r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

Soylent Pudding posted:

Future fodder for the estranged parents thread.

AITA for taking away my daughter�s electronic devices because she lied to me?

The level of narcissism it takes to receive overwhelming criticism and continue to insist that everyone else is wrong is staggering.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:28

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:54

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Soylent Pudding posted:

Future fodder for the estranged parents thread.

AITA for taking away my daughter�s electronic devices because she lied to me?

And OPs comments

And then that mother stood up, and it was Adolphina Hitler

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:28

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

quote:

There�s a reason I wanted to keep the no secret policy in place: so that we can be a happy family and literally avoid situations like the one we�re in now.

It sure is a good thing that she had the foresight to institute a no-secret policy to avoid situations like the one created explicitly by the no-secret policy.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:34

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Soylent Pudding posted:

Future fodder for the estranged parents thread.

AITA for taking away my daughter�s electronic devices because she lied to me?

And OPs comments

This woman is going to get arrested at some point for stalking her daughter once she goes no contact. The �You�re a lovely parent if you�re not best friends with your kids� is loving chilling.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Big fan of her thinking books about parenting apparently only cover toddlers and infants.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:37

Willatron: Sep 22, 2009

My mom is too much of a loving nerd to ever be my friend.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:43

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Willatron posted:

My mom is too much of a loving nerd to ever be my friend.

Normalize 👏 giving 👏parents 👏
wedgies

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:47

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

No Moms! No Masters!

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:48

Lascivious Sloth: Apr 26, 2008; by sebmojo

Soylent Pudding posted:

Future fodder for the estranged parents thread.

AITA for taking away my daughter�s electronic devices because she lied to me?

And OPs comments

yikes, what a psycho

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:49

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

oh jay posted:

Normalize 👏 giving 👏parents 👏
wedgies

# ? Jun 29, 2021 19:59

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My [17m] girlfriend [17f] gets mad when I get boners around her in non-sexual situations. How to get her to be more understanding?

quote:

Basically my girlfriend thinks that if I get a boner it�s because I am thinking about sex and she doesn�t like it unless we are alone in her room, etc.

Like, a few days ago I went to her and laid on top of her in bed, I wasn�t trying to make a move, I just wanted to cuddle. Then she felt my boner and got mad, said her stomach ached and was having her period so wasn�t up for sex. I was like �I didn�t say anything about sex? I�m just cuddling you?�.

She replied that I had a boner so I was thinking of sex. I said �no? sometimes I get a boner walking down the street thinking about math homework?�. Also I get boners when we cuddle even if I�m not thinking about actual sex, I�m just a dude that likes girls and am close to a girl who is my girlfriend.

After that she insisted it meant I was �always� thinking about sex and couldn�t help it even when having a normal interaction with her.

How to get her to see that random boners are a thing and even if get a boner around her it doesn�t mean I�m gonna make a move right now?

tl;dr: GF thinks random boners mean I�m thinking about sex 24/7 and can�t control myself around her. How to get her to be more understanding?

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:11

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [17m] girlfriend [17f] gets mad when I get boners around her in non-sexual situations. How to get her to be more understanding?

Ah, to be a 17 year old boy again...

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:13

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

quote:

AITA for taking away my daughter�s electronic devices because she lied to me?
I�ve always been known as �the cool mom� (I didn�t give that title to myself) so I figured my kids wouldn�t have any issues with being honest with me since I get it.

I'd love to know who actually gave OP the "cool mom" title, because there is a 0% chance it was her own kids. No teenager in history has thought their own parents are cool.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:16

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Remember waking up in class from a wicked nap only to hear the bell and feel the tautness of trouser caused by your raging huge mega boner?

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:16

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

MagusofStars posted:

I'd love to know who actually gave OP the "cool mom" title, because there is a 0% chance it was her own kids. No teenager in history has thought their own parents are cool.

A teenager that drank alcohol or smoked weed at their house.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:17

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

MagusofStars posted:

I'd love to know who actually gave OP the "cool mom" title, because there is a 0% chance it was her own kids. No teenager in history has thought their own parents are cool.

willing to put my "similar hosed up childhood with one of these people" poker chip on it was one of her kids trying to performatively suck up to their mom in the hopes that it would curry future favor

And it didn't work, either

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [17m] girlfriend [17f] gets mad when I get boners around her in non-sexual situations. How to get her to be more understanding?

Well why didn�t she just hold her period in??????

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:22

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

kntfkr posted:

Remember waking up in class from a wicked nap only to hear the bell and feel the tautness of trouser caused by your raging huge mega boner?

Yeah, but only math class.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:30

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Ghost Leviathan posted:

A lot of people don't actually have any idea what financial responsibility is.

Financial responsibility is when you give me money for no reason.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:37

Lascivious Sloth: Apr 26, 2008; by sebmojo

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [17m] girlfriend [17f] gets mad when I get boners around her in non-sexual situations. How to get her to be more understanding?

Ironic we live in the age of easily accessible information but people are too stupid to make a basic google search. https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/random-erections

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:40

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

The mother's insistence that you have to immediately report any realizations you have about your sexuality, gender, etc. is particularly horrifying. In her household you are immediately expected to come out to her if you have an errant homosexual thought. She wants her children to treat her as a psychologist and everything that happens to them as a traumatic event that must be discussed immediately with no realization that kids need some privacy to work through poo poo in their own way.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Financial responsibility is when you give me money for no reason.

This is true in my case. Give me your money.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:50

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Lascivious Sloth posted:

Ironic we live in the age of easily accessible information but people are too stupid to make a basic google search.

You won�t go searching up information if you think you already know the answer.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:57

WaywardWoodwose: May 19, 2008; The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

I had a girlfriend like this for a while, in hindsight it was really hosed up. she wanted a lot of physical affection ( one time she woke me up in the middle of the night for a ten minute hug in the parking lot of my apartment because she had a bad day), but whenever i asked for anything, like resting my head in her lap while we watched a movie she would get really snide and lovely. like, if you don't want that right now, just say so, don't demean me for asking for affection. she hated my random erections, like she would get genuinely angry at them sometimes. a couple of months after we had stopped seeing each other I realized I only got physical affection during or just after sex. I had been conditioned to get boners.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 20:58

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

It's also just a completely normal part of being a teenager. You are, biochemically speaking, a complete mess that's barely holding together and obeying the brain.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:00

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

I would be creeped the gently caress OUT if I were my child's best friend. I mean, they need friends their own ages! Friends who have a different perspective! Friends they talk to about things that (shock horror) they don't want their parents to know.

This lady doesn't want a child, she wants a symbiote.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:07

compshateme85: Jan 28, 2009; Oh you like racoons? Name three of their songs. You dope.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

This lady doesn't want a child, she wants a symbiote.

Has anyone pointed out to her that you can't just tell someone who their best friend is? Doesn't work with adults, why would it work with kids. When the girl turns 18 she's gone. Ghosted by her "best friend".

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:14

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Tobermory posted:

It seems like just a bog-standard golden child dynamic, where the stepmom thought the fiancee was "too good" for her non-biological child. See also the stepmom forcing the OP to watch his stepbrother propose.

It was a real power flex, for sure.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:19

TengenNewsEditor: Apr 3, 2004

i've always been known as ~~"the cool mom"~~ "panopticon mom"

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:21

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

TengenNewsEditor posted:

i've always been known as ~~"the cool mom"~~ "panopticon mom"

You can't spell Palantir without Pal

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:22

TengenNewsEditor: Apr 3, 2004

DandyLion posted:

You can't spell Palantir without Pal

no mom, they're saying "Foucault mom"

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:24

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Lascivious Sloth posted:

Ironic we live in the age of easily accessible information but people are too stupid to make a basic google search. https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/random-erections

I mean, you have adult men admonishing girls to stop having periods so...

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:27

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for saying no to helping my cousin find a job by referring her to the place I work at? (self.AmItheAsshole)

quote:

My cousin is 22. I�m 25. My cousin hasn�t worked since September 2019 when she got fired from her last job, which is the one I was working at and referred her too. She got fired for dumping bottles of fart spray in the elevator, mouthing off to everyone, loudly complaining how she hates the job and her boss, taking long breaks and half assing her work. I quit my job shortly after she got fired because it looked bad on me and I was embarrassed. Everyone knew she was my cousin. I liked that job and was there for 2 years.

I think She started working in 2017 and she hasn�t been able to keep any job she�s had for longer than two months sometimes less than that. She got fired from all of them. I know the one she got fired from one of the jobs because she was underage drinking in the break room and smoking we Ed , she posted all about it online and another one she got caught having s ex with her coworker who was dating another coworker at the time and they got into a fight. Another one she hated this girl she worked with so she was spreading rumors about her and trying to get her in trouble, just a bunch of immature poo poo. I want to say she has probably gone through probably around 14 or 15 different jobs.

I currently work as a CNA at a retirement center, I�ve been working here for about a year now. My job has radio ads out there claiming they are hiring for servers or hospitality aids, which require no experience, and I guess my aunt wants my cousin to get a job because she�s sick of paying for her. My cousin has been applying for a few months but hasn�t had many callbacks. Gee I wonder why..anyways, my aunt suggested to my mom that I refer her to my workplace because I got her a job before. My mom brought this up to me and I refuse. Knowing how she previously acted, no way. It will look bad on me if she does something and I will have to find another job. My mom got mad and told me to call my aunt and explain why I won�t help family members out.

I called my aunt and told her I�m sorry she can�t find a job but I�m not referring her, not after what she did last time. It will look bad on me. She can apply if she wants but I am not referring her. My aunt called me selfish because she�s family and yea she hosed up but she�s matured and she deserves another chance to work like everybody else I said ok then she can go to their website and apply and my aunt said she�s more likely to get the job if a family member refers her it�s not all about you your cousin needs a job to. I said I never said it was about me but I have a job to maintain too. My aunt told me to let go off the grudge and that was years ago..since when is 2019 years ago?? And she said my cousin can�t find a job and she�s applied to so many and I said that�s not my problem and hung up.

Then she called my mom and started yelling at her about how rude and inconsiderate I was being, and my mom yelled at me. I just left for work and I�m at a starbucks typing this..aita?

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:28

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for saying no to helping my cousin find a job by referring her to the place I work at? (self.AmItheAsshole)

14-15 jobs by age 22.

This woman's resume must be a loving entertaining (and lengthy) read.

William Bear fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jun 29, 2021

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:31

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Just say ok I�ll put in a good word and do the opposite.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:43

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Upgrade posted:

Just say ok I’ll put in a good word and do the opposite.

yeah I'll get right on that

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:57

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

OP finds out he only shares 29% of his DNA with his father. poo poo blows up, and family falls apart.

quote:

Original

My dad and I got our results back and we only 29.2%. Shouldn't it be 50%? It says he's predicted to be my half brother which is impossible. My cousin had also tested with 23andme a while back and we share 24.6% which I think is high given we're 1st cousins. 23andme predicts us to be half-siblings as well. My dad and I also share the same Y haplogroup and we look so much alike so he's defiantly my dad. I'm really baffled at the moment. Is there anyway the percentages are wrong? I can't think of a genetic relationship that would explain what we're seeing. Plz help

Update

We've all been seeing the recent craze of DNA testing and whatnot, so my dad and I decided to jump in the bandwagon and we bought 2 from 23andme. We got our results back a few days ago and I went into the DNA relatives section to check out my matches. At the top it listed my dad as only sharing 29.2% DNA with me and being predicted to be a half-brother, which is impossible. This didn't make sense to me since we also shared a paternal haplogroup and we just look so alike, so he was definitely my father. My cousin also had taken the test a while back and she shared 24.6% with me, also predicted to be my half-sibling. We're supposed to share around 12%, being 1st cousins.

I couldn't think of a genetic relationship that would explain what I was seeing and I had doubts in the accuracy of the percentages, so I made this post on r/23andme, asking for help. Basically, the shared percentages are extremely accurate and highly unlikely to be false. The only realistic explanation for what I was seeing was that my uncle, my cousin's father and my dad's brother, is my father. Reality hit me in the face like a flying bag of bricks. All the dots lined up and I felt a sense of loss. I sat in my room for an hour just in shock and then I had a feeling of anger come over me. I needed some loving answers.

Without even thinking, I rushed out of my room and confronted my mother downstairs. My mom is a business women and is often away on business trips. She had no idea my dad and I had done one of these tests since she was away on a trip and just got back. My mother and I never had a 'traditional' relationship. She was always focused on her work and my dad ended up mostly raising me.

My irrational self didn't even sugar coat it. I asked her if she cheated on dad with Uncle David (name changed for obv reasons). I have never seen the color drain from someone's face so quickly. She looked dumbfounded and then mumbled "What kind of question is this? Of course not." I told her everything; the test, percentages, DNA matches, ALL OF IT!! poo poo hit the fan. My mom fell to the ground crying, begging me not to tell dad.

I left her there and went back into my room. I called my cousin (now half sibling) and told her everything. She ended the call screaming. Dad (now uncle) then came home and stumbled into my room asking what's wrong with mom. I told him everything too. He didn't say anything after calming down. He left the room and I locked the door.

For the next few hours, I heard my entire family fall apart outside my door. My parents got into a heated argument and my grandparents rushed over to see what was going on. My aunt in law and David showed up shortly later and I'm pretty sure I heard my Dad and David get into some physical fight. Utter chaos.

I feel like loving poo poo. Ik it's not my fault but I can't help feeling that this is all because of me. If I had spent my loving birthday money on something else, none of this would have happened, but another part of me is glad to know the truth. I'm too scared to go outside. I don't even know what the outcome was. The only noise I hear in the house now is the occasional sobbing coming from my mother, and I sure my dad is out of the house. gently caress my life

TLDR; Mom and uncle, both having spouses of their own, hosed, made me, and proceed to not tell anyone. I take a DNA test 19 year later and it all comes crashing down. I've locked myself in my room and I'm pretty sure my family has ceased to exist outside

2nd Update

Thanks for the support guys! Means a lot.

Back to where we were:

I eventually left my room, called my dad and he was actually at the hospital with my grandmother. She couldn't handle the situation and had a heart attack right when she went home. I knew my mother was still in the house, but I left her there (again), without saying a word and went to the hospital.

I got to the hospital, saw my grandmother (she's in stable condition), and then sat down with my dad to talk. First thing we told each other was that this situation didn't change our relationship. He was still my father and I was still his son.

I got the confirmation of my Dad and David getting into some altercation (Dad told me he hosed him up really hard). My mother had told my dad that she was drunk and David raped her. The only reason she had not told anyone was out of fear of destroying my father's family. Dad then suggested going to the police. She refused and then started to slightly change her story, making my Dad doubt her claim. That's when David and everyone else came over. David claimed my mother was lying to save her own rear end, and that they had consensual sex.

As of now, my dad and I have no idea who to believe. He says his relationships with my mother and David had always been good. He's not sure what to do.

David's wife is filing for divorce since this occurred after they were married. My cousin is holding up alright, although she's still pretty shaken up. My dad and I have been staying with my grandparents for the past week until we figure out what to do.

Any advice would help. Thank you

Sorry if this sounds rushed. I typed this on my way to class.

TLDR; Grandma had heart attack. Mom claimed David raped her; David denies that. Cousin's mother is filing for divorce. Dad and I are staying with my grandparents for now.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:58

Late Fees: Jan 8, 2004; Your fees are valid.

holy poo poo 23andme killed grandma

# ? Jun 29, 2021 22:04

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Hughlander posted:

OP finds out he only shares 29% of his DNA with his father. poo poo blows up, and family falls apart.

dig up, stupid

# ? Jun 29, 2021 22:07

Impermanent: Apr 1, 2010

genetic tests are the best drama kindling invented since will readings

# ? Jun 29, 2021 22:07

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:54

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

The only 2 responsible for blowing the family up are the mom and the uncle. Can't trust cheaters.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 22:12

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