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ukulele bastard
Dec 5, 2006

Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, pussy, cock, butthole, Barbara Streisand!

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Larry Koldsweat!
Dec 7, 2008

by Fistgrrl
i was messing around on google streetview when i noticed this:

Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe

Khisareth posted:

I read this thread before sleeping and dreampt about the Slender Man. Pretty creepy!

Jeez. Slender Man's been entirely made up by this thread, but he's already having an effect.

he steals your sleep

Leyendecker
Oct 31, 2008

:sun:
The Oklahoman
August 21st, 1987

New Discovery In Disappearance of Boy

Tusla, OK-- A new piece of evidence has turned up in the investigation of the boy that disappeared from an elementary school in Tusla. The boy's father, it was discovered, was filming his son's first day of school, and the home video footage was released to local authorities. He took his own life shortly after the boy's disappearance. No word yet on any suspects, though police are drawing similarities to the 1963 slayings in Lake Texoma. The voice on the tape has yet to be confirmed and though the film's video is largely destroyed, the audio remained in tact.

Leyendecker fucked around with this message at 20:51 on Jun 15, 2009

MonkeyMaker
May 22, 2006

What's your poison, sir?

Leyendecker posted:

Texoma Lake

I was going to message/email you but you have that all turned off. It's Lake Texoma, not Texoma Lake :)

Bimston
Dec 17, 2003

I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

PLATE 17
Mississipian mound near Crab Orchard Lake in Illinois. This variety of mound is generally attributed to the Mississippian culture between 900 and 1450 CE, after which the culture seems to have largely dispersed or collapsed. Photographs of these earthwork monuments routinely develop unusual dark artifacts not visible at the time the photo was taken. In this picture, the artifacts areas appear to be slender, vaguely humanoid shapes (see inset detail). Note the scale in inset A: the railing in front of the "figure" is approximately three feet high, so the figure would be in the range of 8-9 feet tall. According to local legend, these are the ynirono or "tomb guardians".

Excerpted from: Richard Hauser's Cults of the New World (2003), p. 203

It is generally assumed that the drastic decline in the pre-Columbian civilizations of North America was due to epidemics introduced via contact with European explorers. However, recent archaeological data indicates that this decline began as early as 1350 and that the arrival of Europeans only served to weaken an greatly reduced population. The causes for decline in the prospering Mississippian and Oneota civilizations, therefore, remain a great mystery.

The key to this mystery may lie in recent excavations such as the 2000 excavation of the mound at Shiloh by the Southeast Archaeological Center. The unfortunate flash flood on March 23 left little physical evidence, but dig directors David G. Anderson and John Cornelison Jr. took extensive photographs and notes. In a May, 2001 interview, Dr. Anderson related:

"The presence of the steep river bank at the mound site meant we could go in horizontally and take samples of [far beneath] the mound, up to 50 feet below ground level. That's by far the deepest anybody ever dug, and we didn't expect to find anything there since the funerary artifacts are generally five to eight feet below ground level. The lowest strata were pretty iron-rich - which is unusual to the area - and I can still remember when Barb [Dr. Barbara Tully] found the bones. Fifty feet, straight down through the earth, there were human bones, thousands of them. All of the iron we were finding - that was from blood."

This is the first evidence of such mass graves in the area. In a time of increasing political turmoil and tribal warfare, it is uncertain if these were the battle dead or sacrificial prisoners - the presence of blood remains certainly indicates the latter. Another possibility forwarded by LeRousse et al. is the spread of a hemorrhagic illness similar to the Marburg and Ebola strains, which would also explain the precipitous population decline.

Plates 17-19 illustrate artifacts typically displayed on photographs of earthworks such as the ones at Shiloh and Crab Orchard Lake (i.e. those constructed circa 1350). The detail insets show the artifacts to be slender figures much taller than a human with multiple long, curving limbs. It is uncertain what these figures might represent, but it is generally agreed that they were not present at the time the photo was taken. It is these artifacts that may have lead to the recurring "Slender Man" scares in the midwest in the mid-20th century. And, as loath as we are to admit it, there may be some truth to these scares: de Soto's initial inroads into the North American continent brought him in contact with remnant Mound Builder tribes that told him the mounds were tombs for the mikota "Great Ones", not mico "nobles" as is commonly assumed.

Bimston fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Jun 15, 2009

pixelbaron
Mar 18, 2009

~ Notice me, Shempai! ~
Couldn't help it:

Puppy Time
Mar 1, 2005


TrenchMaul
Mar 9, 2009

treepunk as hell
Dec 29, 2008

I know you guys said no more text, but I just have to share this with you. I went looking through some of my dads old books (He wrote journal entries and cooking recipes in the same book for easier accessibility), and I found something that sort of scares me. Its written in sort of a simple scratch lettering, like if it was written in the dark, which is kind of odd, since he normally writes very nicely. The notes in parenthesis are mine.
Oct 27, 1991 (Two months or so before I was born)
"I've been having these dreams again. They always start on nights when the trees hit the windows. I keep dreaming about my son. He is going to be born in a few months, the doctor says. But whenever I have these dreams, I hear this ominous sound like the air is just being pushed by some invisible subwoofer, and is rushing past my head in a pulse. Then I saw a man. I think it was my boy all grown up (It's not me, goddammit). He is tall and skinny, I can't see his face, but his eyes are dark spheres, and he has a weird gait as he moves toward me. His hair flows past his shoulders, and it looks like hes walking on that. I hear something being repeated over and over:
When you fear me, I love you, when you cower, I draw near to protect you, I will always protect you, I will always watch you. Your blindness is my omniscience, your weakness, my omnipotence. Until the day you die. Until the day you die.
I don't hear the words, but they always stick in my head. I'm going to watch over my son. Until the day I die, until the day he dies."

There are more, but I don't want to flood the thread. If anyone actually cares to read another, i'll post it.

Mogadishu
Apr 30, 2009

Puppy Time
Mar 1, 2005




Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

GyverMac
Aug 3, 2006
My posting is like I Love Lucy without the funny bits. Basically, WAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Der Ritter:


quote:

A german woodcut from the 1540s. It has puzzled historians since it was discovered at Halstberg castle in 1883. The woodcut bears the distinct style of a known woodcut artist from that area, Hans Freckenberg. Although know for his realistic depiction of human anotomy in his works, something that was unusual for the woodcuts in the 16th century, this picture differs radically from the rest of Freckenbergs works. The character to the right bears little semblance to a human being, with skeletal physique and long limbs at odd angles. Many theories have been dicussed as to what Freckenberg wanted to symbolize with that character, some say its a personification of the religious wars that raged in Europe at the time, others say its a personification of the mysterious plague that have been believed to be the reason for the mysterious abandoning of the Halstberg castle and the nearby village in 1543.

GyverMac fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Jun 15, 2009

TrenchMaul
Mar 9, 2009
Holy poo poo, did you do that? That's amazing.

I
Aug 4, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post
This may or may not be related to the Slender Man mythos;
Robert Wadlow, the tallest human being of all time was 8'11" when he died. The cause of death was listed as an infection from a blister on his ankle caused by a faulty brace, but his death certificate described the wound as 'a puncture or bite mark of unknown origin'.
He was buried in a half-ton coffin that required 12 pallbearers to carry, which was interred within a vault of solid concrete. It was believed that Wadlow's family were concerned for the sanctity of his body after his death, and went to these lengths of security to ensure it would never be disturbed or stolen.
It was rumoured that these extreme burial measures were really undertaken so that no one could see the mysterious changes that started to occur to Wadlow's body after his demise; the inexplicable lengthening and splitting of the arms, the bizarre contortion of the facial features.
Perhaps the half-ton coffin and concrete vault were not to preserve the sactity of the body, but to keep something from escaping.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Wadlow#Death

homerlaw
Sep 21, 2008

Plants are the best ergo Sylvari=Best
You guys are missing the first appearence of the tall man.
A friend of mine was talking to me about some of the weird poo poo he was seeing in caves, and he brought up a strange painting he saw.

quote:


"It was of a slender man, in what appeared to be a black suite. It lacked a face, and around it were what appeared to be children."
This was dated back to about 5,000 B.C. and even though he couldn't say were it was he hinted it was near a major hub, and some other caves near by it. he also said he heard some weird scratching sounds, but that would be BS, 'cause it appears that he was the fisrt human there for over 7,000 years, and nothing could live that long. Right?
Right?




Right?

Dark Gray Fox
Sep 27, 2005

Divine Ninja

Victor Surge
Feb 2, 2006

If Thomson hadn't disabled the louts' aeroplanes with well tossed wrenches, I dare say those uncouth vandals would have made off with your victuals and garments.
All of this stuff is amazing, keep it up.

Fussygoddess
Apr 8, 2005
Why do they all come to me to die?
Amazing work all around! Only problem is my house alarm system is on the blink and the motion sensor lights keep going off in rooms where there is no motion. I was only mildly annoyed by this until the Slender Man mythos came to be. Now ... I kinda want my mommy.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009

In Scotland there is the legend of the Fear Dubh (The Black Man). This creature is said to haunt solitary footpaths at night, generally those that pass through woodland. It is reputed to be entirely malevolent. I can remember my granny telling me stories about a lot of Scottish folk tales, she only ever mentioned the Fear Dubh once, and that was in church. I was about eight, and was spending the summer holidays with her.

She took me to church one Tuesday morning, and told me to wait by the font while she spoke to Father MacAndrews. And all she said was the name, and then "He's been at the bairns' window again". The priest just nodded, and said he'd be round later.

I was a curious child, so I took a walk around the house later. It was built on the edge of woodland, so close that the branches of an ash tree almost touched the window. Ivy grew up the side of the house, but it was dying back in long thin patches, the leaves wrinked and sort of wet-looking.

My grany made me say my prayers that night, and put her rosary beads under my pillow. And I fell asleep to the sound of wet leaves brushing against my window. And I dreamed of a thin man who looked at me, even though he had no eyes, and tried to touch me, even though he had no hands.

I can't actually remember much of the next few days. My mum says it was the trauma of my grans' funeral that's made those days so blurry, but I don't understand why, because I coped okay with other funerals round about that age. And I don't understand how Father MacAndrews died of a heart attack the same night (he was only thirty, and fit as a butchers' dog).

And if Gran died of a stroke, I don't understand why the police sealed off the house and woodland. It wasn't the local police either; they were all big serious men in dark blue with riot gear on. You'd have thought that their presence would have meant that local vandals would have stayed away, but they didn't, and poor Grans' house got firebombed a few weeks later. The walls are still standing though. You can see the long thin streaks that the smoke's made on the white walls. Looks almost like an octopus' tentacles, reaching for you.

I've still got the rosary, and even though people laugh, I sleep with it under my pillow. Because if I don't, I dream. About the sound of wet leaves sliding softly across a window, and the way he is still watching me, even though he has no eyes.

TrenchMaul
Mar 9, 2009

Dark Gray Fox posted:



In my opinion - this is the best so far.

Doedipus
Nov 21, 2006

Doeder than Doed.
^^^^
Ditto. This has been my favorite thread as of late.

LeechCode5
Dec 19, 2004

Burn, Galactica! You're finished, Adama!
I'm suddenly imagining a Slender Man "documentary," done in a style similar to The Last Broadcast or that old Alien Abduction tv special. Interviews with witnesses of various encounters through the years, investigation into the different events brought up in this thread, and specialists analyzing photographs, intercut around home video footage taken by a missing family, showing them being picked off by the Slender Man. As we get further into the film, we also start to see behind the scenes footage of the making of the documentary, with crew members not showing for work and not answering calls, various production problems... then finally ending with a note that the director disappeared immediately after completion of the film.

21stCentury
Jan 4, 2009

by angerbot

TrenchMaul posted:

In my opinion - this is the best so far.

I dunno, i don't like it, it seems way too obvious... the Slender man just doesn't blend well enough in the background, he's too obvious.

He doesn't like being seen, you shouldn't see him like that.

21stCentury
Jan 4, 2009

by angerbot

LeechCode5 posted:

I'm suddenly imagining a Slender Man "documentary," done in a style similar to The Last Broadcast or that old Alien Abduction tv special. Interviews with witnesses of various encounters through the years, investigation into the different events brought up in this thread, and specialists analyzing photographs, intercut around home video footage taken by a missing family, showing them being picked off by the Slender Man. As we get further into the film, we also start to see behind the scenes footage of the making of the documentary, with crew members not showing for work and not answering calls, various production problems... then finally ending with a note that the director disappeared immediately after completion of the film.

Or, rather, the documentary ending on a less-than-satisfying note because the director disappeared.

EDIT: By the way, it "The Rake" real? Are there sites and junk about it? I never heard of it and searching "The Rake" doesn't really get me any paranormal-related hits.

EDIT to the Edit: real as in, do people believe in it or is this like the slender man, completely fictional?

21stCentury fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Jun 16, 2009

Mr. 47
Jul 8, 2008

Well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself, then.

21stCentury posted:

I dunno, i don't like it, it seems way too obvious... the Slender man just doesn't blend well enough in the background, he's too obvious.

He doesn't like being seen, you shouldn't see him like that.

Gotta be honest, I was looking all over the place before I saw him. I think the old-style washed-out look made him difficult for me to spot.

scoogliboosh
Sep 10, 2007

Mr. 47 posted:

Gotta be honest, I was looking all over the place before I saw him. I think the old-style washed-out look made him difficult for me to spot.

Yeah I didn't see him at first either. In fact, I was focussing on the tree for ages before I noticed him in the background.

MooseyFate
May 20, 2007

Yes, that's right
Nothing to see here

MooseyFate fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Jun 16, 2009

Stexils
Jun 5, 2008

Mr. 47 posted:

Gotta be honest, I was looking all over the place before I saw him. I think the old-style washed-out look made him difficult for me to spot.

Really? I spotted him instantly. I guess I was just looking at that spot first.

Thriftwood
Dec 13, 2005

Degenerate Star
Oct 27, 2005
unlikely

GyverMac posted:

Der Ritter:


This is outstanding. Danse macabre art is creepy anyway, and the stylized figures here really work for the Slender Man -- there's a great :aaa: moment when you sort out what's wrong here.

Stexils
Jun 5, 2008

MAY 8, 1993:
Three campers were announced missing today. They had gone on a week long trip into the nearby woods. Their campsite was quickly located, but all that was left were "blood and little strips of flesh[...] all over the ground," according to the leader of the rescue team, Chad Lewis. The official speculation is that the campers were attacked one or more grizzly bears, which then dragged the bodies elsewhere, though the team admits there "weren't any grizzly tracks we could see... just footprints, and we didn't see any dragging marks on the ground. The weird thing is, there are four sets of bootprints, but[...] didn't find any extra boots in the camp." When asked whether this could be the work of a serial killer, Mr. Lewis refused to answer, saying "we don't want to jump to conclusions." A camera was found at the scene, and the police are attempting to develop the pictures despite damage to film.


MAY 22, 1993
Chad Lewis' team has located the remains of the bodies of three campers who went missing two weeks ago. They had been "impaled in the uppermost branches of a tree, over 200 feet above the ground. “A grizzly couldn't have done that, and there aren't any black bears here. This definitely wasn't an animal, the bodies were[...] limbs torn off, and most of the internal organs had been removed. We found [the organs] at the foot of the tree[...] eight miles from their campsite. It appears that this was a deliberate murder, though[...] extremely odd circumstances. When questioned about details, Lewis shook his head, saying "We can't specify yet. The police are working on it. In the meantime we're issuing a warning people should avoid activities in the woods until further notice."

MAY 28, 1993
The local police chief has released baffling details of the murders of three campers in a press conference today. “We determined that the men's deaths occurred after they were impaled on the upper tree branches, leading us to believe there were multiple killers, as it would be nearly impossible for one man to have lifted three adult men, all over 150 pounds, to the top branches of the tree. However, there were no marks of abrasion on the arms or legs we recovered that would indicate they had been restrained beforehand. We believe they were drugged, and then transported to the tree.” When questioned as to how the killers had transported the victims, and why they had chosen that particular location to kill them, the police chief said “There would have had to be multiple vehicles, as there was thick forests and a river between the camp and the tree. This tree could possibly have some kind of religious significance to the killers, as there were deep gouges all over the trunk[…] like claw marks, which at one point form an image of an elongated figure of a man” The police report states that the killings were possibly the work of cult. They have managed to recover a single photograph from the camera recovered at the scene. Anyone with information is encouraged to come forward[…]

Below: photograph from campsite, carving on tree


Kitten Cakes
Aug 26, 2008

Delicious and nutritious.

Blobone posted:

Campers

This plus the story is pretty awesome.

I
Aug 4, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post

21stCentury posted:

do people believe in it or is this like the slender man, completely fictional?
What makes you think The Slender Man is a fictional story?

Dude Steel
Aug 23, 2008
It took me a while but I tracked down the photos that go along with this story.

I first heard the story in 1983 while living in Arkansas.

It's about a young hunter making his first kill on opening day and vanishing while the entire family looked on.

The Elliot family owned a 200 acre tract just west of a small town named Bee Branch. Over the years they hunted and harvested all forms of furry critters on the farm.
Two State record bucks have been brought down by the bowhunters in the Elliot clan.

Family tradition requires that upon the day of their first kill, which is the turning point into manhood, they must have their picture taken with their quarry in front of "The Big Tree". This was a very big deal in the family because that meant your photo gets added to the wall of fame.

This is where young Eldon Elliot joins the story.

Eldon had watched, listened, and learned well from his Father the ins and out of reading the game trails. Eldon had spent many hours in the woods with his head full of dreams of this year being his year to have his picture put on the wall and if the size of the footprints were any indication he just might be putting the mounted head of another State record on the wall as well.

Opening day of deer season found Eldon waiting for sunup sitting in a tree stand, waiting for that big buck to show up.

His work and perseverance paid off at exactly 8:33 AM that day. Eldon held his breath as the biggest buck he had ever seen in his 14 years walked out of the woods into his line of sight. He ever so slowly drew back his bow, adjusted his aim for the distance to his target, and began to relax his grip on the bow string to let the arrow fly. That very second a twig snapped and the monster buck dropped flat to the ground and vanished as they often seem to do. The arrow took flight on what would have been a perfect clean kill shot and came to rest in the shoulder of a young spike buck that was standing behind the big guy.

Eldon watched in disbelief as his dreams went up in smoke.

Well not all of his dreams. His picture was going on the wall because the spike buck dropped about 20 yards from where it was shot.

One twig snap changed his fate from a 250 pound monster buck to a yearling not much bigger than a german sheppard. Shear utter disappointment and embarasment was what Eldon felt the moment that little tiny buck dropped. All the walking, watching, planning, and bragging went out the window with that shot. The bragging...... how would he ever live down all of the bragging he had done.

Eldon's Father was still proud that his son had made a kill and the family loaded up the trucks to head over to the big tree for the official photo session.

The following photos were the three shot burst that his Uncle Bubba Ray took the moment they heard the shriek and Eldon vanished before their eyes........

Eldon by the big tree (I cropped out the dead deer for the squimish readers)

Click here for the full 999x677 image.




The Slender Man?

Click here for the full 999x677 image.



Eldon's gone!!!!!

Click here for the full 999x677 image.

JossiRossi
Jul 28, 2008

A little EQ, a touch of reverb, slap on some compression and there. That'll get your dickbutt jiggling.
I'm the only one awake in my apartment and even though I have written stuff for this, the Slender Man is freaking me out. The hell is wrong with me.

Pumpkin Spoon
Jan 12, 2007
This whole "Slender Man" thing has me rather uncomfortably spooked, I have to admit. I predict nightmares tonight.

The only flaw is the conflicting images we get occasionally, I don't know that the more spider-like images work for him, same for when he's out in the open. I was thinking of him seeming fairly human at a glance, with the tentacles and facelessness not apparent until you really look. Although the inhuman height and sort of "stretched" look are pretty consistent. Love it!

Mattslox
Jan 11, 2004

LIVE IN TREATMENT OK?

JossiRossi posted:

I'm the only one awake in my apartment and even though I have written stuff for this, the Slender Man is freaking me out. The hell is wrong with me.

He's coming for you.

It's amazing how this thread took a turn from amusing photoshops to creepy as poo poo Slender Man mythos.

The ones where the tentacles/insect appendages aren't immediately obvious are the best, although the woodcut of Der Ritter was also really good.

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Kitten Cakes
Aug 26, 2008

Delicious and nutritious.
I thought the Slender Man pictures didn't bother me until I stepped out on to my back porch to smoke. I have dark woods behind my apartment with lots of rambunctious deer... so yeah. Creepy stuff.