Post anything ITT but it has to be in a Steven Seagal impression

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Post anything ITT but it has to be in a Steven Seagal impression

Popputan: Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.

*chunky inhale* so.... i was uh .... mmm... *mixes really long exhale with speaking* browsing this one forum website and I... I-I saw this subforu- it was called... uh *inhale* bee why oh bee, right *another exhale*... a-and the people there-the people there reminded me of my old... my old karate friends i fought with in the 50's-y'know just real nice guys and... they're... awesome guys and... *sniff* *wipes nose* hhyeagh... that's where a real tough guy y'know kinda like- kinda like me would hang..

# ? Jul 31, 2021 08:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:34

Escape From Noise

*Mumbles incoherently*
*Snaps some guys neck in a geriatric fashion*
*Squints pensively*

# ? Jul 31, 2021 09:53

Escape From Noise

*Abandons family in Japan once they become inconvenient*

# ? Jul 31, 2021 09:53

Escape From Noise

Steven Seagal eating carrots is the best series of pictures of this washed up has-been.

# ? Jul 31, 2021 09:55

Popputan: Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.

Escape From Noise posted:

Steven Seagal eating carrots is the best series of pictures of this washed up has-been.

I really do like how the only cultural impact he has actually left on the world is being the most unintentionally hilarious wannabe badass, abusive, egomaniac dickhead that REALLY wants to feel like he's still some huge action star when he's in his 60s and is really... really fat.

oh wait I mean uh

*sits down* *puts on sunglasses* these rumors... them people putting on me is all-it's all j-j-just y'know... y'know like jealousy from-.. *fatly eats carrot* from these people who don't know w-what real... real humility and raw power- i-is like, y'know... *very quiet moan* mm..

# ? Jul 31, 2021 10:17

Popputan: Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.

*comes up to paid actor*
*touches him*
*actor does a backflip and feigns pain*
*puffs chest out*
*sits down*
...,.................... .still got it.,....

# ? Jul 31, 2021 10:21

Escape From Noise

I, uh, I didn't poo poo...my pants okay I, I uh... tactically _{_{_{emptiedmybowels.}}} Okay?

Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Jul 31, 2021

# ? Jul 31, 2021 10:34

biosterous

ifound... a movie... yesterday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJOR_2JYLU8

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jul 31, 2021 12:49

Escape From Noise

biosterous posted:

ifound... a movie... yesterday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJOR_2JYLU8

This is Hard To Kill, right?

# ? Jul 31, 2021 13:44

Escape From Noise

Popputan posted:

*comes up to paid actor*
*touches him*
*actor does a backflip and feigns pain*
*puffs chest out*
*sits down*
...,.................... .still got it.,....

# ? Jul 31, 2021 13:46

nut

# ? Jul 31, 2021 13:56

Escape From Noise

Obligatory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v4-zYghodc

Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Jul 31, 2021

# ? Jul 31, 2021 20:23

Popputan: Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.

boutta sing this hea sawng....... originally played by- performed by my.. band in the fifies...... *g chord with reverb* HWADANAHDALAYYKOKWANDAYLAH DAH LAHDO HEYYY EHHYYY ERBADYNOMYDAYLOSSA BOGMYDAY OHHHH

# ? Jul 31, 2021 20:45

FutonForensic

Escape From Noise posted:

Obligatory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v4-zYghodc

the new byob reggae rap loving sucks

# ? Jul 31, 2021 21:51

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Popputan posted:

*fatly eats carrot*

lmao

# ? Jul 31, 2021 22:11

Escape From Noise

Eyy dere bruddahman! I'm not here to speak no jiiiive.
*Delivers half-hearted judo chop while wincing from the effort*
Hah! Guess you could say he's a real soul man now! Haha.

# ? Aug 1, 2021 06:01

Escape From Noise

Apparently my friend's dad was introduced to Seagal when he was living here in Osaka before he ran off from his family to make bad movies, but he was starting to sorta come up.

Anyways, my friend's dad put out his hand to shake hands like a normal person and Seagal grabbed his hand from behind so my friend's dad's hand was palm up, spat in it, and said "Something to remember me by!". So, I guess he was a total rear end in a top hat before he even became famous.

# ? Aug 1, 2021 06:04

Escape From Noise

FutonForensic posted:

the new byob reggae rap loving sucks

Me wants the :w2byob:

for to make the :nice:

# ? Aug 1, 2021 06:14

Popputan: Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.

Escape From Noise posted:

Anyways, my friend's dad put out his hand to shake hands like a normal person and Seagal grabbed his hand from behind so my friend's dad's hand was palm up, spat in it, and said "Something to remember me by!". So, I guess he was a total rear end in a top hat before he even became famous.

Seriously didn't expect to hear about any really weird third hand Seagal experiences itt, absolutely floored that's the case though. He really does mention his time in Osaka a lot.

*sits down* *deep breath* geyahhg I.... yeah I lived in Osaka when I lived in.. beautiful Neehon and that's- that's really where my interest in karatey and.. y'know other martial arts sorta....... mmeyah...... has to do with my neehonjeen blood in me yknow,,,..... its also the.. mongolian russian chinese serbian blood., blood of the-the warrior,. *violently sings soul music*

# ? Aug 1, 2021 07:07

Finger Prince

Escape From Noise posted:

Apparently my friend's dad was introduced to Seagal when he was living here in Osaka before he ran off from his family to make bad movies, but he was starting to sorta come up.

Anyways, my friend's dad put out his hand to shake hands like a normal person and Seagal grabbed his hand from behind so my friend's dad's hand was palm up, spat in it, and said "Something to remember me by!". So, I guess he was a total rear end in a top hat before he even became famous.

That's so seagal!

# ? Aug 1, 2021 10:12

Escape From Noise

Finger Prince posted:

That's so seagal!

Yoywanna *gasp* saythat *wheeze* tomahface?

# ? Aug 1, 2021 10:52

Escape From Noise

My favorite Segal thing is how he's never filmed in a way that shows him below the chest.

# ? Aug 1, 2021 10:53

Popputan: Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.

Well, I mean... I see why.

izzjust.... hffmmm,,,,....... izzjust- yknow these guys the-th-they just dont know that to get.. muscle- you have to bulk up for it a-and I'm just in that bulk period....pure ignorance a-and frankly its like its bein' propagated by somethin'.... completely false claims..,,

# ? Aug 1, 2021 11:52

Escape From Noise

My other favorite thing is his use of a bunch of different random accents, but like he seriously acts like he is from there. His "black man" voice is... something else.

# ? Aug 1, 2021 12:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:34

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

# ? Aug 1, 2021 20:35

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Post anything ITT but it has to be in a Steven Seagal impression