Americana.jpg: This place makes me so sad. I will be coming back

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Americana.jpg: This place makes me so sad. I will be coming back

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AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Bonzo posted:

You dipped them in Ranch right? It's OK, you can tell us.

I should have. They were insanely dry

# ? Mar 24, 2021 17:36

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# ? May 22, 2024 10:15

A Pack of Kobolds: Mar 23, 2007

Aardvark! posted:

I should have. They were insanely dry

You should still probably be within 15 feet of a toilet for the next several hours.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 17:42

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

Goosey Lee posted:

cursory research backs you up.

I�ve adjusted my formula to account for brainworms; if Jeannie C. Riley voted for Trump, please no one tell me about it.

Isn't he canadian

# ? Mar 24, 2021 17:59

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Aardvark! posted:

ate a very Americana breakfast today

Lmao I saw these in the store the other day and thought of this and the AFP thread.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 18:11

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Aardvark! posted:

I should have. They were insanely dry

# ? Mar 24, 2021 19:07

Paladin: Nov 26, 2004; You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.

Bonzo posted:

You dipped them in Ranch right? It's OK, you can tell us.

I wonder if we'll see Breakfast Ranch Dressing released before 2030.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 20:56

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Paladin posted:

I wonder if we'll see Breakfast Ranch Dressing released before 2030.

Now with Real Syrup!*

_{*Sugar With Artificial Maple Flavoring}

# ? Mar 24, 2021 20:59

CPL593H: Oct 28, 2009; I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.

Paladin posted:

I wonder if we'll see Breakfast Ranch Dressing released before 2030.

You're under the mistaken impression that someone who would want that doesn't already put regular ranch dressing on their breakfast.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 21:09

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

"twisted ranch. twisted ranch. twisted ranch. twisted ranch. twisted ranch. twisted ranch." i mutter in an unceasing stream of babble as they strap me onto the stretcher and load me into the ambulance.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 21:20

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

my fridge is like 2/3rds sauces for applying to things (the remaining 1/3rd is cheese) so i would try some of those probably. ironically i dont think theres any ranch in there right now though :thunk:

also, i thought that said "Greesy Smoked Bacon" and i appreciated the honesty

# ? Mar 24, 2021 21:27

redgubbinz: May 1, 2007

Paladin posted:

I wonder if we'll see Breakfast Ranch Dressing released before 2030.

It's all corn syrup anyway, just add a little maple flavoring to the ranch and away we go

# ? Mar 24, 2021 21:28

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Ranch flavored personal lubricant "Raunch"

# ? Mar 24, 2021 21:52

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

cool raunch rear end dippers

# ? Mar 24, 2021 21:57

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Big Beef City posted:

Ranch flavored personal lubricant "Raunch"

Cum + Ranch: Cranch

# ? Mar 24, 2021 21:58

A Pack of Kobolds: Mar 23, 2007

Waterbed Wendy posted:

cool raunch rear end dippers

Condiments for eating rear end

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:00

redgubbinz: May 1, 2007

Add some ketchup and paprika, call it Franch.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:01

A Pack of Kobolds: Mar 23, 2007

Ranus

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:02

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

Ranus

there it is

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:02

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

Ranus

Ranus falling from the sky into my gaping chasm

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:06

Luna: May 31, 2001; A hand full of seeds and a mouthful of dirt

Waterbed Wendy posted:

Ranus falling from the sky into my gaping anus

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:09

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Bonzo posted:

You dipped them in Ranch right? It's OK, you can tell us.

I was thinking gravy.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:12

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

LifeSunDeath posted:

Cum + Ranch: Cranch

they should have a brothel called the Cum Ranch

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:13

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 22:17

Deeters: Aug 21, 2007

Americans love ranch so much that Hidden Valley had to make it without milk:

https://www.hiddenvalley.com/products/bottled-dressings-dips/light-fat-free-organic-and-plant-powered/plant-powered-ranch/

# ? Mar 24, 2021 23:04

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

we must pinpoint the location of the Hidden Valley so we can destroy it.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 23:05

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

come on down to my ranchstaurant and try all 36 flavors of ranch!

Today's flavor: meat

# ? Mar 24, 2021 23:05

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

and for dessert, a nice ranch brulee

# ? Mar 24, 2021 23:08

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

uber_stoat posted:

we must pinpoint the location of the Hidden Valley so we can destroy it.

Get to it, just don't bring Veronica along.

# ? Mar 24, 2021 23:09

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Aardvark! posted:

come on down to my ranchstaurant and try all 36 flavors of ranch!

Today's flavor: meat

this is some real Tom Goes to the Mayor poo poo. Jefferton Alive!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAQSjzHVBWs

# ? Mar 24, 2021 23:10

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Trying to invade the thousand islands and causing an international incident

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:05

CPL593H: Oct 28, 2009; I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.

I went to an Eric Andre live show and it ended with him coming out for an encore and then getting three guys from the audience to chug a bottle of ranch dressing. He even had a trashcan on standby incase any of them vomited. I think the most disturbing part of that whole display is that none of them did.

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:22

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Milo and POTUS posted:

Trying to invade the thousand islands and causing an international incident

veterans of the Thousand Islands campaign often present clinically with a condition colloquially as "Thousand Island Stare."

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:26

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Aardvark! posted:

ate a very Americana breakfast today

Get this headfucked sausage roll out of my face. I'm triggered

:australia:

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:30

A Pack of Kobolds: Mar 23, 2007

Outrail posted:

Get this headfucked sausage roll out of my face. I'm triggered

It's like a sausage roll ... FOR BREAKFAST!!!

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:31

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

that ham looks nice and gelatinous. looks like H'amb.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6htQAxTNF0g

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:38

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

All alcohol is ethanol so I drink it.

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:44

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

It's like a sausage roll ... FOR BREAKFAST!!!

A breakfast sausage roll would still be called a sausage roll. But usually purchased for smoko from a servo by a tradie (sparkie, chippie etc) with an iced coffee.

Egg and ham wrapped in pastry pretending to be a biscuit is just weird.

# ? Mar 25, 2021 00:44