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Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





https://twitter.com/archaeologypics/status/1416812935079350274?s=19

Diog out there perfecting the craft by putting Og and Friends HUNGRY adventures into the ground thousands of years ago as a Gilgamesh fanfic pt V

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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




https://etc.worldhistory.org/exhibitions/giglamesh-enkidu-humbaba-cedar-forest-newest-discovered-tablet-v-epic/ posted:


The new T.1447 tablet, according to the article Back to the Cedar Forest: The beginning and end of Tablet V of the Standard Babylonian Epic of Gilgameš published in June, 2014 is:

The revised reconstruction of Tablet V yields text that is nearly twenty lines longer than previously known.
The obverse (columns i-ii) duplicates the Neo-Assyrian fragments which means the Epic tablet can be placed in order and used to fill in the gaps between them.
It also shows the recension on Tablet V was in Babylonia, as well as Assyria and that “izzizūma inappatū qišta” is the same phrase that other tablets being with.
The reverse (columns v-vi) duplicates parts of the reverse (columns iv-vi) of the late Babylonian tablet excavated at Uruk that begins with the inscription “Humbāba pâšu īpušma iqabbi izakkara ana Gilgāmeš”.

The most interesting piece of information provided by this new source is the continuation of the description of the Cedar Forest:Gilgamesh and Enkidu saw ‘monkeys’ as part of the exotic and noisy fauna of the Cedar Forest; this was not mentioned in other versions of the Epic.
Humbaba emerges, not as a barbarian ogre, and but as a foreign ruler entertained with exotic music at court in the manner of Babylonian kings.
The chatter of monkeys, chorus of cicada, and squawking of many kinds of birds formed a symphony (or cacophony) that daily entertained the forest’s guardian, Humbaba.
The aftermath of Gilgamesh and Enkidu’s slaying of Humbaba is now better preserved.
The passages are consistent with other versions and confirm what was already known.
For example, Enkidu had spent some time with Humbaba in his youth.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



Enkidel's intent is supplanted by the ramblings of a jackass. this time a genuine historical record is involved. the record is used as aggregate or ablative armor as needed. All is well and within Kavodel tradition.

Bright Future
Oct 9, 2007

[let's] fuck that crazy-ass robot

Those tablets were found where exactly? A hole? In the ground? Kind of exactly what we just passed up the opportunity to check out? Smh.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



An entire city of hunger demons sounds just dandy. Fine for a visit on a nice day.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





Blasphemaster posted:

An entire city of hunger demons sounds just dandy. Fine for a visit on a nice day.

You're always welcome to visit Atalanta, my city of HUNGRY and coke heads

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




:zombie:"Morning hungry Bob"
:zpatriot: "Morning hungry Jack, found anyone to eat?"
:zombie: "No one recently, you think we need to advertise better?"
:zpatriot: "it's either that or go back to digging with our bare fingerbones for a couple eons"
:krakken: YES LITTLE MORSELS DIG YOU WAY TO THE OCEAN DEEP FOR I HUNGER

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





Wow way to spy on my constituents :colbert:

Z the IVth
Jan 28, 2009

The trouble with your "expendable machines"

Fun Shoe

Slaan posted:

https://twitter.com/archaeologypics/status/1416812935079350274?s=19

Diog out there perfecting the craft by putting Og and Friends HUNGRY adventures into the ground thousands of years ago as a Gilgamesh fanfic pt V

CYOA Epic of Gilgamesh update just dropped.

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place



Diog,important tactical information, is it religiously okay to muzzle an ox while itís out treading grain?

Please answer with a spreadsheet including central church doctrine, Zepatham custom, melachim cult weird rules and Carine El room commandments.



Thanks

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



Slaan posted:

You're always welcome to visit Atalanta, my city of HUNGRY and coke heads

Staying close to Asherah, I see. Smart. The hungry faithful get eaten first, right?

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Mr. Nemo posted:

Diog,important tactical information, is it religiously okay to muzzle an ox while itís out treading grain?

Please answer with a spreadsheet including central church doctrine, Zepatham custom, melachim cult weird rules and Carine El room commandments.



Thanks

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




The Slaan spot just says: "Oxen or human makes no difference, sear on one side flip and broil to medium".

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




lol

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





By popular demand posted:

The Slaan spot just says: "Oxen or human makes no difference, sear on one side flip and broil to medium".

Rare or GTFO

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place




Yesss

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."



AE

Talk to Hadad. Apologize for the conduct of our people. Offer to make him a more dignified sign and to issue a decree to our people to leave him alone. In private, talk shop about bows, archery and Blooded bronze.

Talk to Shalman. Does he realize just how long it will take to learn this craft? It's he's willing to keep at it until the next Jubilee and beyond, well, Hadad seems to be warming up to him, and this is probably the best place he could be. If not, offer to buy out his debt.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


This is amazing.

Mr. Nemo posted:

Diog,important tactical information, is it religiously okay to muzzle an ox while itís out treading grain?

Please answer with a spreadsheet including central church doctrine, Zepatham custom, melachim cult weird rules and Carine El room commandments.


In fact, it is one of the weird rules that the Melachim worshipers back home believed in which you had not otherwise heard of before.


[...]



Update ETA less than an hour?

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Diogines posted:

A bored looking slave with a slave collar around his neck sits on a stool on the porch of Hadad's home whittling the shafts for some arrows with a knife. There is nothing strictly speaking forbidden a house slave from having a collar but it was not the style the last time you were in Baitel, such tend to be the sign of a troublesome or especially low value slave in the places where collars are more common, given to trouble makers or those slaves performing the worst tasks. You yell for the slave but he does not seem to hear you. After a bit of shouting you take out one of the small mirrors that the Balls of Labaras use to signal over the long distances and shine some light at this eyes. That seems to get his attention. You try to gesture to the man to look towards the target range but you are quite far away and he does not seem to understand. Eventually you use the signalling mirror to lure him to the side of Hadad's home and then you place the mirror down, lift your bow in one hand and a Blooded Bronze arrow in the other and take aim at the 500-paces target, though it is considerably further from where you stand now.





You release the arrow with a THWAAAP! It soars through the air......


KA-THUNK!


The arrows lands in the genitals of the target. You raise your bow and aim for the target a thousand paces...








KA-THUNK!


Your arrow smashes into the target's heart. In rapid succession you fire three more arrows...



THWAP! THWAP! THWAP!


KA-THUNK!


KA-THUNK!


KA-THUNK!



All three arrows bury themselves in the head of the target at two thousand paces. The slave raises a hand to his brow to block out the sun and strains his eyes as he looks at the targets. Urgun asks "Uncle, did you hit them?" Esher laughs. You say yes, you did. At this display the slave begins walking the long distance from the house to where you stand now at the edge of the path which goes by Hadad's home. Looks of confusion and shame are exchanged.

"What are YOU doing here?" Esher asks in an angry tone.

"What am I doing here? Grandfather? Grandfathers? I'm... i'm studying, Hadad is... is going to make me his apprentice, I mean I am his apprentice" says Shalman, son of Jamlech, son of Esher, son of Asahel, son of Enkidel "So thank you for coming but I am doing just fine! Now please just... just go away, you'll make everything worse. Master Hadad does not like visitors."

"Master?" Esher sneers "Tell your master that no man of Kavodel, no man of our family will ever be left in bondage and you are coming with us, now." Esher then looks to you and says "Right?" Esher turns back to his grandson and says "Why couldn't you just go kill a sea monster? How did you end up HERE of all places?"

You tell Esher you aren't sure what you are doing yet. Shalman, what is going on, how did you get here and why are you wearing a slave collar? Shalman insists that he is merely studying as Hadad's apprentice, which you don't believe for even a moment and after trying to persuade him to spill the beans does not work you begin to simply demand in increasingly stern language until finally Shalaman tells you what happened.

Apparently Shalman, who is almost nineteen somehow got it into his head that he would... somehow persuade Hadad to give him a bow to aid him in his quest, just like his famous great-great grandfather did and... Hadad's slave would not let him inside, he wouldn't even let him to take Hadad's test so Shalman kind of... snuck into Hadad's home anyway... Gareb winces at that, Esher does not, having already reached peak-exasperation prior to this point. Shalman goes on to explain that he... might have been dragged before a judge in the city and fined... which he couldn't pay on account of being broke and may... may have been... told to work off his debt to Hadad doing... labor in an involuntary manner for... a while. "But, but I know I am growing on him! Some days he even gives me a little bit of chicken with my dinner and last month he had me making some arrows! I mean he didn't tell me to, but he didn't yell when I started making some as long as I did it on my stool!"

"Last month" Esher shouts "how long have you been here!?"

[mumble mumble mumble]

"How long?!" Esher demands.

"A year... and a month."

"I cannot believe this" Esher says "You know your uncles are probably searching the wild for your bones by now! Your mother is worried!"

[mumble mumble mumble]

"Speak up!"

"I said I am sorry Grandfather."

Esher looks to you and says "Grandfather, no demon has slain me but I will perish from embarrassment if we leave this idiot here. Can we please just pay off this fool's debt and talk to Hadad about the sign? All of our family is shamed by it and him."

Shalman protests "No! He just wants me to prove myself! He has to know I take the bow seriously! I know if I keep at it he'll start training me properly soon! Just go away!"

Esher puts a hand on his face and sighs.

Urgun has not said much during this but he finally speaks up and says "Uncle, the boy made his own mistakes. His own very, very stupid mistakes-" Shalman looks down a bit sheepishly as another one of his relatives speaks up "-but we can't buy him out of his servitude? He IS still on his trial, isn't he? Surely any challenges he faces on it are his own to solve, without help from his family? But I would like to get that sign down."

Gareb nods "He dug his own grave, he has to climb out of it. But that sign is more than a tad shameful. From what you have said the old man is... crotchety but surely you can talk him into taking it down?"

You are not especially close with your great-great grandson Shalman, you have a big family and many responsibilities and demands on your time. The boy always seemed... very earnest however and showed an interest in archery greater than most of his peers. There is no... formal policy about it, but the Balls discourage their offspring and descendants from going to a few places on their manhood trials. A stern reminder is given to not to go to Kitron, for the King has banned such, not to go after the giants because "you will definitely get yourself killed if there are even any left" and not to go to Seir because "...the journey is too long and it is just much too far." You... quietly discouraged trips from Ball-descendants(and your own family) to Seir after you learned that their king is a madman and a heretic, but not wishing to share that tidbit(as the Great Cities are supposed to be morally proper and it is... distasteful to insult them and shameful to acknowledge that apparently one of them has been heretical for generations?) so you just lied about how far away it was, its not like anyone really knows anyway, well almost no one does. And it IS very, very, very far, you simply exaggerated it further. With Seir off the table it looks like Shalman went some place else to pursue this archerous-dreams and... broke into Hadad's home?

You give Shalman... a look. If that look is one of pity, anger, amusement or embarrassment is unclear. You have received many a Look over the years, you give a cryptic one in turn. Then you tell him to "Go tell Hadad I am here and that I would like to talk."

Shalaman insists that "Everything is fine! I don't need help! And.... and Hadad won't want to talk to you anyway. There is a whole sign about that!"

You are sure that Hadad will make an exception for you. If only to yell at you in person.

Defeated, Shalman looks down and sighs. He walks up the long path to Hadad's home and you can't really make out what is said inside but if you strain your hearing you THINK you hear some shouting? Eventually Shalman walks out, possibly looking as if he aged several years in the last twenty minutes and says "Master Hadad will agree to see you, but only you, the others are not welcome."

And so flanked by Shalman you begin to walk up the long path towards Hadad's home.

A bit down the path you see a second clay sign with a rather convincing looking fake skull on top of it, this sign has writing upon it in the standard writing of Ur.

"THIS MEANS YOU!"

Beside it is a more recent stone sign on which is written, in the script of Kavodel "YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL. ZEPATHANS WILL BE SHOT. HE IS NOT KIDDING."

From your last trip here with Snarls you know them to be fake, but you walk on until you see another very realistic looking, but fake human skull on a stake and a sign which reads "TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT! SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT TWICE!"

And beside it, another new stone sign on which is written in Kavodel script. "THIS IS NOT A TEST TO DETER ALL BUT THE WORTHY, YOU IDIOT. HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU. HE REALLY HATES ZEPATHANS."

The next sign about a hundred paces from the last, also with a rather convincing fake skull on a stake says in the common script "STUBBORN SURVIVORS WILL BE FED TO THE DRAGON!" Beside that sign is yet another new stone sign in Kavodel-script on which is written "PLEASE MAKE SURE TO HAVE YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER. YOU WILL BE KILLED SHORTLY."

You pass several more threatening signs, the same ones you saw upon your last visit, it does not look like Shalman was tasked to make any more? You also pass a deep pit several dozen paces deep filled with spikes which are partially submerged in water among which float some very large lizards with fierce looking teeth.

Eventually you reach a large and expensive looking home, Shalman takes a seat on a stool beside the door and says "He is waiting for you inside."

You glance briefly at the stone sign beside the door.




This is the home of Hadad of Dinhaba, Master of the Bow.

Go away.

Solicitors, please jump in the pit.

Well wishers, please jump in the pit.

Curiosity seekers, please jump in the pit.

If you are from Seir, please jump in the pit.

If you are looking for the Bow of Esau, please take a running jump into the pit, head first. If you survive, check the House of El.

If you wish to hire me to fight, please punch yourself in the face as hard as you can, then jump in the pit.

If you think your cause is special and really worth my attention, jump in the pit.

If you wish to recruit me to go monster hunting, jump in the pit.

If you have a bill, jump in the pit.

If you are less than two hundred years old, please return to your home dig a pit, stand in it and contemplate why you have nothing interesting to say to me. If after climbing out of your own pit you still wish to speak, return and jump into the pit.

If you are a tax collector, jump in the pit.

If you are looking for dragons, check the bottom of the pit.

If you are a Kadmonim, light yourself on fire then jump in the pit.

Burglars will be used for target practice.

Gilbar son of Gilbar. If you were stupid enough to come here, get right with El, please knock and prepare to die.




In tiny words at the bottom of the column it says:

"Leave dragon bones with my slave and tell him where you are staying. A generous payment will be along shortly. Discard fakes into the pit.

Customers not deterred already. Give my slave ten measures of silver to borrow a bow and a single arrow. Hit one of the targets from this position with the bow and Be Welcome.
"

You ask Shalman if you need to hit the target again. He shakes his head "I asked. No. He said that you aren't a customer and said you are an... I would prefer to not repeat what he said, Grandfather, but no, you do not have to."

You walk through the door to Hadad's home.

Most homes in most of Ur are built of mud bricks, some are made of stone. Few are made of wood. The inside of the richly decorated home is built of wood, with exposed wooden floors, walls and ceilings. Many of the surfaces have beautifully intricate and detailed wooden carvings etched into them. A number of monstrous skulls are mounted on the walls like big game trophies. Some of the heads you recognize, some, many you do not. One of them looks like the preserved head of a woman with snakes for hair, which you know to be a gorgon. In one prominent display in the main hallway you see a massive tooth which you are confident is the fang of a dragon, it is very, very sharp and three feet long, you see an image carved into the side of it of Esau slaying a dragon. And stomping out of the back of his home angrily in your direction comes a man you have not seen in a century, Hadad of Dinhaba.





The man looks a bit older than you last saw him but only a bit older and it looks like he has let his beard grow longer.

"I am not giving you the boy, he is mine now and it is the LEAST of what you owe me! Why in the name of the Prophet did you send a legion of your people to my doorstep?! I should take you to Court! Were the signs not clear on how I feel about strangers at my home? You, YOU are barely worth talking to and they are not even toddlers! They have disrespected my slaves, dishonored me and BROKEN into my home numerous times, sometimes in the dead of night! I would be well within my right to have slain ALL of them, but then i'd have to go to the City to give an accounting of it! What did you do?!"

What!? You didn't... DO anything!




"Then why have a torrent of infants been beating down my door!"

I have no idea WHAT you are talking about! I barely even told anyone about you! I told... my father but he hardly cared, Chait and one of my teachers, a man named Ishamal, my friends who came with me know but that was a century ago!




"Well you must have told them quite a tale because I have had idiot after idiot barging in here certain that THEY would be the next Enkidel if only they proved themselves worthy to me! And they have brought the most deranged stories with them, some of them even claimed they fought demons!"


1. Hadad does... not seem happy to see you. How do you want to respond? Fill in. You can be as specific or vague as you want and feel free to copy a response someone else gave if you like it.

If we get enough responses we will probably update again later tonight, though that is not a promise.

[...]


Discord Link if you want to join us to chat: https://discord.gg/SPZ7Hyn

[...]

Travic's Awesome Index: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3550307&pagenumber=4080&perpage=40#post473373440

In the highly unlikely event that SA implodes and Discord also goes down, we will meet on IRC, the channel #madgod on synirc.net. If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/

Diogines fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Jul 22, 2021

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


Apologize to him, tell him the boy is on his manhood trial and this is his mess to get out of, but we would like to replace the sign he made with one from our own hand telling our people to stay away, as well as a promise to spread the word that they should not seek him out when we return home. If hes fine after that show him the progress we have made on our arrows, and tell him about some of our battles with demons and explain they are very real and they are really happening.

Bob Tuskins
Jul 27, 2007

I couldn't imagine life without the beautiful sight of the green horde

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Apologize to him, tell him the boy is on his manhood trial and this is his mess to get out of, but we would like to replace the sign he made with one from our own hand telling our people to stay away, as well as a promise to spread the word that they should not seek him out when we return home. If hes fine after that show him the progress we have made on our arrows, and tell him about some of our battles with demons and explain they are very real and they are really happening.


This sums up my thoughts pretty well

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!



Doctor Rope

Ok, uh, I'd like to respond with some irate indignation on this one.

"Of loving COURSE they're fighting demons Hadad! What do you think I have been doing with my ENTIRE LIFE!? They tell you that because THAT IS WHAT WE ARE DOING! My kin and I have slain demons from the Sea and bloodied the Amalakites to the south. We are not screwing around in the wilderness with our thumbs up our asses!" Follow that up with explaining that the demon stories aren't lies.

Intent of the response is to impress on him that the implication that anyone in the GZMA was lying about fighting demons is *an issue* to us, because nobody needs to lie about it. Whatever evidence he wants or needs, give it. I'm even cool sharing some more ominous stuff that we might otherwise not mention to people about it.

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST


In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004

I love you boy, One Pack, always.


Lipstick Apathy

TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.


voting this

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place



First of all, sorry for all the intruders, I truly haven't sent them this way, I'm willing to make my own sign if it makes you happy.

Second, you can have the kid, until the Jubilee at least, I'm not here for him.

Third of all, we ARE fighting demons Hadad. The temple I had built in Kavodel was sanctified with a demon my men pulled out of my ocean with a boat for example. If you have time to listen I have time to talk. Things are happening Hadad, all over Ur, and you'd do well to be informed.

Fourth, I think I've made same small progress on my arrow making, could you take a look? pull out eagle arrow

Start with an appeasing tone, to get him to listen, and then quickly follow up with two conversation hooks before he can reply, demons and eagle arrow

Mr. Nemo fucked around with this message at 23:41 on Jul 21, 2021

Brain Candy
May 18, 2006



TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.


+1

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb





TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.


Sure this +1

ASAPRockySituation
May 9, 2010



Mr. Nemo posted:

First of all, sorry for all the intruders, I truly haven't sent them this way, I'm willing to make my own sign if it makes you happy.

Second, you can have the kid, until the Jubilee at least, I'm not here for him.

Third of all, we ARE fighting demons Hadad. The temple I had built in Kavodel was sanctified with a demon my men pulled out of my ocean with a boat for example. If you have time to listen I have time to talk. Things are happening Hadad all over Ur, and you'd do well to be informed.

Fourth, I think I've made same small progress on my arrow making, could you take a look? pull out eagle arrow

Start with an appeasing tone, to get him to listen, and then quickly follow up with two conversation hooks before he can reply, demons and eagle arrow


I like this, +1

I love all of our cantankerous old pals

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009



TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.


This plus causally drop that we were even forced to blow up a demon army* with an Arrow of Esau

Make no mention that we were the one who forced us to use it

If it turns out he hates Sier, tell him we scammed the King out of it


alpaca diseases fucked around with this message at 23:56 on Jul 21, 2021

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!



Doctor Rope

TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.


Fine do this, but do it somewhat angrily.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh


Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Apologize to him, tell him the boy is on his manhood trial and this is his mess to get out of, but we would like to replace the sign he made with one from our own hand telling our people to stay away, as well as a promise to spread the word that they should not seek him out when we return home. If hes fine after that show him the progress we have made on our arrows, and tell him about some of our battles with demons and explain they are very real and they are really happening.

Pretty much this, though stop the shop talk and demon talk if he doesn't show interest

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!



- Assure him that Shalm's problems are his own to deal with and that we aren't here about him.
- Offer to put up a sign of our own saying "Hey, this is Enkidel. Stay the hell away. This is not a wink-nudge suggestion, this is a literal command from your Magistrate. If I ever find out you bothered Hadad, I will ban you from Kavodel, assuming there's anything left of you to ban when he's done with you." or something to that effect.
- Show him our best arrows
- Absolutely DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE mention Chaitgate or the Seirrow

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


Next update should go up tomorrow night.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

I'm sure I'll think of something.

alpaca diseases posted:

This plus causally drop that we were even forced to blow up a demon army* with an Arrow of Esau

Make no mention that we were the one who forced us to use it

If it turns out he hates Sier, tell him we scammed the King out of it


Please do not do this I don't think this guy wants to know we were even given the arrow regardless of circumstances.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!



Volmarias posted:

Please do not do this I don't think this guy wants to know we were even given the arrow regardless of circumstances.

For real. Think about how disappointed Chait was when we told him we used it (before we pissed him off), he clearly saw it as a massive waste to have used on the force that we did.
Though, on the other hand, Hadad may reveal some new and exciting ways to call us an El-damned moron for having done it.

But no, don't mention the Seirrow.

Brain Candy
May 18, 2006



Volmarias posted:

Please do not do this I don't think this guy wants to know we were even given the arrow regardless of circumstances.

Yep, firm no on talking about the Seirrow

unimportantguy
Dec 25, 2012

Hey, Johnny, what's a "shitpost"?


Don't say poo poo about demons.. He's already mad. Don't antagonize him more with what he will only see as lies.

Apologize for the disturbances, tell him we didn't know about them. Offer to replace the sign with one saying we say to leave him alone, but the insulting sign has to go as a matter of honor. We will publicly announce when we get home that any who bothers him will be publicly gelded or some other appropriately dramatic punishment.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Listen. There's nothing to see here.


TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.

This basically sums things up for me.

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?




TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.


Say this

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malbogio
Jan 19, 2015



TheCog posted:

In the following order, using our silver tongue

1. We have no idea why these idiots have been coming, but it stops now. We'd like to replace your sign with mine, and as soon as we return to Kavodel We'll make a public announcement to leave you alone.

2. The tales of fighting demons are not exaggerated. We're happy to swear before El, and share the tales of what's been transpiring.

3. We wanted to show you the progress we'd made with arrowcrafting, and express our gratitude again

4. Really sorry about the train of kavodelian idiots. They're uh... spirited, but they mean well.


+1

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