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To prevent unwanted house guests, fill your home with mason jars of your own urine and excrement. If you don't have enough output to be an effective deterrent, you can augment your stash with yard sale finds.
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Sep 22, 2021 15:21
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If you're on a long plane flight and getting really bored, start a singalong!
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Sep 22, 2021 15:26
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If you work from home, you can save on tissues by tugging into your work shirts and storing them in the attic.
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Sep 22, 2021 15:27
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You can quit your job at any time Just walk the gently caress out of there (may not apply to military)
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Sep 22, 2021 15:28
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If you don't want to burn down your own house, because that is where you live, you can just burn down other peoples houses. If you don't mind living in a burning house, you can just burn down your own houses, which lets be honest is just much easier.
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Sep 22, 2021 16:07
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I tried to get a job at the dick sucking factory in New Zealand but all I got was a mouth full of feathers. I can tell from your one sentence post that you were doing it wrong. It should have been a mouthful of wool.
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Sep 22, 2021 19:24
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One tip speed-readers don't want you to know: Just skip every other sentence! You'll barely miss anything and double your reading speed. Still too slow? Skip every other page! If what they had to say was important they would have condensed their thoughts in to a single concise page.
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Sep 22, 2021 19:30
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If you accidentally invite a vampire into your home, you can get them out again by sucking their dick.
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Sep 22, 2021 20:01
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If you smear cat feces in your hair every morning you will never be eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex
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Sep 22, 2021 20:08
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Take a tip from Madison Cawthorn and try drunk driving. Not only can you kill your friends and get away with it, but you'll also never wear out another pair of shoes.
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Sep 22, 2021 20:36
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Too much Pee? Store it in YOUR BALLS
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Sep 22, 2021 21:30
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Mozi posted:If you're on a long plane flight and getting really bored, start a singalong! Some other ways to make the time pass easily in-flight are:
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Sep 22, 2021 22:29
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sporkstand posted:Too much Pee? Store it in YOUR BALLS As if it wasn't stored there already. What do you think, it's stored in some sort of bag inside the abdomen? The hot urine would quickly make multiple organs overheat and fail.
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Sep 22, 2021 22:32
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BigBadSteve posted:Some other ways to make the time pass easily in-flight are:
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Sep 22, 2021 22:48
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The Bloop posted:You can quit your job at any time I work from home....
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Sep 22, 2021 23:02
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Can I have a raise? Certainly! *unzips*
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Sep 22, 2021 23:09
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Harry_Potato posted:I work from home.... Even better LIFE HACKED to pieces
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Sep 22, 2021 23:10
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If your car is too slow put a Turbo sticker on there to speed it up.
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Sep 22, 2021 23:47
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 you can tell just by looking at this thing that it's fast as gently caress
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Sep 22, 2021 23:50
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If you have a go, you'll get a go.
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Sep 23, 2021 10:45
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Have a popular website that makes contributions to popular culture that’s others successfully generate money wth? Save hours a day by doing nothing, asking for donations and failing to capitalise on free talent and ideas from an ever Shrinking user base!
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Sep 23, 2021 11:05
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numberoneposter posted:If your car is too slow put a Turbo sticker on there to speed it up. If your computer is slow, add a "turbo" button to make it faster... 
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Sep 23, 2021 14:01
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Want to make every conversation uncomfortable? Imagine yourself hardcore making out with the person you’re talking to. Imagine their coffee breath merging with yours. Picture your hand gently caressing grandpa’s leathery face.
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Sep 23, 2021 18:44
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Have an unsightly stain on your shirt or pants minutes before your big presentation? Just turn them inside out!
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Sep 23, 2021 18:54
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need to remove your makeup before going to bed? don’t!
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Sep 23, 2021 20:44
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teen witch posted:need to remove your makeup before going to bed? don’t! not a woman, but this one sounds pretty useful to me 
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Sep 23, 2021 20:49
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If you inhale a constant supply of vaporized kratom, you can fold the very fabric of reality with the power of your mind in such a way that you may traverse across vast reaches of a space in a meer footstep.
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Sep 23, 2021 20:50
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Don’t have a slow cooker? Leave your oven on at 200 degrees all day long while you’re at work! There’s nothing better than coming home to a hot cooked meal ready to eat !
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Sep 23, 2021 22:35
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Smugworth posted:If you inhale a constant supply of vaporized kratom, you can fold the very fabric of reality with the power of your mind in such a way that you may traverse across vast reaches of a space in a meer footstep. sounds like a lot of work when I could just smoke salvia concentrate and experience one thousand alternate realities simultaneously through a 4 dimensional kaleidoscope
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Sep 23, 2021 22:54
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Tired of not smoking weed? Smoke weed 
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Sep 23, 2021 23:04
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Too tired to get up in the morning when your alarm rings? Set it for later!
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Sep 23, 2021 23:06
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Split your pants before a job interview? Borrow a stapler, put in a few strategic staples and you are good to go. * * I have actually used this hack so it might not be useless. I got the job.
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Sep 24, 2021 05:42
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Harry_Potato posted:Split your pants before a job interview? Borrow a stapler, put in a few strategic staples and you are good to go. * I did kinda same thing but it was the button that fell off and I used super glue to put it back on and hold my pants together I got the job but unfortunately the tube in my pocket leaked and glued my pants to my leg
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Sep 24, 2021 06:26
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Tip posted:I did kinda same thing but it was the button that fell off and I used super glue to put it back on and hold my pants together So the hack here is: Glue your pants to your penis so they won't fall down.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:01
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Tired of losing your hair? Collect it and store it in a large ziploc bag so you'll never lose it again!
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Sep 24, 2021 14:27
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Mozi posted:Tired of losing your hair? Collect it and store it in a large ziploc bag so you'll never lose it again! Switch out your hairspray with 3M Super 77 Spray Adhesive. In a few short weeks you will have a hair helmet that can stop a 9mm round.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:32
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if your need to cancel a dentist appointment and they charge a $50 same day cancellation fee see if they will reschedule for free. reschedule for next week and then cancel your appointment.
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Sep 24, 2021 21:10
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numberoneposter posted:if your need to cancel a dentist appointment and they charge a $50 same day cancellation fee see if they will reschedule for free. reschedule for next week and then cancel your appointment. not a useless lifehack, something i actually do when renting uhaul trailers and plans suddenly change lol
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Sep 24, 2021 21:14
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Really want to watch a movie? Head down to your local Blockbuster Video and they will rent you one if you sign up for their membership--which is FREE.
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Sep 26, 2021 04:28
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Mozi posted:Tired of losing your hair? Collect it and store it in a large ziploc bag so you'll never lose it again! Harry_Potato posted:Switch out your hairspray with 3M Super 77 Spray Adhesive. In a few short weeks you will have a hair helmet that can stop a 9mm round. And on the off-chance you DO end up misplacing your hair: The hair on your crotch and underarms never stops growing back, so just buzz those babies off and collect them until you have enough to replenish your hair helmet. It worked for William Shatner, it'll work for you! THIS_IS_FINE posted:Really want to watch a movie? Head down to your local Blockbuster Video and they will rent you one if you sign up for their membership--which is FREE. And there's no late fees!
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Sep 26, 2021 04:42
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