PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

«‹›476 »

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

Polyseme posted:

I asked for "beige for goons" and my partner delivered:

Bonus points if you can guess everything.

newborn clownfish

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 21:48

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

spankmeister posted:

Did you forget about the horse meat incident?

neigh!

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:16

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Pastry of the Year posted:

A discussion earlier in this thread has directly led to my now having an olive loaf in the oven.

I really need to look into this because I have never heard of olive bread and I loving LOVE olives

Whenever anyone itt has said "olive loaf" my brain went only one place:

I do not love this

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:18

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

The Bloop posted:

I really need to look into this because I have never heard of olive bread and I loving LOVE olives

Whenever anyone itt has said "olive loaf" my brain went only one place:

I do not love this

i've never tried that, never will. i see it in the grocery store and there's an instinctive revulsion, like looking at a maggot, something deep in my reptile brain tells me to avoid it.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:20

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

It's alright in a sandwich as long as you can't see it.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:21

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

We had it a bunch when I was a kid for whatever reason, it always seemed pretty good to me, but I've always liked olives

Course looking at it now I find it pretty hilarious that they put stuffed olives into the meat and slice that, pimento and all, that just seems sort of goofy

(Then again I guess having voids in the middle of the slices would be even weirder)

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:29

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Wont lie, I used to rather quite like

But I haven't tried any in a long time.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:40

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

live fast, eat olives

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:43

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Aw dang that looks like good bread

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:44

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

The Bloop posted:

in oh tyol 1956 let's say my grandmother asked my father if he liked olive loaf. he said sure, he liked it fine.

she made his entire year's worth of school lunch sandwiches and put them in the freezer.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:45

mds2: Apr 8, 2004; Australia: 131114
Canada: 18662773553
Germany: 08001810771
India: 8888817666
Japan: 810352869090
Russia: 0078202577577
UK: 08457909090
US: 1-800-273-8255

Cheese loaf and olive loaf are staples at my parents house. I�ve eaten many loaf meat sandwiches in my life.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 21:59

more falafel please: Feb 26, 2005; forums poster

Pastry of the Year posted:

live fast, eat olives

Nothing is more old-school than baking your own drat staff of life.

A dude who can walk into any kitchen in the world and make bread is COMPLETELY RAW!

# ? Apr 14, 2021 22:00

Clyde Radcliffe: Oct 19, 2014

The Bloop posted:

I really need to look into this because I have never heard of olive bread and I loving LOVE olives

Whenever anyone itt has said "olive loaf" my brain went only one place:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNkgDJpcuwU

# ? Apr 14, 2021 22:15

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

The Bloop posted:

I really need to look into this because I have never heard of olive bread and I loving LOVE olives

Whenever anyone itt has said "olive loaf" my brain went only one place:

I do not love this

Ah so kind of like mortadella, but bad.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 22:16

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

spankmeister posted:

Ah so kind of like mortadella, but bad.

Both things can be bad

# ? Apr 14, 2021 22:21

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

The Bloop posted:

I really need to look into this because I have never heard of olive bread and I loving LOVE olives

Whenever anyone itt has said "olive loaf" my brain went only one place:

I do not love this

had this and the cheese loaf a few times as a kid, it feels like trash, it makes your kid brain understand how weird processed meat is, it's just traumatizing.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 22:35

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Horse meat is good if it's from a foal. Real soft meat.

It's only looked down on because it used to be poor people food and also Germanic pagans used to sacrifice and eat horses at their religious ceremonies. In between the human sacrifice (which wasn't eaten).

FreudianSlippers has a new favorite as of 23:03 on Apr 14, 2021

# ? Apr 14, 2021 23:00

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

It's also looked down on because horses, to a far lesser degree but in a similar fashion to dogs, trust us.

They have a role far more emotional than "food" and even though pigs etc are objectively smarter, their cultural role is basically livestock, not companion.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 23:07

dog nougat: Apr 8, 2009

https://skillet.lifehacker.com/things-you-should-be-buttering-but-probably-arent-1846674471

Edit: the most egregious thing here is using salted butter for baking.

Butter on potato chips is also not good, I'm sure it tastes ~~great~~ ok, but crispy, oil saturated potato slices don't need extra fat :colbert:

(unless it's sour cream based)

dog nougat has a new favorite as of 01:08 on Apr 15, 2021

# ? Apr 15, 2021 01:02

Fantastic Foreskin: Jan 6, 2013; A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

Or peanut butter.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 01:10

drrockso20: May 6, 2013; Has Not Actually Done Cocaine

Fantastic Foreskin posted:

Or peanut butter.

Or Hummus

# ? Apr 15, 2021 03:13

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Elviscat posted:

Aw dang that looks like good bread

It turned out really good, like, ignore the rest of your dinner good. You should definitely have this with red wine.

Here's the recipe I used: https://foolproofliving.com/wprm_print/26009/

I linked to the "print this recipe" URL but I imagine anyone reading this can find their way back to the source page if they want the usual recipe anecdote and etc.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 03:27

Mymla: Aug 12, 2010

dog nougat posted:

Edit: the most egregious thing here is using salted butter for baking.

I use salted butter for baking and still add more salt to almost everything I bake. Please put salt in your cookie dough.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 07:08

Clyde Radcliffe: Oct 19, 2014

Two types of butter, cheap for cooking and fancy chip dipping butter that's ... Kerrygold?

Kerrygold is fine, but it's the brand name for all generic butter sold by the Irish government's Dairy Board. There's nothing special about it and I can't think of any cheaper brand here that isn't a "butter-style spread". Maybe it's more expensive in the US because it has to be imported, but butter has 2 ingredients - cream and salt. It's going to taste pretty much the same no matter where it comes from.

edit: Just tried the crisp thing. It's unpleasant. Butter is great when served on something that partially melts it and absorbs the butter.

Using a potato chip or cracker to deliver solid butter into your mouth is just denial that what you really want to do is sit down with a spoon and eat butter from the tub.

Clyde Radcliffe has a new favorite as of 08:18 on Apr 15, 2021

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:08

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

FreudianSlippers posted:

Horse meat is good if it's from a foal. Real soft meat.

foal loaf

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:16

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Clyde Radcliffe posted:

Two types of butter, cheap for cooking and fancy chip dipping butter that's ... Kerrygold?

Kerrygold is fine, but it's the brand name for all generic butter sold by the Irish government's Dairy Board. There's nothing special about it and I can't think of any cheaper brand here that isn't a "butter-style spread". Maybe it's more expensive in the US because it has to be imported, but butter has 2 ingredients - cream and salt. It's going to taste pretty much the same no matter where it comes from.

Cream itself has different "ingredients" based on the cow's diet and health. They deliberately change the cow's diet to manipulate the amount of protein and butterfat in milk. In Canada room temperature butter has become firmer because they are feeding the cows more palm oil, which leads to more palmitic fatty acid in the resulting milk.

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/is-your-butter-harder-than-usual-a-common-feed-ingredient-could-have-something-to-do-with-it

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:21

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

FreudianSlippers posted:

Horse meat is good if it's from a foal. Real soft meat.

It's only looked down on because it used to be poor people food and also Germanic pagans used to sacrifice and eat horses at their religious ceremonies. In between the human sacrifice (which wasn't eaten).

Horse is good, donkey is better.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:28

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Clyde Radcliffe posted:

Two types of butter, cheap for cooking and fancy chip dipping butter that's ... Kerrygold?

Kerrygold is fine, but it's the brand name for all generic butter sold by the Irish government's Dairy Board. There's nothing special about it and I can't think of any cheaper brand here that isn't a "butter-style spread". Maybe it's more expensive in the US because it has to be imported, but butter has 2 ingredients - cream and salt. It's going to taste pretty much the same no matter where it comes from.

edit: Just tried the crisp thing. It's unpleasant. Butter is great when served on something that partially melts it and absorbs the butter.

Using a potato chip or cracker to deliver solid butter into your mouth is just denial that what you really want to do is sit down with a spoon and eat butter from the tub.

Thank you for your service in the battle of "should I put cold butter on crisps" :patriot:

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:34

Gromit: Aug 15, 2000; I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!

gschmidl posted:

Horse is good, donkey is better.

I'd like to try horse but it's impossible to get here. Camel is excellent.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:35

Butterfly Valley: Apr 19, 2007; I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Clyde Radcliffe posted:

butter has 2 ingredients - cream and salt. It's going to taste pretty much the same no matter where it comes from.

Lol no

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:55

Ninurta: Sep 19, 2007; What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

Cartoon Man posted:

What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 09:56

Ninurta: Sep 19, 2007; What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

Cartoon Man posted:

What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 10:47

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Empty Sandwich posted:

in oh tyol 1956 let's say my grandmother asked my father if he liked olive loaf. he said sure, he liked it fine.

she made his entire year's worth of school lunch sandwiches and put them in the freezer.

I still can't eat corned beef sandwich for broadly this reason, my mother fed me them every day for lunch for about a year.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 11:05

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

My mother force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was 26 1/2 years old

# ? Apr 15, 2021 11:37

Zanael: Jan 30, 2007; Finn 3:16 says I just licorice
whipped your peppermint ass

Pastry of the Year posted:

live fast, eat olives

I see your olive bun, and raise with a fougasse

# ? Apr 15, 2021 11:50

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Clyde Radcliffe posted:

Two types of butter, cheap for cooking and fancy chip dipping butter that's ... Kerrygold?

Kerrygold is fine, but it's the brand name for all generic butter sold by the Irish government's Dairy Board. There's nothing special about it and I can't think of any cheaper brand here that isn't a "butter-style spread". Maybe it's more expensive in the US because it has to be imported, but butter has 2 ingredients - cream and salt. It's going to taste pretty much the same no matter where it comes from.

edit: Just tried the crisp thing. It's unpleasant. Butter is great when served on something that partially melts it and absorbs the butter.

Using a potato chip or cracker to deliver solid butter into your mouth is just denial that what you really want to do is sit down with a spoon and eat butter from the tub.

The US is backwards. We can get as much butyric acid that we want from chocolate but if we want it in it's name sake we gotta import the Irish poo poo.

You can occasionally find domestic "european style" butter that met a fermenting organism once in a roundabout way but Kerrygold or Finlandia tend to be the most reliable way to get that full strength butter flavor.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 13:33

Bibliotechno Music: Dec 30, 2008

A lot of smaller US dairy producers do make and sell really good cultured butter � but it can be hard to find anywhere that�s not either a city or a rural farmstand. Suburbanites, you made your beds on this one and now you get no good butter.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 13:46