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"I'm sexually fulfilled. Woe is me"
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# ? Jun 24, 2024 21:51 |
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quote:shut the gently caress up nooner quote:Everyone in this thread acts like suicide is such a big deal. It isn't. My cousin hung himself and nobody even noticed for like 3 weeks. I'm shooting myself tomorrow as soon as the bullets I ordered for my gun get here, and nobody's gonna loving notice that I'm dead for a few weeks either. It doesn't matter. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Sorry, nooner. BTW, why is every post of yours bolded?
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quote:I am a horrible person. I have a wife of 12 years and 5 children the oldest 2 are mine from a previous relationship. My wife took them in and treats them like her own. In many ways she is closer to them, all 5 of them in fact than I am. quote:Sorry, I'm not the 3-page letter goon. Just a regular old boring gooncrush here.
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quote:Everyone in this thread acts like suicide is such a big deal. It isn't. My cousin hung himself and nobody even noticed for like 3 weeks. I'm shooting myself tomorrow as soon as the bullets I ordered for my gun get here, and nobody's gonna loving notice that I'm dead for a few weeks either. It doesn't matter. Lol you're gonna end up paralyzed on life support and live longer than you would have if you'd just become a chain-smoking alcoholic, like a grown-up
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H.H posted:Sorry, I'm not the 3-page letter goon. Just a regular old boring gooncrush here. Do you know Kane? How has he been doing? How come he doesn't post in this thread anymore?
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To all goons who feel the need to kill themselves because the world is a shitshow: Yes, yes it is. But don't loving kill yourself because of it. Here is a free 3 step program for more happiness: 1. Stop watching the news. Seriously. It will ruin your day and make you feel miserable without you realizing it. I stopped watching the news 3 years ago because I could not stand the constant stream of "refugees, terror, bloodshed, war, decision by politicians that screws the little man, company X got away with something you would be jailed for etc." 2. To stay informed, get a subscription for a quality* major newspaper instead and read that. You can skip articles you do not care about and you get less sensationalist reporting. Get an online subscription to save some bucks and read it on your tablet of choice while commuting to work. * This needs to be an actually good newspaper, in Germany I read Süddeutsche Zeitung, not sure what the equivalent in your country is. 3. Get out into nature more. Go running, walk your dog, go fishing, biking, take regular walks, whatever you like, doesn't have to be sports. You could even buy a ton of your favourite fast food and go to the woods to have a picnic. Just get away from the city and the constant media barrage that hammers down on you every single day. The best thing to do is go hiking onto a mountain and then look down from above. Nothing changes your perspective better than literally changing it and looking down on everything from miles away. Yes this last point sounds like Hippie poo poo. But it can really relax you. This is your life, it is all about you, forget about the bigger picture, treat yourself and forget about all the shitheads in the world. Be a bit egoistic, live a little. AND DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!
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H.H posted:that sociopath girl again This reads like a supermarket-checkout-aisle romance novel or the worst kind of fanfiction. You come off as super self-obsessed by this point. I'm gonna amend the suicidal-tendencies diagnosis from my last post: you're just a drama queen and you're going through a phase. quote:in response to loquascious "uh excuse me but when people are racist against brown people it is actually for a very good reason: brown people are just bad" ![]() H.H posted:big tit guy dog buttz posted:my girlfriend's tits are only big and not huge! loquacius fucked around with this message at 12:53 on Aug 10, 2016 |
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Hopper posted:To all goons who feel the need to kill themselves because the world is a shitshow: This all sounds way worse than dying actually.
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Gay Weed Dad posted:This all sounds way worse than dying actually. Germans very much like to be as bored as possible at all times, working as much overtime as they can get and then finding lovely pastimes to waste their lives on when they finally get off. It is a state of being that they refer to as "Freude" - scholars translate this word as "happiness," but the two concepts have no real relation.
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if you want to die, at least take one of those reptilian bastards with you
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Keys to true happiness: - Pay for a subscription to print media? - Gorge yourself in the woods?
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quote:I have lost interest in the following camgirls that used to give me a boner: pale hot lady that used to get naked for cheap but suddenly decided she was a professional model and now she won't show me her butt for any price, cute punk girl that went into a private channel and literally recorded herself making GBS threads in exchange for roughly $3.50, awesome yoga woman (I would punch a dog if I could touch her abs) that started spouting off about how great Trump is because he recognizes that GUNS are VITAL quote:When I was a teenager I posted a *LOT* of furry and otherkin poo poo online. I was involved in communities, and drew tons of art (much of it furry porn) and so on. The problem is, I was strangely proud of it all and regularly used my real name alongside my online handle. What a loving idiot! quote:I'm a popular furry porn artist.
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FYI I will not be posting any more "shut the gently caress up..." confessions. If you don't want to read other people's comments, just click the question mark button under my avatar to get see only my replies.
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Gay Weed Dad posted:Keys to true happiness: lol get back to nature with a big mac
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H.H posted:I have lost interest in the following camgirls that used to give me a boner: read this in the voice of a town herald issuing a royal proclamation from a balcony announced by a really long bugle with a tapestry hanging from it and poo poo
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Gay Weed Dad posted:Keys to true happiness: You could leave out the newspaper, but most people still want to know what's going on. Newspapers are way less misery inducing than the news on the TV. And everybody should get out more anyway.
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H.H posted:FYI I will not be posting any more "shut the gently caress up..." confessions. Good, now do the same for the ones that are just " ![]()
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Hopper posted:You could leave out the newspaper, but most people still want to know what's going on. Newspapers are way less misery inducing than the news on the TV. Perhaps it is different in Germany but print media here is on its last legs and has become terribly ad ridden.
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Gay Weed Dad posted:Perhaps it is different in Germany but print media here is on its last legs and has become terribly ad ridden. ![]()
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I google myself until I cum
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KomodoWagon posted:Germans very much like to be as bored as possible at all times, working as much overtime as they can get and then finding lovely pastimes to waste their lives on when they finally get off. It is a state of being that they refer to as "Freude" - scholars translate this word as "happiness," but the two concepts have no real relation. lol
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Gay Weed Dad posted:Perhaps it is different in Germany but print media here is on its last legs and has become terribly ad ridden. It actually is. We have a lot of lovely tabloids but we also have a few good newspapers left. However, a subscription for the Süddeutsche Zeitung for example is 30€ a month digital (for 5 devices though, so you can share it) print is something like 60€.
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H.H posted:Sorry, nooner. part of the latest rebranding ![]()
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I'm an unashamed Chaturbate freeloader. Although if you are gonna drop hundreds of dollars on these girls, find ones that are really sensitive to the vibrators that react to tips. I laugh my rear end off at the ones who are thrown across the room by the large/massive tips.Hopper posted:It actually is. We have a lot of lovely tabloids but we also have a few good newspapers left. However, a subscription for the Süddeutsche Zeitung for example is 30 a month digital (for 5 devices though, so you can share it) print is something like 60. Print media is dogshit where I live outside ONE Sunday paper, which is a oval office-hair away from getting bought up and shitcanned by a billionaire, like every other radio station and paper that displeased him. The paper of record intentionally jumbles stories regarding white collar crime so you can't follow it. Also they will edit the online version of the story like five times if the editor thought it was too revealing. It's why decent journalists these days buy the papers on the day. Ilustforponydeath posted:I google myself until I cum Have to say I snickered heavily at this. School Nickname fucked around with this message at 17:02 on Aug 10, 2016 |
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Nooner posted:part of the latest rebranding too bad that rebranding didn't include "making good posts" ![]()
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H.H posted:Everyone in this thread acts like suicide is such a big deal. It isn't. My cousin hung himself and nobody even noticed for like 3 weeks. I'm shooting myself tomorrow as soon as the bullets I ordered for my gun get here, and nobody's gonna loving notice that I'm dead for a few weeks either. It doesn't matter.
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Hopper posted:To all goons who feel the need to kill themselves because the world is a shitshow: Step 4, move to Canada. Everything is a lot more bearable here, and we have bears too. Plus a few months ago there were two capybara's running around Toronto so everyday felt like an IRL Pokemon Go. So don't kill yourself, instead come make some flappy headed Canadian friends. Edit for sp. +: oh yea, weed is going to be legal for recreational use in like 8 months. If you can wait that long just ask a friendly doctor to write you a prescription you can use at our many "medical" dispensaries. Have a nice day friend. crackton fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Aug 10, 2016 |
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crackton posted:Step 4, move to Canada. Everything is a lot more bearable here. And we have bears. And a few months ago there were two capybara's running around Toronto so everyday felt like an IRL Pokemon Go. Colder regions have sky-high alcoholism rates because that's the only way anyone can deal with the winters Please do not encourage vulnerable depressed people to immigrate to your frozen hellhole, thanks ![]() I'd recommend instead that these people move to more rural/suburban areas of California, where there are good laws and good weather
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loquacius posted:Colder regions have sky-high alcoholism rates because that's the only way anyone can deal with the winters no because then I'd have to deal with californians
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loquacius posted:Colder regions have sky-high alcoholism rates because that's the only way anyone can deal with the winters It's doesn't count as alcoholism when you're drinking maple syrup whiskey. Get your facts straight sir !
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loquacius posted:where there are good laws lmao
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H.H posted:Sorry, nooner. just your typical SA Ascension nothing to see here
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quote:Everyone in this thread acts like suicide is such a big deal. It isn't. My cousin hung himself and nobody even noticed for like 3 weeks. I'm shooting myself tomorrow as soon as the bullets I ordered for my gun get here, and nobody's gonna loving notice that I'm dead for a few weeks either. It doesn't matter. As lovely as this one was I got a good laugh out of "IMA KILL MYSELF REAL SOON! REAL SOON, SON! JUST AS SOON AS MY BULLETS GET HERE!" *sits next to the postbox with a frowny face* Ahh, thanks pissbitch. Get real beefy, now. ![]()
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quote:I have an irrational hang up about taking shits. I cannot stand the thought of accidentally not wiping enough so I will always take a shower after I poo poo. If I have to poo poo without access to a shower (such as at work, etc) I will hold it as long as possible. I have started going through 2-3 tubes of diaper rash cream a week because I coat my anus with it to reduce the chance of residue being left behind in case I can't shower. My theory is that this reduces the possibility of residue being left behind. quote:Bless me H.H for I have sinned.
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@Diaper rash goon: maybe invest in a bidet and then stop worrying about how other people poop. Man, your parents must have overpottytrained the poo poo out of you. And the weird dick confession has several terms I don't recognize and would rather not google at work, but I do like how it ends with "My dick is also small" and I think all confessions should automatically get that added onto the end, ok thanks
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for the poo poo goon: https://www.amazon.com/Toto-HW300-W-Portable-Travel-Washlet/dp/B008O1G4LQ also: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/treatment/meds/
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i dont think it's the job of the dick doctor to laugh at his patients lest he wants to stop earning a doctor's salary
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poo poo goon this is gonna blow your mind: how do you know your rear end is clean when you wipe sitting down and can't even see what's on the tp Standing: 1, Sitting: 0 ![]()
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# ? Jun 24, 2024 21:51 |
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ArmZ posted:for the poo poo goon: also: (link to the popular children's book "Everybody Poops" on smile dot amazon dot com)
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