r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

vdarknight: Jul 4, 2007

teen witch posted:

ok, how are we feeling re:

r/relationships: I�m sorry why are you marrying a man that pissed on your head?

I've been on the internet for a while - there are defintely some people who seem to quite like it...

(TBH - not my scene. Surely the clean-up must take longer than the pleasure?)

(my first snipe and it's a doozy)

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:03

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 21:43

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

teen witch posted:

ok, how are we feeling re:

r/relationships: I’m sorry why are you marrying a man that pissed on your head?

it's very good

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:04

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

I'm feeling it

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:05

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

just don't piss on my thread and tell me it's renaming

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:10

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Doc Hawkins posted:

just don't piss on my thread and tell me it's renaming

Oh goddamnit that�s good too

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:11

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Sisal Two-Step posted:

quote:
I�m sorry why are you marrying a man that pissed on your head?

quote:

because I love him and I can't imagine just walking away from an engagement for something like that. We joke around and while I didn't like this at all, sometimes there is going to be trial and error in relationships

Oh mystery solved

PancakeTransmission fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Jan 5, 2022

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:34

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

vdarknight posted:

Our vet now lights a candle in the waiting room to let people know that a pet is being put down.

I'm pretty sure it's not 'cos of us, but I like to believe that Fey is still being remembered, however obliquely.

It seems to be a thing they do in some vet offices because the last one I went to did it to.

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:37

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Getting pissed on isn't a deal breaker. It's if you piss back and they get pissed off that they're really taking the piss.

# ? Jan 4, 2022 22:38

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

time to escalate to a solo cup full of stale piss

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:07

Combo: Aug 19, 2003

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for wanting my wife to wear her wedding ring?

drat, I took off my wedding ring when my wife and I were going to Mexico and haven't put it back on since. That was 2013.

My wife wears hers sometimes and doesn't wear it sometimes. We've been married for 14 years somehow despite not wearing rings.

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:08

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Look, I�m not going to even consider marriage counseling until he shits in my mouth while I�m asleep.

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:16

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Someone surely has the post of the dude whose wife wanted that (not when she was sleeping, she was in the bathtub and was wide awake) and if I remember right they ended up going to the zoo after which was just a weird way to end his post.

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:23

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

he really should have just asked her if she would indulge in his pissing fetish

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:24

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I wear my wedding ring all the time because it was also my grandpa's and gold rings are baller as hell

I'd be embarrassed to wear one of those heinous tungsten or meteor or whatever honking black rings

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:26

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

Took a couple months but I'm caught up now. I'll find some content, but wow goblin guy definitely is in my hall of fame.

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:38

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for being annoyed at my mom for adopting my ex-wife?

My hot take is the mom had a psychotic break when they broke up because she saw her soon to be daughter as perfect and couldn't square the 2 realities. To remedy this she set up an elaborate situation to force them to interact so they will fall in love again. The siblings part will be a problem eventually but she'll get to that later. All that matters is they are back together.

Cowslips Warren posted:

Someone surely has the post of the dude whose wife wanted that (not when she was sleeping, she was in the bathtub and was wide awake) and if I remember right they ended up going to the zoo after which was just a weird way to end his post.

It might be the same story where a guy pissed the bed while drunk and his girlfriend was over but he was so embarrassed he explained it away as him having a piss fetish. Turned out she had one too and loved it. I remember him mentioning how when he told her she smiled, squatted over him, and just let loose. It ended with him :shrug:

saying "I guess I have a piss fetish now."

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:48

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

teen witch posted:

ok, how are we feeling re:

r/relationships: I’m sorry why are you marrying a man that pissed on your head?

Do the needful

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:57

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Doc Hawkins posted:

just don't piss on my thread and tell me it's renaming

oh gently caress

# ? Jan 4, 2022 23:58

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Doc Hawkins posted:

just don't piss on my thread and tell me it's renaming

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:02

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

Its not bad, but its no Pam

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:17

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Title names from stories only

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:17

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

teen witch posted:

ok, how are we feeling re:

r/relationships: I�m sorry why are you marrying a man that pissed on your head?

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:18

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

so mote it be

(can someone kindly send me the source of the former title, and this one? gotta link it in the OP)

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:23

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

heads up this is a goddamn :stonk:

of a story, and involved some nuclear grade emotional abuse

AITA for kicking my husband out of my children's father's funeral because of what he told the kids?

quote:

My (F36) children's (M12 & F9) father (M43) passed away after a long struggle with cancer 3 weeks ago. His death was expected and the kids knew their dad was very sick but still, I couldn't get them ready to handle this kind of event. They're mental and physical health is my one top priority, and I want them to grieve their dad properly.

My current husband (M37) saw no need for the kids to attend the funeral after I said they were going with me, he said they're still young but I said they had every right to be there for the final goodby. He suggested he go with us then and I wasn't sure but I contacted my former inlaws and they said it was fine.

My husband drove us to the funeral and kept making comments to the kids telling them how to behave which was uncalled for. We got there and I brought the kids to stand near their grandparents, while My husband kept introducing himself to strangers then went to stand next to the kids.

I was standing from a distance but could hear the kids crying, I then started hearing my husband telling them to quiet down repeatedly. Not gonna lie I felt bothered wishing he'd stop.

While the kids were crying he loudly said "Stop crying, really there's no need for this....it's not like he can hear you" and the kids just started sobbing at this point. I was stunned, I looked and saw my inlaws staring at me. I felt horrible I walked up to him and whispered I needed a minute with him, I made sure we were away and lost my temper asking what he was doing, he said he was just trying to comfort the kids and help them get a hold of their emotions, I told him what he said was horrible and everyone heard it. He tried to argue that he was just trying to help but I said he had no right to tell the kids how to grief their father and demanded that he leaves the funeral but he threw a fit and said I was overreacting. I insisted then he left later.

After the funeral the kids started avoiding me, they wanted to stay with their aunt and I went home by myself and found my husband there waiting with an angery look on his face. He picked an argument saying I shouldn't have kicked him out of the funeral after he came to support me and the kids but I told him what he said made the kids refuse to even come home with me, he said the kids are using him as an outlet for their anger after he's been generous with his time and effort and this is how we repay him? By making him out to be the bad guy? I refused to keep going but he kept pushing for an apology for this blatant disrespect I showed him.

For more details/ my husband never had a good relationship with my children's father, I was confused when he said he wanted to come to the funeral but then I thought he did it for the kids.

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:36

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

teen witch posted:

heads up this is a goddamn of a story, and involved some nuclear grade emotional abuse

AITA for kicking my husband out of my children's father's funeral because of what he told the kids?

haha, what a cool dude

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:48

poisonpill: Nov 8, 2009; The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.

teen witch posted:

For more details/ my husband never had a good relationship with my children's father,

GASP

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:56

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

teen witch posted:

heads up this is a goddamn of a story, and involved some nuclear grade emotional abuse

AITA for kicking my husband out of my children's father's funeral because of what he told the kids?

When my father was dying in a (wonderful) retirement home, at one point my mother had left the room and I sat beside him, where she'd been sitting, and leaned over and rested my head on his chest, and I cried. Not hard, not loudly, just like, I couldn't not cry. She came back in from the hall and said "Oh, don't cry!" Now she *meant*, 'I'm sorry that you are so upset, I wish you weren't, I wish I could comfort you in this moment'. But what she said was, don't cry. I bit it back and sat up and made room for her, and I didn't cry again until his funeral, which was more than two weeks later.

I love my mother dearly, but gently caress. never tell someone not to cry.

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:58

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

how dare you let your emotions get the best of you at a funeral???

# ? Jan 5, 2022 00:59

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

teen witch posted:

heads up this is a goddamn of a story, and involved some nuclear grade emotional abuse

AITA for kicking my husband out of my children's father's funeral because of what he told the kids?

should've been two funerals that day

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:02

Human Tornada: Mar 4, 2005; I been wantin to see a honkey dance.

teen witch posted:

AITA for kicking my husband out of my children's father's funeral because of what he told the kids?

I always like the ones where one person is such a mega rear end in a top hat they not only digg their heels in, but expect to be thanked for the effort. Even after it's been made clear that they've upset somebody, they have the nerve to say "just thank me and we can all move on".

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:03

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for telling my cousin my salary when he asked?

quote:

For my (24F) entire life, I've never had much money, so for Christmas I would always get my family cheap or diy presents. This year, I have been at my job for about a year (software engineer) and I could actually afford some nice things for people so I spent a decent amount of money on my immediate family.

My immediate family exchanged presents on Christmas eve this year (Dad, Mom, lil Bro & me). I bought my brother (19M) a nice alienware gaming laptop because the laptop that he was using for school was my old one (that I used all through school) and was in bad shape. He is a comp sci major, just like I was, and I knew how much he needed something that was going to last. Plus he can get some stress relief by playing games on it.

Christmas day, we went to my grandparents house and my brother was telling my Uncle and my cousins about the laptop at dinner. My cousin (22M) looked up the laptop on his phone and saw how much it was and told everyone. My uncle said that it was nice of my parents to buy my brother such a nice laptop, and my dad chimed in and said that -myname- bought it.

My cousin asked how I could afford to give such a nice present and asked how much money I make. I told him a ball park number and my Aunt said that I shouldn't be making that much money just to play on the computer all day. I got defensive and said that I worked really hard to get my job and I deserve it.

That night my uncle called my dad and said that I was being inappropriate at dinner and shouldn't be "flashing money around" when I know that my cousin is unemployed and having a hard time.

Am I the rear end in a top hat for answering the question? I probably should have made a joke about it, but he came off as serious like he may have wanted to pursue a software engineer career so that's why I told him.

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:15

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

PancakeTransmission posted:

lol

Remember the woman whose husband and his friends peed in a hot tub while she was in there with them and she divorced his rear end? I miss her.

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:25

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my cousin my salary when he asked?

Hope this lady's ready to play family bank for the few years!

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:27

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Sisal Two-Step posted:

lol

Remember the woman whose husband and his friends peed in a hot tub while she was in there with them and she divorced his rear end? I miss her.

Lol yeah that one was great, it inspired the title the thread had when I started reading it and getting to that story was so satisfying

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:30

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

webmeister posted:

should've been two funerals that day

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my cousin my salary when he asked?

Every now and again I do remember why some of my more successful Neoliberal friends act like such pompous shitheads. I'd be a haughty dickhead too if my relatives wanted to drag me for making a decent wage.

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:32

Raymond T. Racing: Jun 11, 2019

Cowslips Warren posted:

Someone surely has the post of the dude whose wife wanted that (not when she was sleeping, she was in the bathtub and was wide awake) and if I remember right they ended up going to the zoo after which was just a weird way to end his post.

I'm saving everyone's sanity by not quoting it

https://www.rareddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9zvjfx/wife_told_me_she_wanted_to_experiment_i_obliged/?st=JOVOCZJN&sh=cd3efd16

# ? Jan 5, 2022 01:36

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for installing cameras without telling my housemates?

quote:

I (F20) live in a shared house with 3 other girls. I will call them Sara, Kate, and Zoe. Kate is friends with Zoe, the rest of us aren't really friends. Whilst I'm on ok terms with Sara and Zoe, I've never really liked Kate.

We have a shared fridge, where we have a shelf for each of our stuff. I have noticed that my food and milk constantly goes missing. I see multiple times a week that a large portion of my food and milk is gone. It's unbelievably frustrating, and also very time- consuming and expensive having to buy/cook new food.

I always believed it was Kate because 1.) She is awake late in the night (1-4am). I am asleep then, and I tend to notice my stuff missing in the morning 2.) I have asked all of them about it. Sara and Zoe both deny taking my stuff, but Kate gets all defensive and says I shouldn't accuse her when I have no proof

I was complaining about it to my friend, and he said he was in a similar situation and he got a fridge camera. I thought this was a great idea. I got one, placed it discreetly inside the fridge, and decided to wait a week.

Sure enough, it was Kate, raiding my food daily. I confronted her about it, because now I had proof. I showed her the footage, told her to never do it again, and that she should repay me for what she took.

She went apeshit. She said how dare I put a camera in the shared kitchen without asking the others first, and how it's so invasive to record others in their own home.I explained the camera only recorded the inside of the fridge, not the whole kitchen, but she didn't care.

She has since said she'll never be able to feel safe in her own home again. Zoe has sided with her and they're both calling me an AH and saying I should've asked everyone first, even though this would've defeated the whole purpose. I said none of this would've happened if Kate hadn't been stealing my food and lying about it. Sara has taken my side, so it's pretty tense in the house atm.

AITA?