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Shimrra Jamaane posted:PETE HARSHNISH i love you so much there is a heaven for penises, and i will take you there
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Mar 27, 2011 19:41
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This is a bit of a long stretch, but can anyone remember a goon that was in some *'s got talent show and had a dance crew all in yellow suits or something like that? They 'danced' to the sounds. (E.g. bomb went off, they all fall) I don't have archives, but I can't even remember if it was a thread, I just want to watch the videos again.
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Mar 28, 2011 01:06
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Anyone remember that E/N thread where a goonette was staying in her parents trailer home, and the place was falling to pieces? Bits I can remember were stuff like:
This would have been about this time last year, except I can't find anything about it. She was trying to move out but I think she stopped posting and the thread died. Anyone remember it/got updates?
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Mar 28, 2011 03:54
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I got platinum and archives pretty much just to look for it, but can't find it (probably because it's search-proof) but hopefully someone else remembers: A couple of years ago there was a thread where a poster was telling a story about his typical day and it was mundane until every time he encountered another person (who was usually acting normal) he would find some perceived slight and initiate a confrontation that was then hilariously narrated. I seem to remember the "fight scenes" were hilarious detailed, repetitive and obviously (awesomely) fake. Pretty sure it would have been GBS but I can't remember for certain. An example would have been something vaguely like: "I saw my postal carrier in front of my house as I was leaving for work and he said 'hello'. I asked where my new Gamepro was and when he said he didn't know I put on my sunglasses  and kicked him in the stomach and punched him in the face. Then I kicked him in the head and punched him in the side of the head, and when he raised his hands to defend his face I adjusted my punch to his stomach. I then kicked him in the leg and kicked him in the other leg and punched him in the chest. By this time I had edged him to the end of the driveway so I roundhouse kicked him into the garbage can and calmly adjusted my shades as I left for school."It went on and on like this and I remember it being absolutely hilarious at least at the time. Hopefully someone else remembers this?
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Mar 28, 2011 15:30
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From here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3238826&pagenumber=19&perpage=40#post373616582 I came home this afternoon after picking up my copy of gta and I smelled something funny from my neighbors house. I went over there and the door was unlocked so I went right in. Sure enough there was my neighbor and two of his friends smoking to their hearts content. I told them they had two options, one- they could put the joints out or two- I would put the joints out for them. My neighbor had run ins with me before so he knew I meant business so he threw his joint down and told me to leave. I said you made a wise choice but I'm still calling the cops and then I turned to leave. My neighbor then got up off the couch got behind me and said a few cuss words and told me to mind my business. Well that did it. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said "lets get high". I then front kicked him a good 8 feet in the air. Then his other friend came at me with the bong, I grabbed his arm, snapped it and then hit him in the stomach with the bong. His other friend ran into the kitchen so I went after him. He was in the corner crying so I said "this is your brain" and then I grabbed a frying pan and said "this is your brain on drugs" and then I hit him in the head as hard as I could with the frying pan. After that I called the cops and they came over and arrested my neighbor and his friends. As I was leaving the sarge shouted out to me thanks. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said " well you know sarge, perhaps if we build a freaking dunkin doughnuts on this street it would give you guys a excuse to ride up here once or twice a week and keep the crime down. I then threw my shades on the ground to let him know I meant business. I feel pretty good about what I did for my neighborhood today. ~mjq jazz bar Me and one of my friends went out today for some dinner so we stopped at a pretty nice restaurant. I don't smoke and most of the time I sit in the non smoking section but I didn't feel like walking to the back of the restaurant today so me and my friend sat at the first table we came to in the smoking section. Since most ppl should be aware that I don't smoke I didn't think I would have any problems. I was wrong. This jerk lit up a cigarette right next to me. I couldn't belive this fat jerk was disrepecting me like this so I turned around and looked him right in the eye and said " you might want to put that out fag..........That is,if you value your health". The guy said a couple of cuss words and told me to go to the non smoking section. Well that did it. I got up went over to the table and said "excuse me fag but you didn't clean your plate", and then I took his plate and bashed him over the head with it. Then his friend that was with him got up and took a swing at me, I ducked it and then gave him a swift round kick to the ribs. I then hip tossed him on the table and then I turned around and looked one of the waiters right in the eye and said "this orders to go" and then I tossed the table with the guy on it a good 14 feet across the room. As me and my friend were storming out the manager apologized to us but I told him it was too late as I would never eat there again. ~mjq jazz bar So, I was at work yesterday, and I happened to walk by this guy's desk. I noticed on his computer screen that he had his personal E-mails pulled up. I asked him who he thought he was to do this on company time, and then, he told me that his daughter was sick at home, so he was checking up on her. I then punched his cimputer screen out, and Look him straight in the eye and said, " Who do you think I am? Jerry Lewis? I dont want to hear your sob story, so get back to work before I get you fired." He then said a few cusswords, and then, then He tried to punch me, I blocked it, then , I gave him a swift, round kick to the groin. I asked him if he wanted some more, and he came at me, again, so, I slapped him, then I hip tossed him into the nearest filing cabinent. I looked Over my should at anther worker who was standing near by, and I said...." File him under G..... for garbage." Needless to say, I was quite pleased, because now, that means there one less person in the company for people to look at. All eyes should be on me. I'm a stud. ~ mjq jazz bar Well, I walk in to buy some tissues, and at the counter, I hear the manager talking about some skateboard punks in the back by the garbage bins. The guy said he was about to have to call the cops. I told him there's no need to, I'll take care of it myself. So, I walked to the back of the store, and lo and behold, a couple of good for nothings were tearing the place up. A couple of them asked me what I was doing here, so I took of my shades, looked them straight in eye, and said, " Well boys, I'm here to take out the trash, then I grabed one of their skateboards, and broke it over my knee. Then, one of them threw a punch at me. I caught it, and looked thr punk straight in the eye, and said " I'm afraid theres no need for you to be recycled, then I threw him straight over my head into one of the garbage dumpsters. Then, the rest of the kids ran away in fear. I was glad I could help my community, and look good doing it. ~mjq jazz bar Around the corner from my weight training job they have a cafe where they make pretty good cheeseburgers. Usually I get mine with mushrooms and onions. Well today I went in there and there was this stoner bitch in there with enormous dreadlocks and a nose ring which is a violation of the safety code. I said 'Where is the regular chef' and she said 'I don't know' very rudely to me and that's when I noticed she had not sauteed up any onions for my burger. I said "you need to learn some customer service" and then she said some cuss words to me and told me maybe I should go to Burger King. But I like to support local businesses so I looked her straight in the eye and said "the customer is always right" and grabbed her by the dreads and slammed her face onto the skillet. She screamed and then the manager came running at me with a chopping knife so I looked him straight in the eye and said "chop this" and karate chopped his wrist and broke it immediately. I picked the girl up off of the floor and said "you are what you eat" and poured the boiling grease off of the fryer into her mouth. I was glad that I could set an example of what a good citizen should do in this situation, and everyone in the cafe applauded me. ~mjq jazz bar Me and my friend went to fill up my corvette last night and there were these two punks there sitting on the sidewalk of the gas station with their radio blasting. I was trying to think as I pumped gas but their radio made that hard to do. I was not pleased. So I went in and payed for the gas and then I went up to the two punks outside. I said excuse me but I think you need to turn your radio down. They told me to chill, they were just hanging out and having a few smokes. I then looked them in the eye and said " I'm afraid this is the no smoking section boys" and then I kicked their radio up against the side of the gas station. Then one of them stood up and took a swing at me, I ducked it and then gave him a round kick to the stomach. Then the other one took what was left of the radio and threw it at me, I blocked it with my left hand which caused it to go sailing back and knock him out. Then a middle aged man which looked to be in his 50's came up and asked what was going on. I wasn't sure if he was with me or against me so I assumed he was against me, I then gave him a swift front kick to the groin and hip tossed him on top of the other guys there. I then walked back to my car where my friend just stood there in awe, I asked him why he didn't help me and he said it looked like I had things under control. I slapped him and pushed him to the ground and told him to walk home. I then got in my corvette turned up the radio to full blast and much to my suprise welcome to the jungle was playing. I then sped off with that song playing full blast. I felt pretty good about standing up for my rights and I looked good doing it. ~mjq jazz bar It was a nice day today so I went for a walk out side. As I was walking, I heard somebody crying out in pain so I went to investigate, when I turned the corner I saw a kid that had fallen off his bike and he was grabbing his leg and crying. There was this guy already there and he told me that he was a doctor and he thought this kid had a broken leg. I could tell this guy was lying because he didn't have any white coat, I don't like liars so I pushed him out of the way. My training in medical school showed me that I had to get the kid's leg straight again, so I started pounding his knee to get the bone straight again. Thats when the guy that claimed to be a "doctor" called me a moron and pushed me out of the way. Well that did it. I got up, took my shades off, looked him straight in the eye and said " open wide doc" and then I gave him a swift kick to the mouth. I then grabbed him and said "time to make a house call " and then I threw him through a window of a near by house. The kid stopped crying then, I guess my pounding earlier worked. I told the kid not to thank me but I did need 20 dollars for my time. He only had 14 so I took his bike as well. I feel pretty good about fixing the kid's leg. ~mjw jazz bar So I was sitting in the back corner of eat ‘n park a restaurant in the northeastern region and I hear this group of punk kids terrorizing their waitress, and I stumble over there and ask the beautiful lady what the problem seems to be. The kids being the adept punks they are give her a glare that tells her not to talk or else therell be problems but I know better than this and I tell them that if they don’t apologize to this beautiful belle theyre going to have to answer to me. I pull my shades out of my back pocket, slip a comb through my wet hair, and tell them they have 10 seconds to apologize. The leader of the gang a chubby kid tells me to get loss and then throws the peg game on his table at my face. “I pegged you as the wise sort, and I don’t play games!” says I, and I grab a tonfa from the cop sitting at the table next to them and tell them today’s special, punks served sunny side up, with a side of hollandaise. I crack the tonfa over two punk heads, do a roundkick, and then hiptoss the runt of the crew into the pie fridge. “Creamed or Key Limed? ” I ask the cop as he slips me a fiver and gives me a back high five. He tells me Ive done a good job as a citizen, and I kiss the beautiful waitress on the cheek, run my comb through my hair once more and leave the restaurant on my harley. ~mjq jazz bar I was in town with one of my girlfriends today, and I decided to play one of those scratch off games again, I was very suprised when I won 1 million dollars on the spot, this was like the second time I won the lottery. I was about to claim my prize but then I thought to myself I'm already rich why not have some fun with this one? I told my girlfriend I was tired of her already so I left her at the gas station and went to find me some poor suckers. What better place than wal mart? I went up and down the asles until I found a bad dressed man and wife along with their kid. I went up to the guy and showed the guy the ticket, and told him since I didnt need the money I was going to give it to him and his family, when he started to tear up I tore up the ticket and threw the pieces on the ground. I then started to walk away but this spinless punk then took a swing at me when my back was turned. That did it. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said "feeling lucky". I then gave him a swift kick in the ribs and threw him into the pet section, I then caught a wal mart guy coming at me so I took a knife out of my jacket and threw it toward a chain holding up a sign, I then looked at the guy and said "watch out for falling prices" and then the sign fell on him and knocked him out. I left the store but not before I complained to the manager about the kind of people they let in there. ~mjq jazz bar So, I bought a couple of dvds off some web site a few weeks ago and I was pretty upset they haven't come in the mail already. So today I stuck around the house until the mailman came, he brought me a package but it wasn't the dvds I was waiting for. I asked him what the problem was and he told me that he had no control over when the company sends me the dvds. He said I should try to contact them. That did it. I couldn't belive this guy, I pay my taxes and this guy thinks he has the right to sass me in front of my euro mansion, in my freaking driveway? I lifted up my shades, took the cigar out of my mouth, looked him straight in the eye and said " I'm afraid this package is marked return to sender", and then I threw the package in the air and sidekicked the package right into the guys face causing teeth to go everywhere. I then saw one of my ederly neighbors walking toward me so I assumed he wanted trouble as well so I gave him a swift round kick to the ribs, I then looked at him and said "time to take out the garbage" and hip tossed him into the garbage can. I then picked up the crying mailman and threw him into the garbage can, after I had my "garbage collected", I picked up the garbage can and said "let the good times roll" and threw the garbage can down the hill. I didn't see those two guys again but I don't really care, I took the mailbag and threw it in my fireplace since it was a little chilly here today.
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Mar 28, 2011 20:09
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Thank you so much, it was that very last one exactly that I was remembering. I never thought I'd get to read it again!
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Mar 28, 2011 20:21
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Does anyone have the old FYAD thread about W&W?
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Mar 28, 2011 20:26
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There was a thread last year I think in GBS, don't remember the exact title but it was a photoshop thread about making movies less exciting, or something. The one image I'm really looking for is the Inception one, where DiCaprio hands Cillian Murphy his passport, and there's a post-it note inside saying "Dissolve your father's empire". If anyone can find the thread for me, I will love you forever.
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Mar 28, 2011 21:44
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QueenOfMistakes posted:There was a thread last year I think in GBS, don't remember the exact title but it was a photoshop thread about making movies less exciting, or something. The one image I'm really looking for is the Inception one, where DiCaprio hands Cillian Murphy his passport, and there's a post-it note inside saying "Dissolve your father's empire". If anyone can find the thread for me, I will love you forever. I remember that thread! It was called "Sorry Hollywood, my version was better". I don't have archives so I can't get it for you, but I'm sure I helped you a bit. Edit: Actually, it's right here! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3367194. At least I think that this is the right one. Thunderfinger has a new favorite as of 04:53 on Mar 29, 2011 |
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Mar 29, 2011 04:50
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The Inception image actually originated in the Budget Blockbusters thread. If you don't have archives, it eventually showed up in this Photoshop Phriday, it's the first image.
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Mar 29, 2011 05:42
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I love you guys, thanks!
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Mar 29, 2011 12:33
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Sorry if this is one of those things that's been asked a million times, but does anyone know what happened to the original "Master of your Domain" masturbation contest from a couple years back? If I recall correctly, it was in GBS and it was incredibly entertaining to read. All I can find now is the sequel thread in the gas chamber. I do have archives but I don't know where (or rather, when) to start looking.
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Mar 29, 2011 14:08
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edit: nevermind.
Thunderfinger has a new favorite as of 14:43 on Mar 29, 2011 |
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Mar 29, 2011 14:37
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I don't suppose anyone saved Bushman's pictures from this thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2911606 I'd be most appreciative to receive the "Oink" picture if you have it.
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Mar 30, 2011 16:45
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A few years ago, some psychic put up a thing on his website where anyone could draw a picture, and he had already predicted the most-drawn thing and sealed it away or something--I forget all the details, but everyone went and drew Dickbutt. I'd like to see at least as much of the thread as remains, and the eventual outcome of the trick.
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Mar 30, 2011 19:44
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King of the Cows posted:I don't suppose anyone saved Bushman's pictures from this thread: No pictures, but I have the Youtube flv when he stabs three rice-eating-bastard pigs at night.
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Mar 30, 2011 20:27
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M. Propagandalf posted:No pictures, but I have the Youtube flv when he stabs three rice-eating-bastard pigs at night. Thanks, but I've already got that.
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Mar 30, 2011 21:42
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I'm looking for a specific .gif from a photoshop thread a few years back - the thread was themed along the lines of "Something's missing". The image in question was a motorcyclist going around a curve and slowly losing control before crashing, except that the motorcycle had been edited out, so it just looked like a flying retard tapdancing in midair. I remember it was the highlight of that whole thread, and I spent way too much time laughing at it than I should have. But for some reason I didn't save the image!
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Mar 30, 2011 22:28
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I've been reading through this thread forever, so it's possible I missed this during one of my intermissions. Someone in the Internet Necromancy thread posted an inquiry about the famous Creepy Goon Crashing A Wine Party pic. You know the pic -- a portly goon-type in a girl's dorm room, grinning stupidly at her while she looks off into space. A plate of cheese is on the floor and she's holding a wine glass. Evidently he wasn't invited, so he brought along his own plastic cup. The pain and awkwardness in the picture is staggering. Nobody responded to it over there, and I seem to recall it originating in GBS or EN -- but I could be wrong. So my question is -- is there a thread in which this picture originated? I must know the backstory! Thanks.
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Mar 31, 2011 19:13
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IHatePugs posted:Can anyone find the remixed version of http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/DG/runnin_with%20the_devil.mp3 from BYOB a while back? I think it was called "running with the chariots." http://www.tindeck.com/audio/image/b/ebij Here's my personal favorite mix from that thread: http://tindeck.com/listen/fyky And here's the thread itself: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2754796&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
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Mar 31, 2011 23:51
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Does anybody remember a thread a guy posted maybe 4 or 5 years ago with a link to a special ed class website? The class went to a music studio for a field trip and recorded a hilarious song. I'm sure it's a longshot but if anyone has that mp3 I'll be so goddamned grateful
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Apr 1, 2011 02:52
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Does anyone have a link to that Star Trek thread that started in LF and eventually got moved to BYOB once it reached like 400+ pages? I valued the erudite observations on the politics of the Alpha/Gamma quadrant.
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Apr 1, 2011 16:03
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SwivelTits2000 posted:I've been reading through this thread forever, so it's possible I missed this during one of my intermissions. I'd love to know the backstory here as well, someone in the awkward.jpg thread said the photo is from a goon meet but didn't know anything else. That picture pops up from time to time and it makes me loving recoil from horror every single time, the whole thing just oozes crippling awkwardness 
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Apr 1, 2011 16:12
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I seem to remember a really really old flashtub where Safe Seth or some other generic cutesy character got an SA forums account, started posting random poo poo threads, and was then banned in a graphically violent fashion. I've tried searching but to no avail.
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Apr 3, 2011 03:00
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I was reading the "Explain your avatar" thread on the weekend and someone mentioned that they got their avatar from a thread called "Photoshop your parents and post their reactions" or something along those lines. I tried looking for "Parents" in the search engine, but the thread didn't come up. Does anyone have the link to the thread or the real name of it so I can search for it?
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Apr 4, 2011 01:10
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Does anyone have that thread from a long time ago about ways to save time? Which ended up being horrible ways to save negligible amounts of time. Like pressing 33 on the microwave instead of 30?
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Apr 4, 2011 02:19
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I had a hunt through this thread and my googling has failed. I'm looking for an old TG game that went hilariously bad, involving the party members ignoring hooks (like a corpse floating in a river) and then accidentally shooting a girl with an arrow and setting a small town alight. Any takers?
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Apr 4, 2011 03:53
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What was that goldmined thread about the pool in the basement?
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Apr 4, 2011 22:19
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Edit: Double Post
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Apr 4, 2011 22:27
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ElitistCactus posted:What was that goldmined thread about the pool in the basement? It wasn't goldmined and was actually recently updated by the OP!
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Apr 4, 2011 22:37
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Oh cool thanks! It was so funny I thought it had to be goldmined.
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Apr 5, 2011 02:29
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There was a thread about a year and a half ago called something like "share your life tricks" that turned into several pages of ways to cut out middlemen. Any idea what happened to it?
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Apr 5, 2011 03:22
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Looking for three old SA threads in the archives now. The first one was about Bob Altemeyer's - The Authoritarians. I think it might have gotten goldmined at some point but I'm not sure. I also remember the first reply in the thread being something like "So conservatives are sociopaths. What a shocker." The second thread was about a world domination game that some teacher played with several groups of his students that also referenced the RWA scale. It had a thread title that was something about Republicans nuking the planet or something. I'm pretty sure it was in GBS. The third one was about amateur bioengineers creating synthetic organisms in their basements using equipment they bought off ebay. I'm pretty sure it was in D&D.
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Apr 7, 2011 11:32
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I'm looking for a thread that at least used to be in GBS that was "come video chat with us" or something like that. Anyone know where to find it or have a link?
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Apr 8, 2011 21:05
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Cookie Kwan posted:I was reading the "Explain your avatar" thread on the weekend and someone mentioned that they got their avatar from a thread called "Photoshop your parents and post their reactions" or something along those lines. I tried looking for "Parents" in the search engine, but the thread didn't come up. Does anyone have the link to the thread or the real name of it so I can search for it? anyone?
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Apr 8, 2011 21:33
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I'm looking for the microwave-chocolate-cake-in-a-mug thread. It wasn't THAT long ago and I remember loving rolling.
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Apr 8, 2011 22:11
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http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2903255 sadly suffering from waffleimages image loss
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Apr 8, 2011 22:22
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Droid Washington posted:I'm looking for a thread that at least used to be in GBS that was "come video chat with us" or something like that. Anyone know where to find it or have a link? This? http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3310837
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Apr 8, 2011 22:45
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Polsy posted:http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2903255 I'll take it either way, thanks! e. Yeah, even without pictures, you still have gems like this quote:I've made a terrible mistake. I mixed the ingredients exactly as ordered, and put it in the microwave. Over the course of five minutes the scents that came from my microwave were: Cooking chicken, old motor oil, cocoa, and burned coffee. StealthStealth has a new favorite as of 23:07 on Apr 8, 2011 |
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Apr 8, 2011 23:04
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Not even sure that the forums go back that far, but does anyone have links to the geno invasion of Habbo Hotel?
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Apr 9, 2011 04:09
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