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tenniseveryone
Feb 8, 2014


In like Flint.

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Starter Wiggin
Feb 1, 2009

Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?


In.

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


Tentatively in depending on the submission deadline?

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning


Not another flash rule but if any of you write boring stories I'll be very annoyed.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


In.

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


Actually, I'm just going to assume that I won't be too busy to make the submission deadline, so I'm in for reals.

If any of you newbies are interested, I will collaborate with whoever PMs me the best idea in less than 50 words between now and when I get home this evening.

EDIT: my collaboration partner has been selected!

Fanky Malloons fucked around with this message at Feb 26, 2014 around 03:15

angel opportunity
Sep 7, 2004

Total Eclipse of the Heart

I have edited the prompt post with anonymous submission instructions. Please remember not to post your story into the thread. If you do, you will be DQed.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


Alright newbies. It's time to collaboratively lose our minds. I have PMs and I'm on IRC.

IN

Baudolino
Apr 1, 2010

THUNDERDOME LOSER

In.

Baudolino fucked around with this message at Feb 25, 2014 around 18:36

Erogenous Beef
Dec 20, 2006

i know the filthy secrets of your heart


God Over Djinn posted:

Oh, look at that, you've read a book. Very impressive.

I accept, gleefully.

(Judge: I need a bit of extra time, since I'm going to be traveling from Feb. 28 to March 4.)

Sebmodjinn Brawl

Two accomplished veterans of the very short form, eh? Let's see how well your skills scale to something longer. 1000 words minimum.

In TD, it's common for our stories to open and then close immediately upon reaching a big character-development moment. We end on the twist. It's a good formula, but let's expand upon it.

I want you to extend the TD story arc. Write a good, gripping plot of at least three major beats: Include not only an inciting incident and a resolution, but a major event in the middle which substantially alters the course and direction of the story's action. Needless to say, it must still connect with the opening and concluding events.

Theme your story around this quote:

quote:

Art and mass entertainment and propaganda, they can all be plotted on the same graph, but there is a difference.

No madcap restrictions this time around. Go forth and conquer.

Deadline: March 11th, Noon, GMT+0
Wordcount: 1000+ words. No upper bound. Use as many as you need, no more.

Erogenous Beef fucked around with this message at Feb 25, 2014 around 18:40

JonasSalk
May 27, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

550 words into my piece so I know I'll be back next week. Nothing like the threat of losing ten bucks to keep a jobless, starving writer writing.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

I am in.

curlingiron
Dec 15, 2006

Adventure Awaits!


Fun Shoe

In!

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

Did you FAIL THUNDERDOME Entenzahn? Don't worry, here's an example on how to write!

In.

Nikaer Drekin
Oct 11, 2012


Sute, I'll be in, this sounds like a neat twist! I'll probably be on IRC later tonight, but if anyone wants to contact me before that my email is nikaerd at gmail.

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

In. I've got a couple of wins and hms under my belt so any potential collaborators of the newb persuasion drop me a line at my sa username at gmail. First come, first served. NZ timezone.

Edit: they came, they were served.

Fumblemouse fucked around with this message at Feb 25, 2014 around 22:46

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

systran posted:

Week 82: Captain Thunderdome

Judges: systran, SaddestRhino, and sebmojo if he wants to

I do.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?


I'm in. First time, so I'd rather fly solo. I have a decent idea or three, and a few terrible ones. There are so many three legged things and [adjective] cocks that erotica is calling out.

Don't worry. They are the terrible ideas.

elfdude
Jan 23, 2014

Mad Scientist

In.

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


I'd go for a collaboration if anyone is interested, pending the story idea. I've got a decent solo idea but would love to take advantage of the interesting part of the prompt and do a group thing. I'm EST if that's a thing that matters.

a new study bible! fucked around with this message at Feb 25, 2014 around 21:14

Lake Jucas
Feb 20, 2011


In.

elfdude
Jan 23, 2014

Mad Scientist

CRIT ME BEEF

The News at 5 posted:

Here is my set: http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/6520_Mobile_Outpost

---------------

Snowblind
735 words

“Branniger!” shouted Captain Ross as he slammed his hand on the dashboard, the gas gauge bouncing slightly off the “E” So they do have fuel or they don't? If the gas gauge is that sensitive is the gas gauge broken? where it was rested.The hook is fairly well established here, the two clauses here don't seem to go well together Scooter snapped out of his daze.

“You calling for me, Captain?” Who's speaking? and why?

“No, not you, Scooter. Branniger. He’s done this to us.” Scooter stared blankly. Captain Ross sighed. I wasn't confused that branniger was who the captain was talking about but rather why scooter thought he was being talked to, apparently scooter is empty headed?

“Branniger,” he reminded the rookie, “is the gas tech back at the base. He told me fourteen times that we had plenty of fuel to get us to the Blocky Mountains and back. Now-“ Info dump. We can understand what happened and why this is important if you explain the consequences of the actions instead, in this format we have to guess that the consequences are what is implied from the info dump he waved his hand towards the gas gauge. Scooter’s face fell, How did his face fall? Did it fall off? Last I checked expressions weren't binary up and down, this doesn't make sense to me but perhaps it does to you and he looked forlornly out the window into the screaming blizzard. fornlornly is an odd word choice, did you mean sullenly? Also why is he hopeless? This is why describing the consequences would have been better than the info dump He couldn’t see more than three or four feet beyond their small truck, even to the mobile outpost they were dragging a mere seven feet behind them. They hadn’t seen the sun in three days. the description here is a bit exacting and draws attention to things which don't seem to be at all important, if they're near an outpost that is mobile too why does the gas gauge matter? You could have left it at a blizzard outside

“I just don’t understand,” said the Captain, shaking his head. He's not the only one but I suspect for different reasons. “That man is…was my best friend. I danced the robot at his wedding. Why would he have lied?It's not clear that he lied at all, is that supposed to be a plot point? We’ll have to try and radio for help.” The captain seems to be narrating here not talking

“Won’t be much good through this weather, Captain. It seems odd that the character you made to look dumb before has information the captain doesn't, such as the ineffectiveness of the radio. Why is a blizzard blocking the radio? Besides, the radio’s back in the outpost and we can’t get there on account of the...the…” Wasn't the outpost seven feet away? Ross’ gaze followed Scooter’s. On the farthest end of their field of vision, something moved against the rapidly falling snow. So the blizzard is over? Because they can only see 4 feet right? It was advancing slowly, carefully. Its white fur was almost imperceptible among the vast Arctic landscape. How are they seeing something white in contrast to something white?Much less when they can only see 4 feet

“The bear,” Captain Ross growled. It had become their traveling curse, coming in with the blizzard and sticking as closely to them as the snow on their windshield did. Ok, so the seven feet thing makes sense, I wouldn't be going outside with a polar bear outside and it makes sense that they would assume it was outside although I think them seeing it from a distance was unlikely Any attempt to exit the truck and reach the outpost was met with a furious roar, and a white shadow barreling toward them. Shadows aren't white, you could explore the mysterious nature of the bear's white fur being invisible in the snow Unknown miles behind them, Scooter’s scooter lay in the gathering snow, covered in claw marks, treads shredded by sharpened teeth. Captain Ross put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Why is this important? I mean it seems to tell us that the bear is aggressive but you're drawing focus away from the characters to something which has happened presumably offscreen and you're doing it after you've already clarified the danger, seems redundant and pointless. It might have been good to start the story off pointing out a broken scooter and everything which followed would have made far more sense, instead we're left questioning the entire set up and it's much harder for us to return to the beginning of the story and fix every assumption we were forced to make because reactions happened without our knowledge of the precipitating event

“I’m out of ideas. I hate to say it, but I think this may be it.” Scooter lowered his head into his hands. Captain Ross assumed he was crying. Ok, it's an interesting assumption but what does he do with it? Instead, Scooter’s face shot up, a light from behind his eyes beaming like the sun they longed to see. The senetence is written oddly again, perhaps beamed would be a better word to use here

“I’ve got an idea.” Before Captain Ross could react, Scooter threw open the door and ran as fast as he could to the outpost. Great, did he realize it was seven feet away too? Captain Ross was too stunned to react. Scooter kicked open the door of the mobile outpost and hauled a grey box into the storm. He furiously pulled out piece after piece, assembling some, throwing others aside. Captain Ross could make out the white form of the bear growing larger, and quickly. They can't see the bear!

“Scooter, whatever it is, there’s no time!” The creature’s roar seemed to shake the ground.

“I can do it Captain! I’m almost done; I just need one last piece. Ok, if the blizzard is so bad they can't see the mobile outpost seven feet away then by the time they can see the bear it's already too late Where is it?” His voice grew frantic. Again your reaction is happening before the event that causes it, we're left wondering what he's looking for “I can never find the piece I’m looking for. This should be explained before he reacts, I thought he was talking about the bear I know it’s in here! I saw like twelve the other day!” The bear was almost on him now. Ross could see its black eyes. The snow is suddenly irrelevant at this part int he story I suppose He leapt out and ran to Scooter, hoping to reach him before the bear did. The beast’s jaws opened wide. The pacing on this action sequence is problematic.

“Got it!” Scooter shouted, holding the final piece briefly over his head before snapping it into place. Ross finally saw it for what it was. I feel like you're misusing tenses a lot here, holding should be and held, the second part would work better if it was written, Finally, Ross saw it for what it was.

“A saddle?” Who's talking here? Does the bear talk? Is their radio working?

Scooter whipped around, now face to face with the bear. The bear's jaws wide open should be here not two paragraphs before He leapt Poor word choice, you just used leapt, use jumped or rolled or something else out of the way just in time, slipping a makeshift bridle into its’ roaring jaws. Bears attack with their claws, did he just superhumanly weave between two paws and the mouth to place a bridle in the bear's mouth He pulled himself and the saddle on top, and rode the monster with everything he had in him. Tense seems off again and rode should be riding in this case The grip of his yellow, claw-like hand never faulted, He has a claw for a hand? Oh, this must be a reference to the lego, seems an odd thing to draw attention to at this point and for three entire minutes he stayed on, seems like a poor word choice, held tight perhaps? despite every effort of the bear to claw, bite, and toss him off. The order of this sentence is backwards, despite every effort should be at the start of the sentence IMO The exhausted beast collapsed in the snow. Bears can swim 50 miles in the ocean, why would three minutes of a man weighing 1/10th the bear tire it out? I don't think I'd notice a twenty pound backpack much at all Scooter stroked its head. Bears can also lick their shoulder blades so... why didn't the bear just eat him?

“Its okay, Captain. I think we’ve found a friend. I’m going to name him Snowcone.” Wow. Why doesn't everyone tame a bear? Captain Ross approached cautiously, but Snowcone didn’t stir at his presence. I think removing but and changing it to a period would build more tension Ross slipped on the saddle Is it icy or something? and locked his hands in place around Scooter’s middle. With a mighty “Hee-ya!” and a hard kick, the bear was up and running. I thought it was exhausted?

“They’ll sure be surprised to see us!” Scooter shouted to his commanding officer. A sly smile spread across the Captain’s face. So they can navigate back to base in a blizzard? It should be noted most bears bury themselves in the snow durring blizzards in the arctic

“Especially Branniger,” he laughed as the two and their mount rode off into the snowstorm. Didn't his best friend lie to him for some unknown reason?

Overall the story conveyed the legoness of the situation well but the bear seems unconvincing, the action is poorly performed and the writing is clunky, I feel like I used my own imagination more than I should have and several times I found myself wrong in the assumptions I had made which meant I had to reorder the entire story to get a sense of what was happening and why

CRIT ME BEEF:

Hey could you explain a bit of the crit to me with a line by line, I'm not sure how certain implications were even present in the story which makes understanding that I handled them badly problematic. If you could take a moment to explain where your perceptions entered in. *Note I'm not saying your perceptions were wrong but rather I'm curious how one came away with those.

ex: Your character doesn't make a choice, the precipitating choice was to kill the creditors
ex: Reversal of fortune, there is no reversal of fortune, the character is attempting to justify his actions throughout the story, he loses that justification in the end
ex: The hey, you're not on the hook after all, not only is the character still on the hook the realization is that his justification is not only hollow but now he has reason to want to care, i.e. his family house, a treasure to him is still his
ex: Comedy aspect, what? There is no comedy aspect to the story.
ex: You mention 'for some reason' is telling, this is referring implicitly to the guilt associated with his actions and his attempts at justifying them

elfdude fucked around with this message at Feb 25, 2014 around 22:08

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003


In with

Jay O
Oct 9, 2012

being a zombie's not so bad
once you get used to it

Yay, monsters!

In.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

elfdude posted:

Hey could you explain a bit of the crit to me

Haha no. Don't respond to crits here; take it to fiction farm.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


Hello new thread, new people. My name is Bad Seafood.

Just a friendly reminder that while I will be responsible for collecting and compiling your terrible submissions for the week, I am not responsible for your terrible life choices and formatting decisions. Whatever crops up in my inbox is getting Ctrl+C'd, Ctrl+V'd straight into Google Docs as is, so please think on this before you send me your entire story as one lump sum paragraph without line breaks.

Quidthulhu
Dec 17, 2003

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!


In!

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE


Fuckin' in.

Anathema Device
Dec 22, 2009

by Ion Helmet


In. If you want to collaborate, PM me.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


In. I need more reason to write.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

FreudianSlippers posted:

The Effects of Morhpine
25 words.

I awoke a white room feeling numb. Trying to esacpe I threw the sheet and realized that I had no right leg and remembered why.

A little late with this, but since it's 50% crit, and needed to be done, here it is:

Morhpine (25 words)

Thorned limbs loomed, scarred with abused typography.

"A painkiller?" FreudianSlippers cried plaintively.

"No proofreading, no mercy."

The stone-faced Lexomancer hoisted him high upon the Morhpine.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


GLORIOUS CRITS

Erogenous Beef
Dec 20, 2006

i know the filthy secrets of your heart


elfdude posted:

CRIT ME BEEF

You asked one question which is of general relevance to anyone who got the "boring plot/nothing happens" criticism this week:

quote:

ex: Your character doesn't make a choice, the precipitating choice was to kill the creditors

Your character makes no significant choices during the story itself.

On both a macro- and micro-level, a plot follows a “tick-tock” structure.

At the macro-level, a character encounters an obstacle or problem and grapples with it. Presenting and developing this is the “tick”. Ultimately, the character is faced with a choice of how to resolve the problem. In choosing, the character develops. This is the “resolution” phase, the “tock”.

At the micro-level, characters encounter stimuli (tick) and respond to said stimuli (tock). This is often called a motivation-reaction unit (MRU). At its simplest, the formula is to present a stimulus or motivation (e.g. a tiger jumps out of the bushes! a beautiful woman smiles from the bar!) and then present the reaction (e.g. character shoots the tiger! character approaches and buys the woman a drink!). In both cases, the reaction precipitates a further event which deepens the plot and presents a new problem for the character (e.g. the dead tiger rolls over, revealing cubs, oh no! the woman is actually his mother, how embarrassing!).

Your story consisted of a lot of “character does something, thinks about it, does something else, thinks about it.” It's a bunch of actions, but those actions are not acting against any apparent Character Problem. The struggle against a Character Problem is a plot. The interplay of stimuli (smaller Problems) and responses is how character is revealed: it's the proper definition of "showing."

A string of actions, sans problems, interspersed with the thinking with description of the surroundings gets very dull, very fast.

--

I've answered the rest of your questions and supplied an exhaustive inline crit here. Click on a highlighted phrase and the attached comment should appear, emphasized, on the right.

If you want to discuss this further (which I discourage - if you have to rebut/explain something, you've usually done something wrong), the Fiction Farm is the appropriate venue.

angel opportunity
Sep 7, 2004

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Two people have asked this now:

You may only have involvement in ONE story. You cannot submit a solo story and take part in a collaboration. It's either one or the other. You cannot take part in multiple collaborations either.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

Did you FAIL THUNDERDOME Entenzahn? Don't worry, here's an example on how to write!

CRIT ME BEEF you sexy luchadore

I picked Paladinus since he keeps coming back for more. I like the cut of his jib.

Paladinus posted:

Historia de un fracaso
(495 words)

My Lego set: http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/3713_Gab...nd_His_Drum_Set
Flash rule: Guevaran revolutionaries.



Rolando and Gabriel enter another village on this especially hot day in Zaire. Rolando sings in a language he still does not speak, but the song manages to attract children, women and the old. A man with a trained monkey is here to entertain them This is a very clumsy attempt at being subtle/smart about your storytelling. I'm not sure if "them" includes Gabriel & Rolando. I don't know yet that Gabriel is a monkey, so I'm confused. It also takes me out of the action since you don't describe what happens, but what is. Seriously, I hate these eleven words so much while they’re waiting for their fathers, husbands and sons to come back from a hunt. If Gabriel’s performance is good, he and his human comrade Now I understand the previous sentence, but that's too late. Be more upfront about the species of your protagonist please can hope for just enough fruits and water to get to the next village. That’s how it was for several years now. I don't hate this first paragraph. I get an idea of where and when we are and what the stakes are, so good job on that. The POV is unfocused: I don't know if this is a story about Gabriel or Rolando or both. You try to be subtle, but you're just being obtuse. It's a story, not a jigsaw puzzle.

WhenONCE THE villagers are all satSEATED and silent, Rolando gives Gabriel his drum and stands a stick with a cymbal on it. The drum is for drumsticks Uhhh... uh? and the cymbal’s for the tail. Gabriel waits for a sign from his human comrade to start playing the only song he knows. Waiting is not very interesting and in this case pointless, since nothing happens during the wait. You just use it as queue for an infodump. Instead, let the monkey start the song and then move to your exposition if you have to (you don't)

It’s a song from home brought to this country along with ideas that Gabriel could not comprehend. Okay, so I guess we're not in the POV of the monkey anymore, or the monkey is thinking about how there are ideas that he doesn't understand or what is going on Maybe even Rolando doesn’t fully understand them now, but there was a time when he was sure those ideas were worth dying for. What the gently caress are you talking about That’s why he and almost a hundred of others traveled through the great sea to get here and took Gabriel to remind them of their homeland. Hey guys, here's some exposition, except I'm only hinting at stuff, I'm not writing for any dumbo you see.

Rolando waves his hand which means it’s time to start the show. Gabriel takes out two drumsticks from THE! THE!!!!! pockets of his red uniform and hits the cymbal with his long tail following it with ,FOLLOWED BY a short drum roll. Now it’s four fast hits on the drum and two slow ones on the cymbal. Okay so I guess it can be officially established that Gabriel is the POV character now since you're reproducing his thought process as he remembers the pattern of the song. Which is okay, but don't milk it, it's not that great.

He’s learned this rhythm long ago, when other human comrades were still around. Oh boy, more exposition! He used to play this beat whenever they set up a camp. Some people would smile, some people would cry, but all would sing in perfect unison.

Aprendimos a quererte
desde la histórica altura
donde el Sol de tu bravura
le puso cerco a la muerte...
Ich spreche diese Sprache nicht, darum kann ich mit dieser Passage nicht viel anfangen.

But now instead of words Gabriel can only hear people’s laughter. He looks at this faceless crowd in search of support from his only human comrade. But Rolando pays no attention as PERIOD HERE - you're rambling a lot, mix up your sentence length he’s too busy begging for food. It feels as if the merciless Sun itself mocks Gabriel with its hot smile.That's not a good way to say 'It is hot'. Show us how Gabriel's body reacts to the heat if you want to set that up.

Suddenly Gabriel’s heart starts pounding faster and faster. NO! Bad Paladinus! Again, show us how the heat affects the monkey's body. Build it up. Then, describe the heart attack. Don't go "It's very hot. Suddenly he starts having a heart attack!!!" In fact, don't use "suddenly" and don't use "starts to". They are poo poo words and should be used with extreme caution. P.S. I hate this sentence more than the thing from before First it beats along the rhythm and few seconds later it beats as fast as metal comrade Kalashnikov used to spit out fire both at enemies and Gabriel’s comrades. This sentence can be cut. Also, "comrade Kalashnikov"? Seriously? The rhythm becomes erratic and people jeer even louder Oh, I didn't know people had started jeering in the first place. Last time I checked they were still laughing, as in they were entertained and start throwing small stones and dirt at Gabriel.Wow, mean The beat gets slower and slower until it stops. So does Gabriel’s heart. The last two sentences are pretty good, but the rest of this paragraph needs to suddenly start dying in a fire.

‘Lo siento, camarada. Saluda a Comandante de mi parte, por favor,’ Gesundheit says Rolando quietly you know that there are words for "saying quietly"? when Gabriel seeminglyIf you say this, you make it sound like Gabriel is faking it, which he isn't. I know, because I read the end and I was disappointed when the monkey stayed dead. Wait a second, is the monkey still the POV character? is no longer breathing.

With people still laughing HAHA A DEAD MONKEY he takes the basket with food, puts the drum and the cymbal on top of it and leaves the village as he once left his comrades in a battle near Kabinda. Where the gently caress did that come from, also is Roland the POV character now?

Paladinus, I think you can be a competent writer. You know the difference between "it's" and "its", so that's something. You have a few nice ideas here, your beginning isn't horrible and something actually happens in your story. Not only that, it's also an interesting event at it's core (who wouldn't shed a tear for a poor dying monkey).

But you're clumsy. You have serious POV issues. We see Rolando and Gabriel enter the village, then we see how Gabriel percieves his playing a song for food, then we reminisce about how Gabriel and Rolando were part of a guerilla squad, then the monkey dies and Rolando thinks about other stuff again.

Half the time I can't tell what you're on about. It's like you already know what happens in your story, so you try to be clever and build a puzzle around it, but for people who don't have your information it's a chore to figure out what you're saying. There's so much telling and then you don't even use it to just tell us anything.

There's missing words, awkward and clumsy phrases, comma issues. I didn't really see much in the way of typos, so I don't know if you've been lazy or if you just don't know any better. Advice: revise your stories. Read books. Read books about writing. Edit, edit, edit. Read your text aloud. Rephrase sentences that don't flow well. I tried to show you some examples.

I don't like how you incorporated your flashrule. You use it to justify padding your thin story with pointless background info and then you use the background info to go "By the way he totally was a guerilla once, he's not just any guy with a monkey. Also MISSION ACCOMPLISHED".

Positive is that you did tell kind of a story-ish thing. There's characters and stuff happens and you can even tell the time and place and motivation of the protagonists. So here's my suggestion for you: Next week, write a simple story. Don't try to be fancy about it. Describe what happens. Show the story to someone in advance, so they can tell you if they understand what's going on. Don't dance around your plot. And READ MORE.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014





God knows I needed that. Thanks. How everything is a puzzle in my stories comes up a lot in crits, but I just can't stop being a pretentious idiot for some reason. Comes next solo prompt, I promise to run my piece through somebody before posting, because it's getting ridiculous both plot-wise and how horrible I am with the language at times.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

I'm in, and going solo.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning



lambeth
Aug 31, 2009


I'm in. I could use some motivation to start writing again.

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Echo Cian
Jun 16, 2011



In.

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