r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Barudak: May 7, 2007

I have never once taken a bath or shower and I get nothing but complements on my warts and radiant green skin.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:21

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# ? May 19, 2024 12:59

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

I can't not shower after I get up in the morning. I feel so gross if I don't

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I don't understand how people frequently go to bed without showering. I feel itchy all night if I don't.

The "shower in the morning" vs "shower in the evening" wars will be brutal and bloody. But clean.

Seriously though, morning or evening, I fell yucky if I don't shower every day. I also can not get my head around people who go weeks without cleaning themselves.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:26

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

i shower every other day but it's because i can't stand not washing my hair and it gets too unmanageable if i wash it every day. sometimes i take one anyway on the off day though. so it's more like 5 or 6 times a week in a muggy awful summer like this one.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:27

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

when i delivered pizzas i'd shower twice a day, because who the gently caress wants to get off work and smell like pizza all night

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:28

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

BrigadierSensible posted:

The "shower in the morning" vs "shower in the evening" wars will be brutal and bloody. But clean.

Seriously though, morning or evening, I fell yucky if I don't shower every day. I also can not get my head around people who go weeks without cleaning themselves.

I shared a hotel room with a college friend and I actually appreciated that we had different shower preferences because I got to shower in the evening and they would shower in the morning.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:29

ascii genitals: Aug 19, 2000

In the winter I shower in the morning to wake up, in the summer I shower in the evening to cool down before sleep. Showers feel so amazingly good.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Malcolm Excellent posted:

This feels like a Bender type maneuver

My Name Is Earl comes to mind. "One: Bought beer for minors. Two: Stole beer from minors."

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:29

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

Larry Parrish posted:

i shower every other day but it's because i can't stand not washing my hair and it gets too unmanageable if i wash it every day. sometimes i take one anyway on the off day though. so it's more like 5 or 6 times a week in a muggy awful summer like this one.

if u have straight hair see if bar shampoo helps, i had this issue and it helped to tame my formerly-untamed locks

do not do this if u have curly hair, it will twist together into a mass with the same density and scrubbing power as steel wool

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:31

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

blatman posted:

if u have straight hair see if bar shampoo helps, i had this issue and it helped to tame my formerly-untamed locks

do not do this if u have curly hair, it will twist together into a mass with the same density and scrubbing power as steel wool

i have wavy hair which has all the non tangle power of straight hair and the gravity defying impossible to control power of curly hair. i pretty much just have to pray it doesn't decide to stick up that day lol. or get it cut short enough it can't tangle or cowlick but im not in the loving air force anymore so im not doing that.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:35

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

I know a lot of people say they shower less when they're depressed, but during times I've been severely depressed I shower more. I'll shower three times a day.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:37

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I don't understand how people frequently go to bed without showering. I feel itchy all night if I don't.

Sure, I'll be clean for about half and hour until I fall asleep in my bowl of bedghetti.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:39

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

Larry Parrish posted:

i have wavy hair which has all the non tangle power of straight hair and the gravity defying impossible to control power of curly hair. i pretty much just have to pray it doesn't decide to stick up that day lol. or get it cut short enough it can't tangle or cowlick but im not in the loving air force anymore so im not doing that.

how appropriate that you left the air force only to fall victim to the

hair force

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:40

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

I know a lot of people say they shower less when they're depressed, but during times I've been severely depressed I shower more. I'll shower three times a day.

When I was super depressed I would just sit in a bath for hours and read.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:41

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

hallo spacedog posted:

When I was super depressed I would just sit in a bath for hours and read.

i love readin in the bathtub, maybe i'm depressed

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:42

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

I know a lot of people say they shower less when they're depressed, but during times I've been severely depressed I shower more. I'll shower three times a day.

It's 50/50. Some depression is "sit like a lump in filth" depression, some is "maybe if I take a shower, I will be free from this world for a while" depression.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:42

Mr. Grapes!: Feb 12, 2007; Mr. who?

Captain Hygiene posted:

Fortunately it just came up in another thread

https://twitter.com/pb_and_garlic/status/1546427963071242240

Okay this reminds me, one more pizza monster story.

So it's a university area and the pizza spots are still open when the bars close so lots of drunkies coming in for cheap slices. Because everyone is awful there is a Sauce Area where there is garlic sauce, olive oil, hot sauce, ranch and such to put on the pizza near the counter.

This one drunk girl comes in and asks for a bunch of pizza. We prepare it but then she admits she has no money. That's simple, no pizza for you, there is a line out the door so move along, lady.

A few minutes later she comes back with a glint in her eye and offers to trade us her camera for the pizza. It is a decent camera and this was before smartphones, so probably cost at least 150 bucks. I'm not an rear end in a top hat so I'm not going to take advantage of this drunk girl and get a whole camera for a few slices. We all laugh about it and tell her no. She then starts busting out random stuff from her purse to add to the jackpot like her fliphone, a bracelet, a Koosh ball, and so on, while we're just laughing our asses off and telling her no, you're drunk, go home. We gather up all the things and start trying to put them back in her purse, and when I look up again she is posted up at the sauce area just pouring whole ladles of ranch sauce down her throat like a dog who got into the bacon and knows it's caught. She started crying and sputtering ranch before her friends finally dragged her away, as she screamed and shouted about what a ripoff lovely pizza joint we were.

She came back the next day for all her stuff without saying a single word.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:42

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Mr. Grapes! posted:

Okay this reminds me, one more pizza monster story.

So it's a university area and the pizza spots are still open when the bars close so lots of drunkies coming in for cheap slices. Because everyone is awful there is a Sauce Area where there is garlic sauce, olive oil, hot sauce, ranch and such to put on the pizza near the counter.

This one drunk girl comes in and asks for a bunch of pizza. We prepare it but then she admits she has no money. That's simple, no pizza for you, there is a line out the door so move along, lady.

A few minutes later she comes back with a glint in her eye and offers to trade us her camera for the pizza. It is a decent camera and this was before smartphones, so probably cost at least 150 bucks. I'm not an rear end in a top hat so I'm not going to take advantage of this drunk girl and get a whole camera for a few slices. We all laugh about it and tell her no. She then starts busting out random stuff from her purse to add to the jackpot like her fliphone, a bracelet, a Koosh ball, and so on, while we're just laughing our asses off and telling her no, you're drunk, go home. We gather up all the things and start trying to put them back in her purse, and when I look up again she is posted up at the sauce area just pouring whole ladles of ranch sauce down her throat like a dog who got into the bacon and knows it's caught. She started crying and sputtering ranch before her friends finally dragged her away, as she screamed and shouted about what a ripoff lovely pizza joint we were.

She came back the next day for all her stuff without saying a single word.

Lol

The true walk of shame

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:48

IOwnCalculus: Apr 2, 2003

BrigadierSensible posted:

The "shower in the morning" vs "shower in the evening" wars will be brutal and bloody. But clean.

WFH allows for the best of both worlds, a mid-day shower.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:49

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

How often someone needs to shower is going to vary from person to person, depending on how gross they're getting on a daily basis, their skin type, and other such stuff. Some people need a daily shower, some people can do just fine (and are overall healthier) only doing so two to three times a week. Just depends on the person.

Most people do wash their hair way, way too often though.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 04:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I replaced my flesh with a composite molybdenum shell and of course, my consciousness stored on a remote server rack so if my body ever does become dirty I cast it into the smelting plant and forge myself a new one, untainted by your kind, HACKER

# ? Aug 5, 2022 05:02

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

Barudak posted:

I replaced my flesh with a composite molybdenum shell and of course, my consciousness stored on a remote server rack so if my body ever does become dirty I cast it into the smelting plant and forge myself a new one, untainted by your kind, HACKER

Guillotine for just getting a new body instead of washing it :rolleyes:

Robourgeoisie scum

# ? Aug 5, 2022 05:07

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Electric Wrigglies posted:

It's hilariously expensive in business class once you have a few kids to keep everyone together so understand why some put their kids down the back with the helper but I would be mortified if a friend of mine paid for my ticket while their partner rode down the back - I would be swapping seats at least but also trying to find some excuse not to go on that trip at all.

The kids were left at OP's mom's house, so even that's not an excuse.

quantumwell posted:

This one makes me want to vomit, ever heard of baby bels or cheese sticks you two cheese goblins ?

What do you expect them to do, eat cheese without anti-caking agents? Mmm, chemically treated cellulose.

Shithouse Dave posted:

Are cheese graters not a thing in the US, like electric kettles?

We call them microwaves. But seriously, electric kettles are definitely a thing in the US but most people prefer the additional counter space unless they make a lot of tea or pasta. A drip coffee maker is more typical.

I tried setting up a electric kettle in my home office once, but on top of all the other electronics it tripped a breaker

Mr. Grapes! posted:

harrowing stories of WW2 and hunting communists in the mountains.

You realize you were working for a fascist, right? The anti-communist forces during the Greek civil war were in large part made up of the Nazi-sympathizing militias that formed up during WW2 that were later supported by the UK and US.

AngryRobotsInc posted:

How often someone needs to shower is going to vary from person to person, depending on how gross they're getting on a daily basis, their skin type, and other such stuff. Some people need a daily shower, some people can do just fine (and are overall healthier) only doing so two to three times a week. Just depends on the person.

Your bedsheets are filthy, hth.

AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 05:36 on Aug 5, 2022

# ? Aug 5, 2022 05:34

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

The most important thing is if you're not showering that day, you give your rear end a blast from your bidet in order to ensure you don't bring any swamp rear end funk into bed with you at night.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 05:36

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

quantumwell posted:

They used to be common but big cheese came along with the allure of pre-grated cheese since we're too drat
lazy to do it ourselves. Plus cheese graters are a PITA to clean.

The thing that sucks about pre-shredded cheese though is that it often has a powder coating that makes it not melt right in sauces.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 05:43

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

AITA for telling my friend "she'd wish the only thing her daughter was going through was a divorce"

quote:

My daughter passed away two months ago. She was only in her mid-twenties. My heart is absolutely broken and our family is going through the worst time of our lives. Our extended family and friends have reached out and been supportive which I'm very grateful for.

I have a friend who came over today and we were talking. My friend told me her daughter recently divorced her husband because he had an affair and her daughter's pain also hurts her, so she understands how I feel. I said I feel bad for her daughter but it's not really the same situation. My friend said her daughter's going through a difficult time right now and as mothers, our pain is the same seeing our children hurt. I kind of stared at her and said I'm sorry, but if you were in the same position as me you'd wish the only thing your daughter was going through was a divorce. She got upset by that and said that I'm not in the right frame of mind, but maybe later I'll understand that her pain isn't any less than mine. Was I the rear end in a top hat by saying that to my friend and making her upset?

https://twitter.com/ProBirdRights/status/368542088897372161

# ? Aug 5, 2022 05:50

Booky: Feb 21, 2013; Chill Bug

AITA for telling my wife it�s ridiculous to cry over soup?

quote:

My wife is four months pregnant with our fifth child. We have a 7 year old girl, 6 year old girl, 4 year old boy and a 2 year old boy now. Since childcare is so expensive she has been staying home. Money is tight right now and her car broke down so we have been relying on mine.

She texted me and told me she was craving a particular can of soup so I bought it and brought it home. She placed it on the counter and said she would make it after she gave the kids a bath.

While she was upstairs my dad came over and mentioned he was hungry so I told him to help himself to anything in the kitchen as we had made dinner shortly before.

Well he ended up leaving to go home and my wife came downstairs then I heard her frantically searching for something. I asked what she was doing and she was looking for the soup she left out.

I told her I haven�t seen it and that my dad came over but he usually doesn�t eat canned foods. I called him and he admitted he did in fact take it and that he was sorry because he was unaware she was saving it.

When I told her this she started sobbing and saying �she can never have one thing in this house and how bad she was craving it and wanting it so bad� she cried for almost an hour over it.

Later I told her that she was being ridiculous and that she was an adult and crying over something as stupid as a can of soup was for children.

She told me I didn�t understand and she�s feeling very emotional lately and stressed. I talked to my mom who told me I needed to give her grace and that my words were very A holeish.

AITA?

Edit: when I leave work I�m going to go buy her all the vegetable soup they have in stock. Also when I say money is tight I don�t mean that we are struggling to survive. We took out a loan to build three extra bedrooms onto our home. Her car broke down about two months ago. I do leave her the car if she needs to take our daughter and son to their therapy appointments or if she wants to go somewhere.

I was also outside building when my dad popped over. He stops by to see if I need help building the rooms. My wife was upstairs for awhile doing bedtime routines so they didn�t see each other.

I�ll apologize and do the bedtime routine tonight and pick out the scariest shark movie I can find. She loves Jaws movies so we will spend some time together. I do love my wife. Even if it doesn�t appear that way.

Also yes we have five kids but we wanted a big family. I wanted three, she wanted four. I was an only child and she came from a big family. We had four. She had a mirena and it went through her uterus. We found out about this baby at the same time. We both agreed we wanted this child. She told the doctor the same day that after delivery she wanted her tubes tied. We aren�t struggling to survive. We have food/shelter/clothes and occasionally we go out to dinner and take the kids to fun places. The only issue is child care because it is cheaper for her to stay home and she asked me if it would be okay until our youngest goes to preschool.

We may have a lot of kids but we do take care of them. I work long hours at two jobs so I am pretty exhausted when I come home plus I�m building rooms for our children. I do help with my children. I love my family.

the ops a doofus, why not just go "oh except the soup"

# ? Aug 5, 2022 05:59

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Booky posted:

AITA for telling my wife it’s ridiculous to cry over soup?

the ops a doofus, why not just go "oh except the soup"

How can you be that dumb after having gone through kid production that many times before :psyduck:

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:04

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

AITA for hiding my job to a new date?

quote:

I (30F) matched with a high school teacher on bumble (31M). I intentionally didn�t list my job because I honestly have had some negative experience because my dates made assumptions about me. I put that I was a tutor (which to be fair, is true, I indeed tutor privately and volunteer as a tutor in after school programs).

On our date, he found out that I had a different full time job (other than my part time job) and got very upset because according to my facebook (that I never updated since high school), I listed I was cashier so he had assumed I was a cashier who did tutoring on the side. He said i fooled him into treating me out to dinner and asking me out and making a fool out of himself when I made multiple times his salary.

I offered to pay, and he got more offended. I honestly thought he asked me out, picked a place, and offered to pay bc he was a gentleman? Idk. Did I do something wrong?

Was I the AH for not listing my true �full time� career on bumble?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:08

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for naming my baby the same name my ex boyfriend and his girlfriend were going to name theirs even though it was mine first.

quote:

Me (26F) and my (29M) ex boyfriend Marlo had planned to have our first baby in 2019. We planned to name her Alessandra Davin because it was my grandma�s name who died that year, and my mom�s middle name.

We didn�t end up having a baby because in 2020. Last year he met Madison (29F).

Last year Madison was meant to have a baby girl. They were going to name her Alessandra Davina. When a friend brought it up to them they said that it�s a common name in America and I shouldn�t be so self centered.

Sadly, Madison ended up having a miscarriage.

I�m now in my 6 month of pregnancy. My mom posted a photo of my baby bump on her face book with the caption saying �Can�t wait for you baby Alessia�. Marlo ended up seeing it and asked me what I was the naming my baby.

I told him I was naming my baby what I always said I would. Marlo said that it was insensitive of me to name my baby the name him and Madison chose.

I told him this was the name that I had planned out for a long time and I didn�t say anything when him and Madison decided to take the name I wanted to name my baby.

Marlo said that I was an rear end in a top hat for being petty and difficult. He got some of our mutual friends to ask me to change the name.

I�m still sticking by it because I wanted to name my child this for the longest, and I wasn�t going to let them take it away.

Some people think that I am being petty and purposely ignoring all the pain that they went through.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:08

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for hiding my job to a new date?

Yet another case of a dude who helpfully outs himself as a poo poo before you get too invested

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:12

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for naming my baby the same name my ex boyfriend and his girlfriend were going to name theirs even though it was mine first.

Just

, why do you care about what your ex thinks about your baby name choice? He sure as hell didn't care about yours when he thought he managed to steal it!

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:12

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Pretty sure it's fake, but I can't pass up a good pun

AITA for making money in unsavory ways bc we�re low income

quote:

My(31) wife(26) just found out that I was selling candy to make extra money. We both work. I have two jobs. Currently going back to school. But the jobs we work aren�t enough to fully support us. Hence why I�m starting school in September. So for a while I�ve been selling candy behind her back so that we had extra funds. I wasn�t selling so much that we were making buttloads of money but I would always have cash or cashapp loaded because of my sales and a majority of our bills were paid. I hurt my back in February and was out of work for 5 months. So I�ve had to do a lot of catching up. She got super upset and told me that I was going to get caught and that I should stop. So I did. I didn�t wanna stop selling but I did it because I love my wife and I can�t afford to get in anymore trouble. But we�re so broke right now. We have no support from family or any mutual aid in my town or even online. It hasn�t been easy since I stopped selling candy. Working two jobs. She works 45 hours a week. And we raise my 12 year old. I want to go back to selling candy. So I�m asking AITA for selling candy behind my wife�s back so we could make ends meet?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:15

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

quantumwell posted:

They used to be common but big cheese came along with the allure of pre-grated cheese since we're too drat
lazy to do it ourselves. Plus cheese graters are a PITA to clean.

I only have a grater, not a cheese grater. It's stainless steel so I just throw it in the washing machine like everything else.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:20

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for hiding my job to a new date?

she's hiding her job from everybody reading the post

is... is that the joke

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:36

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Pretty sure it's fake, but I can't pass up a good pun

AITA for making money in unsavory ways bc we�re low income

I expected weed, but was really hoping for rear end.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:37

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for hiding my job to a new date?

I'm assuming we all jumped to OnlyFans or stripping, but there's a surprise turn here:

quote:

I do liver transplants anesthesia. These are no joke. Liver transplants have a high mortality rate - highest for all living organ donors. So this is more than cosemetics. Plus i believe in bodily autonomy.

NTA. Anyone who disagree - has no idea and no understanding of liver transplants

No clue why she would hide that though. Maybe the boyfriend is a Jehovah's Witness or 7th Day Adventist?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:46

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Pretty sure it's fake, but I can't pass up a good pun

AITA for making money in unsavory ways bc we�re low income

I don't think it's fake just drop in replace drugs for candy.

I know all the hip slang. standing on the corner selling ringdings and Oreos.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:47

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

what negative assumptions are there about anaesthetists? that they make a buttload of money??

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:49

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

I'm assuming we all jumped to OnlyFans or stripping, but there's a surprise turn here:

No clue why she would hide that though. Maybe the boyfriend is a Jehovah's Witness or 7th Day Adventist?

I was raised SDA and I'm pretty sure there's nothing about transplants being forbidden?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 19, 2024 12:59

Solkanar512: Dec 28, 2006; by the sex ghost

Foo Diddley posted:

she's hiding her job from everybody reading the post

is... is that the joke

She refused to answer in this thread claiming �it wasn�t relevant�, but in another thread she said, �I do liver transplants anesthesia. These are no joke.�

Kind of weird to say that you do anesthesia for a single type of organ transplant but maybe something got lost in translation. Either way, why would people treat you like poo poo for being a doctor?

EFB

# ? Aug 5, 2022 06:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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