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OOPS, we hosed up. We all hosed up and E3 is here again still. The rippling week-long fart from the industry wafts back in through the window. No Maddox style essays from me this year, and also, hey 90s kids remember maddox? I bet he's a poo poo person nowadays The lightning in a bottle of Wii Music and Kinectimals is gone. It can no longer be recaptured. No Joel McHale, no laser tag, no luchadors. E3 (which stands for Everyone Eats Eggs) has become too safe and controlled for trainwrecks to happen anymore. It's all carefully prepared vertical slices and focused curation now. Let's reminisce about E3's better days with some old rear end gifs from previous threads because I'm loving lazy E3 begins in less than 2 weeks. All of the talk at E3 2017 was about three games: Mario Odyssey, Wolfenstein 2, and Assassins Creed Origins, and at least one of them was probably good. I literally can't remember anything else about last year's E3. Maybe it's because America was and continues to be literally in Hell and I was distracted. Or maybe it just really sucked Wait there was one really good thing which was Devolver's shitpost of a conference and subsequent fever dream of a live stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqPT9hyPANs The live stream, which felt like it was ghostwritten by Eric Andre, featured drunk people shouting at each other, kaiju wrestling, Multibowl, and short films about dogs. What did Microsoft even have? I guess Ori 2? Without kids pretending to fly through Disney Kinect or Jeremy doing a great job with the PS Move, it's hard to remember anything specific about E3 at this point. It's the year before the PS5 is announced or whatever, so some games might disappear, only to resurface later as 'next-gen experiences'. There will also be a couple of teasers for next-gen games that show no gameplay but convince gamers that someone "won" E3. Microsoft has to show that they have, well, anything beyond Forza and Crackdown. Sony has been coasting at this point, and Nintendo in general doesn't really give a gently caress. NOTABLE GAMES AT E3: Spiderman (PS4) Fire Emblem (Switch) Smash Bros 2018 (Switch) Days Gone (PS4) Anthem (multiplatform) Call of Duty Battle Royale and Battlefield Battle Royale (i wish I was joking) Pokemon (Switch) Metroid Prime 4 (Switch) Vampyr (multiplatform) Kingdom Hearts 3 (lol) Red Dead Redemption 2 (multiplatform) Crackdown (Xbox One) TEASED TO BE AT E3: Splinter Cell Resident Evil Prey Borderlands 3 NOT LIKELY TO BE AT E3: Elder Scrolls Dragon Age JUNE 9 EA PLAY 2018 (11AM PT) E3 kicks off with the corporation that force pushed the loot box movement into a corner with the ire of politicians, Iger, and European countries reigning hellfire on them. This year they'll show you how much they've learned from the experience -- absolutely nothing and here's some more loot boxes. JUNE 10 MICROSOFT (1PM PT) Phil Spencer's here to tell you that this year, it's all about the gamers. We hear you LOUD AND CLEAR, gamers! Gamers gamers gamers gamers BETHESDA (6:30PM PT) We literally don't know anything about what Bethesda is showing at E3. Did they pre-pay for the stage a year ago and just forget? They're teasing something about Prey (maybe it's an actual advertising campaign), and people are convinced Starfield is a thing. DEVOLVER (8 PM PT) They saved E3 last year, how will they troll the world this year.... JUNE 11 SQUARE ENIX SHOWCASE (10 AM PT) A press event dedicated specifically to vaporware such as Kingdom Hearts 3 and FF7 Remake, although maybe they'll announce another Nier game... a mobile one with gacha elements. UBISOFT (1 PM PT) Having finally broken free from the threat of the Viviendi acquisition, maybe this year Ubisoft will get back to their roots of throwing incredibly entertaining disaster parties on stage. PC GAMING SHOW (3PM PDT) PC Gamer has confirmed that the PC Gaming Show is returning to E3 for its 4th year, as it continues to search for its first viewer. It will have DRAKE'S CAKES (tm) NINTENDO: SPLATOON 2 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP OPENING ROUNDS (3:30-6:00 PM PT) SONY (6 PM PT) I hope you like Days Gone, Call of Duty and Spiderman because those are the tentpoles of Sony's conference this year. Which I guess is enough legs for a stool at least. JUNE 12 NINTENDO E3 DIRECT (9:00 AM PT) Nintendo says this direct is only about 2018 games, so it will be around 3 minutes long. Maybe there will be an Animal Crossing? NINTENDO TREEHOUSE LIVE (follows E3 Direct, three days of streaming) NINTENDO: SPLATOON 2 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP FINALS NINTENDO: SMASH BROS INVITATIONAL 2018 http://i.imgur.com/oJ8XgNJ.gifv Geoff Keighley will host Youtube's E3 coverage again (which usually only runs one day). E3's official partner is Twitch so finding a stream there should be piss easy. As usual, Giant Bomb, Easy Allies, etc. will do live coverage. And Nintendo's Treehouse content will be both on Twitch and on their e3 website (e3.nintendo.com). The 7th Guest fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Jun 5, 2018 |
# ? Apr 27, 2018 04:01 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 09:20 |
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100 games paradrop into one convention center
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 04:06 |
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They should open E3 with Conan going through different big video games similar to his Emmy intro back in 2006 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o67XXwVrts4 He doens't actually have to be there or host anything, just do this but video games and Conan
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 04:14 |
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E3 E3 E3!
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 04:46 |
So where's the death pool for when Nintendo announces Switch Smash as being a port and doesn't say anything about the new Fire Emblem?
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 04:47 |
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It's gonna be really hosed up whatever year the PS5 gets announced since the 4 still feels "new" to me. Will probably finally cool it on wanting to be up with new gens, esp since getting the 4 already took me a bit.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 04:48 |
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Cuntellectual posted:So where's the death pool for when Nintendo announces Switch Smash as being a port and doesn't say anything about the new Fire Emblem? I hope it's a port of Brawl with tripping and everything.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 05:36 |
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Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.” We’ll also get the same complaints about boobs and violence, especially if some dingbat shoots some people before/during the event days. Trump will be invoked. None of the good games shown will come before 2020. Personally I’m hoping for an Oculus upgrade to match the Vive Pro. We’ll see.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 06:37 |
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bloodysabbath posted:Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.” Ok.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 06:45 |
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It's my first time paying attention to E3 do not let me down video game gods I want Just Dance 2019
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 06:45 |
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Fastest I've seen a thread implode really
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 06:47 |
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bloodysabbath posted:Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.”
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 06:50 |
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bloodysabbath posted:Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.” How ethical
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 07:03 |
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bloodysabbath posted:Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.” the victimized Gamer
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 07:07 |
Motto posted:It's gonna be really hosed up whatever year the PS5 gets announced since the 4 still feels "new" to me. Will probably finally cool it on wanting to be up with new gens, esp since getting the 4 already took me a bit. CharlieFoxtrot posted:Fastest I've seen a thread implode really Also, let me be the first to coin the PS5 as .
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 07:36 |
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bloodysabbath posted:Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.” this is a Bad post
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 07:39 |
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Psychedelicatessen fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Apr 27, 2018 |
# ? Apr 27, 2018 07:44 |
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bloodysabbath posted:Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.” sounds like this years e3 is shaping up to be a monster
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 07:44 |
E3 2018 is going to reveal games that are going places games have never gone before, and enhance the gaming experience with dynamic ecosystems that emphasize social interactivity over linear narratives. Gamers are going to love it, because with sharper graphics and faster frame rates, the envelope is constantly being pushed and blurring the line between reality and compelling fantasy worlds where the choices are endless.
Cream-of-Plenty fucked around with this message at 10:14 on Apr 27, 2018 |
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 10:11 |
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I'm excited
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 10:23 |
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anthem will be presented on stage to the sound of Good charlote’s ‘The anthem’, gamers will remember tge rebel yell of bioware and finally forgive the ending of mass effect3 and their childhoods end imo
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 11:22 |
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Motto posted:It's gonna be really hosed up whatever year the PS5 gets announced since the 4 still feels "new" to me. Will probably finally cool it on wanting to be up with new gens, esp since getting the 4 already took me a bit. I agree this year will be hosed up.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 11:23 |
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bloodysabbath posted:Time for the yearly clickbait bonanza where journo slime who long ago had their love of games die track and complain about the ratio of dresses to blazer/tee/jeans combos on stage. Expect headlines like “We NEED more female presenters on stage to present lovely open world games. Here’s why it matters.”
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 11:24 |
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Wasn't it teased that Cyberpunk will be at E3 in some capacity?
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 11:43 |
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Can't wait for everyone to be excited for Smash Switch for all of two minutes before going back to Melee
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 11:47 |
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i think we got a few years till the next gen, considering the dumb .5 generation we got going on
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 11:48 |
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Shenmue was and will always be cult classic garbage and the notion of being this "excited" for 3 is unsettling. Truly the height of E3.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 13:33 |
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https://i.imgur.com/YeTUsgC.mp4
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 13:41 |
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Free Ravi Drums
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 13:42 |
Palpek posted:Wasn't it teased that Cyberpunk will be at E3 in some capacity? Now that folks seem to have really taken to heart the lessons taught by Witcher 3 (Horizon, Assassins Creed Origins, God of War) I am excited to see what the next big thing is going to be. What I'm saying is CDPR is perfect please don't let me down
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 13:43 |
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Nintendo Direct is the only thing I look forward to at E3 each year. I watch the Sony conference but it's usually got a lot of stuff I'm not interested in. I stopped caring about MS after the Xbox One came out, I do like watching those streams while other people commentate on them though, usually lots of sighs and jokes. I'm sure there will be one or two surprises that pop up out of no where, there usually is.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 13:45 |
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I'm going to “roast” videogames
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 14:09 |
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I like turtles.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 14:58 |
an actual dog posted:I'm going to “roast” videogames
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 15:07 |
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gee this started off dour! I love E3 though even if last year's was mainly "lol we have nothing" from MS and a repeat of things coming soon from Sony. Ubisoft actually had a good year with AC Origins and Kingdom Battle so I expect more stuff related to DLC and support for their games from 2017. EA is going to be entertaining lol. I feel like we're overdue new poo poo to show off for PS4 and Nintendo will be dropping some surprises. "Only 2018 games" could still mean anything since they announce things closer to release anyway. According to investor poo poo we'll probably see Fire Emblem and maybe a teaser of a new Pokemon. Sony's 2016 E3 still stands out to me as the high benchmark with reveals for God of War, Spiderman, Detroit, Hideo Kojima's nightmare game, the incredible RE7 teaser including the "play tonight" demo, and Horizon footage. Maybe that's why 2017 felt so lackluster; it was a repeat but at least all of those will be out except Spiderman. I feel like this may be the year we get Death Stranding gameplay at long last, too.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 15:21 |
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I need a source for this.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 15:48 |
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vyst posted:I need a source for this. devolver digital from e3 last year
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 16:02 |
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Really only caring about news on division 2
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 16:03 |
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I really hope devolover does something cool again.
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 16:06 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 09:20 |
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I expect to watch one or more of these events, paying attention only when trailers are running, posting low effort snark here at other times
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# ? Apr 27, 2018 16:08 |