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Assuming the stories are real, it's fascinating the information you can gather from the 'blank spaces'
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Feb 6, 2024 19:38
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Who told these people that rear end in a top hat is two separate words? Mr. William rear end Hole
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Feb 6, 2024 19:39
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Captain Hygiene posted:Taking over lifelong care for a disabled person seems like a pretty huge ask for a family member you *haven't* been estranged from for most of a decade, I don't even know how you'd even think of it as a possibility here. Guilting them back into contact, maybe? oh you just know from the fact the lawyer was involved they tried to force it on her via a legal route
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Feb 6, 2024 19:42
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Cyber Punk 90210 posted:Reeeeeeally want to know the back story that led to the last 7 years of no contact An "incident"
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Feb 6, 2024 19:46
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quote:Nevertheless, we are happy with our decision and have made arrangements for our son’s care without her. This line really gets me - like they were clearly able to make arrangements that didn't require their daughter to be life long carer for her brother easily enough, just wanted to save some money.
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Feb 6, 2024 19:50
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Stoner Sloth posted:This line really gets me - like they were clearly able to make arrangements that didn't require their daughter to be life long carer for her brother easily enough, just wanted to save some money. Given how delusional the OP is, I took it to mean she had her lawyer try to make the daughter responsible for her sibling despite her protests, but obviously your interpretation makes way more sense.
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Feb 6, 2024 19:57
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AITAH for wanting to leave my wife because she had a "go bag"??quote:My wife and I have been together for 5 years now, we have a 2 years old and we were planning to expand our family. I decided to tidy up my wife's closet because there was a mold problem in garage and I decided to inspect the whole house. There I found a gym bag with clothes, some dry fruits, some tampons and like $1000. I asked my wife about it and her face suddenly lost its color. So much I could say about this moron but I'll just leave it at lol, lmao.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:12
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Every woman should have a go bag Tbf everybody should have a go bag but I digress She needs more supplies in hers, some dried fruit sounds like a great way to wind up with a moldy ziploc in your go bag Guy is dumb but he is feeling especially stung because he doesn’t like being stereotyped. Maybe he should examine himself to find out why he is so much more hurt by this
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Feb 6, 2024 20:16
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The government literally tells you to have a go bag in case a natural disaster happens
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Feb 6, 2024 20:18
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haveblue posted:The government literally tells you to have a go bag in case a natural disaster happens But that doesn't seem to be why she has it? She specifically says it's in case she needs to flee her abusive husband. Obviously this is one guys side of the story but having a go bag in the event your partner becomes abusive if they have no history of abuse kinda feels like getting your kid a paternity test just in case your wife cheated on you.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:22
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haveblue posted:The government literally tells you to have a go bag in case a natural disaster happens I was trapped in my car on top of a hill surrounded by floodwater with half a can of pringles and two bottles of water, after that I started carrying a go bag in my car.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:24
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Teabag Dome Scandal posted:But that doesn't seem to be why she has it? She specifically says it's in case she needs to flee her abusive husband. Obviously this is one guys side of the story but having a go bag in the event your partner becomes abusive if they have no history of abuse kinda feels like getting your kid a paternity test just in case your wife cheated on you. Every woman should have a go bag, and we have an entire thread you can read for tips as to why any given woman might want to take a basic rear end precaution in case her boyfriend suddenly decides her body count is too high, or she was looking at a waiter too long, or any of a jillion other things that set dudes off in the stories posted in this very thread
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Feb 6, 2024 20:24
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my wife has a go bag with a couple of passports and pants and a savings account that i cant access in case poo poo gets weird, this isnt offensive its smart as heck
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Feb 6, 2024 20:25
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I'd feel pretty hosed up if I found out my wife had a similar bag packed. I don't think the guy is helping her feel more secure with his whole "I will withdraw to meditate and let you know when I have decided whether or not to divorce you" rather than, like, talking to her about it.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:25
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Husband just needs his own go-bag for whatever contingency he wants, it can be his equal attention go-bagblatman posted:my wife has a go bag with a couple of passports and pants and a savings account that i cant access in case poo poo gets weird, this isnt offensive its smart as heck Do you have one
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Feb 6, 2024 20:26
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rotinaj posted:Every woman should have a go bag, and we have an entire thread you can read for tips as to why any given woman might want to take a basic rear end precaution in case her boyfriend suddenly decides her body count is too high, or she was looking at a waiter too long, or any of a jillion other things that set dudes off in the stories posted in this very thread I guess thats fair but I can see why this guy, assuming the entire story is true, was put off by finding this out. I mean, I don't like the idea of my wife thinking I might some day force her to flee our home out of fear of me even if a thread and mommy forums tell her its logical.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:28
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Is your go-bag supposed to be in the home you share with your potential abuser, where they can stumble upon it? Are you supposed to have one at home and one at work/a friend's house?
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Feb 6, 2024 20:28
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Larry Cum Free posted:I'd feel pretty hosed up if I found out my wife had a similar bag packed. I don't think the guy is helping her feel more secure with his whole "I will withdraw to meditate and let you know when I have decided whether or not to divorce you" rather than, like, talking to her about it. Assuming he is telling the truth I get the feeling that it would be pretty messed up to discover something like that but his reaction kind of taints my opinion of him. Like I would feel like I need to figure some things out so my wife is more comfortable not getting huffy and running straight to divorce. Halloween Jack posted:Is your go-bag supposed to be in the home you share with your potential abuser, where they can stumble upon it? Are you supposed to have one at home and one at work/a friend's house? In abusive or controlling situations the abuser might not let them have a job or close friends so the only place the bag could be for some people is at their home. It should be generally always accessible but in a spot where the abuser won't stumble over it. B-Rock452 fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Feb 6, 2024 |
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Feb 6, 2024 20:29
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If this guy is insecure enough that he’s divorcing her over this without even attempting to understand then she’s right to have a go bag.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:31
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blatman posted:my wife has a go bag with a couple of passports and pants and a savings account that i cant access in case poo poo gets weird, this isnt offensive its smart as heck Having multiple passports is usually a sign of a different kind of go bag
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Feb 6, 2024 20:32
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Teabag Dome Scandal posted:I guess thats fair but I can see why this guy, assuming the entire story is true, was put off by finding this out. I mean, I don't like the idea of my wife thinking I might some day force her to flee our home out of fear of me even if a thread and mommy forums tell her its logical. I was raised by a single mother. I have been in enough situations where a dude who had been dating her for a period of time all of a sudden got weird, and I got caught up in the center of it. You never know what a person is capable of, and taking some basic precautions to make sure you have clothes, money, and transportation that does not rely on other people is a wise move in any situation. If someone had been in a marriage for 45 years and they just found that their significant other has the mentality of DeNiro’s character in Heat, “be ready to walk away from anything in fifteen seconds”, then they probably are totally in the right to start asking questions, IMO
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Feb 6, 2024 20:33
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Deified Data posted:Husband just needs his own go-bag for whatever contingency he wants, it can be his equal attention go-bag yes but mine is camping gear because i'd just become a mountain man if necessary
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Feb 6, 2024 20:39
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B-Rock452 posted:Assuming he is telling the truth I get the feeling that it would be pretty messed up to discover something like that but his reaction kind of taints my opinion of him. Like I would feel like I need to figure some things out so my wife is more comfortable not getting huffy and running straight to divorce. BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:If this guy is insecure enough that he’s divorcing her over this without even attempting to understand then she’s right to have a go bag. I don't know, I completely understand why women might need a go bag. But I don't think it's totally unreasonable to expect a certain level of trust in a relationship either; exactly how much trust is a matter of personal preference. For example we all think a pre-nup is a good idea, but if one party absolutely doesn't want one, is it not better to for them to not proceed with the marriage? Assuming there's no previous abuse, it's not abuse if someone chooses to end a relationship when two people have very different expectations.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:41
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:If this guy is insecure enough that he’s divorcing her over this without even attempting to understand then she’s right to have a go bag. My, "Divorcing my wide because I found her go-bag" has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the go-bag.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:43
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Teabag Dome Scandal posted:But that doesn't seem to be why she has it? She specifically says it's in case she needs to flee her abusive husband. Obviously this is one guys side of the story but having a go bag in the event your partner becomes abusive if they have no history of abuse kinda feels like getting your kid a paternity test just in case your wife cheated on you. Hurt feelings aside (which I understand), there's a huge disparity in severity of the consequences: a kid that isn't yours is an awful drama, absolutely, but an abusive partner may end up straight-up murdering you.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:44
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I think both parties have valid feelings in that story, but the husband going straight to divorce is unreasonable. He's lashing out due to hurt feelings because he had probably never had to think about his wife perceiving him that way, while for her it's likely a lowkey, pervasive part of living as a woman. They're both going to have to extend a bit of charity toward the other but I don't see it happening with divorce being waved around.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:45
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FMguru posted:It's almost certainly right there in the story - I'd wager she was the neglected glass child who always had to take a back seat to her disabled brother's needs (probably with a fair bit of parentification as well) while growing up and her parents were adamant that she'd be her brother's caretaker (and bill-payer) once they passed on, and the daughter noped out of that and went NC. Could also be the opposite, where she was essentially forced into caring for him while she lived at home so her parents could "get a break". That pushes her to move out quicker, she goes LC/NC & her parents spend however long trying to guilt/manipulate her into helping with her brother again. She lawyers up, likely gets an RO to keep them away & everything goes through legal channels on both sides until the poo poo parents made that post.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:47
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Thread: spends years reading curated stories many of which include dudes who suddenly get weird and abusive after a long period of stability Also thread: "a small emergency go-bag is too far man"
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Feb 6, 2024 20:48
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Halloween Jack posted:Is your go-bag supposed to be in the home you share with your potential abuser, where they can stumble upon it? Are you supposed to have one at home and one at work/a friend's house? One at home, one at work, one in the car, one with a neighbor, one buried in the woods
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Feb 6, 2024 20:50
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His long explanation of how he just happened to find and search the entire bag makes me think yeah maybe she would have needed that bag eventually. Just admit you don't trust your wife and were searching her stuff.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:51
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In my very recent, actually current experience with a friend going through this, it's more important that your spouse can't cut off your access to your home, your finances, your transportation, your support network, your ability to make your own legal and medical decisions...if you have those things, you don't need a bag with a change of clothes and some granola bars. If you're a woman already in a situation where you're not allowed to drive or have a bank account, it's a very different set of considerations, obviously.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:51
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DrBouvenstein posted:My, She's right to leave you if you constantly refer to her as "my wide".
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Feb 6, 2024 20:52
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haveblue posted:one buried in the woods wouldn't that jeopardize the beans?
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Feb 6, 2024 20:52
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AceClown posted:Thread: spends years reading curated stories many of which include dudes who suddenly get weird and abusive after a long period of stability 
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Feb 6, 2024 20:52
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AceClown posted:wouldn't that jeopardize the beans? That's why you have a lot of burial sites, no one knows which one is the go bag and which one is the beans
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Feb 6, 2024 20:54
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It's perfectly reasonable for the couple to have a shared go-bag, then individual go-bags that the other partner can't locate/access. You can't predict the future, even with the best of intent the husband could develop a brain tumor or something. But realistically all you need these days is a burner phone, and separate credit card and bank accounts. What are clothes and cash and cashews going to get you that an uber to a convenience store won't? Unless you're fleeing the authorities, but that's a whole different set of circumstances.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:55
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How do you know the Uber driver isn't a serial killer?
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Feb 6, 2024 20:56
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I have a bag with a few of days of clothes, a few days of meds, cash, copies of important info, a couple of books, a charging cable, etc. If I ever need to call 911 and go to the hospital or if I go through (ANOTHER) flood I can survive with some minimal comfort. Once you watch the water come for you a second time you start to think it's good to be prepared. It was so nice to just be able to grab my cat and bag and run during the last flood i dealt with. I've upgraded and modified the bag but ALWAYS HAVE A GO BAG.
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Feb 6, 2024 20:58
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:It's perfectly reasonable for the couple to have a shared go-bag, then individual go-bags that the other partner can't locate/access. You can't predict the future, even with the best of intent the husband could develop a brain tumor or something. Part of the point of a go bag is to make yourself feel more secure If throwing a bag of nuts in there and an old pair of pants help with that feeling…
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Feb 6, 2024 20:58
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relationship prepper
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