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if you want a big formally written downer go here and scroll down to the numbered list https://www.international-divorce.com/d-china.htm point 5 will gently caress your brother in specific. getting courts to talk to foreigners is difficult going even in democratic asia, never mind prc. unless your brother can take physically take his kids, consider them completely gone forever. you can call those folks but frankly all he'll get from that firm is condolences, in all probability bob dobbs is dead fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Feb 25, 2023 |
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Feb 25, 2023 19:42
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Well that was a fitting way to end the day. I'll keep that link handy and share it when it isn't going to just shatter my moms mental health entirely. I do appreciate getting the link though.
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Feb 25, 2023 19:47
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If nothing else, (e: try to) remind him to hug his kids, go get ice cream etc, spend some quiet time together. Make sure they're as OK as can be. It's very possible the boys are in as bad a way as everyone else by this, and clearly noones been asking the 8 and 6 yo for their opinions in a little while. I don't envy you Serth, god speed and good work with your large adult brother so far
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Feb 25, 2023 20:18
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If things go south with your brother and his wife, it sounds like it'll be very difficult for him to have any legal recourse to get the children out. China does not recognize dual citizenship, and if the kids entered on Chinese passports the ability of Danish consular officials to help will be limited. If they got married in the PRC and he has any of that documentation that could help make a case that she can't take the kids and cut him out, but it would be at the discretion of local officials and if he doesn't speak Mandarin or know anyone else, he'd be hosed. I'd say he needs to try to salvage the relationship as much as possible, at least until they can leave China again, and to get in touch with Danish consular officers as soon as he can so they know there's a possible parental abduction case.
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Feb 25, 2023 23:42
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SerthVarnee posted:Over the last two years, I've gone from being an unknown disabled guy in sweden, to being listed by Microsoft as a noteworthy epilepsy consultant and developer resource and have even had a consultancy round with NASA about the James Webb Space Telescope images giving me seizures on about 60% of their released images. This is really cool (the consultancy, not the seizures) and wanted to say I feel for you here. I'm sure it's different for everyone but it's hard to describe that special kind of "brain doesn't work" thing after a seizure, not to mention the other effects of probably getting ativaned the gently caress up from it. I don't know how anyone would manage an international extraction on that. I was thinking about this some more and, I know you're done with it and it's you dad handling his gently caress up now, but I think when other people said call the embassy that actually might be the best thing. Cuz his main problem is he is incapable of doing stuff like getting a car to the airport, getting tickets, etc and the embassy does know how to do that and payment can probably be arranged in a non-Chinese way. I know the US embassy will lend people money to get back to the US and arrange for that stuff if you need it. Getting his kids passports though, maybe he should do some snooping and find out where they are but don't take them, monitor poo poo and prepare for an escape attempt if it looks like she's really not gonna let them go back. And not to poo poo on your brother too much but I was also thinking how this exact story happens so much in China, but when it happens it's also always the same thing with the guy being super incompetent and lost in China like this. There's like a certain type of foreign man and Chinese woman that just always seems destined to find each other, and I wonder what's up with that. Maybe competent guys see the warning signs and run before it gets to this? I dunno
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Feb 26, 2023 01:04
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Baddog posted:Uhhh yah if you dont read the language you kinda need a VPN just so all the apps you depend on still work. That is like step loving one of preparing for a china trip. poo poo, install two or three vpns on your phone before you leave in case one stops working. If he had Google translate, getting money out of an ATM and negotiating cash with a cabbie actually shouldn't be *too* hard. Hey, "terminal autist" - I see you trying to portray me as being racist (against Chinese??) for my posts in this thread, pulling one post out and misconstruing it. Reminder that in the post above I was trying to point out that it is actually bad to be giving advice to this guy's brother to try to grab the kids away from mom and flee the country. In any "western" country, that would be seen as (not a good thing at all). So why does it happening in china change the logic? I don't think the in-laws are actually abusing him (I sarcastically said "hitting with sticks", do I really need to use the sarcmark?). I think it is 90%+, at least from what we've been told, that he's just not being talked to. Because he doesn't speak the language. And is apparently kind of an inept dude, who is just sitting there being mad that he can't figure out how to get on the internet. If he is actually in some sort of real duress, I said that the police will definitely help him, and he can probably just walk down the street and find one quickly. I also said they will laugh, because he is so helpless on his own. You shouldn't go to any country without being able to do *something* for yourself, (like, figure out where you are). He won't get disappeared, christ. They will just go get his passport from the wife and put him on a plane back to Europe. No, they won't take the kids away from their chinese mother and put them on a plane with him. He will have to fight it in their courts, and that is probably not going to go well for him, unless he gets some real diplomatic pressure applied or something. Elian Gonzalez pt 2 in china. So he should just try to work on his relationship instead of trying to pull a runner. If this whole thing isn't just made up. Anyways, post here instead of trying to score points "against the mods" or whatever behind my back. Or get plat and pm me. We can have a conversation. I'm barely a mod, christ. I think this is the first time I've posted in GBS in decades, and I get some dinkass calling me a racist in the new QCS, loving hell. Baddog fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Feb 26, 2023 |
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Feb 26, 2023 04:40
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e: nm
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Feb 26, 2023 04:55
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Another common plot beat in these stories is that the couple decide to buy a house in China together, but due to the difficulties in foreign ownership and communication issues with the lawyers and such, whoops, the house ends up being 100% owned by the wife. When he gets back home you'll want your brother to check the paperwork to see what exactly it says. As he's apparently only now seeing the house he bought I'm guessing he has no idea what he legally owns. He absolutely should not try to take the kids on a plane without the wife knowing. She will call it in as a kidnapping and then he's super boned. Especially as it seems at least one of the kids is a Chinese citizen (?). Honestly the best thing is probably to email him some pdfs on mediation and empathy or something and get him to just fake his way into the whole family returning peacefully. He can work out what to do long-term when he's on friendly ground.
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Feb 26, 2023 04:57
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If a parent threatens to separate their kids from their other parent in another country, especially a country where the kids presumably did not grow up in, and the parent isn't abusive or anything yes I would suggest they do what's possible to not let that happen, regardless of where either parent is from. China isn't the only country this stuff has happened in, and it's pretty messed up every time. Doing that to the kids is abuse. If he was doing the same thing with the intention of leaving her in China and separating her from her kids when she hadn't been abusive, using the kids as a tool like that, I'd say she should get the gently caress out of Denmark with those kids. People are skeptical of the Chinese courts to act in a fair way because of how much of an uphill battle this was which wasn't too long ago, and the first steps of that were pretty much just kidnapping and the courts being like "I dunno we'll see" before, after a huge battle, separating the kids which is almost worse. BrainDance fucked around with this message at 05:36 on Feb 26, 2023 |
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Feb 26, 2023 05:28
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Baddog posted:Anyways, post here instead of trying to score points "against the mods" or whatever behind my back. Or get plat and pm me. We can have a conversation. I'm barely a mod, christ. I think this is the first time I've posted in GBS in decades, and I get some dinkass calling me a racist in the new QCS, loving hell. There is a subset of posters from another forum who have been extremely mad for years that this thread exists and does not toe their preferred political line on all things related to the Chinese government. I didn't read it, so it may have actually been a terrible thread, but I think they're high off the success of getting the GBS Ukraine thread closed and making one of their occasional attempts to get this thread shut down as well. BrainDance posted:If a parent threatens to separate their kids from their other parent in another country, especially a country where the kids presumably did not grow up in, and the parent isn't abusive or anything yes I would suggest they do what's possible to not let that happen, regardless of where either parent is from. Yeah, like, I'm not endorsing this guy try to flee the country with his kids, not least because I don't think he's competent enough to pull it off. But I can understand why the thought is there, because if the Chinese parent tries to keep them in China, it will be an absolute steep uphill climb for any sort of resolution in the legal system that isn't just "your children live in China now and maybe if you're lucky you'll be given a visa to see them once a while". Which, if all they've ever known is life elsewhere and they weren't expecting it, is pretty messed up. I think anyone who's lived in China long enough knows of someone at least anecdotally who ended up in a similar situation and it's just a bad time all around.
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Feb 26, 2023 05:51
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Porfiriato posted:There is a subset of posters from another forum who have been extremely mad for years that this thread exists and does not toe their preferred political line on all things related to the Chinese government. I didn't read it, so it may have actually been a terrible thread, but I think they're high off the success of getting the GBS Ukraine thread closed and making one of their occasional attempts to get this thread shut down as well. This thread can have some really bad moments and straight up racism (though, those posters got purged eventually, and there was a big shift) but that's rich coming from the other thread. Like everyone acts like all those posts there leading up the Ukraine war and immediately after it started didn't happen, with incredibly prolific other thread poster saying "I call it THE Ukraine because it pisses off the right people" (Ukrainians? I guess)
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Feb 26, 2023 06:09
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BrainDance posted:If a parent threatens to separate their kids from their other parent in another country, especially a country where the kids presumably did not grow up in, and the parent isn't abusive or anything yes I would suggest they do what's possible to not let that happen, regardless of where either parent is from. Definitely agree with you that using the kids as pawns/leverage is terrible, if that's what is happening. But I think you misspoke? The inverse in my eyes would be if they visited denmark (she is danish, he's chinese), had a falling out there, she says she wants to stay in denmark with the kids and her family, so he just grabs them and tries to flee back to china without her. I understand that people are dubious of chinese courts, but in the opposite situation, I don't think a danish court would be awarding custody to him either. btw, a lot of the stuff we've been told here is just kinda normal. Of course he has no cash, you don't use cash at all anymore, its all digital currency. You have to have your phone linked to a chinese bank account. When we visit, my wife has the official wechat phone with all the chinese apps that we need, and I'm just on my vpn english phone (with the essentials - forums access and a map). She also always takes the passports and whatnot and locks them up in the inlaw's safe, since they are important documents. The internet is spotty in some parts of changsha (and he's apparently way out in the sticks), so she's not *necessarily* "sabotaging his connection". I used to go to the coffee house to get work done. About the only thing that doesn't sound right to me is trying to throw his wallet and keys out the window. Although if he's been bitching up a storm about the conditions, when she's trying to visit her family who she hasn't seen in forever.... He didn't say anything about them always turning the hot water off when he's trying to take a shower. I get that one a lot!
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Feb 26, 2023 06:27
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I think the cultural revolution is coming for this thread it might be best to just stop talking about the goons brother marriage and just talk about K-pop, Japanese convenience stories, and chinese food. Like hot pot and bbq
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Feb 26, 2023 06:40
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It’s actually easier said than done but don’t gently caress up your relationships. And if your spouse/friend or whatever is not happy living overseas and feels alone; then be a better human being and make sure everyone’s happy. Especially with kids involved, Jesus ducking Christ
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Feb 26, 2023 06:55
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Ups_rail posted:I think the cultural revolution is coming for this thread it might be best to just stop talking about the goons brother marriage and just talk about Yeah, one of the worst mods I can remember (who was deliberately kept away from politics for being loving braindead) started a “no politics in GBS” push the moment Neo-QCS opened  I don’t read your dogshit subforum; leave this thread alone.
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Feb 26, 2023 06:56
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BrainDance posted:I was thinking about this some more and, I know you're done with it and it's you dad handling his gently caress up now, but I think when other people said call the embassy that actually might be the best thing. Cuz his main problem is he is incapable of doing stuff like getting a car to the airport, getting tickets, etc and the embassy does know how to do that and payment can probably be arranged in a non-Chinese way. I know the US embassy will lend people money to get back to the US and arrange for that stuff if you need it. You're right that repatriation funds can be available for people in dire situations, but not all countries do that, and consular officials will ask that the person exhaust all personal means of getting themselves home first. Since this guy has been able to talk to his family, he would be able to ask them to send funds via Western Union. Help with translation or doing basic things for himself is also unlikely, unless the consular officer is feeling extremely generous. The embassy can give some advice and will try to do what it can if it really turns into a parental abduction case, but realistically the best thing to do is try to salvage the relationship so it doesn't get to that point. Trying to take the kids out by himself is definitely a bad idea. Even if he had all their passports, if a foreign national parent shows up at the airport with Chinese national minors, they will likely be asked for a letter from the Chinese national parent consenting to the travel. (This is normal in a lot of countries, not just China) If he doesn't have that he would probably just get turned around to go get one, but there's a chance he gets detained at exit control until they call the spouse and ask what's happening.
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Feb 26, 2023 06:56
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Ups_rail posted:I think the cultural revolution is coming for this thread it might be best to just stop talking about the goons brother marriage and just talk about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkpV_fCeuIE
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Feb 26, 2023 07:05
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drat where are the samurai pizza cats?
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Feb 26, 2023 07:11
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Baddog posted:Definitely agree with you that using the kids as pawns/leverage is terrible, if that's what is happening. But I think you misspoke? The inverse in my eyes would be if they visited denmark (she is danish, he's chinese), had a falling out there, she says she wants to stay in denmark with the kids and her family, so he just grabs them and tries to flee back to china without her. I understand that people are dubious of chinese courts, but in the opposite situation, I don't think a danish court would be awarding custody to him either. I meant if it was completely reverse, a hypothetical situation with different people. A Chinese person and a Danish person and they lived in China but were visiting his home in Denmark but the Danish parent starts threatening to keep the kids there but not have the other stay in Denmark. I'd say the right thing for the Chinese parent to do would be to try to get her and her kids away from him and back to China. Or other countries that dont involve Denmark and China. Though there's a good chance my inverse broke down somewhere, I haven't sleep much for a couple days lol, but what I mean is "it's not necessarily about keeping the kids from living in China." I'm just talking about the ethics of it, not the legal situation (and it was a little confusing as to which nationality they actually had for a while, at least for me, probably cuz of said sleep deprivation.) But he should still be aware of where their passports are because poo poo sounds unstable, not just bounce off to the airport but, if things got real batshit he might have other options. And, I posted about this in the AI thread but given what my training data is it's kinda relevant here. The reason I've slept like garbage is I've been doing a whole thing training GPT. I trained a model on the Daoist classics. Laozi, Liezi, and Zhuangzi. And got it to basically generate new chapters for those books. So if you're into classical Chinese philosophy this is GPT-Neo's attempt at it.   
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Feb 26, 2023 08:13
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we need a nine dashed line seperating tbe sovereignty between gbs and qcs alternatively we rename to taiwan thread also it's not racist if i'm talking about my own people, it's part of being chinese!! i mean are any of them in that other thread even of chinese or asian decent? do any of them even live in asia??
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Feb 26, 2023 09:11
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also sorry for your loss brother of danish goon stuck in china. sounds like he's a prick and his soon to be ex wife got tired of his irredeemable inability to be sympathetic, or to even loving adapt to different situations despite being well aware of what he's signed up for. so what's his username???
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Feb 26, 2023 09:20
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Given the liquidation of the Ukraine thread, I'd not be surprised at all if this thread ends up next in the crosshairs for 'if you want to chat casually about China, GBS is not the place please take it to Tourism and Travel or to CSPAM  'I think it's time we all took a more fair and balanced view of the CCP, which is leading the charge to a multipolar world where the evil wizards of America are cast down, where you can kill your own people without being disrespected, and where even the minorities are allowed to do their little dances.
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Feb 26, 2023 09:32
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Booty Pageant posted:also it's not racist if i'm talking about my own people, it's part of being chinese!! true, I've never known anyone who hates chinese people more than other chinese people
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Feb 26, 2023 09:33
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Strategic Tea posted:Given the liquidation of the Ukraine thread, I'd not be surprised at all if this thread ends up next in the crosshairs for 'if you want to chat casually about China, GBS is not the place please take it to Tourism and Travel or to CSPAM I know you are joking but wtf about the second paragraph
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Feb 26, 2023 09:35
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That's exactly what an autocrat means when they say they want their sovereignty to be respected. There's a reason Russian and Chinese rhetoric is absolutely full of claims they're just protecting the purely neutral concept of rational, responsible national sovereignty 
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Feb 26, 2023 09:43
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Booty Pageant posted:we need a nine dashed line seperating tbe sovereignty between gbs and qcs If this thread gets closed then ropening it as the Taiwan / general east Asia thread would be the move I would take.
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Feb 26, 2023 09:43
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The Good Eating Asia Corn on Pizza Space
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Feb 26, 2023 10:42
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germane to the taiwan/china topic split and being good husbands, etc. my wife is taiwanese, in-laws are taiwanese (natch!) and i'm not. so now that my career is settling down and i'm able to devote more time to it, i'd like to start learning more taiwanese and mandarin (beyond the swears) so i can communicate with my in-laws more fully. also, we're hoping to raise our kid trilingually (mandarin, english, and czech) so i'd like to at least have a foundation in some decent mandarin. plus i love going back to taiwan and we're hoping to go there (god willing and xi doesn't start any poo poo) for a visit next year or this christmas, so it'd be great to be more independent and be able to go out and do stuff we need to do (groceries, help out, etc.) without my wife translating or google translating everything. does anyone have any recommended online courses or textbooks for self-learners? i've got good experience in learning slavic languages and german but every time i try to pick up mandarin i bounce off the textbooks really hard.
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Feb 26, 2023 10:43
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"Under communism all minorities dance." - Tony Daniels, in The Wilder Shores of Marx: Journeys in a Vanishing World
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Feb 26, 2023 10:48
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Wonton posted:I know you are joking but wtf about the second paragraph If you don't like that bit you can always just post about how the hk protests from umbrella movement onwards were clearly CIA ops and should've been crushed harder, or how Taiwan has always been under the domain of Beijing and Taiwanese independence is a myth spread by the CIA, or how Uighurs are actually treated really well and the concentration camps are a myth spread by the CIA and also the Uighurs are all terrorists who are in some way affiliated with the CIA so any mistreatment they get, which is none, is perfectly justified.
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Feb 26, 2023 11:15
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ili posted:If you don't like that bit you can always just post about how the hk protests from umbrella movement onwards were clearly CIA ops and should've been crushed harder, or how Taiwan has always been under the domain of Beijing and Taiwanese independence is a myth spread by the CIA, or how Uighurs are actually treated really well and the concentration camps are a myth spread by the CIA and also the Uighurs are all terrorists who are in some way affiliated with the CIA so any mistreatment they get, which is none, is perfectly justified. Holy ducking poo poo this is insane
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Feb 26, 2023 11:26
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Wonton posted:Holy ducking poo poo this is insane this is also basically the greatest hits of 20th-21st century history of totalitarian political systems. hungary '56? totally wanted those tanks there. czechoslovakia '68? we were stopping a nato invasion! tianamen '89? what are you talking about, never happened.
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Feb 26, 2023 11:32
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ili posted:If you don't like that bit you can always just post about how the hk protests from umbrella movement onwards were clearly CIA ops and should've been crushed harder, or how Taiwan has always been under the domain of Beijing and Taiwanese independence is a myth spread by the CIA, or how Uighurs are actually treated really well and the concentration camps are a myth spread by the CIA and also the Uighurs are all terrorists who are in some way affiliated with the CIA so any mistreatment they get, which is none, is perfectly justified. You forgot the part where we talk about Chinese people like they're a simple hivemind united in their love for the party with absolutely no distinguishing characteristics or individual thoughts, and all of rural China is just the Shire but Asian. But it's totally not racist because white guy on comedy forum is pro-China Wow if only I could live in this rural paradise it must all be like because the Global Times posted a video. Chinese farmer who cant afford his cancer treatment because the local party officials are stealing his money and his land isn't real because there is no poverty in China BrainDance fucked around with this message at 11:56 on Feb 26, 2023 |
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Feb 26, 2023 11:36
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this is the ChInA thread now
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Feb 26, 2023 11:48
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BrainDance posted:there is no poverty in China Wtf communism works without stupid americans making GBS threads it up with their individualism. Xi could sort this poo poo out
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Feb 26, 2023 11:49
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I liked family mart donuts but 7 11 hotdogs are nice
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Feb 26, 2023 12:02
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Xerxes17 posted:If this thread gets closed then ropening it as the Republic of China / general east Asia thread would be the move I would take. 
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Feb 26, 2023 12:45
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Strategic Tea posted:Given the liquidation of the Ukraine thread, I'd not be surprised at all if this thread ends up next in the crosshairs for 'if you want to chat casually about China, GBS is not the place please take it to Tourism and Travel or to CSPAM First they came for the everest thread and i did nothing.
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Feb 26, 2023 13:33
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ili posted:If you don't like that bit you can always just post about how the hk protests from umbrella movement onwards were clearly CIA ops and should've been crushed harder, or how Taiwan has always been under the domain of Beijing and Taiwanese independence is a myth spread by the CIA, or how Uighurs are actually treated really well and the concentration camps are a myth spread by the CIA and also the Uighurs are all terrorists who are in some way affiliated with the CIA so any mistreatment they get, which is none, is perfectly justified. Please, it was actually Adrian Zenz and the State Department. BrainDance posted:You forgot the part where we talk about Chinese people because there is no poverty in China You can lift a lot of people out of poverty by changing the definition of what you consider poverty. The Washington Post posted:In 2019, China’s statistics bureau defined rural poverty as below per capita annual income of 2,300 yuan ($356). Previous officials have defined the poverty line as less than 4,000 yuan ($620) a year, or $1.69 a day — less than the World Bank’s threshold of $1.90 a day and well below the $5.50 a day that economists recommend for upper-middle-income countries.
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Feb 26, 2023 14:07
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Fumble posted:First they came for the everest thread and i did nothing. I remember that thread. what happened to it? OMG did everest vote for trump?
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