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learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

I found out how the guy I do support work for is stealing from me.

So a brand new pair of my son’s shoes went missing when he left my house once, I made out that I thought it was someone else, but we both knew it was all because I refused to share the apples from my own tree that were for my boy.

Since then I’ve been “helping” him with bags and still stuff has been going missing, three Swiss Army knives, a RBS card reader (looks like a calculator) mini’s enormous scarf and my leatherman just vanished, but there was no way he could have snuck the scarf out.

Moved the book case next to the chair he sits in and the back had been pulled off, behind that was the scarf and the leatherman - he must have stashed them there hoping to retrieve them later.

Anyone know where I can get patio slabs from a place which has one of those vans that can lift pallets?

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Jose
Jul 24, 2007





enjoyed your day in manchester 99?

https://twitter.com/seananstee/status/1393116935970246659?s=20

Red Oktober
May 24, 2006

wiggly eyes!





hemale in pain posted:

Do we have a time frame for that? Like do we gotta do it in a week

It’s over a year.

Frankly I think it’s really irresponsible reporting. Pubs are under enough pressure as it is, as asking people to cut down from the last year is poor form.

Camrath
Mar 19, 2004

The UKMT Fudge Baron


New fudge alert!

I’ve now done a restock of Vanilla, Salted Caramel and Lemon Meringue Pie, and added several new or returning flavours from last year!

New arrivals are:
Whisky and Candied Ginger
White Chocolate and Raspberry
Vegan Biscoff



All available at https://www.fudjit.co.uk now!

As always, use the goon code ‘roastbeefisbest’ to get five-for-four!

All fudge is sold in slabs of approx 100g at £3.50 per, plus postage.

And as an additional note, I just dropped off a large shipment at my first retail stockist ever. So if you happen to be in northern Shropshire you may well see my goodies on shelves next week :D

oh no computer
May 27, 2003



How's it shipped, royal mail?

CancerCakes
Jan 10, 2006


Camrath posted:

All fudge is sold in slabs

Hmmm slabs you say. How many bodies can one fit under one of these "slabs"?

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




approx 1 mouse

Camrath
Mar 19, 2004

The UKMT Fudge Baron


oh no computer posted:

How's it shipped, royal mail?
Royal Mail first class, yeah.

oh no computer
May 27, 2003



i've ordered some, please don't doxx me

ordered extra unicorn barf as it's a mate's child's 5th birthday next week

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Oh globbits



maybe that person had diarrhea and had to go in to go in toilet

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Oh globbits


when i see people speeding or running traffic lights i usually assume they have diarrhea

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Oh globbits


if i were a judge and someone came in my court and said they were speeding because they had diarrhea i'd just let them off with one of those driver education courses and also recommend they see a medical doctor if they offentimes get diarrhea

Party Boat
Oct 31, 2007

where did that other dog come from

who is he



crispix posted:

maybe that person had diarrhea and had to go in to go in toilet

that's when you put your "I've parked like a oval office" lights on

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Oh globbits


if i was on that tram and the driver ran out of the building and came into the tram and apologised for causing the obstruction and explained they had urgent diarrhea i would understand

Meat Wagon
Jul 14, 2004


you're good people crispix

NotJustANumber99
Feb 15, 2012



I'm neither a tram driver nor a traffic warden so I dunno what this has got to do with me.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




Meat Wagon posted:

you're good people crispix

he knows the trials of The Runs

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

I disagree! Only 2 Princesses have died. That is one of the smallest number of dead Princesses you can have.


Oven Wrangler

Just been out for a few beers with some of the guys from work. I'd forgotten how much I missed that sort of thing. Just chilling on a street with ten different pubs on it and hundreds of people celebrating their Fridays together.

I REALLY hope this Indian variant fucks off and doesn't spoil everything for us.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

Making homemade bbq sauce and this poo poo contains like 99% sugar. I should definitely put less sauce on everything.

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Oh globbits


Meat Wagon posted:

you're good people crispix

if i had been a king back in them days they would have remembered me as king crispix the clement, i would have spared invaders the wrath of my might armies for their incursions in my territory if they said they only did it because they were caught short with diarrhea and had to use the facilities

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Oh globbits


and a lot of people had diarrhea back in them days and people even died from diarrhea in them days because they didn't have dettol or immodium

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





crispix posted:

if i had been a king back in them days they would have remembered me as king crispix the clement, i would have spared invaders the wrath of my might armies for their incursions in my territory if they said they only did it because they were caught short with diarrhea and had to use the facilities

battles must've been v gross back then people just getting their bowels cut open all over the place. dying cos you stood on someones intestine/guts/blood/mucus and slip and smash your head

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

I disagree! Only 2 Princesses have died. That is one of the smallest number of dead Princesses you can have.


Oven Wrangler

Front page of the Bristol Post:

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-throws-whole-strawberry-cheesecake-5413570

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

I disagree! Only 2 Princesses have died. That is one of the smallest number of dead Princesses you can have.


Oven Wrangler

"Abrupt and inexplicable."

kecske
Feb 28, 2011

it's round, like always



one of the tables in the workshop at work has DIARRHOEA lovingly stencilled in big letters down one side of it because the guy it belonged to suffered from it all the time but could never remember how to spell it for the self-certify sick note things

Gasmask
Apr 27, 2003

And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee


just say the runs imho

NotJustANumber99
Feb 15, 2012



I dream of a bit of diarrhoea tthese days, so bunged up for so long

Looke
Aug 2, 2013




this entire article was based on a reddit post lmao

i loving hate the bristol post

freelop
Apr 28, 2013

Where we're going, we won't need fries to see





Camrath posted:

New fudge alert!

Ordered!
First time ordering so done a big mixed bunch

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

I ran crying to the mods because someone bought me a title with naughty words in it. (twice!)
I am the world's softest bitch and you you should remind me of it forever. If this text is gone it's because I couldn't handle being a fucking loser.


Smellrose

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

ROMANIAN IMMIGRANTS are ABDUCTING THE QUEEN'S SWANS to PROTEST ABOUT PALESTINE



(roll a new Daily Mail headline? y/n)

Where did you find this magnificent picture?

Sonderval
Sep 10, 2011


Fudge has been purchased.

NotJustANumber99
Feb 15, 2012



Bit of a grinder mishap yesterday, need new trousers

Vrih
Apr 4, 2004
:)

NotJustANumber99 posted:

Bit of a grinder mishap yesterday, need new trousers

It's spelled grindr

Gasmask
Apr 27, 2003

And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee


What’s with this weather eh lads

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




swans on twitter are an endless source of amusement

https://twitter.com/thelincolnite/status/1391347223963881473

the swan is healthy and has been released. it has a nest now

Salisbury Snape
May 26, 2014
While a grain platform can be used for corn, a specialized corn head is ordinarily used instead.



I'm very hungover. I vaguely remember running around the cliffs hunting for the 6 missing Guineafowl in the rain. I also think I wrestled the turkey back into the barn.
We failed to escape the Dark Castle again and I broke my new guitar tuner by dropping in in my beer :(
12h smoked pork shoulder was fantastic with brioche buns and dirty fries

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

But how is the chock?

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face



Had my second jab today, decided I felt well enough after my surgery last week. :toot:

Bafflingly they've booked my first hearing "rehab" appointment as a virtual one, despite the fact that my implant won't have been activated yet. I assume they are planning on telling me a load of stuff I already know plus more "expectation management" in advance of switch-on day.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





Lol but I hope it all goes well

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learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh

As a parrot owner I can tell that swan did that sock thing to it’s own dumb self and the police haven’t done the smallest bit of research into bird behaviour. Birds will just play with found objects or, more likely it chased someone and stole the sock and then did a stupid.

I have had to remove toilet rolls, both empty and full, from around an angry parrot’s head more times than I care to remember.

Few weeks back Derbyshire police spent a day searching for “base jumpers” who were in fact the two parachutists minding their own business we watched doing a low pass over the Tom Cruise set.

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