r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »

Dewgy: Nov 10, 2005; ~🚚special delivery~📦

carry on then posted:

When the person who you have most in common with is Elliot-loving-Rodger, you don't really deserve love.

Writing giant manifestos about statistics and how they make people terrible, eh? Hmmm, hmmm? Hmmm.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 19:34

Tendales: Mar 9, 2012

Crocobile posted:

I think what gets my goat is that wasn�t the couple in the original post having like� 2 hour �cuddle sessions�? It just sounds like the guy doesn�t know how to make a move (because he�s inexperienced) and she�s not initiating either (ETA: lol just checked and yeah, it�s a 20F and 22M in the story). Maybe if instead of posting on reddit and the two sat down and had an open and honest conversation about sex and expectations everything would be fine.

Lady's got a premium opportunity to either a) teach this guy how to have good sex, exactly how she likes or b) discover that he's an unteachable fuckwit and can be dumped with no regrets.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:15

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

Tendales posted:

Lady's got a premium opportunity to either a) teach this guy how to have good sex, exactly how she likes or b) discover that he's an unteachable fuckwit and can be dumped with no regrets.

She shouldn't be obligated to do these things. Like, here's another litany of reasons why late in life virgins make terrible lovers (potentially NWS illustrations): https://www.vice.com/en/article/nn9xng/what-its-like-taking-a-grown-mans-virginity

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:21

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Oh god shut up your just boring now

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:25

Bargearse: Nov 27, 2006; 🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

For the love of god please stop engaging with carry on then

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:31

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Crocobile posted:

I think what gets my goat is that wasn�t the couple in the original post having like� 2 hour �cuddle sessions�? It just sounds like the guy doesn�t know how to make a move (because he�s inexperienced) and she�s not initiating either (ETA: lol just checked and yeah, it�s a 20F and 22M in the story). Maybe if instead of posting on reddit and the two sat down and had an open and honest conversation about sex and expectations everything would be fine.

Yeah really, it's her fault for just sitting there waiting for him to make a move.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:41

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

PancakeTransmission posted:

Yeah really, it's her fault for just sitting there waiting for him to make a move.

they clearly said that NEITHER of them is initiating and that they both needed to communicate, wtf. Is this thread just draining brainpower now?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:43

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

It�s crazy that a problem with such a cut-and-dried easy solution (just talk to each other and make your expectations and sexual needs clear) has inspired such a lengthy and frankly frothing mad derail

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:47

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Mormon Nailer posted:

This thread is goddamned unreadable for the last however many pages.

Content, new flavor:

AITA For quitting on the spot even though we were understaff and it made my manager cry?

You’re the rear end in a top hat for not threatening to sue on top of that

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:47

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

It�s crazy that a problem with such a cut-and-dried easy solution (just talk to each other and make your expectations and sexual needs clear) has inspired such a lengthy and frankly frothing mad derail

This happens pretty regularly, it�s honestly incredible

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:50

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

It�s crazy that a problem with such a cut-and-dried easy solution (just talk to each other and make your expectations and sexual needs clear) has inspired such a lengthy and frankly frothing mad derail

If people were capable of talking to each other and effectively communicating we'd lose 3/4 of the content in this thread.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:56

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

hate it when my thread for staring at hosed up little freaks gets a hosed up little freak in it

# ? Nov 20, 2021 22:56

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

shut up about virginity or I will gently caress you up

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:10

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

e 👀

sugar free jazz fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Nov 20, 2021

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:12

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Midnight Voyager posted:

. Is this thread just draining brainpower now?

Yes

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:21

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

It�s crazy that a problem with such a cut-and-dried easy solution (just talk to each other and make your expectations and sexual needs clear) has inspired such a lengthy and frankly frothing mad derail

the real truth no one talks about

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:29

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Eide and carry on then are just powerfully stupid, please understand, they are dumb as rocks. Absolute morons, top tier dipshits. A sad, sad display of dumbassery.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:30

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

e: removed virgin chat even though it�s difficult for me to do so, most fun i have had all day

EIDE Van Hagar fucked around with this message at 00:04 on Nov 21, 2021

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:39

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

PancakeTransmission posted:

Yeah really, it's her fault for just sitting there waiting for him to make a move.

Seriously, how the poo poo is someone that describes themselves as sex-craved repeatedly having hourslong cuddle sessions with someone and never once making a move?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:42

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

I am not saying you are damaged, I am just saying something is probably wrong if you are a virgin in your 20s.

And something was wrong in this case, (she lost 50 pounds).

I'm sorry but can this loving idiot at least catch a 6er?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:49

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

axolotl farmer posted:

"Virginity" is a patriarchal and outdated term. The modern term is sexual debut.

Is it 'debutt' if you do it through the back door?

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Seriously, how the poo poo is someone that describes themselves as sex-craved repeatedly having hourslong cuddle sessions with someone and never once making a move?

My guess is that he's afraid to ask (or is waiting for her to) and isn't going to do anything without her explicit OK.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:50

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

Quackles posted:

Is it 'debutt' if you do it through the back door?

Actually the preferred modern term is 'cum baptism' it's not my job 2 educate you

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:53

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Eide and carry on then are just powerfully stupid, please understand, they are dumb as rocks. Absolute morons, top tier dipshits. A sad, sad display of dumbassery.

which remains unpunished so I assume it�s par for the course here, lol

# ? Nov 20, 2021 23:54

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

AITA for cancelling my son's birthday because of the gift he brought his step-brother.?
https://www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/poorod/aita_for_cancelling_my_sons_birthday_because_of/

quote:

I have two sons (Matt-32) and (Bejamin-17) Matt is my stepson (my wife's bio son) and Benjamin is my biological son. He and Matt are not close due to age gap and because they don't live in the same house but they're cordial to each other.

Matt is married and he and his wife have infirtility issues that they've been struggling with for years. Benjamin is known for his "sense of humor" but I don't think he's funny; he's focused on making comments about/teasing Matt and his wife such as " I don't know what it's like to have a niece or nephew and probably never will" Or "The age gap between me and y'all makes people assume I'm y'alls son".

It's hurtful for Matt so I told Benjamin to tune it down but to no avail. Last week we celebrsted Matt's birthday at my house. Matt is like a happy child when it comes to presents, he liked all the gifts we got him except Benjamin.

Benjamin brought a gift and handed it to Matt, Matt said "thanks,I really appreciate the effort" Benjamin said he could open it and Matt quickly unwrapped the gift and revealed a red t shirt with the words "best dad ever" on it. He and his wife looked at each other. I felt terrible I kept shaking my head as Benjamin laughed telling him to try it on so everyone can see how it looks on him. Matt and wife were upset, my wife and family were silent. I got in an argument with Benjamin as Matt and wife got ready to leave. Benjamin acted dumb when I asked what he was thinking pulling this stunt and offending Matt like that. He said there's literally thousands of people wearing t shirts that say a lot of stuff and that in no way means that they insult the person wearing them and it's not like every t shirt people wear has to be accurate with their life. I replied that nomatter how he tried to spin it, giving Matt a best dad ever tshirt knowing he's struggling to become a dad was tacky at best and cruel at worst. I then said because of what he did I'm cancelling the dinner reservation for his 18th birthday in 2 months times and he lost it saying he was just teasing Matt and it wasn't big deal, He tried to negotiate but I shut it down.

He called his uncle and aunt who treat him as if he was their son and made excuses for him. I had an argument with his uncle after he said I shouldn't cancel Benjamin's birthday dinner over a teasing gift and that it wasn't his fault some people are hypersensitive and can't take a joke. I refused to discuss it after more family members asked I let it go and told them they were free to host his birthday instead. AITA?

AITA for not sharing medical history before being pranked?

quote:

Heyo, I'm a schizophrenic. Started when I was 22, and will last till I die. I'm active in schizophrenic communities, go to groups, the works but I am fairly private about it to most people to include friends. It's fairly common for people to think I'm eccentric (comes with the turf) due to some of my habits. Those habits include not going to parties or other places with lots of people, suddenly deciding not to do something (I have to be protective not to do or go to certain things if I think a delusion might be coming on), saying the occasional odd quip, normal schizophrenic stuff.

Some friends thought it would be funny to make it seem like I might be going crazy as a group. They would individually wear something silly like a wizard hat or dinosaur costume (TRex blow up costume) to a group event or say something totally out of the ordinary and pretend like it was normal (Police like to track people like you, covid is just a way to microchip you, etc). These are very real scary thoughts to me. I would ask members of the group if they had heard concerns about these conspiracies or weird garb from the other members, but they all acted like they had hung out with that particular member that day and I hadn't been involved.

I was really, really scared that this could have been a massive delusion morphing into a full psychosis so I preemptively checked myself into a hospital to stop myself from potentially hurting myself or diving further into the rabbit hole(common in schizophrenic community). I was so scared my medications stopped working. No one heard from me for a few days while I was in the hospital, and when I checked out I confided in one of them about what had happened. I got a really long apology explaining what had happened and I blew up at them.

I have ignored attempts from the others trying to apologize and have no desire to talk with them again.

AITA for not previously stating that I am schizophrenic?

Edit- People have been asking saying to post the length of the prank. Around 3 weeks.

Edit 2- Thank you for the awards and stuff, but I really want to highlight some of the messages I have gotten. I'm at around 150 messages and counting and am trying to respond to the ones where I can hopefully offer insight.

Resources that I find helpful- r/schizophrenia

For groups just google schizophrenia support groups in my area, something will pop up and when you actually get there someone will have a further list.

You get what you put into groups. You don't have to talk your first couple of times. But no one will look at you with the batshit look if you say "Reality check- is there a bird in the room or something in that regard". That did happen once and the audible sigh of relief from 8 other people and the laughter that followed was hysterical.

Medication helps so much. It's the difference between being able to go for a walk with my dog and staying in bed all day. But it takes time. So many people have asked what drug and dosage a loved on should go on. I cannot answer that. There are so many drugs out there and different dosages. I can tell you that you (probably) will not have a noticable difference in behavior in two weeks after trying a medication. You start small, and work your way up to a therapeutic effect (when it actually helps). It might take some time to actually get to feeling human again. Not every medication is meant for every person, but don't give up!

AITA (M37) for telling my son (M16) he is a failure?

quote:

https://rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/piy1mx/aita_m37_for_telling_my_son_m16_he_is_a_failure/
Edit: For those asking about depression/ADhD, his mom took him to a shrink and he has nothing. He�s not depressed nor has any learning problems he just doesn�t want to do anything. I take away his xbox to make him study and he purposefully puts the opposite answers on his test. I suppose it�s just a phase but it�s getting stressful because the next few months are going to make or break his adult life. I�m just scared.

Edit 1: Thank you for your helpful answers as well as the death threats I just got sent in private. Some of you asked if he�s interested in anything and he actually had interest in becoming a marine like I used to be. However, when we sat down to actually talk about him enlisting he didn�t pay attention at all and say all he cared about was that he wouldn�t have to study a lot. I�d also like to mention I am NOT a violent person, I had held in this anger mixed with stress inside of me for months when I called him a failure though I did not get physical.

My 16 year old son and I are pretty close. I'm not actually that old of a parent, I had him when I was super young in the military. I've sacrificed a lot for him and go out of my way to treat him like a young adult. We hangout everyday and have a good relationship I would like to think. I didn't have a dad growing up so I don't have much to go off of but I'm doing my best to what I know I would have WANTED as a teenager. I don't give him things, he earns them. I hold him to zero expectations other than to be a good person and have manners. He does what I ask of him without any questions. He has enough wiggle room to have freedom but still restrictions for his age. Bedtime is 10:30 which I don't really enforce but he does willingly on his own. I'd like to think I'm doing a decent job of freedom with structure. That being said, here's my problem...

He's LAZY AF. Like more than teenager lazy. I don't care about the sleeping in til 10:30 am kinda thing or his room isn't clean all the time. This kid has ZERO ambitions for life. He's completely content to just exist and play Xbox. That's it. Period. No goals, no dreams, no motivation, nothing. I've tried everything, sat him down and asked what his game plan is and he's like 🤷‍♂️ he's TERRIBLE at school. ALWAYS has been and he's skated by on the seat of his pants. He failed 9th grade half his fault, half the school/Covid. They pushed him thru to 10th grade, ok fine. He failed 10th grade by his own doing. Refused to do anything, turn anything in, complete anything. He was so lazy he didn't even want to push a button to turn on his webcam to get counted for attendance in PE.

We just had a conversation over the phone with his counselor, fully expecting him to repeat 10th grade with him accepting this on his own. NOPE, they're pushing him thru to 11th grade. The school made up their own transcript for him and passed him for classes he failed. I pulled up his report cards for 10th grade. They're completely different than the one the school made up.

So I tried to get my son to finally work but he refused and I snapped. I went on a small rant calling him lazy and a failure before leaving the room. We haven�t talked in 8 hours but I fear I may have gone too far. So reddit, AITA?

!!Please read the edits it�s the only way I can progress!!

AITA for calling my friend a failure after she attacked me for how many kids I have?

quote:

It's not as terrible as it sounds, let me explain.

I'm 25F and I have five kids of which two are biologically (twins 2M) mine and three are adopted (4M 1M and a two months old F) and apparently for my friend (26F) those are "too many kids". She said that she suppressed that thought for a long time but that she never told me because she didn't want to hurt me but when we adopted our youngest daughter she felt the need to tell me because I am "ruining my life".

The other day my son turned 1 and we decided to celebrate it with our closest friends and family. We have been friends for at least 7 years so obviously this friend was invited too. Well, in the middle of the party one of our friends told us that she and her husband are trying for a baby and that's when my friend joked that once she has the first she will end up like me and our girls nights will be non existent, I asked her what she meant, since even when I have five kids we still have girls' nights, and she said that I had too many kids and that if I don't stop I will end up ruining my life. I said "well, it's MY life" and then she told me everything she hadn't told me in years, she said that having so many kids at my age is the worst mistake I've ever made, that thanks to me our group of friends is separating (apparently the fact that they got married was my fault) that at this age we should be partying and living our youth and not having kids, or in my case sleeping with the same person with whom I lost my virginity, or "taking care of someone else's kids" just to try to be a saint.

And when she said that I got really mad, I didn't mind that she made fun of my relationship with my husband (27M) because, sadly, I'm used to it. But they are MY kids and in no way did I choose them because I wanted to be a "saint", everyone who knows my heart knows that I am not like that, and I thought she knew me. So I told her that if her only goal was to party and get drunk every night while cheating on her boyfriend with different men, it's her decision but that I don't want to be a failure like her, and as soon as i said that i said sorry because i knew i was wrong because i said that just because i was mad and wanted to hurt her, but she got offended and said she trusted me when she told me all the times she cheated on her boyfriend and now that everyone knows i ruined her reputation.

And from that day we didn't talk again, her sister, with whom I used to have a good relationship, called me and told me that I was an rear end in a top hat and a loser for saying that, that I hurt her sister's feelings and that she doesn't want to know anything about me. I know I should apologize in a better way but I still don't feel ready for it, am i the rear end in a top hat for that?

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:07

LookListen: Jul 6, 2011

I'm just watching the virgin derail wondering where virgin women 25 and older fit in on the 'something wrong with you' scale, am I supposed to be a red flag waving crazy, or what? I just need to know if I'm accessorizing right

Edit, commentary: wtf kind of a prank is that schizophrenia story?

LookListen fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Nov 21, 2021

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:09

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

value-brand cereal posted:

AITA for not sharing medical history before being pranked?

I've literally never heard of a friend group pretending one of them is crazy except in the cases where that person happens to be schizophrenic.

I'm sure there's confirmation bias but this cannot possibly be that common.

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:17

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Rescue Toaster posted:

I've literally never heard of a friend group pretending one of them is crazy except in the cases where that person happens to be schizophrenic.

I'm sure there's confirmation bias but this cannot possibly be that common.

I've heard it happen in cases of PTSD of all things, just like "Oh hey our friend has a mental illness, let's make them think it's acting up, lol!"

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:19

Randy Travesty: Oct 27, 2014; PHANTOM QUEEN

value-brand cereal posted:

AITA for not sharing medical history before being pranked?

This is the meanest thing I've ever seen. Holy gently caress. I hope all of those people loving paid for the hospital stay, Jesus loving Christ. The poor person.

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:21

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

I have a very specific trigger for my OCD going into overdrive that shows up...surprisingly often in horror movies (hands in blenders or sink garbage disposals). Issue is love horror movies. It took me a minute to figure out one dickhead 'friend' was specifically picking out movies they knew had scenes like that for movie nights.

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:24

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

It is important to disclose your full medical history to epic prank bro so he can feed you things you're allergic to

I'm going to guess whoever initiated that prank knew

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:26

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Quackles posted:

My guess is that he's afraid to ask (or is waiting for her to) and isn't going to do anything without her explicit OK.

I was referring to the girl - if you�re so �sex-craved� how do you not make a move in that situation, or at least bring it up?

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:28

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

i appreciate carry on then coming back to the thread after a break because it meant people had time to forget his gimmick.

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:29

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for accidentally revealing my sister's promiscuous past to her Christian Boyfriend?

quote:

My sister, Anna, had an... interesting sexual past, to say the least. She became sexually active at 14 and for the next 10 uears of her life engaged in all kinds of wild sexual acts. Threesomes, BDSM, unprotected hookups, you name it. She did everything one could imagine. I was even unfortunate enough to walk in oh her giving a double bj once.

About a year ago she started regretting her past and joined the church. I didn't know it, but she became a "born-again virgin" while there. She never told me about being a "virgin" again. While attending the church she met Michael and they started dating. Yesterday she brought him home to meet me and my parents.

As we had lunch Michael said it was very rare to find another 20+ virgin like himself and he was very lucky he met Anna who's also a virgin. I almost choked on my food. I asked if it was some sort of joke but he disn't know what i meant. I then told him she was anything BUT a virgin and all the times i heard her having sex in her room. I told him a lot more tgan was necessary, actually.

Anna started crying and admitted she had a promiscuous past. Michael was livid and broke up with her on the spot. She started yelling at me and locked herself in her room ever since then. My parents are really mad at me, saying i ruined her only chance of living a respectable life.

AITA?

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:30

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

I swear, "It's just a prank, bro!" Youtube videos and poo poo have just...broken a certain variety of fuckhead entirely.

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:31

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

value-brand cereal posted:

AITA for cancelling my son's birthday because of the gift he brought his step-brother.?
https://www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/poorod/aita_for_cancelling_my_sons_birthday_because_of/

Prank him back and tell him you're using his college fund to to pay for fertility treatments for his stepbrother.

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:38

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Mx. posted:

AITA for accidentally revealing my sister's promiscuous past to her Christian Boyfriend?

Just tellin� my sister�s BF about all the times she got DPed over lunch with our parents, what�s the big deal???

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:39

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Mx. posted:

AITA for accidentally revealing my sister's promiscuous past to her Christian Boyfriend?

I mean statistically the dude is a 100% MAGA dyed red Trump voter so good luck getting away from him even if the circumstances aren't ideal.

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:40

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

AngryRobotsInc posted:

I swear, "It's just a prank, bro!" Youtube videos and poo poo have just...broken a certain variety of fuckhead entirely.

Oh these dudes absolutely did this exact poo poo long before YouTube even existed, "It's just a joke why can't you take a joke?" has been the piece of poo poo anthem for generations

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:43

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

pentyne posted:

I mean statistically the dude is a 100% MAGA dyed red Trump voter so good luck getting away from him even if the circumstances aren't ideal.

he's some kind of mega hosed up religious weirdo if he's just casually mentioning their mutual virginity to people he just met

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 19:34

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

edit; didnt see mod note

Grape fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Nov 21, 2021

# ? Nov 21, 2021 00:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »