|
As a hardcore Achewood connoisseur since old times and a quasi lurker who considers you guys a cadre of internet bros, the TV show absolutely shouldn't happen. I felt a pit of disgust when one of the guys pretended to be pregnant in the trailer and it turned out to be a gift for Philippe. In the comics it would have been a mediocre joke, exactly deserving of the two seconds of eye flicking it would take to travel between panels. Curing Ray of heights was funny, conceding to Bush's presidency for Mickey Mouse was funny and both of those demanded about 10 seconds of my time. In that trailer it took me just as much time to 100% realize Philippe was getting a present while I sat there and watched the droll theatrics painfully transpire. It was a humorless burden. An Achewood TV series would end just as poorly as Dilbert, but perhaps even faster. The show would be propped up by a temporary scaffolding of fans until they abandon the show steadily in tiers, from tepid readers to the relentless fanatics. This thread itself contains those much closer to the latter, and even we weren't enchanted by the show. I'm not going to be surprised if potential investors picked up on that and figured penny stocks were a better option. I am sorry, my brothers.
|
#
¿
Jun 13, 2013 06:08
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 08:24 |
|
|
Penguissimo posted:Perhaps you worded this awkwardly, so forgive me if this isn't a surprise, but you do realize the "Beef gives birth to a board game" gag I did not! Even as a big fan it's difficult to have encyclopedic knowledge of a strip that spans such a wide stretch of time. Either way my opinion stands that this would turn into Dilbert 2.0 and I've never wanted to be more wrong.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 14, 2013 02:08
|
|
|
The Time Dissolver posted:The Philippe's present one is really a clunker, isn't it. There's that time wasted in transition when Philippe and Ray are running to see Beef and then the "so wacky" line I think genuinely only works in print. Yeah I was in sort of a strange mood when I wrote that. I'll just go ahead and take my licks on this one. Shmoses posted:I think my favourite part of that post was that he completely missed that the skit he was specifically saying was nothing like how one of the comics would run was actually lifted verbatim from one of the strips. Naw my point was more that the punch line was extremely telegraphed, which can sort of work in the comic strip because a reader can jump ahead at their own speed, but in the skit it just became a chore to sit through. But really one thing I like about this thread is that my inability to recall every last strip from 2002-present can be a point of ridicule. Ain't nobody finding that sort of environment outside anywhere.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 16, 2013 16:36
|
|
|
Deathlove posted:I have had only successes from the achewood store, though I heard there was a batch of pint glasses that was lovely once maybe? One time on a lark about... six years ago... I bought the "cards for men" in the achewood store and doled them out to people. Within this particular bubble of fans it might seem funny, but all I remember now is my fiancee's dad reading "aaaaa moths" and looking more nonplussed than I've ever seen him since. That's my story god bless.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 19, 2016 15:02
|
|
|
"Marrying her is like burning down your house to meet the neighbors"
|
|
#
¿
Jan 22, 2016 02:00
|
|
|
garfield hentai posted:Has anyone ever uploaded the subscriber only content anywhere? Not trying to rip anyone off and get stuff for free but I remember reading that the service that offered the archive is now defunct. I've wondered this too. I paid for the access back when Achewood was a real website (sigh, 10 years ago?) and I'm plagued by distant memories of good, amazing content that I've never seen anywhere since. The only strips that I can remember hard details about were a series of canned questions in survey format, that the characters each filled out in different ink and handwriting. One question was like "have you ever given oral sex to a man?" Ray: "Ray Smuckles does not guzzle semen, pass it on" Lyle: "Yes, while asleep. (god drat it, Todd)"
|
|
#
¿
Feb 5, 2018 23:19
|
|
|
I use the word "reticent" continually in formal settings. One day someone's going to call me out that it came from the GOF arc. I also employed "Samuel H. Invisible" once.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 27, 2019 15:49
|
|
|
garfield hentai posted:I know I've asked this a while ago before (basically every time I do another full readthrough and get to the big hot tranny mess strip where the alt text mentions that subscribers voted to make canon relevant strips public), but has anyone been able to find any uploads of the subscriber only content? The closest I've found is a Reddit thread offering up just the "Teodor eats everything at Taco Bell" strip which wasn't even a subscriber exclusive and Ray rollerskating I DIG BONERS into the carpet. I have the same problem. Way back in the day I subscribed and dutifully read all of the exclusive content, and now it exists only in my fading memory. I would LOVE to see a few of those strips again. I could swear there are still a king's ransom of strips unseen by fans that think they've read all the comics. There was one artifact of a survey where a few of the characters kept finding it and filling it out with different handwriting. I remember vividly: (Ray) "Have you ever given oral sex to a man" - Ray Smuckles does not guzzle semen, pass it on (Lyle) - Yes, while asleep. (God drat it Todd)
|
|
#
¿
Sep 12, 2019 17:09
|
|
|
Mr. Dick posted:For Mr. Dick it's the one where Showbiz traded his Commodore PET for Beef's bicycle because it was a "learning computer". It's completely astounding to me that there wasn't a single person (in anyone's awareness) that saw fit to archive all of those. I could swear there was a TON of content in the subscriber section, but hell if I can list much of it from memory. If I could go back in time 12 years or so to give myself a message, and the only two options were "save Achewood premium locally" or "buy bitcoin" I'd have to really mull it over.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 12, 2019 23:52
|
|
|
The Venn diagram of nerds that paid for Achewood and nerds that archive content has a little overlap in the middle that just says "CALL BOB GIACOMINELLO WITH RE/MAX TODAY"
|
|
#
¿
Sep 13, 2019 14:18
|
|
|
I know this thread is basically just a support group at this point, so I had a memory today I want to air. One time back in college I was hosting a party (maybe 13 years ago? christ) and a guy showed up wearing a shirt of the rabbit ambulance. I told him that ambulance was probably employing the principles of hopping, and we both had a good laugh. I'm a little sad in my confidence that I will never, ever experience a moment like that a second time.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 16, 2019 04:33
|
|
|
Does anyone happen to remember a written piece done in the character of Nice Pete where he attacks a park ranger? The ranger is bothering a tamale vendor- Pete identifies that he isn't a cop because cops don't address specific parts of your question. Then he goes on to explain the perfect head-butt to the reader and reports that he stuffed one tamale down the guy's throat and another in his pants. I've scoured the blogs and the honor club and can't find a hint of it. Wherever this one is hiding, I still think some Achewood content is permanently lost to time. There are a few things lurking in my memory that I've never seen again. Back in like '06-'07 I paid for subscriber content and there was a questionnaire filled out by a few characters in sequence. One question was "have you ever tasted semen"- Ray: "Ray Smuckles does not blow men, pass it along". Lyle: "Yes, once. Goddamn TODD". I feel like I'm trying to describe the Loch Ness monster to people because I don't have a hint of proof it existed other than that it was too funny for my brain to have conjured in a hallucination.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 22, 2023 14:32
|
|
|
The Voice of Labor posted:still haven't seen the subscribers strip where beef is rmembering when showbiz got a computer and traded it to beef for his bicycle because it was a learning computer It's so frustrating because it has to be out there somewhere. I'm the last person to pony up for a cookbook but I'd pay actual, quantifiable money if Chris Onstad advertised a collection of the old subscriber content that's no longer reachable. I wish I could bump into him in the street and be like "I paid extra when I was broke. I have money now, this is creativity of yours I know you already developed. Just fork it over for the love of God." e: owned by nanoseconds. Someone please deliver the piece of Nice Pete knocking a park ranger unconscious.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 22, 2023 20:54
|
|
|
Rev. Bleech_ posted:Now that I think of it the host of the party was pretty much an IRL Ray with the infinite money cheat turned off and the stupidity cranked up a notch. I always marveled at how much the characters represented archetypes of people in my friend circle. I've slowly grown up to be a Ray and my best friend even more. (but as you referenced, infinite money turned off). I know a Todd, and life feels incomplete if you don't have one for entertainment. I absolutely know a Cornelius in my friend's brilliant, aging dad. Another friend of mine is Roast Beef with more of the intellect and less of the depression. Part of me would enjoy rounding out the cast. I don't know a Lyle (but would enjoy to do so in correct doses). I don't know a Pat, likely because I avoid those personality types like the plague. I don't need a Nice Pete, of course but I'd totally welcome a Rod Huggins to the fold. Anyway, I'm glad this thread exists to vent some weirdness.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 23, 2023 05:53
|
|
|
Dunny posted:Can't find the Nice Pete bit (if you do, please pass it on - I'm gonna get around to updating the books and would love to include it) but here's lyle's personality test. Oh my GOD YOU SWEET, SEXY BEAUTIFUL MAN. I never thought I would see this again. There is absolutely a Ray version somewhere out there. I'm still hoping into the yawning void that someone finds that Nice Pete piece. It was awesome and I am more than happy to provide more details if asked. The ranger explains that an unregulated tamale could have dog in it and Pete is internally annoyed because he knows dog is an awful tasting, desperation meat. When he crams the second tamale between the guy's cheeks he says something like "Oh, would he not miss the meaning of that when he wakes up". Eventually he goes hiking and some of the interactions turn into actual murders but the memories are too far deep in my addled brain. Happy Hippo posted:Didn't Onstad self publish two small books by Nice Pete? One of them was called A Hilarious Comedy and I forget the other one but it was similarly named. Something like A Serious Drama (but not that exactly). Maybe it was in one of those..? Honor Club, easy as pie. http://achewood.com/honorclub.php God I wish my ask were that available. Scags McDouglas fucked around with this message at 00:53 on Jan 26, 2023 |
|
#
¿
Jan 26, 2023 00:46
|
|
|
I was thinking about it and some of my favorite moments are when two characters only have a single interaction in the whole series. Because there's no precedent, there's no way to predict how it turns out but it seems natural in retrospect. Example: Blister freely roasting Nice Pete. It's by far the most fearless and antagonistic anyone was ever at to Pete. (Pat a distant second). I like to think the squirrels coast in and out of the afterlife so often that the threat of death from a serial killer is a minor inconvenience. Little Nephew and Teodor. It starts out with Nephew acting in character and then slowly plays out as an awkward, codified drug deal.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 12, 2023 19:10
|
|
|
Youremother posted:See also Ramses and Iorweth embarassing themselves over a stand mixer, Lyle and Vlad going out during the GOF to fight in the yard, Teodor getting a boner while hugging Molly, all classic moments. As much as my brain is eroding into cheese, "pale blue cast of dawn" has permanent residence.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 12, 2023 22:57
|
|
|
Rev. Bleech_ posted:still slowly poking my way through the archives+blogs from time to time and man Molly and Roast Beef's relationship was secretly toxic as hell the entire time. See what you did Beef?! drat you!
|
|
#
¿
Feb 23, 2023 00:30
|
|
|
mutantIke posted:it's pretty funny that he got pestered to make "guy who sucks/got depression" shirts since the comic first dropped, refused for eons, and then finally printed it... as a sticker <--------- This is the closest I'll ever come to wearing that shirt.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 25, 2023 19:12
|
|
|
JethroMcB posted:One time I was wearing it at the liquor store and the clerk almost refused to sell to me. I feel like you just slipped in some of the funniest poo poo I've ever heard. Did he think you were underage or suicidal? I can't believe you found someone who cares that much. I've done some moonlighting in the liquor store during my Publix days and I can almost promise that 99.9% of clerks are only capable of three thoughts during checkout, and it doesn't matter if you're half naked or in a bumblebee costume. "Does he have an ID" "Is he shoplifting" "When the hell can I clock out".
|
|
#
¿
Feb 28, 2023 14:06
|
|
|
JethroMcB posted:I was there with my buddy, we were both 22/23 at the time, it was mid/late afternoon and we were in full "Let's get a bottle for our WILD Friday night (of hanging out at his apartment playing Wii)" mode. The guy at the register was older, the kind of guy who likely took the job part-time out of boredom after 6 months of retirement, and was probably just looking to hassle the boisterous kids who interrupted his otherwise quiet afternoon shift. "The back of your shirt says you're depressed! I don't know if it's wise for me to sell alcohol to somebody who goes around advertising that kind of thing." Hahah. If I were the clerk and someone reasonably convinced me they were depressed I'd just point them to whatever deals we had on the 1.75's
|
|
#
¿
Feb 28, 2023 16:59
|
|
|
Yeah- I got one of my best buddies to check it out a few weeks ago because he was extolling the superiority of chicken thighs in cooking and I demanded he read Nice Pete's cookbook entry on the subject. Sent the poor guy into a time consuming rabbithole in which he binged the whole comic. I was a little bit envious knowing he was experiencing it all for the first time. I've known him for about a decade and he probably ran into constant strips that exposed the way I plagiarize the comic with my sense of humor. "Actual, personal hose". "Folded with the focus and intensity usually seen only in success". "Dong razzled and their money is 'away from them' "The eden we once knew". "physical therapy, speaking at highschools". He died a bit that day. Welcome to the only game in town.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2023 05:55
|
|
|
JethroMcB posted:I...am...here... I forgot a go-to. "They said it couldn't be done" "Scientists are still trying to figure it out"
|
|
#
¿
Apr 2, 2023 00:39
|
|
|
Howard Beale posted:There is this new invention called making love that the main doctors are telling scientists about This is another joke I plagiarized IRL. My friend and his girlfriend taxied home drunk one night and were stuck outside of their own house for half the night. I used this exact line, except swapping "making love" for "spare key technology".
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2023 14:31
|
|
|
I slowly go insane about this but I swear upon high, there is a Nice Pete story lost to time where he headbutts a park ranger and then shoves a tamale down his throat and crams another in his rear end. This is probably the 7th time I've brought it up but I feel like I'm describing a hallucination at this point. e: It was this story, it's just missing the first half. Scags McDouglas fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Aug 20, 2023 |
|
#
¿
Aug 20, 2023 14:50
|
|
|
Pastry of the Year posted:so I noticed in American Dad S4E10 ("Tearjerker") that not only is Roger dressed like Ray in one scene Credit where it's due, I never would have caught this. The monocle throws me off. And the fact that you managed to remember 3081 is absolutely insane to me, unless you just saw it in the show and searched OhNoRobot or whatever is cached.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 12, 2023 16:06
|
|
|
Not that it was a risky prediction, but the poster who guessed that Ray would be immediately accepted and more popular than Pat got it right on.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 22, 2023 18:24
|
|
|
Also I'm glad Achewood came back to deliver this character arc that I never knew I craved.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 22, 2023 18:30
|
|
|
Deathlove posted:Oh no, I am having Sympathy for Pat. Maybe even...Empathy??? Oh God. Oh no. Pat: "annihilation of their rejection" Next two panels: dc lol e: Also not that he's been quietly downgraded from br.... to Pat.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 6, 2023 18:13
|
|
|
moot the hopple posted:Video of an overweight cat having to wipe from the front these days due to carpal tunnel would be a fitting conclusion to the internet My prediction for the end of this arc (but maybe not especially risky) - is that this is entirely just a financial scheme meant to fleece Ray and he'll fall for it. Cult leader wearin' them fancy shoes and talking about how money won't even matter after a large one-time investment. e: And it's getting VERY "Scientology" with the group ostensibly looking like self-help to new members, but turns into insane batshit theory reserved only for the top sanctum that have bought their way up. Scags McDouglas fucked around with this message at 23:26 on Oct 14, 2023 |
|
#
¿
Oct 14, 2023 23:22
|
|
|
Dunny posted:Referring to Ray as the Whale was pretty much giving that one away, agreed. The real question on my mind is whether or not Pat understood what a "Whale" means when he used that term. Hah that's hilarious, I completely missed the Whale detail. It's also noticeable that once Pat's use as a social connection was expended, the cult leader quickly switched off his religious rhetoric.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 15, 2023 17:19
|
|
|
"BEING IN TROUBLE IS A FAKE IDEA" would look really embarrassing in a mugshot.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 16, 2023 14:21
|
|
|
I assume it's ok to post this off of the Patreon? https://achewood-holiday-pop-up.myshopify.com/ password "entropy1" And oh my god the rabbit ambulance shirt is back! I saw a guy at a party wearing that at least 17 years ago and we were instant best friends.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 16, 2023 20:08
|
|
|
moot the hopple posted:I'm cool with paying a Patreon sub for the comic, but I don't blame anybody for being justifiably leery of ordering any physical merchandise given the shoddy track record. It does seem like he's selling actual, tangible things this time but I am kinda curious about about the legality of then vs now. For instance if you pre-order a digital cookbook and are made to wait after the chargeback window, I guess you're hosed? This was obviously conducted in such a way that he kept the money, which is why it's one of this thread's touchier subjects. Maybe there needed to be a class action lawsuit. Now if I bought something and it hit like day 50 I'd chargeback the absolute balls off of him. (But it does seem like he honors things these days and that this is sincere).
|
|
#
¿
Oct 17, 2023 02:37
|
|
|
Javid posted:I generally quit doing business with people who have pulled chargeback-level fraud in the past, as even in a best case scenario clawing that money back is still a hassle Yeah and that's part of the more philosophical point I was making. We used to be children reading this (college aged children) so we'd all take it as a loss over the fraud. Now we're all grown rear end adults... probably... which makes us tougher to fleece but also (in 2023) has lowered the barrier of expended energy on a dispute 'cause I'd just log in to my CC site and take the funds back in like 15 seconds. I do however think he's legit selling stuff this time and at worst, will keep taking orders after running out. Conclusion:
|
|
#
¿
Oct 17, 2023 03:56
|
|
|
NGL I don't know poo poo about fashion, and the first time Balenciagas came up I googled it and thought Ray was talking about his shoes. Still pretty much following concept clues that Zenni is worse.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 20, 2023 19:40
|
|
|
I think now is a good time to retract my theory that Ron's going to trick Ray out of money.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 27, 2023 18:18
|
|
|
I'm completely on Team Beef. I have a trick where I will never answer a Facetime call. Hell, even regular calls- my closest friends all know for a fact that calling me doesn't work.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 10, 2023 19:30
|
|
|
Three observations: 1. It's a funny trope that Teodor, a grown adult, is constantly in a panic state of "rent due, must think of something". 2. His parachute shorts apparently qualify as his fancy clothes 3. Calling it now that nothing with Tina will end well e: "Coming up soon in the In-Universe tier: the first of two childhood holiday stories from Nice Pete, detailing a heart-warming coming of age." Oh god these are the BEST. Scags McDouglas fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Nov 24, 2023 |
|
#
¿
Nov 24, 2023 23:00
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 08:24 |
|
|
I just realized that Teodor and Tina have already interacted by proxy. It's going to be awkward if she realizes he was the voice that accepted the offer of a Commodore. "I.. my preference in the bed. Yes.. always. It is my way". She only got to hear the leaf-blower from Cornelius.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 25, 2023 05:48
|
|