|
- one entrance!! - study all seasons of Andy Griffith and copy his sensible demeanor - face recognition technology to better identify the guy who killed 17 people two hours after the event - arm Jean. She’s 62 and in her 37th year of working our front desk. Her hobbies are quilting and playing cards with her grandchildren. Her job responsibilities are taking phone calls from parents, rerouting buses, assisting teachers with various daily tasks and preventing shooters from breaching the school entrance.
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 04:44
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 09:43 |
|
|
Give students detention for a week if they commit a mass shooting.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:18
|
|
|
Build two schools and randomise which is used every day
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:20
|
|
|
Turn off your monitor and bury your head in the sand so you don't have to be exposed to it I guess. Or riot.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:31
|
|
|
Give everyone free katanas which are so awesome nobody will want a gun anymore
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:31
|
|
|
Ball
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:33
|
|
|
Brrrmph posted:- one entrance!!
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:38
|
|
|
- handcuff everybody's feet together so the shooter can't run - cover everybody in gasoline so the shooter will be easier to set on fire
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:38
|
|
|
Give the shooter a Tamagotchi. They'll be too distracted taking care of it and everyone can escape.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:40
|
|
|
arm everyone with glass vials of thioacetone, can't mass murder when you're puking
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:42
|
|
|
Start teaching children to respect the law again, bring back prayers in school and make those sluts cover up
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:43
|
|
|
Just stop letting mentally ill people buy guns jfc
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:46
|
|
|
Dragonstoned posted:Just stop letting mentally ill people buy guns jfc if we did that there'd be no one left to buy guns
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:48
|
|
|
Hi I'm your new teacher, John Wick ,and I'm here to teach Critical Race Theory
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:48
|
|
|
Distribute people evenly across the country so no one's ever gathered together in a single place.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:49
|
|
|
Homeschool everyone
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:50
|
|
|
A lattice of ablative platelets surgically grafted onto the backs of all students prior to starting K-12, providing timely protection from a spectrum of small arms fire all the way to flak/anti-tank rounds once the defensive fetal position is assumed.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:51
|
|
|
All schools should lay a bunch of rakes near their entrances so that when a killer approaches, they will constantly be smacked in the face when they step on the rakes.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:53
|
|
|
Every school should hire Kevin McCallister as SRO to put marbles on the ground and tie paint buckets to ropes. Also have a tarantula to place on the killer's face when they fall over
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:54
|
|
|
banana peels. need i say more???
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:55
|
|
|
Ban videogames, surely.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:55
|
|
|
Hire a school shooter to work at the school. That way when another killer enters the school they'll see the existing shooter and say, "oh my bad, I didn't know you called dibs," and will leave in embarrassment.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:58
|
|
|
Armed robots/cyborgs in every school. It worked in Robocop...
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 05:59
|
|
|
Give ever student at the school an AR-15 so they can police each other
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:00
|
|
|
as documented on television, when you put your finger into the barrel of a gun, and it is fired, the gun explodes in the shooter's face. train teachers and students to rush a shooter with their fingers extended to block the barrel.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:00
|
|
|
Huge Lady Pleaser posted:Start teaching children to respect the law again, bring back prayers in school and make those sluts cover up roll this guy's avatar in front of the school like the stone at the tomb of christ
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:01
|
|
|
A shock device implanted deep in a cop's rectum akin to a dog's shock collar that discharges in high voltage bursts if it detects that a child has repeatedly called 911 and the cop is too cowardly to go save them.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:01
|
|
|
Paint a fake entrance on a brick wall of the school. The shooter will run straight into the wall thinking they are about to start a shooting spree but end up getting flattened against the wall.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:02
|
|
|
Attach chip clips to your taint
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:03
|
|
|
Send me in, I would simply evade the bullets, disarm the shooter and disable him.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:04
|
|
|
just build all schools inside of police departments, that way the killer will just walk into a cell on accident and then you can slam it shut behind them. ba-da-bing.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:05
|
|
|
over time Darwinian evolution will lead to students becoming bulletproof rendering this a none issue
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:07
|
|
|
just put a bucket of holy water above the school doors, when the kids enter they get baptized and then when they get school shootered it's fine because we know they in heaven i refuse to entertain a solution that involves not killing children
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:10
|
|
|
Play disco music 24/7 over school speakers, so the shooter will be too compelled to dance to even kill
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:11
|
|
|
Just hang large CLOSED signs over the entrances to the schools so the shooter will think he came on the wrong day god the GOP should hire me, i'm weaving purestrain gold in this thread.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:14
|
|
|
more whorehouses
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:16
|
|
|
Total Party Kill posted:Just hang large CLOSED signs over the entrances to the schools so the shooter will think he came on the wrong day gently caress!!!! This solution works two ways!!! Hang large SCHOOL signs over firing ranges. This way the shooter runs in and begins shooting and everyone will be like, "hey, great job!" The positive validation will cause the shooter to have a new sense of camaraderie and make lifelong friends with the other shooters.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:19
|
|
|
build spike pits and cover them with leaves in school recess yards so when a shooter tries to sneak in they will inevitably fall to their deaths instead
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:19
|
|
|
build a hooters on every school campus until all the news stories are about the plague of mass hooters instead of mass shooters the shooters will still be out there, but we won't notice them as much because of all the hooters
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:21
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 09:43 |
|
|
Get a group together on nextdoor to go to city council meetings and chant "punji traps" at steadily increasing pace and volume
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2022 06:22
|
|
