More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Roargasm posted:

Read between the lines man. A beard is a stupid thing to lose a job over.

You obviously don't have my lush and awesome beard.

# ¿ May 20, 2014 14:55

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 03:51

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

GargleBlaster posted:

To be fair, I didn't mark off Tuesday, and everyone is a bit "hit and miss" in terms of marking down their appointments as well. For some reason everyone prefers using a shared Excel file for indicating whether they're going to be in or out. We had a go at suggesting a move to Outlook shared calendar once before but everyone was fairly new to it then and deemed it "too complicated". Maybe a job for next week, have another go at that suggestion.

This is insane. I can't even.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2014 15:15

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Sickening posted:

Doesn't sound like a big deal. You just need to look into your crystal ball and figure out the upgrades needed for the next 10 years.

It's not that big a deal, figure server replacements every 3 years, desktops every 4, and network stuff (ASA, firewall, internet router etc) every 4 years, guess at a cost per each. Look at the storage growth over the last couple of years and project. Then ask them what the overall company growth rate will be, factor that in on additional equipment, storage, additional servers etc. Put it all in on big spreadsheet and your done. What sounds like a crazy and unreasonable request on the surface is not that big of deal.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2014 22:35

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Gounads posted:

Then.. what do they do all day long?

First, if it's SQL Server then who the gently caress knows, those aren't DBAs. As an Oracle DBA I write queries like this...

CREATE TABLE APPS.TABLE_NAME
(
COUNT NUMBER,
"FROM" VARCHAR2 (50),
"WHERE" VARCHAR2 (50),
"AND" VARCHAR2 (50),
"OR" VARCHAR2 (50)
)
/

SELECT "FROM", "WHERE", "COUNT"
FROM table_name
WHERE "FROM" NOT LIKE 'where'
AND "WHERE" NOT LIKE 'from'
AND "AND" IS NOT NULL

# ¿ Jan 6, 2015 22:08

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Gounads posted:

If you schedule a recurring lunch meeting, you better be supplying lunch.

Lunch means freedom from tyranny. There isn't a good enough free lunch to replace that.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 22:32

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Dick Trauma posted:

Definitely one of those chaotic situations where I'll have to bring I.T. law to the lawless, but I have years of experience doing that.

How's that worked out for you so far?

# ¿ Feb 9, 2015 04:00

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Collateral Damage posted:

Usually I just hang up on them. If I'm in a good mood I'll tell them to hang on and I'll let them talk to a manager, then forward their call to a fax line or the time of day service.

I got a call from a guy selling cables, I pretended he wanted to buy cables from me, and kept telling him I didn't sell cables. When he finally got a word in and told me he was selling cables, I asked if that was true, why did he want to buy cables from me? He finally got frustrated and hung up; I never heard from him again.

Depending on my mood and time, I have told SAP/Oracle vendors that we don't use a database - Microsoft Word best for us, it's very easy to search. I will pretend they are a computer help desk calling me and begin to detail how slow my email/internet is, and ask for solutions.

Being purposefully obtuse has always worked best for me.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2015 16:04

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Simpleboo posted:

Production database went down around 6PM yesterday with bad sectors making it unrecoverable. Oracle support not 24x7 for us and we have to restore from a backup done 2am yesterday soooo I'm at 19 hours of work in the last two days!

Edit: Apparently this was all caused by a two second blink in the connection between a server and array which we have no explanation for.

I lost a 2tb db because the SAN that had redo was not on a UPS, Oracle 8i. At the time we only did level 0 backups on Monday mornings - it took 20 some hours to apply archive logs to recover to 1 minute before the outage.

You are in archivelogmode right?

# ¿ Dec 9, 2015 16:57

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Simpleboo posted:

This isn't Oracle DB, it's progress/OpenEdge. Along with how our head dev (before she quit and tried to take source code with her) programmed entries into tables it has created a lot of giant time gaps where we are sitting watching a program try and recover blocks. Had to resolve open transactions at the time of crash, try and fix the database, when failing that restore from backup. Nightmare.

Oh, I'd though you were waiting on Oracle support so I assumed it was an Oracle DB. It sounds nightmarish.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2015 23:35

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Bob Morales posted:

It's unique per customer like nielsm said.

Ya, a "normal" system would handle this by making the order id (which should be unique) and the customer PO (which can be anything) the driving key. So that no matter what fuckery the customer uses for their PO, the order id keeps it unique in the home system. Tieing the PO to customer id alone is a recipe for trouble without having control over the customer's PO generation "method".

Good luck Bob.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 15:35

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

ConfusedUs posted:

NEW TP POOL REGULATIONS

<words>

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that read Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suites.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 21:25

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

flosofl posted:

While Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits is a fun and good book, I'm fairly certain the TP POOL memo is from Snow Crash

Well gently caress me, I read them both back to back about 2 months ago and totally mis-identified the quote.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2016 04:07

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Sirotan posted:

We all know its true.

This also works with Kissinger - who is still not dead!

# ¿ Jun 2, 2016 20:02

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

well why not posted:

Because work is a team job, I'm not the manager, but when we all rely on each other to finish work - and it's often late - I reserve the right to care about what others do.

I never want to work around you.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2016 14:09

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

ratbert90 posted:

LOL@Non-French Press drinkers.
Double LOL if you French Press without a Burr grinder.

LOL@Non-Vacpot coffee drinkers. Keep it 100 yo.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2016 19:36

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Captainsalami posted:

Angry people use words they probably don't use in general conversation in a thread for posting about what pisses you off? Perhaps they're mad about something. Maybe.

When did this turn in to imgur. Just like using racial slurs when you're angry, it's still wrong to denigrate a bunch of people.

Pissing me off - the company HQ would like to move all the 'data' to thier data center, on the east coast. This includes a 10tb ERP database and around 10tb of various art files. Currently they are complaining about the cost of 10mb MPLS circuit between our locations. :iiam:

# ¿ Aug 18, 2016 21:03

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Thanks Ants posted:

I'm assuming they still need access to the database

Oh, ya, manufacturing, artists, planners etc will not be moving of course.

This can be done, but it is going to cost money out the rear end. I think I can have a 'san vendor' come in, replicate the data - overnight it, and then resume replication - once the sync up is done, flip it to the remote storage. But they need storage, they need the bandwidth, and the likely need the db server moved also. (and a server - I'm running the db on an IBM 850+ using 4 of what IBM call's CPUs. Oh, and licensing.

I learned long ago never to say no, just start presenting budgets and let them come up with the 'no'.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2016 22:06

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Fudge posted:

People who are willing to use FileMaker for anything are figuratively retarded and literally the worst.

Wellllll, of course, everyone knows you should be using 4D.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 15:47

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Jerk McJerkface posted:

But I absolutely love this job and who I work with at my salary is great and we are growing and it's all roses for now.

The mofo's in this thread are insane. The vocal ones have never had a job that worked, have always been poo poo on, and cannot work well with others. I think you handled this exactly right. But you don't need me to tell you this.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2016 14:41

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

OWLS! posted:

Triggerd. Whoever thought that whitespace should matter in a programming language was high on something not good.

Triggered because I worked with Cobol in the 90s.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2016 21:15

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Bob Morales posted:

I have zero loving tolerance for cold-calling.

I do one of two things - I answer with "hello <pause until they speak> you have reached porktree, I am unable to take your call please leave a message after the tone", then I make a beeeeeep sound (which is obviously not automated). AS soon as they start to talk (if they haven't hung up) I say, "If you are done recording your message press the pound key, thanks - beeeeeep" and hang up. I'm down to about 3-4 cold calls a day.

The other thing is to pretend I'm a user and they are the help desk, I tell them my browser is slow, netflix won't load, and ignore absolutely everything they say. I keep this going until they hang up. Good times.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2016 17:04

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

negromancer posted:

Pissing me off:

My degradation of bash scripting skills.

Somehow I can't remember how to plug in CLI arguments into an array in the script.

for i in {$1..$2}

does not work, as it evaluates the variables literally.

I'm sure the answer is hilariously simple but I was up working til 5am because dumb.

I use shift to cycle the arguments;

code:

while [ $# -ne 0 ]
  do 
    <something with $1>
    shift
done

This lets you have a nearly unlimited number of command line arguments, and a variable number of command line arguments.

edit: fixed code quoting crap

porktree fucked around with this message at 17:53 on Dec 27, 2016

# ¿ Dec 27, 2016 17:49

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

bull3964 posted:

All the 'gluten free' labeling is done by 3rd party certification with little government oversight. It holds as much weight as 'low fat' labeling. People with real conditions should be up in arms that their disease is not being treated seriously.

That's mostly wrong - the FDA has too little funding and too few people, but it does oversee and enforce gluten free labeling. There are 2-3 fringe-ish groups that also have their own stamps. The FDA started it's involvement in 2014 or so.

And there is such a thing as gluten sensitivity - which a lot of people mistakenly call an allergy. Either way, they get sore stomachs when they eat to much grain based food.

And who cares if it lets fad dieters live their fantasy?

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 21:23

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

fishmech posted:

Well no, there really isn't evidence that "gluten sensitivity" exists outside of celiac disease, merely milder cases of celiac disease. And having bad reactions to grains in general would indicate something other than gluten, as there's a decent amount of common grains which do not contain gluten.

I stand corrected - my science is a year behind current research.

xzzy posted:

Because there's no research at all backing up whether it actually improves health, but people are treating it like it's going to fix a bunch of stuff after reading about it on some crank anti-vax blog.

We know that it's a less healthy diet likely do the opposite of what the faddists claim. I think its a false equivalency to compare it to the unpersuadables spouting the anti-vax non-sense but I don't see how it harms me other than 'argh people are believing wrongly'.

Derail canceled.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 22:14

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Picardy Beet posted:

Wont piss me off for long anymore : catastrophically bad external SQL queries

By catastrophically I mean 300 000 000
logical reads for. 4 000 processed rows. This was making the production db crawl to its knees sometimes but as the server is a beast, it was generally quickly answered.
So, the loving query wasn't the culprit. Nope. It was. Dynamics Ax fault if the query was sluggish. Or the Db server fault. The facts that two predicates were on non indexed columns, that they were not correctly sorted in regards to the few indexes who could have limited the impact were nothing.
I am just an Ax developer, (with a very solid formation and experience on Oracle and MS database), but what do I know? I 'm not writing fancy Clojure.
It took three loving months for the rear end in a top hat responsible to concede that maybe, the query should be modified.
And because one of the column were getting killed in production as it was just totally useless
So, me and another Ax dev have now to correct the worst clusterfuck of bad SQL queries I've seen . Because you can be able to write in Clojure but not know how to make a correct inner join.
Fun fact : I studied lisp a long time ago, nothing in this Clojure code doesn't impress me at all.

How does that poo poo pass code review

(rhetorical) - Y'all need a DBA, or someone that can read a tkprof and explain plan.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 15:54

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

meanieface posted:

Through some seriously manipulative bullshit, my chances of sliding off the team I'm on into another have been canned.

My boss also told me that I'm "too bitchy" to be promoted to a technical lead role. Ever. And that my technical skills are above a senior level.

But I should push back more when I'm given more work than can be done in the scope provided.

In related news, I have PMs, references, and shower--anyone know someone that's hiring a non-senior data Scientist / data analyst?

If you're a woman that's some straight up discrimination using not very good code words. I know that it's not always realistic to go to HR on something like this or even lawyer up. Getting the gently caress out of there is a good move.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2017 19:31

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

ptier posted:

Yes POWER7. It's not so much that it is "old" in the sense of ancient, but that it is the only system in our entire datacenter that is PowerPC / POWER based. It also is the only system that is running baremetal in a non-VM environment, on non-redundant hardware. ANNNNNNND the boot drive was not mirrored / nor monitored, thanks /var/log for filling up / and breaking LDAP. It is now. Whereas we have this nice shiny X86 VMWare environment that is FULLY SUPPORTED by our ERP vendor ready to rock and roll.

So poo poo rear end just because it is the special snowflake that if it died creates a defcon 1 situation and is the least redundant.

None of this is a hardwarne or os issue. Or. Do you even AIX?

# ¿ May 20, 2017 03:12

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Judge Schnoopy posted:

No if I didn't answer she would deduct a vacation day from my accrual pool.

I could take vacation forever as long as I answered a call every day

That's the law in the US - if you are salaried and do work (answering even a email is considered work) then technically you cannot be charged for PTO/Vacation. Getting your company to follow this might by a Sisyphean task. We had an HR department here that was adamant about following it, now not so much.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 20:08

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Dick Trauma posted:

I very badly want to stop caring so much about work. It has never served me well, probably because they were at best average jobs with disinterested bosses. It's cost me a lot and gained me nothing. I'm happy to care about other things but I'm weary of the intense emotion I feel when the people at work stick it to me. It's not useful or healthy. I suspect this place will give me more practice before I manage to escape.

Get help now. Self awareness is a great step, but you need more than that to get well. I have followed your travails and as an outside observer you expect (and need?) far more approval and appreciation than you're ever likely to receive. That can be palpable and further distance people. Creating the cycle.

This thread can only support you it cannot fix you. I can ramble about how unhealthy it is to tie your work and your self-worth together, but it's easy to hand out advice and much harder to take it. I have been there - you can be happy in life and have a lovely job because the job is just there so that you can have a happy life.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 16:12

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

The Fool posted:

Turn on PowerPivot, if you're not using it already.

[good information]

This is all in Excel 2016. No idea where/if the options exist in other versions of Excel.

This is a great write-up. Even if 22 Eargesplitten can't use it, I'm saving it for myself.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 21:43

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Humphreys posted:

Welp, the boss came out and told us all he is selling the company. This is the boss that a few months ago had a meeting telling everyone "you all probably notice the tension between myself and the family, all I can say is I really hosed up and am sorry". Guessing he cheated on his wife. He has already sold a number of his sports cars.

I think I saw this on a Lifetime movie already. Are you sure the wife's trainer isn't behind the whole fiasco?

# ¿ Aug 14, 2017 20:01

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Dick Trauma posted:

He's a survivor, like Tony.

You go be a survivor too. Have fun flying a quadcopter and eating a free lunch. Work is not the goal, it is the means.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 21:48

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

Feh, I do it too, because there's a very good chance that this meeting I'm sitting in isn't the most important, or even the only, thing I am doing right now.

If I didn't have it on loud, how am I supposed to leave the meeting for an important call that I've scripted the server to call me about 15 minutes into the meeting.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2017 16:35

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Judge Schnoopy posted:

I get two calls a day from cold call centers offering to email me some whitepaper or service offer or informational industry survey. My organization won't let me take my name, email, and phone off of the website even though I don't take communication from the public. I'm getting increasingly rude because no matter how many times I request to be removed from their list they keep calling.

I think next week I might set up a call park line with that conference call . Biz audio as the hold music and let them sit in limbo for eternity.

I will gift you with the secret. I do one of two things:

1 - Tell them I work in the mail room and deliver mail, then give them the mail room managers name and number, telling them that he is a real dick, and will probably deny working in IT entirely.

2 - I pretend like they are the help desk and are calling be because my printer doesn't work, the internet is slow and I cannot browse certain websites. I am relentless in my ignorance and insistence that they fix my IT issues now.

I still get two calls a day but they are to be enjoyed now.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2017 17:26

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

At great expense we just upgraded our phone system to Avaya (500 handsets). It's been pretty smooth and working for 2 weeks now. However, and go the directory, you get a nice southern voice asking 'the first few digits of the last name' - then, to top it off it lists the phone numbers of the matching names...

1 4567
2 4899
3 4532

And asks you to pick the number of the number you wish to call...

# ¿ Feb 13, 2018 22:19

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Thanatosian posted:

DT, start using your work hours to look for a new job.

That won�t work, every where DT goes people are lovely to him and are bad at their jobs. There must be a common element...

# ¿ Feb 15, 2018 02:24

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Virigoth posted:

I'm just getting into the Islay's and I hate all of you because this is expensive.

Ardberg FTW. Wonderfully peaty, and on the cheap side.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 16:32

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

22 Eargesplitten posted:

I went to the taproom a couple weeks ago and got Clutch barrel aged on tap My friend was going to buy a growler of it, but I�m guessing it was too expensive. You also don�t tip at the taproom since the company is employee-owned.

I honestly don�t get a ton of New Belgium stuff. Their Voodoo Ranger IPAs are pretty good, their 1554 and Snow Day are/were good, but they don�t really make much of what I like and I tend to get stuff that�s on sale. There�s a liquor store just outside of town that usually has decent stuff for $5-7 per six pack.

I lost track of how many breweries are around here, something like 15-20.

You ever make it to the Loveland Alehouse? They have a coconut porter that is the best beer I think I�ve ever had.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2018 18:24

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Bob Morales posted:

"Can you check if Todd in Accounting has a mail drive installed? He is complaining that Outlook is slow"

Yes, Todd has a mail drive installed already.

CRICKETS IN THE TICKET

Our o365/Exchange admin's last day is Friday. I am opening sooooo many tickets about the mail drive, and telling everyone he always fixed it.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2019 17:03

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 03:51

porktree: Mar 23, 2002; You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

totalnewbie posted:

What is the general policy for software that's free for personal use and requires a paid license for business use but you use it only for personal stuff but using company laptop?

In this case, it's specifically dropbox - and I know the general IT rule should be don't use dropbox or similar stuff because it's a potential security threat - but what about just from the licensing perspective?

This'd be a SOX violation where I work - if you are part of the domain and get regularly scanned, and don't control the results you would be in trouble. On the licensing I think you're fine.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2019 20:35

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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