the cross.

It ends with them visiting their buddy at Golgatha and putting a beer hat on their bro's head to ease his pain. They tell themselves they will come back and remove the beer hat but when they return to the present they see the Pope wearing one and decide that no, this is good.

Captain Monkey posted:

Would be a good sequel to The Most High. Make it about a group of stoners in a more modern/stoner Animal House who are going to host a house party. They get into an argument about how to have the dankest weed and decide to go back in time and meet the chillest bro of them all, Jesus. They meet him at his ‘mad at the money changers’ phase and introduce him to weed (obligatory Feeding the Multitude but joints, water to wine, Mary Jane Magdalene, a few others.)

End with Jesus showing up at the party for the Second Coming where the abysmal party is saved because they taught Jesus to party.

Call it The Most High 2: Sacred Host.

rodbeard posted:

cumshitter posted:

Lol

Reminds me of a dumb movie idea I came up with while high where some frat bro physists go back in time to witness the birth of Christ and accidentally kill him. They draw straws to see who will replace Christ to preserve the time line knowing the loser dies on the cross.

It ends with them visiting their buddy at Golgatha and putting a beer hat on their bro's head to ease his pain. They tell themselves they will come back and remove the beer hat but when they return to the present they see the Pope wearing one and decide that no, this is good.

ultrafilter posted:

Check the probe reason on this one.

McCracAttack posted:

McCracAttack posted:

Serious question, what's the worst case scenario if you move to say Austin, TX? What are you worried will happen if you move to a liberal city in a conservative state?

Well, don't I feel silly now?

Captain Monkey posted:

Would be a good sequel to The Most High. Make it about a group of stoners in a more modern/stoner Animal House who are going to host a house party. They get into an argument about how to have the dankest weed and decide to go back in time and meet the chillest bro of them all, Jesus. They meet him at his ‘mad at the money changers’ phase and introduce him to weed (obligatory Feeding the Multitude but joints, water to wine, Mary Jane Magdalene, a few others.)

End with Jesus showing up at the party for the and saves it because they taught Jesus to be cool. Their joints are turned into endless ones, their tap dispenses beer, and Jesus - who has previously been given the confidence he needed to hook up with MJ Magdalene looks over at a co-ed played by the same actress and goes ‘time for my Second Coming’ as the movie cuts to credits.

Call it The Most High 2: Sacred Host.

Gutter Phoenix posted:

Steve Scalise's brain is more mangled and dysfunctional than his tattered genitals? I am shocked.



https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/feb/21/steve-scalise-trump-biden-election-abc-jonathan-karl

sweet thursday posted:

I bet he was disappointed when he found out what the minority whip actually did

3D Megadoodoo posted:

The thing with raising awareness is that educated and intelligent people are actually pretty well aware of this poo poo I mean it's not exactly secret. Do you really want to make ignorant and stupid people aware of anything? Usually they try to eat/gently caress/kill/all of the above new things they become aware of.

Jeek posted:

Hey, don't diss awareness-raising activities - I learnt about manic people and how suicide by wilderness works in this thread.

some plague rats posted:

Hello kids I'm Officer Potato O'Racecrime, and I'm here to explain why back in my day if you saw a guy wearing a belt but no hat you were allowed to crack his skull and take his pocket watch, [5000 words later] and that's why it's bullshit I'm not allowed near my grandkids
Some goon in PYF: this guy's fine legal mind is not allowing him to see the bad impression his words could create

queserasera posted:

queserasera posted:

queserasera posted:

Humphreys posted:

LOL at the XXS buttplugs. A kid I knew at a sleep over was shoving marbles up his rear end for a while through out the night then exclaimed he's gonna poop them out. Broke the bowl he did.

PUPPY PUZZLE posted:

12th grade, our final was supposed to be an oral presentation, with a visual aid. we had 3 weeks in class to work on it and i slept. the night before some friends and i popped a tape in the vcr and recorded ourselves playing grand theft auto 3, no missions or anything, just random killings and car accidents and other wrong and violent things. next day, i get up there to do my oral presentation, my teacher chimes in "oh, this should be good" i simply said "oh it will be", i then popped in my tape and pushed play. i then narrated what was happening on screen to the class (Ex. "see now that's me shooting the innocent bystander in the head, then beating up the old lady with a bat"), the video was 8 minutes long, and after it stopped i got a roaring ovation from the class, then i fielded questions about my subject and sat down. not only did i get an a, but the teacher told me he bought a ps2 and that game.

Captain Monkey posted:

This isn't the stdh thread.

nubdestoryer posted:

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Captain Monkey posted:

This isn't the stdh thread.

Facebook Aunt posted:

That was 2002. This guy invented the Let's Play.

Macdeo Lurjtux posted:

Come to think of it, I've never seen George Lucas and Ned Beatty in the room together at the same time.

BrigadierSensible posted:

Well you obviously don't go to the same BDSM orgies that I do.