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Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

I thought it was called the emergency brake because it's a redundant mechanical linkage for your rears in case you have a brake line pop off, or something. But like Mooseykins' friend shows, people don't know that or can't tell the difference between "I have already locked the wheels and am now sliding" and "My hydraulics have poo poo the bed."

Mitch Hedberg put it best:

“When I drive a rental car, I don't know what's going on with it, right? So a lot of time I drive, like, for 10 miles with the emergency parking brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it says even less for the emergency parking brake. It's more like an 'emergency make-the-car-smell-funny' lever.”

It's basically for that and for handbrake drifts right after a big snowfall.

Any more "a ticket came in" stories?

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Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe


Nothing you can say is going to convince me of anything but that the fist controls are for when it transforms into robot mode.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Disgruntled Bovine posted:

Then instead of the mantra being "Go to the track if you want to drive like that. You'll kill someone you idiot." It will be "Go to the track if you want to drive a car yourself. You'll kill someone you idiot."

Of course, there won't be any more tracks because they interfere with the eco-harmony of our interurban biomes.our property values.

C'mon man you know what it's really about

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Seat Safety Switch posted:

Last year we had a chinook wind that melted a bunch of snow at the end of my driveway and I found half a Neon bumper encased in the ice. That's value.

What area of town was this, I've lived in the deep southeast most of my life with a couple years close to city center and I don't really recall snowbanks deep enough to hide a bumper in. I know the north end gets a lot more weather than the south in general.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Cakefool posted:

I love the trends for yellow headlights, more than words can express. I'll never get them myself but everyone who runs yellows isn't running purple hidzzzz.

Wanna see a line of cars, the first with purple hidz, the next with yellow, purple, yellow, purple, yellow...

Maybe park em outside a Lakers game

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

I parked my motorcycle in those half-stalls a couple times until I realized that if someone is okay with parking like a jerk, they are also probably ok with dooring my bike by accident or on purpose.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

InitialDave posted:

God, people who do this. Especially on the street. I indicate reeaaaal early, slow down gently, hug the roadside a bit more, and generally do everything to shout "Hey, rear end in a top hat, I'm stopping here!", and they still get right up my arse - and then get pissed off when I stop, and they don't have enough distance ahead of them to pull out easily. I even sometimes pull over to the side to let people pass before I reach my house, so I can back in without inconveniencing anyone (I live near the end of the street, people think my indicator for pulling into my drive is an early indicator for the junction ahead), and they still loving do it.

There will always, always, always be someone to crawl right up your tailpipe when you want to take your time parking/navigating a tight spot/looking for the right address/at the drivethrough atm. It doesn't matter if the lot is absolutely quiet and it's 2 in the morning. Soon as you slow down, boom. "I'm waiiiitiiiing." Heck, sometimes I've been that guy. Though I try not to be since I know what it feels like.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

kastein posted:

Some joker with RI plates was on the mass pike tonight... doing anywhere from 50 to 95mph. No joke, they would surge forward and do 95 for a minute or two, then forget the throttle existed and slow back down to 50. All while sitting in the left lane.

I thought they were keeping an eye out for speed traps at first but quickly realized the speeds they were doing had no bearing on where speedtraps are, because they blasted by a few normal spots at 85+ and crawled through safe areas.

Drive without rhythm and you won't attract the worm

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Disgruntled Bovine posted:

I was out for a drive on a local mountain road a while back and never before have I seen this demonstrated so well. The speed limit on this road is 50 most of the time, but it has yellow 30 mph warning limit signs for sharp curves constantly. I would have done 58 the whole way, having fun in the corners and while avoiding being pulled over (those warning limits are only a recommendation). Unfortunately everyone else on the road wanted to do 65-70 on the straights and 25 in the corners. On the plus side this particular road has slow vehicle lanes on most of the uphill sections, allowing me to get around some of these idiots.

The funniest part is on my way back I was following an emty flatbed semi, and he was taking the 30 mph corners at 50.

Highway 93 in AB/BC is exactly this. Mostly single lane, passing lanes on some of the uphills, and a few long straight sections with dotted yellow lines also for passing. One year I was out there on my bike and I came a couple feet from being pasted, when a pickup truck going the other way tried to pass the conga line of cars it was behind through the dotted yellow. Normally I ride on the left hand side of the lane, but if I hadn't been tootling along on the right side for no real reason, the fucker would have smeared me all over the road. I didn't even have to dodge him, he just... missed, so it took a couple minutes for my brain to catch up and tell me I almost died.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Horse Divorce posted:

gently caress you for trying to make people happy!

The only bumper sticker I've considered reads "This is not an abandoned vehicle". Shame, I currently don't have a bumper to stick it to.

I've mentioned it before but if I lived in a Bible area I'd get one that said "2 Kings 9:20" and leave it at that

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe


Well this here's a story bout a man named Jed
Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
Then one day he was shootin at some food
When up from the ground came a bubblin crude

Oil that is
Black gold, Texas tea

Next thing you know old Jed's a millionaire
His kinfolk said Jed move away from there
They said California is the place you want to be
So he loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly

Hills, that is
Swimming pools, movie stars

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Tex Avery posted:

This one will always be my favorite.

I don't get why you posted Gabe Newell making an announcement.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Timmy Cruise posted:

Calgary to Sylvan on the #2 looks like driving In Saskatchewan. So many other better choices.

Dude's getting charged apparently:
http://calgary.ctvnews.ca/mobile/ca...-qeii-1.2860859

Tell me of these better choices.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

I was booting it at 120 km/h through a national park a couple weeks ago, where the limit is 90 and the Mounties hold sway. Oncoming car starts flashing its highbeams at me in the universally understood "cops ahead, slow the gently caress down buddy" manner. So I drop to 95, car stops flashing, and as we get closer, I realize it's got a lightbar... and RCMP decals on the side as we pass...

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe


The correct decision upon realizing you're on the Gardiner is to get off the loving Gardiner ASAP before it collapses underneath you

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Saw a flat black brodozer this afternoon, with a decal across the rear window that said "FREEDOM THROUGH WORK". Is that, like, some innocent thing I'm misinterpreting? Cause with that wording it set off my alarm something fierce.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

xzzy posted:

Too bad the fuzz don't politely all drive crown vics anymore, there's too many body styles to instantly identify anymore.

Yeah I miss not having to check every domestic pickup on the Deerfoot for the little white sticker the cops have on their license plates instead of the normal date or fleet sticker

They use entirely unmarked trucks with headache racks and toolboxes, or with cappers. If you don't spot the plate sticker, or the discreet extra flashers on the bumper, or the extremely clean-cut guy with a Henry Rollins neck and a uniform driving it, your next indication that it's a police vehicle is when they light up. My wife thought I was paranoid about ghost cars until I managed to point a few out to her.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe


Man, I really hope that guy didn't murder anyone cause that was too awesome not to cheer for him a little

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

*daffyduckishly* Woopth! Had the thilly thing in reverth-th!

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe


It's a toe truck

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Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Javid posted:

Waiting for a safe shoulder to pull over is how you get, at best, screamed at for an extended period, assuming it doesn't just get you arrested.

When I was a younger, stupider man, I got caught speeding home after midnight on a road that I thought didn't have anywhere safe to pull off. Square-sided curbs, and big berms on either side for noise mitigation. So I just kept driving. For two minutes. With the cop's lights flashing behind me the whole time. Like I said, stupid. Eventually I made it to a stoplight and corner, and I pulled around the corner fully intending to take my medicine... and the fuckin' cop drove off.

I always wondered if I woulda got a ticket if I had stopped earlier.

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