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DarkCrawler posted:This new one is pretty funny: Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc. And Stop Making Movies About My Books by Dr. Seuss (written in Seuss' style) is priceless. Zugzwang has a new favorite as of 14:23 on Jun 2, 2012 |
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Jun 2, 2012 14:20
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Jerusalem posted:Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They're Having Great Sex With Someone Else Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Glowing Rectangles 
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Jun 17, 2012 17:25
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:I love this article so much it hurts. itrorev posted:^^^^ Content:  
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Jul 29, 2012 16:54
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KittenParade posted:This one is adorable. Single Bee Sends Gathering Of Humans Into Helpless Panic
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Aug 3, 2012 19:50
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Incredible post + avatar combination. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 22, 2012 19:20
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Young Freud posted:Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans
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Aug 22, 2012 23:55
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Things That Shouldn't Be Said In Modern Society To Be Said At Least 1,400 Times At RNC
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Aug 27, 2012 21:36
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quote:Virginity Still In Mint Condition And now for content. This one is an oldie, but it's golden: Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet
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Sep 1, 2012 00:34
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Chiefs Realize Brady Quinn Received 'Frog And Toad Are Friends' Instead Of Playbook I honestly don't follow sports at all, but The Onion's headlines/brief articles on sports are usually so funny, I don't need to know anything about the person they're parodying in order to enjoy what I'm reading.
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Sep 3, 2012 19:08
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Having known some Truthers in my time, this one is masterful: 9/11 Truther Convinced Government Destroyed Past 11 Years Of His Life
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Sep 11, 2012 19:31
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Hot on the heels of his appalling display from yesterday - Romney: 'We Should Never Apologize For American Values Or Japanese Internment Camps' The punchline is especially great, since this is exactly what he did when asked how his administration would have handled the attacks: quote:When asked by reporters what American values are exactly, or what the phrase American values even means, Romney stared at the press, blinked several times, and walked off stage.
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Sep 13, 2012 19:53
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Another Romney gem: Now That My Campaign Is Over, I'd Like To Talk To You All About The Church Of Latter-Day Saints
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Sep 19, 2012 17:52
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lidnsya posted:I really love this one: Anyway, my contribution - this video's a few years old but quite funny: Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
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Sep 24, 2012 14:14
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Nation's Ever So Malleable Simpletons Fluttering Between Candidates Like Shuttlecocks Through Every Moment Of Debate Edit: Also, Romney To Town Hall Audience: 'I Own Horses And Care For Them, And You Are All Like Horses' Zugzwang has a new favorite as of 02:34 on Oct 17, 2012 |
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Oct 17, 2012 02:28
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With the Trump stuff in the news again, let's not forget this gem (it's from News in Photos so I'll just post the photo):
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Oct 25, 2012 17:56
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They've been cranking out some great hurricane-related ones: 20 Idiots Evacuated From Times Square M&M's Store Misinformed Man Riding Out Storm In Bathtub Filled With Batteries Hurricane Gives Holed-Up Couple Great Chance To Have All Those Fights They've Been Avoiding Tempus Fugit posted:Holy poo poo 
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Oct 29, 2012 23:06
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Weird Couple Has Greatest Sex Of Their Lives After Announcement Of Disney-LucasFilm Merger Last line: quote:The exceedingly strange couple added that they hadn’t had such great sex since 2007, when they “couldn’t keep their hands off each other” after learning Brendan Fraser had signed on to reprise his role as explorer Rick O’Connell for a third film in The Mummy franchise.
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Oct 31, 2012 20:27
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'I Want To Congratulate The President,' Romney Says In 240,000th And Final Lie Of Campaign
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Nov 7, 2012 12:56
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"Hillary Clinton announces she has 'not ruled out' 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size."
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Nov 7, 2012 19:45
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That DICK! posted:The best thing about this election being over is I never need to watch this 7/11 cup commercial again. Except it's still on, for some reason. I would happily pay a membership fee to get rid of ads on that site, christ. Content: Millions Without Power Following Election
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Nov 7, 2012 21:13
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Since we're posting old gems, I was reminded of this one today: Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
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Nov 14, 2012 00:34
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I know more than a few people who are exactly like this: Area Woman Finally Uploads All 12 Million Pictures Of Her Vacation To Europe On Facebook Related classic: Amazing New Hyperbolic Chamber Greatest Invention In The History Of Mankind Ever
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Nov 19, 2012 23:31
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magnafides posted:This, also: ing at the same time.For content, here's another great one from back then: Dog Urine Lowers Heart-Attack Risk, Say Snickering Researchers
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Nov 28, 2012 01:48
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Rand Paul's reaction was loving perfect.
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Dec 14, 2012 13:44
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'Tis the season: Holiday Advertisers Seek Coveted Dicktard DemographicTime Cowboy posted:Biden Pins Up Guitar Lesson Flyers On White House Bulletin Board 
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Dec 18, 2012 04:07
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Scientists Debut Smug Robot That Can Run Half-Marathon, Brag About It The news ticker is great as usual in this one, especially "Honda Working On More Realistic Bot That Gives Up On Going To Gym"
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Jan 3, 2013 16:03
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Boondock Saint posted:Nation Would Not Be Surprised At This Point If Chris Brown Allegedly Traveled Back In Time And Punched Anne Frank
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Jan 28, 2013 22:56
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In between bouts of contemplating moving to one of the uninhabited islands off the coast of Alaska until ads for "Identity Thief" stop being shown, I thought of this Onion article: Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel
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Jan 31, 2013 21:23
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So the question is: how many people are going to believe this? Bonus points for being a foreign news source.
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Feb 12, 2013 21:43
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Orange_Lazarus posted:Man this one brought me to tears: Another oldie-but-goodie: Area Homosexual Saves Four From Fire
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Feb 22, 2013 18:03
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Lovechop posted:I thought it was hilarious. It sucks to see the Onion break the fourth wall and apologize, I don't know why everyone was so worked up about something a satire site said.
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Feb 25, 2013 18:09
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 Difficult To Tell If T.J. Maxx Hit Hard By Recession Childbirth To Be Area Woman's Least Painful Interaction With Daughter Heroic Computer Dies To Save World From Master's Thesis
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Feb 27, 2013 00:11
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Two classic point/counterpoints: My Computer Totally Hates Me! vs. God, Do I Hate That Bitch This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No it won't The second one refers to the Iraq war. I swear, between that one and this one, if I didn't know better, I'd say they were psychic: Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
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Mar 4, 2013 20:00
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The look on the cat lover's face is absolutely priceless. Content: Darling, I Will Give You The Moon And The Stars vs. Giving Me The Moon And Stars Would Have Disastrous Effects On Our Galaxy
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Mar 4, 2013 20:09
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Your Obsessive Love Or Hatred Of Me Means Nothing In The Grand Scheme Of Geological Time by Justin Bieber 450-Pound Man Didn't Go To Doctor For A Lecture
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Mar 12, 2013 17:42
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ultrafilter posted:Did you know that The Onion has actually pulled an article from their archives?
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Mar 25, 2013 23:31
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Holy gently caress. Hi, In The Past 2 Years, You Have Allowed Me To Kill 70,000 People (By Bashar al-Assad)
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Mar 26, 2013 00:57
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The "babies are stupid" story was in "The Onion's Finest News Reporting", which was one of their first books, if not their first book altogether. I can understand why they pulled that "bear rapes man" story somebody posted above, but this one was pretty good satire.
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Mar 26, 2013 03:49
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To mark today's SCOTUS cases regarding same-sex marriage, I thought this was worth posting: I Get To Determine Whether Gay People Can Marry (by Clarence Thomas) quote:I've spoken maybe two times in the past decade, for Christ’s sake. Think about that. That’s hundreds and hundreds of cases during which I've sat silently and twiddled my thumbs as my colleagues actively interrogated lawyers and posed tough questions about the scope and applications of laws—cases to which I barely paid attention, sometimes appearing to nap on the bench. And I get to have a say in deciding on a constitutional level whether or not all adult members of the human race have the right to recognize their unions? That historic judgment falls on my shoulders?
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Mar 26, 2013 20:02
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Supreme Court Justices Brought To Tears By Heartfelt Testimony Of Bigot Who Hates Gay People Yes indeed, the arguments being used by the anti-marriage equality attorney are really, really, truly embarrassingly terrible.
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Mar 27, 2013 17:51
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