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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > how many people have you banged
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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

 I've lost count, but making some quick calculations, for me it's around... 7 billion

How about you, sexy goons?

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:20
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Adbot
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 00:10
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Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
I've hosed the one person that matters most: OP's dad

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:22
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Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
OP's mom watched from a chair in the corner of the room, smoking a cuban cigar and holding a large survival knife

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:23
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Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
-3

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:25
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Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


 Does fingerbanging count? Because Gutfeld’s dad and I have a history.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:26
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Justin Godscock
Oct 12, 2004

Listen here, funnyman!

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

I've lost count, but making some quick calculations, for me it's around... 7 billion

How about you, sexy goons?

OP, we're not talking about your mom.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:28
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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
^^^ great minds

Only your mother

I am your dad

I hope you used protection kiddo

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:28
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William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



 I'll never know the tender touch of a woman but I've gotten comfortable with that

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:29
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SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

 I've banged into a lot of people OP. I never look where I'm going.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:31
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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I'll never know the tender touch of a woman but I've gotten comfortable with that

plenty of dudes around, William :wiggle:

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:32
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syntaxfunction
Oct 27, 2010
 I'm blind and deaf and I keep banging into everyone and everything. Please help me the corners are so painful.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:32
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Apollodorus
Feb 13, 2010

TEST YOUR MIGHT
:patriot:
10, one for each finger. Easy to remember that way.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:33
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Sentinel
Jan 1, 2009

High Tech
Low Life

Who What Now posted:

OP's mom watched from a chair in the corner of the room, smoking a cuban cigar and holding a large survival knife

I'm OP's brother who was jerking it in the closet at the time.
Can confirm.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:35
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hbag
Feb 13, 2021

 i stretched my cock out and put it in my own butthole does that count OP

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:38
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BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
So like just today, or…?

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:43
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Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





 I own 12 anime body pillows OP.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:47
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The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
i

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:55
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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

hbag posted:

i stretched my cock out and put it in my own butthole does that count OP

I checked the rules, it does NOT

sorry :nomates:

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 04:56
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wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

hbag posted:

i stretched my cock out and put it in my own butthole does that count OP

As an authority on sodomy, it counts as two actually.
You getting hosed, and also loving at the same time. So at least two notches on your bed post.

Me personally, I'm a virgin. In spite of my expertise in sodomy.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:03
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Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

 I've had sex. I've definitely had a lot of sex. Why, what have you heard? Who have you talked to?

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:07
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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Knormal posted:

I've had sex. I've definitely had a lot of sex. Why, what have you heard? Who have you talked to?

this guy FUCKS, I can tell

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:09
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rap music
Mar 11, 2006

 Lol I don’t even remember cuz of all the sex I’ve done

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:11
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Barudak
May 7, 2007

 Not enough to write a lurid tell all book, but enough to convincingly make up a tell all book nobody fact checks

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:19
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Vampire Panties
Apr 18, 2001
nposter
Nap Ghost
I have came in more women's mouths than you've fancied a wank about

hotter too

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:27
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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
 countdown until bust rodd enters this thread...

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:30
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SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

 Personally I feel like missing multiple sure things due to extreme dunderheadedness should count towards the total.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:53
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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Vampire Panties posted:

I have came in more women's mouths than you've fancied a wank about

hotter too

Hmmmm, sounds like you're lying, guvnor

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:54
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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
I have mated, OP.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:59
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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
The copulation was succesful.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 05:59
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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
Now a new plague will be unleashed on the world.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:00
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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
The proper past tense is "bung"

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:00
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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

Colonel Cancer posted:

The proper past tense is "bung"

I bung Mariah CArey.


Like that??

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:01
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Gomez Chamberlain
Mar 22, 2005

Subakh ul kuhar!
I bung your dad op

He won’t call me now

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:01
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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Literally A Person posted:

I bung Mariah CArey.


Like that??

Yes.

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:02
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flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


 i have left no butt unfucked

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:06
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RepeatingMeme
Dec 27, 2012


this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited

 umm sex is sinful an shameful OP? this thred is discusting

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:12
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MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

 Well I mean you obviously OP, so by the transitive property almost 7 billion people :smug:

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:44
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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

 are we talking number of people or number of pounds

ive slayed more blobs than the dude from dragon quest

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 06:45
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Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
people? 7

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 07:00
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 00:10
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Kill All Cops
Apr 11, 2007


Pacheco de Chocobo



Hell Gem
too many to count :wiggle:

* # ? Aug 2, 2021 07:05
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > how many people have you banged
«‹›4 »