r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

InternetJunky: May 25, 2002

Captain Hygiene posted:

This is true, but y'know what? Ice cream for dinner: not as great as it seemed

It's fine as long as you have the gurglespurts jeans.

Am I being taken advantage of?

quote:

I�m a 45F dating a 47M. We�ve been together for about a month now and things seem to be going reasonably well. We�ve been on a few dates and talk most nights we aren�t together, and he�s been over to my house and vice versa.

My question is related to intimacy. Things have progressed at what I feel is a reasonable pace, and I�ve given him oral sex the last couple of times we were together. When I�ve mentioned that I would really enjoy it too, his response is that he is �not ready� to do anything like that to me and that it may be a ways off. He�s a good kisser, but that�s about all he claims he is comfortable doing sexually.

I would never push someone to do anything they weren�t ready for sexually or otherwise, and I plan on talking with him more about this but wanted to get feedback here first. Just back off a little bit until we�re both ready?

I feel a little bit like he has me over to hang out, get a BJ, and then cuddle until it�s time to go. Granted it�s only been the last couple of dates, but I don�t feel like my needs are being met or even considered.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 16:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 20:06

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Andrast posted:

I'd like a Samosa

# ? Jan 2, 2023 16:48

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

InternetJunky posted:

Am I being taken advantage of?

I feel like some level of derisive laughter is warranted if someone claims that them doing anything beyond kissing you would be too sexual but you giving them a blowjob is perfectly fine

# ? Jan 2, 2023 16:53

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

A remix of an old classic
AITA for robbing my brother of his full inheritance?

quote:

My brother Ben (35) is spoilt. Mum favoured him over us girls. He always got what he wanted, or he threw tantrums, even at my sister’s funeral (she was 16. Ben 14, me 11).

My dad has 2 brothers and 1 sister. When my uncle was 22, he came out as gay. My grandparents (GPs) were shocked but they loved and accepted him for who he was. My Dad married my Mum and with my uncle, did lots together. To us he was the fun uncle. My aunt and other uncle married their partners but they were always critical of my other uncle because of his life choices. My GPs held the family together but in 2016, they both died within 9 months of each other. My aunt and uncle disowned my gay uncle. He was upset but he and my Dad have always been close, so we became his only family. In 2019, my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer. He rewrote his will and asked my brother to be executor because Dad wasn’t coping with him being sick. Ben accepted as he believed that my uncle would split everything between him and myself.

My uncle died in May 2021. My Dad, my uncle's boyfriend and I were with him. I called and messaged my brother repeatedly, but he didn't answer or come to say goodbye. At the funeral, Dad was a mess but my brother was giddy. A couple of weeks of my brother pestering my Dad to find the will later, we looked in my uncle’s safe. Dad unlocked it and Ben grabbed the paperwork. Soon after, he swiped everything off my uncle's desk, swore, yelled and stormed out. Later I found the will and my uncle had split his estate 4 ways. 1/4 each to my brother, myself, my uncle’s boyfriend and cancer research. Ben was angry because he only got 1/4. He contested the will. He claimed that he only accepted the job of executor because he was promised 1/2. He believed he should get 1/2 and the other 1/2 should be split 3 ways. It went to court in October 2022. I testified, and when asked if my brother should get 1/2 of the estate because of "all the work" he had to do, I said no. I said my dad and I had done more than my brother helping my uncle simplify his affairs prior to his death and that my uncle was a deliberate man, and we should respect his wishes. Ben was livid but still thought he would win. He didn't. Early December I was notified that Ben got 1/4 minus costs, and the rest of us got 1/4 each.

He went nuts demanding I compensate him because I cost him "his" money. My mother blew up my phone with "how could I do this to her baby" and relatives are telling me I did the wrong thing. Mum banned me from Christmas (my parents divorced when I was 16) because of my "poor behaviour" and told everyone I refused to come after what I did. Ben had a NYE party and my SIL sent me a message saying “sorry” with a picture of my photo on Ben’s dartboard and a sign telling his guests to throw darts at me and to message my number and tell me I’m an AH. I only got 2 messages from his friends, so I don't think I am but Reddit, AITA?

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:11

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

InternetJunky posted:

Am I being taken advantage of?

you just need to wait until he's ready to take the relationship to the next level, where you do his cooking and cleaning as well as sucking his dick

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:13

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

AITA for telling my sister not to use skin cream before my wedding?

quote:

My fiancee doesn't like skin brightening cream. She never uses it, but she also doesn't usually say anything about other people using it either. So I was surprised when she told me she didn't want my sister to use it for our wedding and asked me to convey the message. My sister always uses skin brightening cream for any big event, especially if she will be photographed. So I know she is planning on doing so for our wedding.

My fiancee said she hates skin brightening cream and doesn't want the use of it immortalized in our wedding photos. She said my sister should understand because this is a small family event and the photos will only be seen by us and our close family. She said it's not unusual for brides to have requests about the look of the wedding party. She would know better than me, so I agreed.

Asking my sister didn't go over well. My sister was furious and said I have no say over her skincare routine. She said she will use whatever products she wants, and if my fiancee has a problem with that she can uninvite her. My fiancee said fine, but then my sister won't be a part of the wedding party or in the photos. My mom and sister are furious about this decision and don't want to work with me at all, telling me to get my wife under control, because she's being ridiculous.

I would think my sister would want to make us happy on our special day and be willing to compromise, but did I ask for too much?

Edit: After talking to my fiancee we've decided to just uninvite my sister. Her beliefs are her own and not really any of our business, but why would we want someone who thinks women who look like my fiancee are ugly to be at our wedding? It just doesn't make sense. I always saw it as a personal choice, but it's more than that. My sister is saying to the world that she thinks brown women are ugly, and while that's sad for her, because she is one, it isn't my fiancee's problem to deal with. So we just won't have her there. No one should have to be told on their wedding day that they are ugly.

Clarification: several people have asked me to explain in the post itself what skin brightening cream does, since a lot of commentors are white and don't know. The cream changes your skin so that you look fair, more like a white person than a brown one. It isn't makeup. It fades over time, so you need to keep applying it, and it can make you sick. The reason my fiancee hates it is because she has seen it give friends and relatives skin conditions and other illnesses and because women who use it say women who don't are ugly. My fiancee thinks we should be proud of our brown skin, because our race has accomplished many things. That is why she didn't want its obvious use in our photos. Several people have told me the proper name is skin lightening cream, but in our community we call it skin brightening cream. Apparently white people have a different product also called that which is different. Sorry for confusing you.

Um...I'm a cis white guy, so I am fairly sure my feelings don't matter here.

I do think his fiance is TA, and I also fail to see where his sister called her ugly, but I am seeing really mixed feelings on Reddit for this.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:28

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

blackmet posted:

Um...I'm a cis white guy, so I am fairly sure my feelings don't matter here.

You can just stop there

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:31

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Full feature Windows laptops are usually easily upgradable unless it�s a serious bargain basement model. Chromebooks are a big maybe and Apple doesn�t allow it because Apple.

The upgrade to 16GB RAM is $200.

As for the upgradeable part, I used to do hardware support for an enterprise with 6000+ Mac laptops. The switch to soldered-on RAM meant a noticeable reduction in hardware faults, enough so that the added cost was wiped out over the laptop's lifecycle. Since the 2013 Retina models MacBook Pros have been more business friendly (insanely reliable hardware) than consumer friendly (easy to upgrade).

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:33

Atticus_1354: Dec 10, 2006; barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

blackmet posted:

Um...I'm a cis white guy, so I am fairly sure my feelings don't matter here.

I do think his fiance is TA, and I also fail to see where his sister called her ugly, but I am seeing really mixed feelings on Reddit for this.

As a felliw cis white guy. There's a lot of cultural baggage involved with this one that's hard to fully grasp from the outside. The calling her ugly is based on the fiance having darker skin which is considered ugly or "uncivilized" by some and the skin cream is used by people who believe that. There's a bunch of historical class implications mixed in with that beauty standard also.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:36

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Edmund Sparkler posted:

Party sub guy is one of my all time favorite posts itt.

That one and gurgle spurt pants.

And poop knife.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:42

Atticus_1354: Dec 10, 2006; barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

Captain Hygiene posted:

Why not post it again for New Year's, it's an all timer

AITA because I ate more than "my share" of a 6 foot party sub last night?

Its still a ton of food don’t get me wrong but I can down 5 subway footlongs in an afternoon easily; this is probably about equivalent to that, not 12 like some people are saying.

This dude is "easily" putting down over >5000 calories in subs in an afternoon (probably closer to 7000). However big you're imagining him he's even bigger.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:49

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Atticus_1354 posted:

However big you're imagining him he's even bigger.

This is an evergreen internet rule

# ? Jan 2, 2023 17:55

opposable thumbs.db: Jan 7, 2008; It's hard to say that it's wrong that my life revolves around my dog when she is cuter and more interesting than me; Pillbug

[Light] I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife.

quote:

My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your rear end and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. "My what?" Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. "Wtf is a poop knife?" Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my hosed up family with their hosed up bowels. FML. I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. She will be getting her own utility knife now.

[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]

# ? Jan 2, 2023 18:29

Electric Wrigglies: Feb 6, 2015

As someone that has spent a lot of time in SE Asia and Africa, it would be madness to tell someone that they shouldn't use whitening cream/foundation and even hint that the specific reason is that you think it makes the wearer a racist hick/ethnic traitor. It's more common than fake tans in Australia. Like a lot more common - a lot of servos will have whitening soap or similar available alongside coffee, shampoo and chewing gum. Basically, it is ubiquitous as putting on lipstick.

I shudder at the thought of telling a West African lady that she should not wear a wig with straight hair as it makes her look less African brrr I can feel my entrails spilled all over the floor just thinking about it.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 18:33

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

blackmet posted:

AITA for telling my sister not to use skin cream before my wedding?

Um...I'm a cis white guy, so I am fairly sure my feelings don't matter here.

I do think his fiance is TA, and I also fail to see where his sister called her ugly, but I am seeing really mixed feelings on Reddit for this.

Your first part is the reason that the comments in general are the way they are, I think. I'm a white cis woman and my opinion doesn't matter either.

In the comments he does mention that the sister says that darker skin is ugly, a lot.

OP posted:

No, she never called my fiancee ugly, but she called dark skin ugly and my fiancee has dark skin, so isn't that really just semantics?

OP posted:

Yes, this is a very normal thing to say among the women in my family. It is just more prevalent with her, because she is anxious about being unmarried, so she talks about it more.

OP posted:

No, she has never commented on my fiancee specifically, but my fiancee has explained to me that when my sister says dark skin is ugly that hurts my fiancee because she has dark skin, so it is about her even when it's not directed at her.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 18:46

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

I edited the ages out of the main post
AITA for making my nephew cry for leaving service dog tied up at theme park?

quote:

The cast: Me Evie, Fianc�: Daniel, Service dog: Maddie, Nephew: Nathan

Details to start is my fianc� has a service dog for his epilepsy, he has seizures that thanks to medication have gotten better and are almost on a schedule (2 week gaps). He's had this service dog for 6 years now, a lab named Maddie. We take her everywhere as his are caused by stress, so can be caused from a stressful situation too.

Because of his health his family never took him to a theme park, and so I brought it up. However we didn't want to leave Maddie behind, and you obviously can't take a dog on the rides. He has a Nephew whos had it rough this year & as a late Xmas gift we asked Nathan to come with on 2 conditions.

1, I will pay for tickets, hotel, and gas ect. but he must have his own play money for food and gifts.

2, we all take turns going on rides so that someone is with Maddie at all times. Nathan the Nephew agreed.

We have been here for a 3 hours, and Daniel (my fianc�) & myself wanted to get on a ride. Well we did but when we got off we found strangers holding Maddie & asking about what to do with her.

Daniel and myself got Maddie back, and people lectured us for "leaving a poor dog tied up who only wants to work."

We didn't, my nephew had tied her to a fence that keeps you away from the ride. We walked around, & couldn't find nephew.. Called him, his phone was off.

I was livid, & Daniel started showing episode signs because he was stressed out. We searched for 30 minutes, before I left Daniel & Maddie with a worker & looked by myself. I found nephew getting off a ride, when I called out to him he ran off.

Once I caught him I flipped. Nathan's excuse was, "omg I'm a kid. I wanna have fun. I deserve a break too. I never got this, I never did. I didn't get a dad, and mom never did nothing. I wanna be a kid. Daniel's like a dad. He gave me this opportunity.." I couldn't hear the rest because his sobs slurred it too much. But he doesn't have a father, never did as the father left before he was born.

I tried talking it out with him, but he kept telling me it wasn't his fault, and crying. I reminded him that I was giving this opportunity, not Daniel.

To elaborate we did all switch who watched Maddie. Since Nathan was young I had already taken his turn a few times so that the boys could have fun. But he LEFT MADDIE. Again a service dog. Not only life altering but expensive.

I told Nathan that if he didn't watch Maddie I would drive him home, & drop him off. He flipped. He cried & ran off again.

I didn't go after him, and returned to Daniel to find out from a worker they moved him and he had a seizure in a back area. He loves his nephew, and was worried.

Am I the Idiot for not letting him be a kid? He seemed really upset. He has had a hard life, and is under a lot of pressure at home with watching younger siblings.

The cast: Me Evie, age 28 Fianc�: Daniel, age 32 Service dog: Maddie, age 6 1/2 Nephew: Nathan, age 19

# ? Jan 2, 2023 18:49

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

opposable thumbs.db posted:

[Light] I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife.

I've always suspected this has more to do with bad plumbing than anything else. I've dropped some monsters in my time and they've all flushed just fine, the flow of water breaks them up easily if they don't quite fit through the hole.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 18:52

Hawkperson: Jun 20, 2003

Kurieg posted:

I edited the ages out of the main post
AITA for making my nephew cry for leaving service dog tied up at theme park?

The cast: Me Evie, age 28 Fianc�: Daniel, age 32 Service dog: Maddie, age 6 1/2 Nephew: Nathan, age 19

All right I�ll admit I thought Nathan was 13ish but that last sentence still makes me feel pretty bad for him. Sounds like he�s been parentalized for years and years and this felt like one more bout of that. Yeah, he�s still the rear end in a top hat but I can see how this happened. :therapy:

# ? Jan 2, 2023 18:55

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Electric Wrigglies posted:

As someone that has spent a lot of time in SE Asia and Africa, it would be madness to tell someone that they shouldn't use whitening cream/foundation and even hint that the specific reason is that you think it makes the wearer a racist hick/ethnic traitor. It's more common than fake tans in Australia. Like a lot more common - a lot of servos will have whitening soap or similar available alongside coffee, shampoo and chewing gum. Basically, it is ubiquitous as putting on lipstick.

I shudder at the thought of telling a West African lady that she should not wear a wig with straight hair as it makes her look less African brrr I can feel my entrails spilled all over the floor just thinking about it.

This, pretty much. My (very white) sister's friends were aghast that she didn't use whitening cream because it's such a complete given to beauty routine.

There are certainly classist origins to it- those with servants don't toil in the sun- but that's not the intent of your average gal. It's taken with the same consideration as SPF foundation or retinol cream or tea tree oil. HOWEVER!

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

Your first part is the reason that the comments in general are the way they are, I think. I'm a white cis woman and my opinion doesn't matter either.

In the comments he does mention that the sister says that darker skin is ugly, a lot.

Seems sister gives it that classist consideration, so she's TA.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 18:58

Castaign: Apr 4, 2011; And now I knew that while my body sat safe in the cheerful little church, he had been hunting my soul in the Court of the Dragon.

Kurieg posted:

I edited the ages out of the main post
AITA for making my nephew cry for leaving service dog tied up at theme park?

The cast: Me Evie, age 28 Fianc�: Daniel, age 32 Service dog: Maddie, age 6 1/2 Nephew: Nathan, age 19

Pro use of spoilers (which is not a thing I thought possible).

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:02

biosterous: Feb 23, 2013

Lone Goat posted:

I've been to multiple weddings in Canada and it's never come up once, are you sure you're not living in a lovely romcom?

turns out all the weddings you've been to have been cool crime weddings, and i am envious

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:06

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Deformed Church posted:

You also have to give a month's notice at a register office, which effectively provides the same for non-religious people, although even fewer people hear it because who the hell has a habit of visiting their local register office just to double check their neighbour's daughter isn't getting married?

More like three months if you have the audacity to marry a Foreign, which in theory gives the Home Office a chance to check they aren't in the country illegally or anything. In practice, don't date someone from the Wrong Countries and it's a rubber stamp.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:11

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

AKA Pseudonym posted:

I've always suspected this has more to do with bad plumbing than anything else. I've dropped some monsters in my time and they've all flushed just fine, the flow of water breaks them up easily if they don't quite fit through the hole.

Trump tried to warn us about having to flush ten, sometimes even fifteen times!

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:14

Electric Wrigglies: Feb 6, 2015

AKA Pseudonym posted:

I've always suspected this has more to do with bad plumbing than anything else. I've dropped some monsters in my time and they've all flushed just fine, the flow of water breaks them up easily if they don't quite fit through the hole.

According to a poster in a different thread, non-US designed warships struggle with the girthy turds of the average US marine/sailor.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:33

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Electric Wrigglies posted:

According to a poster in a different thread, non-US designed warships struggle with the girthy turds of the average US marine/sailor.

Is that the shock & awe military doctrine I've been hearing about?

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:35

InternetJunky: May 25, 2002

Batterypowered7 posted:

Trump tried to warn us about having to flush ten, sometimes even fifteen times!

Missed opportunity for a Trump branded poop knife.

Are we moving too fast for LDR?

quote:

This guy (22M) I (22F) met on hinge is saying he loves me after 2 days?! I mean I really like him a lot but I feel like that�s a little too soon to say you love someone right!? I told him it couldn�t be love and that�s it�s most likely infatuation but he insisted that he�s in love with me. We�ve also been talking about kids and marriage and I can admit I�ve talking to him about it too because I do see myself with him for a long time. I�m not used to guys being so respectful and caring towards me. He so sweet and has been treating me like I matter. I feel like we�re moving too fast because we haven�t even seen each other yet and we�re talking about serious things. He also does some things that annoy me slightly like constantly crying and using a baby voice sometimes. He also always seeks validation from me. He�s always asking �what do you like about me?� Or �im making you blush huh?�. But I feel like that stuff I should over look right ? Im so used to being confused about how guys feel about me but he doesn�t make me feel confused about how he feels about me. I just don�t know if I should continue or just leave it alone.

Imagining widening your search for love to the entire world and this is the best fish you reel in.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:43

Dango Bango: Jul 26, 2007

InternetJunky posted:

Are we moving too fast for LDR?

Imagining widening your search for love to the entire world and this is the best fish you reel in.

There's so many red flags here on both sides :catstare:

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:52

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

COVID lockdowns hosed up those kids' social development

# ? Jan 2, 2023 19:58

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

InternetJunky posted:

Missed opportunity for a Trump branded poop knife.

Are we moving too fast for LDR?

Imagining widening your search for love to the entire world and this is the best fish you reel in.

what an apt post to see straight after I finish reading Why Does He Do That

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:07

Castaign: Apr 4, 2011; And now I knew that while my body sat safe in the cheerful little church, he had been hunting my soul in the Court of the Dragon.

biosterous posted:

turns out all the weddings you've been to have been cool crime weddings, and i am envious

I've officiated at a bunch of US weddings in multiple states (hurray for the Universal Life Church), and the specific elements of the ceremony are not mandated in any governmental capacity (though individual churches or denominations may have their own requirements).

Anecdotally, most couples specifically request that part of the ceremony be omitted. I'm probably dealing with an atypical subset of people though.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:09

DeadlyMuffin: Jul 3, 2007

Das Boo posted:

This, pretty much. My (very white) sister's friends were aghast that she didn't use whitening cream because it's such a complete given to beauty routine.

There are certainly classist origins to it- those with servants don't toil in the sun- but that's not the intent of your average gal. It's taken with the same consideration as SPF foundation or retinol cream or tea tree oil. HOWEVER!

Seems sister gives it that classist consideration, so she's TA.

They're both assholes. Sister for her lovely classism, even if it's never directed at the fiance, and fiance for feeling like she can and should dictate another person's skin treatments.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:16

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Colorism is connected to classicism is connected to racism, it's a kyriarchy. Whitening cream isn't racist like, say, blackface is, but if you break down the logic of using it, it's because 'dark skin is bad/ugly' and pale skin is seen as beautiful.

Yes cultural relativism and all that, but I understand at your wedding not wanting around the sister who pointedly mentions if you don't follow a 'traditional' beauty routine you're ugly, oh no not YOU you just people who look like you

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jan 2, 2023

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:30

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for refusing to tell my husband the gender of our baby after he skipped going to the dr appointment with me?

quote:

My husband & I are expecting. This is our first baby and we're excited. Thing is he barely attends any dr appointments with me and his excuses aren't even valid. He's willing to miss the dr appointment over soccer or a drink or board game with friends. His response is always "I'm not the one carrying the baby, why do I have to go see the dr with you?".

Last week was my final straw. He was supposed to come with me for the baby's gender reveal appointment but he chose to not come last minute because his friend invited him to fish 'n' chips meal. I was pretty livid but didn't make a fuss about it. Mom went with me instead.

He texted asking me to tell him the results (boy or girl) but I refused to tell him. He kept spam calling me but I hung up each time. He came home fuming demanding I tell him the results but I refused and bluntly told him, since he refused to attend the appointment then he gets no results til after the baby's born and said I was wiling to die on this hill. He went off calling me spiteful and immature for doing this and punishing him. He said he's the father and has the right to know. He then called me dramatic since I wasn't alone and mom was with me. I said he gets no results period.

He's been fuming about it and told his family and they're now pressuring me to stop playing mind games with him and tell him but I declined.

AITA?

gently caress around and don't find out, i guess

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:31

Castaign: Apr 4, 2011; And now I knew that while my body sat safe in the cheerful little church, he had been hunting my soul in the Court of the Dragon.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for refusing to tell my husband the gender of our baby after he skipped going to the dr appointment with me?

gently caress around and don't find out, i guess

They seem like a really nice couple.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:34

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for refusing to tell my husband the gender of our baby after he skipped going to the dr appointment with me?

gently caress around and don't find out, i guess

I�m trying to imagine how swiftly my wife would�ve left me if I told her that I didn�t have to participate because I wasn�t carrying the baby.

I�m torn between �immediate smoke silhouette� and �as fast as she could boot me out the door.�

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:36

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for refusing to tell my husband the gender of our baby after he skipped going to the dr appointment with me?

gently caress around and don't find out, i guess

quote:

This is our first baby and we're excited

I mean, it sounds like one of you is excited...

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:43

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Laptop story is the same energy as when you asked your grandparents for a Nintendo 64 and they got you a HappyBoyGame6400+

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:43

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

Laptop story is the same energy as when you asked your grandparents for a Nintendo 64 and they got you a HappyBoyGame6400+

Oh poo poo, your grandparents got you a HappyBoyGame6400+?!

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:45

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

protip: If you feel that your status as a white person precludes you from commenting on the hornets nest known as colorism, then don�t.

Like starting off with �I know I�m white and I shouldn�t be delving into this� and then delve in, it rings hollow.

Sometimes the best way to be an ally, or even learn more about something, is to shut up and stop posting.

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 20:06

DeadlyMuffin: Jul 3, 2007

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Colorism is connected to classicism is connected to racism, it's a kyriarchy. Whitening cream isn't racist like, say, blackface is, but if you break down the logic of using it, it's because 'dark skin is bad/ugly' and pale skin is seen as beautiful.

Yes cultural relativism and all that, but I understand at your wedding not wanting around the sister who pointedly mentions if you don't follow a 'traditional' beauty routine you're ugly, oh no not YOU you just people who look like you

That sounds like a reason not to invite the sister because she's an rear end in a top hat, not because of her beauty routine.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for refusing to tell my husband the gender of our baby after he skipped going to the dr appointment with me?

gently caress around and don't find out, i guess

She ought to be figuring out her escape route. I can't imagine someone with that attitude taking care of an infant...

DeadlyMuffin fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Jan 2, 2023

# ? Jan 2, 2023 20:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »