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SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


I really hate when users call and don't bother to call you when "it's already fixed". gently caress off with your bogus calls because you are too retarded to plug in a cable or click that icon on your desktop, I can forgive you for being bad with computers, but if you realize your mistake don't make me walk all the way to you for nothing while I have 5 other calls open.

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SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


I get "You are exceeding profile space limit!!!!" I cant shut down my pc. This is affecting production!!!!
Have you tried deleting files?
Waaaaaa?
Just remove files from your desktop. You can move them to the data partition!
But the doctors made them!!!
Well then just click 'force shutdown' and sort it out monday?
But I dont get this option??? Can I just hold the power button?
Sure, but not on my recommendation.
... (...) THANKS FOR THE HELP (Hangup)

Hey, how about you leave it running? Not like no one does that. I cant manage your files and I cant allow you to shoot it down. What do you want me to do here?

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Inspector_71 posted:

"Ok so I put together a Dell that will handle everything you need for about $540 before tax and shipping."
"Oh wow, that's great! I was expecting to have to spend $1000 at least!"
"Nope, desktops haven't been that much in a while now."
"Wow, that's great. So can we get a cheaper one?"


It's official, my mother has become every bad customer rolled into one.

MOTY outta there as soon as you can, that customer sounds horrible!

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Bob Morales posted:

Real spiders.

This but use ones that put them in the hospital for a few weeks!

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Verdugo posted:

I was working on a laptop and they put the key sticker UNDER the battery in the battery compartment -- talk about the most unintuitive place to put a COA. It was an HP Envy.

I checked there before I remembered that they didn't put anything about Windows 8 on the laptops anymore.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Lum how does one listen to your sessions?

Also why is it a priority issue when the default website isnt intranet? MD. calls to complain the default ms site opens, when I tell him where the Internet Options are, he doesnt find it. But, he was fairly friendly and called back while I was still at lunch to tell me that he found it, so not a total loss

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


That almost beats storing a cum sock in your pc.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


My job just mutated into a pos, my table is being downgraded along with several coworkers, to desks taken from a building that's being demolished, approx. 25 years old and damaged to gently caress. Also instead of writing an order for facilities, The 7 of us who haven't been here for more than 4 years have been ordered to dissasemble shelves and carry them here, along with the tables. So basically we just got degraded to movers, moving poo poo that isn't even our departments. It's not even like facilities work comes out of our (huge) budget or anything...
I honestly don't know what to make of this poo poo, nor how to work on those children playdesks, you can barely fit a keyboard in front of a screen, so no paperwork or anything. They also smell like poo poo and I don't want to store my personal clothes in those drawers. I have no idea who to complain to about this, they are basically making our desks as horrible to be at as possible.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Khisanth Magus posted:

Doesn't piss me off, more makes me depressed:

http://zed0.co.uk/crossword/

This is a thing made by xkcd using the leaked adobe password information and shows the most common passwords. The most common one(the first crossword) are so depressing that people would use them.

I thought about banning any password used more than 15 times, simply by comparing the hashes. Then I remembered that I salt them.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Technogeek posted:

Who the hell uses "facebook" as their password for Adobe?

(Apparently, enough people to make it one of the top 1000.)

who uses password1 and sets password+1 as their tip?

Apparently enough people to make it one of the top 10

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Technogeek posted:

That I can at least understand as being too lazy to care. I just have no clue what would lead someone to go with "facebook".

It's the one thing they can remember. When all that is on your mind is facebook, why not use it as password.
Alternatively, that's the password they used on fb, and then they just reused it.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


I think I am starting to get depressed because of all the resignation of my boss over complaints, but his happiness to punish and insult me for all the things I didn't even do wrong. It also appears that a majority of coworkers are actively conspiring to sabotage me and tell my boss how I'm trying to get them to do my work, while I actually had to handle a whole day's business on my own because all of them sat in their office and simply refused to go out and handle any incidents. I have no idea what to do to let my boss know that I am, in fact, working and probably more than most of my direct coworkers within the 15 minutes we see each other in the morning meeting. It appears that "supposedly great" coworker is now being taken out of daily life to join my boss for who-knows-what and is talking serious slack in a subliminal way so my boss is taking that as fact. Doesn't help that "manager" (who shares an office with the boss) generally likes to tell him that we all don't do any work ever. I tried bringing this sorta think up in private before, when the boss wanted to ban me from any interesting work after I refused to clean a dusty shelf because of allergies, he didn't even consider this a real issue for me, no, I was simply trying to get out of work. So I talked to him in private and he let me know how he was "seeing me put my workload onto coworkers". We don't have a ticket system or anything (too small/boss' mindset) and he literally never sees any of us work so how he feels to have surveyed this is beyond me. I'm guessing it's what "manager" and sg coworker are telling him. When I told him that he must have a wrong impression he just told me to "prove it to him".
Seriously, I just wanted to cry today after he told me that I supposedly hosed up by not telling him about an issue that I told the person in charge about as well as the doctor who then complained to my boss anyway, even tho he agreed to delay it a day.
I'll better end it here since I'm just rambling now, I just really don't know what the gently caress to do anymore. HR would just tell my boss off, who then in turn would make my life hell (even more).

Any advice welcome. Can't for another 2 years so...

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


jim truds posted:

At the least I would document everything. I really do not see how you can make that situation better but you can document the work you do and try to cover your rear end.

Yeah I have started taking notes after every (bigger) incident, which really is already a fuckton. At the very least I'll leave them to deal with that data after I get out of there.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Paladine_PSoT posted:

Do you have local admin? Install something like spiceworks and make/maintain a personal ticketing system. Or just get some legal pads and document everything you do date/time so you can show him how you're filling your day.

I can document it already, the problem is he doesn't "want to hear anymore excuses" and doesn't even attempt to get my side of anything before making judgement.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Agrikk posted:

Why are you stuck there for two more years?

I cannot think of any reason whhat would bind you to them for another day. Start looking for a new gig and save up your cash for your gently caress Off time so you can give them zero days notice and take a two week holiday between jobs when you get that new gig lined up.

It sounds like everyone in your organization is poisoned against you and everyone wins if you leave.

A lot of courses and stuff are part of this job and I need those to stay in my position. Also its not like everyones against me, just that my boss doesnt want to deal with problems and is really short sighted, as well as some of his pals that now work under him being really horrible people.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Che Delilas posted:

Ah, did not know this. Good luck then!

Im not in korea and I wouldnt have to pay anything back, but I wouldnt get any of my certs that they are paying for/organizing. Its a metric shitton which is the only reason I keep up with this poo poo. Also I still like my job when I get to actually do it anymore these days.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Johnny Aztec posted:

You need a hat with a camera in it, and just record everything. Next time douche boss is all " I just don't see any of this", you can open palm slap a tape in and let the truth be revealed, in a tasteful montage.

I honest to god wish I could do that, but its horribly illegal here.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


sfwarlock posted:

Grown-rear end adults who can't clean up after themselves.

It's fine, if you're a visiting person from a branch office, to take over the cube of someone who's not here that day. It's even okay to disconnect his keyb/mouse/monitor for your laptop so you can work better. I have no problem with this.

It's not okay not to hook it all back up before you leave, or at least tell the IT monkey so he (read: so I) can hook it back up at the end of the day.

Otherwise I get a very pissed off ticket going to my phone at 7:00.

Loctite. I think I need Loctite.

If you put locktite anywhere near a vga plug I will personally murder you.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Stealthgerbil posted:

but usually the antivirus itself would do that. how can all three coexist?

Get rid of the antivirus part, just prevent users from doing anything yourself like malware does and mine. Problem solved.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


I am currently sick 4 weeks for an operation. Last year I had constantly reoccuring issues that were related to my cheese intake ( yep, sudden cheese allergy...) and was probably sick a total of 30 days. HR spoke to me, I told them I was sick no matter how much he pryed and thats that. We have to visit the doc immediately, but in turn I can just do that. My employer has no right to know more than that I was sick.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Crowley posted:

Internship on a COBOL team? As if anyone who knows COBOL would take an internship when they can get a 150k+ job instead.

poo poo that's pissing me off today: Gmail and their constant erosion of the simple, clean mail solution it used to be. I don't want to receive mail from random idiots on G+, and I really don't like that Google made it out-out.

Outlook.com is looking better and better every day, if only there was an iPhone app for it.

I dont have google plus anymore, how will it work?

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


MW posted:

It should be noted that this is the minimum that a company must follow. Plenty of companies give you full pay for the full duration of the first 14 days. Though I'm not certain of the limits, I'm pretty sure that what the state reimburses you after 14 days is only a certain percentage of your salary up to a maximum. I believe you a given 80% of your salary up to ~30k SEK (equivalent to about $55k), which is really quite low. A developer for example might expect to earn ~50-60k SEK, or about $100k usd yearly in Stockholm (capital).

Here the first 4 days are paid by the employeer and then you have 3 weeks full pay and after that it declines to half I think. Some certain groups have slightly longer drop off tho.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Siochain posted:

Goddamnit people. Argh.
So we support a lot of "work at home" users, which is cool.
Until I need to remote into your system to troubleshoot poor VoIP quality.
And I can't remote in...then it connects, but takes forever. Then everything is taking forever.
20 minutes later I finally see that uTorrent is running and you are downloading like 60gigs of anime/hentai.
Guess who's boss is getting an email about work time and internet useage?

Jesus.

If it's his private internet, how does the internet usage have any relevance to you? If he's downloading porn at home (even during "work time") and you tell someone you could be slammed with a lawsuit.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Whats wrong with Teamviewer?

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


So I'll be external Monday, Thursday and 1 hour every Friday for the next 3~ months. Boss is telling me to come in before and after the 1 hour assignments. ...
For some reason this really pisses me off, even though I understand the (company) motivation. I guess it's because my Boss seems to give everyone the rest of the day off when poo poo like that is forced on them, but because of his weird hate-boner against me right now, I am exempt.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


jim truds posted:

Pissing me off lately is just how many of our senior techs come to me for answers. It makes me feel great about not being promoted and being below them.

I feel ya mate, I'm basically the goto guy for everyone and expected to work their stuff out for them.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Cenodoxus posted:

I went one better. I emailed my question to the lead architect for that particular solution. He's in India, and within 15 minutes he told me everything I needed to know - at 11:45PM India time, no less.

gently caress in-house developers, except one.

fake edit: ^ except two.

How about in house developers who also run your side of things?

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Urit posted:

Oh devops, a lovely, lovely theory that has no redeeming quality whatsoever.

"Hey, let's take a profession that needs to be focused to be effective and add constant random interruptions while also trying to hold the worker to processes that only make sense for dedicated development teams."

There is nothing good about devops, and I don't even know if it would be possible to make it good. Operations work is almost always reactively focused and you can't tell how much of it there will be in any given day. Is the SAN going to pitch a fit and take down all your servers? Is a switch going to go belly up? Is everything going to work perfectly? Are you going to be called at 4am because someone can't figure out how to log in, and screams at the poor helpdesk tech that "THE SYSTEM IS DOWN!!!"? Who knows!

Okay, now be a developer and commit to timelines and a project management methodology. Also, do your own testing! Oh, you signed off on testing you did yourself? Awesome! Documentation? Naw, I built the system, I don't need to document it! I'll just remember how it all goes together! What's that you say, we have a new guy? Oh well. Hope he literally can telepathically extract the info from the dev's head, because it sure isn't written down, and good luck getting them to share how their crusty systems are built.

Can you tell I'm working in a devops team right now?

This is why I dont feel as part of devops. More like "Hey you can program too? Ok you are now in charge of all testing also no you cant have hardware or time for this. I also I need you to find me a tool for x."
"Hey theres a call and no one from Ops wants to go and you are just sitting there doing thing I dont understand. You go."
"What do you mean you were out on calls??"
I basically am expected to learn Java in our shared office/workshop/small parts storage on my own and without exemption from regular work. My boss even scolded me for "Poor work ethics trying to avoid going on calls" after he forced this on me.
Also I get no money for this either.
2 more years...

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Volmarias posted:

How do you use my butt? Let us know in the comments section below.

Honestly, that sentenance makes more sense now than it did before.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Lum posted:

So the company that borged us want photos so they can do us ID cards, fair enough. They don't state any requirements beyond "a photo"

So me and my partner get the camera out and and take photos. Between her disabilities and my complete failure to look good on camera, this takes a couple of hours, and then it takes her an hour more to get it off the camera and process it in DPP.

I send it off and tell them that I "am not sure what requirements you need, so I have been quite generous with the cropping and left the resolution quite high, so that you can edit it to suit your needs"

six weeks later I get a response telling me that the photo was "unacceptable". I ask if they can tell me what's wrong, e.g. is it a technical issue or are you unhappy with the composition e.g. lighting, shadows, angle.

The response "it doesn't work, try taking another photo".


Great, really helpful feedback there, that's totally going to avoid repeating the same problem after the two of us waste another 3-4 hours at the weekend taking another photo.

I guess it was my mistake, assuming that the people whose job it is to put photos on ID card would know how to, you know, work with images.

I just sent them the same one cropped to a 35:45 ratio and shrunk a lot, hopefully that will work.


If that fails, I'm sorely tempted to just send them a myspace angle shot taken with the company Nokia dumbphone.

Sorry the card printing program only supports bmp. Or proprietary corel photo photos. But I dont know what that is so it just doesnt work with that jpg you sent me.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Lum posted:

^^^ oh god, I remember that pic doing the rounds. Got a genuine LOL from me.


TBH, I reckon that's basically what's going on. The photo I sent them was 2600x2700 and 1MB in size with the idea that they could edit to be however they wanted. He's probably just tried to load it unaltered into the card printing program and made it crash.

Someone on IRC suggested that was well as sending them a myspace angle cam shot I should also do the duckface, only problem is knowing my luck that's the one they'll actually print on the card.

Oh, they would print that, they'd ask their tech savvy facebook friend to get the image to work, because you gotta help out a swag sister like that, yolo!

Sweevo posted:

They were probably using an off the shelf ID card program - all of which are terrible. It was probably a Windows 3.1 program that's been hacked to run inside a Windows XP compatibility wrapper. It probably supports 24-bit uncompressed bmp files and nothing else, and has small and completely arbitrary image size limits because it was originally designed to run on a computer with 4MB RAM.

To be fair, my BIOS picture utility only accepts BMPs with specific color settings, which isn't documented anywhere. I just figured I'd match the settings that would make a picture look like a typical bios picture, and bam, worked.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


People who misplace the rails for a server.
Storages, which's rails aren't short enough to fit in a rack. (gently caress you Dell, all your other servers fit...)

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Bob Morales posted:

I would love to take USB Device Training. Does it come on an interactive DVD with a test, and printable certificate at the end?

I'd pay up to 20 for a certificate in this field.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Netgear unmanaged switches are my favorite. They just work and have a sturdy design. Never want to see them at work again tho.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

You should prob. perform backups and then just charge ten times your normal rate for recovery when everything blows up.
Make backups but charge them for every day they didnt have backups.

Or emulate cryptolocker behavior.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


namol posted:

Tenable? Cause that would explain some of my experiences with them...

Is it ok that I look regex up whenever I need to find more than two seperated strings?

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Hah. I visited a "datacenter" (of the ubiquous closet/storage room-turned-datacenter variant) where I found four daisy chained consumer power strips ultimately plugged into a single socket.. The power strip nearest the socket was hot to the touch.
[/quote]

Most power strips I have come across are rated at 16A, which is more than your average fuse allows you to draw anyway.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


One of my coworkers refuses to refuse my calls when in a meeting. He just lets it ring indefinitely and chews me out for letting it ring. I assumed he wasnt in his office, what other reason not to just hang up?

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Paladine_PSoT posted:

If those switches aren't in a static order you could make it shutdown /r /t /f /m

This is now considered good practice

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SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Bob Morales posted:

To be fair there are about 15 people who have been with the company for 20 years and have lastname@company.com

Not to mention the emails are in the COMPANY DIRECTORY on the intranet and on the phone list and probably 50 other places. Or call Todd and ask him, IT isn't your personal assistant.

I don't know either, but I think there's a place to check, and it's not the IT helpdesk.

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