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Last night's main card was pretty dope imo, just ended anticlimactic Also, lol https://twitter.com/AhmedSamir89/status/1467334755876323333?s=20
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Dec 5, 2021 16:49
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I take a shameful joy in how "Jessica Eye" has just become synonymous with "agonizing and awkward MMA content"
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Dec 5, 2021 17:30
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Mickey Gall is somehow 6-4 in the UFC. I realize that's basically 4-4 because the first two were joke opponents, but still. He might hang out as a lower tier gatekeeper for a while yet
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Dec 5, 2021 20:19
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He's, like, the absolute entry-level gatekeeper, in that no one he's beaten is still in the UFC with the technical exception of his most recent win over Jordan Williams, who is now 0-3 in the UFC and probably not long for this world.
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Dec 5, 2021 21:02
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This all happened because Dana White really wanted to make money off CM Punk, and we are still paying for it almost six years later. Disasterous
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Dec 5, 2021 21:33
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Bluedeanie posted:This all happened because Dana White really wanted to make money off CM Punk, and we are still paying for it almost six years later. Disasterous I'll never forgive Dana for being one of the least gifted major promoters of all time and Punk for being the worst athlete to grace the Octagon.
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Dec 5, 2021 21:50
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TheKingslayer posted:I'll never forgive Dana for being one of the least gifted major promoters of all time and Punk for being the worst athlete to grace the Octagon. Someone's forgotten the one gracie who literally fell over from exhaustion mid round
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Dec 6, 2021 08:51
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Punk was that Burress bit about someone doing a lot of cardio but being poo poo at fighting, so they end up fit enough to get their rear end beaten for a really long time.
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Dec 6, 2021 11:48
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I still hold it against Duke Roufus that he vouched for Punk being UFC caliber. Good job coach, guess you like money or something
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Dec 6, 2021 18:10
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mewse posted:I still hold it against Duke Roufus that he vouched for Punk being UFC caliber. Good job coach, guess you like money or something You would have rather have your coach say publicly that you are poo poo at fighting?
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Dec 6, 2021 20:38
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If it meant not getting my rear end beat by a photographer, and it meant my fans not having to watch Mickey Gall keep fighting over a decade later, yeah I think I would prefer the honesty for everyone's well being
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Dec 6, 2021 20:40
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You can barely count on a coach to throw in the towel watching it happen. How can you expect them to think that far ahead?
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Dec 6, 2021 20:47
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Either way it's really funny to go back in time and watch the interviews where his main criteria for Punk being ready is that he has a lot of heart and is here to fulfill a dream.
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Dec 6, 2021 21:17
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See this poo poo is why I blame everyone around and above Punk for the unbearable hype and disastrous run - a lot of people have hearts + dreams but usually there's some other steps
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Dec 6, 2021 21:24
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There was like a 3-part series that came out ahead of Punk vs Gall, and with all the beneficial editing, Punk never once looked competent in his sparring sessions I still think about him throwing an awkward rear-hand uppercut and getting countered by Some Guy that was probably doing cardio kickboxing the day before
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Dec 6, 2021 21:37
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LobsterMobster posted:There was like a 3-part series that came out ahead of Punk vs Gall, and with all the beneficial editing, Punk never once looked competent in his sparring sessions  e l i t e s t r i k i n g
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Dec 6, 2021 21:42
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haha gently caress yeah thanks for using my title 
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Dec 6, 2021 22:22
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mewse posted:
Oh wow, I totally forgot about that. Reminds me of that Ronda punching gif.
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Dec 6, 2021 23:05
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The UFC crowd drunk shadowboxing with Ronda gif is still my favourite thing in history.
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Dec 6, 2021 23:21
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My usual calendar for UFC 269 says it starts an hour later, but I'm getting conflicting reports. Anyone know?
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Dec 7, 2021 03:31
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Hahaha an hour later than what, feels like every card this year starts at some random new time Anyway UFC website says early prelims 6:15 EST, prelims 8 main 10, though there's a whole week for fights to fall apart.
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Dec 7, 2021 03:34
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Brut posted:Hahaha an hour later than what, feels like every card this year starts at some random new time hmmm, do you guys have daylight savings right now? edit: or poo poo, maybe i do???
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Dec 7, 2021 04:40
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crepeface posted:hmmm, do you guys have daylight savings right now? We have daylight savings here but I don't know which is the "on" and which is the "off" state, you wrote the post I'm replying to at 22:40 EST, if that helps.
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Dec 7, 2021 04:46
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I don't know if I can handle ufc269, I will be so emotionally compromised during the main event walkouts nothing against charles I just really really want dustin to win the undisputed belt after the crazy journey & career he's had. what an unbelievable mountain of killers he's had to defeat to get reach this point. and at his age and how stacked LW is I don't see him getting another shot. and I need conor fans to feel utterly defeated.
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Dec 7, 2021 16:52
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ideally i'd like to see dustin win the belt, defeat gaethje to defend it then retire on top (and as a bonus all-throughout he never mentions conor's name or gives him attention or mind other than remarking making a lot of money off of him  )
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Dec 7, 2021 16:54
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I want the main event to go to a draw and then Dustin and Do Bronx team up, become co-champs, get matching costumes, and go around beating up fighters I hate
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Dec 7, 2021 17:08
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I can't wait for the theme mash-up
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Dec 7, 2021 17:38
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CommonShore posted:I want the main event to go to a draw and then Dustin and Do Bronx team up, become co-champs, get matching costumes, and go around beating up fighters I hate Thus starting UFC's tag division.
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Dec 7, 2021 20:16
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Dirt Road Junglist posted:Thus starting UFC's tag division. Oh my god, that would be incredible.
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Dec 7, 2021 20:58
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I have a tremendous weak spot for that stupid faceapp big smile and have been laughing at this poster for a minute straight. Everyone is so happy to fight! https://twitter.com/CrackHardly/status/1468266634066472970?s=20
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Dec 8, 2021 00:16
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Southpaugh posted:imagine putting on "skull weight" in your 30s He's using Barry Bonds trainer.
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Dec 9, 2021 03:06
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Maybe he is training with mercury fillings
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Dec 9, 2021 03:51
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Breakdown for UFC 269 This is our second-last card of the year and our last major one.  Main Card PPV – 10pm Eastern,  Lightweight championship Charles Oliveira © vs Dustin PoirierTwo men who took the long road to the title. “Do Bronx” Oliveira has been around forever and holds pretty much every finishing record in the 155 lb division and the UFC. He’s primarily a submission threat, but he has been KOing opponents since early in his career as well with really lanky Brazilian Muay Thai. When I say “Submission threat” too I mean “holds the record for wins by most different submission techniques” and he’s one of few fighters who has wins by strangle, arm lock, and leg lock. His fists won him his title, after surviving a nasty first round against Michael Chandler, and then sparking Chandler with a picture perfect left hook. He’s wild, wonderful, and fun. Poirier is the inverse. He has wins by submission – notably some d’arce chokes – but realistically he’s a striking threat, with KO power in both hands and an uncanny ability to survive in the pocket with his “hillbilly shoulder roll.” If that’s not enough in his recent run he has shown an amazing ability to game plan and adapt to his opponents, outlasting Justin Gaethje, outboxing Max Holloway, and completely murdering Conor McGregor twice. His only blot – the only thing that makes him the challenger – is that he got the poo poo kicked out of him by Khabib. He has the most KOs in the lightweight division history, which is especially notable given that he fought for years at featherweight. I can’t gush enough about how good this matchup is. These guys have a combined 10 fight of the night awards, 4 submission of the night, and 15 performance of the night. Both have won several of-the-year awards from various observers. The style match is great too because they both have advantages in the other’s weaker areas. They’re both offensive dynamos, and they’re both here to fight. If you’re one of those people who says “I used to watch UFC back when Chuck was champion but I can’t follow it anymore,” tune in for this. These guys are better fighters and more entertaining than anyone from that era of MMA. If you don’t tune in, gently caress you, because this is the fight. The only thing I don’t like about this match is that one of these guys have to lose – and they’re both awesome dudes outside of the ring too. They’re not just top-tier fighters, they’re also model human beings by any measure, which is refreshing given how low the ethical bar is for most of the MMA extended universe. Women’s Bantamweight Championship Amanda Nunes © vs Julianna Pena I could write quite a few words about Nunes too, but I won’t. She’s an uber-dominant two-division champion and we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for contenders. She’s often pretty exciting, and she’s extremely violent when she’s being dominant. She’s basically a straight punches and limp arm striker, but she has a good ground game too. Pena… I’m struggling here to say something productive. She is literally the only available contender who hasn’t been crushed by Nunes already. She has alternated wins and losses in her last 4, meaning she is coming in on a one-fight streak. Oh and her losses were bad finishes too. This could produce a highlight but it’s pretty sad. I wouldn’t even recommend betting on Pena as a long-shot underdog unless they’re giving Tyson-Douglas type of odds. Don’t waste your money, please. If Pena wins it would be literally the biggest upset in the sport’s history. Welterweight Geoff Neal vs Santiago Ponzinibbio Decent matchup. Both guys are good and boxing focused, though Neal is a bit more measured of the two. In his last fight he showed himself completely unable to adapt to a complex opponent, as he just dropped a decision to Wonderboy. Ponzinibbio had one of the most impressive win streaks at welterweight going, but then he got super sick for like two years and missed his physical/athletic peak. He’s 1-1 since then, getting KOed by The Leech in his return but then having a great fight with prospect Miguel Baeza in his followup. Oh Geoff Neal got a DWI and some weapons charges last week. Flyweight Kai Kara-France vs Cody Garbrandt Note the weight class. Former bantamweight champ Garbrandt makes his long-awaited flyweight debut. It was originally supposed to be for a championship, but then some poo poo (covid?) happened and he hosed it up. C’est la vie. It’s probably better for him to start with a guy like Kara-France anyway. Garbrandt is a high-speed power puncher. He might have the best speed-power ratio in the sport. He has also shown both the ability to put together a first-rate game plan and to fight like the biggest goddamn idiot in the world. His last fight was one of the best KOs I’ve ever seen when he put Rafael Assuncao away with some one punch god-he’s-dead poo poo. Kara-France is a pretty median flyweight: city kickboxing striker, technically sound and very fast. Great KO in his last fight. His only two UFC losses are to the current champ and a dude who had a very good fight against the current champ. Bantamweight Raulian Paiva vs Sean O’Malley Sean O’Malley is a mArKeTaBlE and cHaRiSmAtIc DWCS dude. He has really smooth, long, accurate striking. He’s on a two-fight streak with wins over a washed dude and a heavy bag. Paiva has been fighting some tough dudes and getting wins under the radar. He has some KOs, and I would rate his recent opponents above O’Malley’s. He was a flyweight for a while, but missed weight heroically before moving up to BW in his previous bout. Prelims  Featherweight Josh Emmett vs Dan IgeHere’s a gooder! Dan Ige is pretty good, but not great. His last fight was a decisive decision loss to TKZ. His fights are good, he punches lots, he’s Hawaiian. Sometimes he has activity or gameplan problems, which will probably represent his ceiling in the sport. Notably, he has never been finished, despite being hittable, but if anyone at 145 can test that chin it’ll be Emmett. Emmet is bald and pale and has tattoos. He punches extremely hard and is good at staying in the fight. Bantamweight Dominick Cruz vs Pedro Munhoz Munhoz is a punch-and-low-kick fighter who has good power for the division and a good guillotine. He got beaten up by all-time-great Jose Aldo in his last fight. Cruz was the long reigning bantamweight champ known for extremely complicated footwork and feints, and for being injured for several years at a time. He is famous for having virtually no power, but also for being extremely tough to hit. He took a split decision from Casey Kenney in his last fight.  Heavyweight Augusto Sakai vs Tai TuivasaSakai was a major prospect who got put into two main events and got KOed both times. This is his return to the 3 round undercard. He’s a striker, or at least a brawler. More or less the same for Tuivasa, though the shoey-drinking Aussie is on a 3-fight KO streak, most notably putting Greg Hardy away in 1:07. Middleweight Jordan Wright vs Bruno Silva Jordan Wright is very midwestern looking dude, though I see he’s from Texas/LA. He has put up mixed UFC results. – Koed by Joaquim Buckley but a good KO of Jamie Pickett in his last one. Bruno Silva has no Wikipedia page but I don’t need to look him up: he’s very good. He has totally brutalized two opponents in the UFC so far. He’s a jiu jitsu threat but has scary ground strike power, too. Early prelims at 615 EDT Middleweight Andre Muniz vs Eryk Anders Anders is well whatever. He’s a pretty middleweight middleweight. To his credit, he likes to brawl. Muniz is a Brazilian who came from DWCS and is undefeated in the UFC. He broke Jacare’s arm – that should say enough. Flyweight Erin Blanchfield vs Miranda Maverick Good match! Two young flyweights. Maverick is extremely physical and powerful. I think she lost her last match by close decision though. Blanchfield is an invicta girl who has had some cool KOs. Flyweight Alex Perez vs Matt Schnell Alex Perez is a top-tier flyweight who got destroyed by Deiveson Figueiredo in his last fight, a title opportunity. He has two POTN wins, including a leg kick TKO. Schnell is a 5-4 flyweight with some submission wins. I note that flyweight has a bit of a log jam of fighters who have all beaten each other, and this is no exception. It would be exciting if they were promoted at all so we could remember them. Featherweight Ryan Hall vs Darrick Minner Ryan Hall is a literal world-class grappler. He got KOed in his last fight when he fought a dude who he couldn’t control, costing him hi s-0. Minner is a Nebraska barn fight grappler. In his last fight he styled on Darren Elkins before getting KOed, as one does. Bantamweight Randy Costa vs Tony KelleyOoooh here’s a nice one. Costa is a karate dude who had an awesome fight against Adrien Yanez where he made Yanez dig deep. Kelley is a pretty solid tough guy too who had a banger of a debut vs Kai Kamaka III and some solid performances since then, too. Flyweight Gillian Robertson vs Priscila Cachoeira Cachoeira is the “Yamasaki gave her a chance to be a warrior” girl. She is a sub-500 fighter but she scored sweet KOs in her last two fights. Robertson was looking like a title challenger and then she lost a bunch. She has what I feel is both aesthetically pleasing and tactically satisfying jiu jitsu, but that’s pretty much her whole game, and she doesn’t have the physicality to deal with the strong athletes at the top of the division.
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Dec 9, 2021 06:04
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the only thing that will stop oliveira / poirier from being an all time classic is that it will be too brief. i am genuinely worried about what will happen to the brains of both of them in this fight especially with the wars they've both been in already. cannot believe i lived to see either of them as champ. that documentary following poirier as a fresh blue belt submitting a black belt in bumfuck fight colliseum was over a decade ago. insane.
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Dec 9, 2021 06:10
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Why is there no New Years card this year? Or is there one and I'm just stupid.
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Dec 9, 2021 06:10
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Sweaty IT Nerd posted:He's using Barry Bonds trainer. gently caress i remember when people would claim Bonds was clean and that those claiming his head sized increased were racist and phrenology kooks.
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Dec 9, 2021 06:52
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Why rhe hell is Tai Tuivasa fighting on the undercard when they could get a knockout on the main card and possibly sell him as a heavyweight contender?
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Dec 9, 2021 06:54
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Gotta make sure O'Malley has a spot, brother.
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Dec 9, 2021 07:17
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Cruz correctly points out that Cormier sucks on commentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FptbViSOpg&t=642s Cormier and Cruz talk about it, with a special guest mediator appearing about halfway through: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZLZOWSmxHQ&t=11s Cormier admits to having hired someone to do his research and give him their notes in the past (though he doesn't do it anymore!), yet still comes across better in the exchange on account of Cruz being an aggressively insincere, goal-post-moving dumbass. He blames the controversy over his comments on media headlines, as if them adding "... but he loves him!" to a headline reading "Cruz says he mutes Cormier's commentary" would have changed the main point of his message any.
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Dec 9, 2021 12:23
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I had written a much longer post but decided to summarize it briefly instead: Dominic Cruz is one of the dumbest people on earth
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Dec 9, 2021 12:50
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