Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«201 »
  • Locked thread
God Over Djinn
Jan 17, 2005

onwards and upwards


Isn't it precious. (100 words)

Goodness, dear Thunderdome, what have we here?
A teeny wee Mouse with two velvety ears?
And he's raring to fight me, I hear?

Well, what will he do? Will he nip at my toes?
Will he poke me and prod with his cute little nose?
No, he'll cower and cry when this thing comes to blows.
Or at best he'll attempt with some pitiful prose*
as my win record grows.

No.

He'll embarrass himself. Take him back to his house.
This Dome is no place for a wee little Mouse.

---

*I direct any interested parties to investigate his brawl record.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

dmboogie
Oct 4, 2013



A Pox Upon You, Broenheim
88 Words


Good sir, a man of poor moral standing is ill equipped to stand against the pure light of the Sun, and I do say that, if a kindly, elderly women required aid across the street, you would shove her over, steal her purse, and take all of her treasured mints for good measure. You are a villain and a lout, and are thus not fit to be in the same world as a member of Sun, let alone attempt to face one as an equal. You. Shall. Burn.

angel opportunity
Sep 7, 2004

Total Eclipse of the Heart

God Over Djinn posted:

Isn't it precious. (100 words)

Goodness, dear Thunderdome, what have we here?
A teeny wee Mouse with two velvety ears?
And he's raring to fight me, I hear?

Well, what will he do? Will he nip at my toes?
Will he poke me and prod with his cute little nose?
No, he'll cower and cry when this thing comes to blows.
Or at best he'll attempt with some pitiful prose*
as my win record grows.

No.

He'll embarrass himself. Take him back to his house.
This Dome is no place for a wee little Mouse.

---

*I direct any interested parties to investigate his brawl record.

101 Words, disqualified

God Over Djinn
Jan 17, 2005

onwards and upwards


systran posted:

101 Words, disqualified

"---" isn't a word

Thalamas
Dec 5, 2003

Sup?

Heliophobia 77 words

I hope you took your pills this morning, because I wouldn’t want your writing hand to get the shakes. Oh no, not that. What are you afraid of? Team Sun. It’s the inevitable cross of that burning orb in the sky, getting closer every second, until it feels like it’s going to burn right through your eyes, closer, right overhead. Can you feel the shakes coming?

Well, I have three words for you: welcome to summer.

Nikaer Drekin
Oct 11, 2012


Ode to Noah
69 WORDZ!!!!!!

Noah.

Your stories blow-ah.

You're certainly no Thoreau-ah.

You've got the literary talent of a protozo-ah,

Plus the general incompetence of Inspector Clouseau-ah.

Who'll win our brawl? I think you know-ah.

If you've got any sense, you'll be a no-show-ah.

(That is, if you value your massive ego-ah.)

'Cause I'm gonna make you eat crow-ah...

When I kick your teeny tiny little baby bitch teeth in.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

aka sticklegs



Grimey Drawer

DuckyB posted:

+87 words


Mercedes posted:

+43 words


Meinberg posted:

+79 words


Ironic Twist posted:

that's murder

+100 words


Broenheim posted:

you're not supposed to give your opponent hope!

+81 words






God Over Djinn posted:

+100 words
-1 word because systran said so
Total: +99 words


dmboogie posted:

+100 words

Thalamas posted:

Not enough insulting of your actual opponent.

+59 words


Nikaer Drekin posted:

you are bad at rhyming.

+72 words

Grizzled Patriarch
Mar 27, 2014

These dentures won't stop me from tearing out jugulars in Thunderdome.




Stopping by the Burn Ward on a Snowy Evening (An Ode to Ironic Twist) (27 words)

If losing is your main objective
Your words may be finally effective
You’re a malodorous loser
An English language abuser
Though not bad for a mental defective

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk

So,
22 words

Duckyb and guinness, I wish you were better, because beating both of you at once isn't gonna mean a lot i guess?

Anomalous Blowout
Feb 13, 2006

I crashed Thunderdome's 6th Birthday and all I got was this av!



The Rentboy Colossus, Or: An Invitation to Both Teams

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our word-washed forum post shall stand
A slinky rentboy with a pen whose fame
Is, for bounty, writing. And his name
Is Mista Blowout. From his keyboard-hand
Spews profane bullshit; sarcastic eyerolls and
A plea to fumbling fuckwits: Have you shame?

"On me mum, yer story's shite!" cries he
and flips the bird. "Give me your bloat, your waste,
Your purply prosey fanfic wankery.
The wretched refuse of your team is crap.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
Chuck these, the brainless spawn of misery
In the recycle bin, and I will be your chap!"

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013





Pineapple Piss
(100 words)

i'm no pen-prose master crafter
but a write-kid who's ever seen chapter
could get the kind of poo poo i'm after

disaster's coming, cover your asses
you've got masses of words
but have you even heard
who i am? i beat echo cian
once. sebmojo's dojo was a no-go
but you homos watch out
cause enten found out
my dick's pineapple delicious

so you word nerds get with this
three-way means business
cause i'm djeser:
tougher than leather
five times more vicious

had nineteen words left. i don’t give a gently caress 'i’m not in' had to call out these dorks Phobia and Gau

Gau
Nov 18, 2003

I don't think you understand, Gau.


Such a Teddy Bear 86 words

I'm glad you found a place with the shittiest Chinese food every, since in actual Chinese it's Gao and I'm not sure what you got. You should prepare to eat a loss, though, because I've been bloodied in a brawl and come out victorious. What have you done, Mr. Bear? Have you seen your own blood spew forth, and come up fighting? Have you accepted the challenge with your life? You are a coward, Mr. Bear, and I won't have you in my Thunderdome.

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Meinberg posted:

On the Matter of WLOTM
(97 words)

We Landed on the Moon can’t write his way out of a paper bag. I know this because I once trapped him in a paper bag, armed only with a pencil. I came back hours later to find that he had passed out from lack of air, and the brain damage he suffered likely informs his current inability to string more than a handful of phrases together in a fashion that is pleasing to the senses. Sorry about that, but you had it coming for your love of Dane Cook.

A Message to Meinberg
100 Words

Meinberg, I am not writing this for extra words, because I don’t need them. I am writing this to warn you.

You may as well just not submit; that’s the safe thing. You won’t embarrass yourself by not submitting, because there is nothing embarrassing about passing on a fight that you won't win. For you, this isn’t about victory or defeat. This is about survival. Is it wrong for a trout to stay under the waterline as a hawk circles overhead? No, it’s smart.

So go on, gather your token phrases; make your outline. They won’t save you. I’m coming.

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

A study in crabrocks
Words: some

What the hell is a crabrock anyway?
Is it like, a crab made of rock?
Or a rock made of crabs?

Actually I am going to write a story about crabrock

Whoa I just discovered something there.

But anyway, once upon a time there was a rock. It was made of crabs, by compressing them together until they turned into oil or something I dunno how crab squishing works, I didn't really think this through, but I think the point I was driving towards is that crabrock is dumb and smells of vinegar.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

The Salute, or a Listing of Praises in Honor of Sitting Here as Based on Her Skill and Talent as a Writer
0 words

Teddybear
May 16, 2009

Look! A Samus doll!
It's soooo cute!


Lipstick Apathy

Tempter -- 83 words

Crabrock, oh crabrock. You posted in the Boston thread and said, "try it, it's fun, you'll be a better writer!" Your siren song drew me in, away from the tacos, cycling, and Moxie to the gnashing of teeth and wailing of men. Like I don't have enough stress in my life with a tumor and poor job prospects and a crippling sense that I am dying alone? Meet me on Lansdowne and let's throw down. Then let's find conquistador and gently caress him up.

Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER



61 words

PootieTang, abandon hope; your therapist may help you cope.
Have you learned your loser count yet? Not so fast, now that amount
Will soon increase. Your clumsy prose is like a vacuum, sucks and blows;
Inept dreck from a gibbering wreck, or mumblings of a stoned redneck.
I may be gracious once I've won; for now, prepare to face the sun.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

On Tyrannosaurus,
65 words

Your gumption is feeble and your styles will amount to nothing. Oh, won a couple domes, have you? What're you gonna do this time, write gritty realism from the perspective of a dog who ~wuvs~ his master, whose story tangentially relates to the prompt? That dog is you, T-rex, and your craft amounts to nothing more than that self-same dog licking his own genitals, forever.

Number 36
Jul 5, 2007

Keep it up, kid! Gimmie a smoochie smooch!

Marquess of Queensberry Rules
50 words

Hello Genetic Toaster. I don’t know anything about you, especially not enough to insult your character. You are a first time Thunderdome participant and statistically are unlikely to win. Based on your recent post history, I assert that you enjoy comic books and video games. Thank you for your time.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Number 36 posted:

Marquess of Queensberry Rules
50 words

Hello Genetic Toaster. I don’t know anything about you, especially not enough to insult your character. You are a first time Thunderdome participant and statistically are unlikely to win. Based on your recent post history, I assert that you enjoy comic books and video games. Thank you for your time.

leekster
Jun 20, 2013


Loser's Bracket-80 words

Commisar no one cares which one of us winds up carried home on their shattered prose. We're losers. We're here to battle, a pox on the teams who feign their care. We aren't the prized wordslingers who patrons come to this thread to praise. We're the jesters with toy swords fighting a pretend war.

Hear me Commisar. Let us battle today. Let us give them something to marvel at. Losertar rattling I will rise. Give me an opponent worth fighting.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


Enten's Choice
100 words

Ock. Is that the sound you make when you realize sebmojo only writes a story after he toxxed himself? One of you even bailed already. At least that narrows down the selection of losertar candidates to thirteen.

Oh wait, I didn’t see you other guys under all that brown. I think the sun isn’t supposed to suck until after it’s imploded. You can wait a week, right? I mean, half your roster collects dishonorable mentions, and Mercedes even does it on purpose.

I’d make my own faction, but some things are bad taste when done to 30 people at once.

DuckyB
Jun 27, 2014

Gentlemen.


Link to Kronus, Birth Your Children, 1178 Words: https://docs.google.com/document/d/...dit?usp=sharing

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

uh hey guys im just gonna leave this week 100 judgepost here please don't hurt me


It was a long (long, long---seriously, how many hours was that one night?) journey, but the briefcase ultimately made it into the right hands. What was inside it? Maybe it was this MASSIVE AMOUNT OF AWESOME poo poo that I am about to lay on y'all.

I've been pretty excited about this judgment. There were so many different metrics for victory this week, so how could we settle on just one winner? That's right, this week we have THREE(3) WINNERS (technically 4, actually, but read on)!

Your votes were taken into account, but I'm gonna be honest, it was mostly just bread and circuses to quiet the masses. I mean would a monarch really do something so populist? Pffft.

Without further adieu:

------------------------------------------




BEST IN SHOW

There is some magical property in the water in New Zealand because we have a buttload of kiwis who forced us to think very hard about who was the complete package this week.

We took votes into account, but ultimately Fumblemouse wins this category, for beautiful writing and a compelling character that really added to the feel of the briefcase saga.

Your reward for helping the briefcase get into the proper hands: $25 dollar gift certificate to Amazon. Now you can say you've been paid for your writing! PM me or hop on IRC to work out the details.

Runners up (HMs) were:

Muffin, for good dialog and good use of Erik and Black Jesus. You're gonna be grumpy about this probably, so I will just tell you here and now that (for me), what kept you from straight up winning was Todd Templeton. Too much of a caricature, even for the somewhat whacky tone of your piece.
Schneider Heim, for well-rounded characters and an overall well-rounded piece.
Sebmojo, for...something. I have no idea. Just kidding, you also had good dialog, and a certain sweetness that was markedly absent from most of this week.





BEST COLLABORATION

This pretty much hands down goes to Djinn and Tyrannosaurus! The briefcase was less important to these two stories, but they fit together really well, in addition to fitting into the continuity. Each writer wrote characters who had distinct voices, yet the two pieces still felt as though they were part of a whole. A good example of how to make PLOT DEVICE/MCGUFFIN move a story along without making it a crutch.

Your reward for helping the briefcase get into the proper hands: Each of you gets 1000 extra words, to be applied as-needed in Thunderdome. You can use these all in one go, or a bit at a time, but you must announce that you are doing so when you do.

There are no HMs in this category because most of the people who we would've awarded them to are already in other categories.





BEST CHARACTER

There were a ton of metrics we could've used to pick the winner in this category. At the end of the day, we had to look at which character was most central to the story of the briefcase, who really was the fulcrum on which events pivoted. And, in the nefarious web that is Los Grano D'oro, Black Jesus, created by Mercedes, was overwhelmingly the most popular character, and the most consistent whenever he appeared. There was concern among the judges about reinforcing another Thunderdome meme, but if a bunch of people want to write about the guy, there's clearly something to him.

So, Merc. You get a win. That's right, a WIN.

Your reward for helping the briefcase get into the proper hands: 5 flash rules, to be used whenever you see fit.

Runner up (HM) in this category was:

QuoProQuid, with Sister Karen Retinger.

------------------------------------------


Well anyway, great week and good jo---oh, losers and DMs? Eh. Fine.


Your loser this week jumped the gun on posting, giving up valuable editing time, and put Goldie deep under the male gaze. Benny! Come on down. Better luck next time, champ.

Posh Alligator, your story made me grumpy. I mean, a comedian making a punchline joke as he's about to kill himself? DISHONORABLE MENTION.

Broenheim, I felt like your characterization of Goldie was like a paint-by-numbers thing. You didn't DO very much with her, just sort of included all the things I wrote about her. I guess it was my bad for making a sultry character, but come on guys. You were saved from the complete ire of the judges because I thought the whole catapult thing was kind of funny. DISHONORABLE MENTION.

Sitting Here fucked around with this message at Jul 13, 2014 around 10:21

Gau
Nov 18, 2003

I don't think you understand, Gau.


Duh-jeez-er? Djay-zer? Who the gently caress knows?

You had better bring your fuckin' A-game to this brawl, you little fucker, because otherwise I am going to disembowel you and you'll have to bleed out as you stare at your own fuckin' guts and the disappointed look on the spectator's faces as I scream ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

God Over Djinn posted:

Isn't it precious. (100 words + some more )


Goodness, dear Thunderdome, what have we here?
It's God Over Djinn with my flow in first gear
A teeny wee Mouse with two velvety ears?
My absolute nightmare, the worst of my fears
And he's raring to fight me, I hear?
I'm so scared I just rhymed 'here' and 'hear'

Well, what will he do? Will he nip at my toes?
And ruin my pedi? Oh woe upon woes!
Will he poke me and prod with his cute little nose?
(Is it getting hot in here, do you suppose?)
No, he'll cower and cry when this thing comes to blows.
And I'll comfort him gently - or so my dream goes
Or at best he'll attempt with some pitiful prose
To save my hurt feelings as my verbiage slows
as my win record grows
close to a close.

No.

He'll embarrass himself. Take him back to his house.
This Dome is no place for a wee little Mouse.

No
I'm dreaming again, take me back to the halls
of off-white with the rooms with the soft rubber walls

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


Sitting Here posted:


Broenheim DISHONORABLE MENTION.

A note on this^, regarding this:

Broenheim posted:

I'M CALLING YOU OUT DMBOOGIE
You’ll win one day
If you can just use the right tense

Fanky Malloons' judging notes on Broehnheim posted:

Ughhhh PICK A TENSE AND STICK WITH IT THIS IS A SIMPLE PROOFREADING THInG JESUS loving CHRISt

That is all.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?




150 words on the magnificence of ducks. You've got five hours maybe. Winner gets to decide my team. If nobody submits I'll join the side I think is winning.

DuckyB
Jun 27, 2014

Gentlemen.


Now this is a prompt I can get behind.

WHY DUCKS KICK ALL THE rear end EVER, 150 words.

Let's just get real: Ducks are loving superheroes.

They swim like a goddamn fish. They catch and devour said fish because actually gently caress that, they swim better. On top of all that, ducks can go from diving to the bottom of a lake straight to flappin' the gently caress out of that noise, at anywhere from anywhere from 50 to 60 miles per hour. Can you go 60 miles per goddamn hour? No. You can't. Because you're not a duck. They're like a submarine and an F-16 had a night of passionate bizarre mechanical love, and then their offspring was more kick-rear end than both of them combined.

They can go just about anywhere. They're omnivores, so they can eat just about anything. When it's time to make a nest, they'll rip their own loving feathers out just for a personal touch. Metal. As. poo poo.

Ducks are loving rad.

Number 36
Jul 5, 2007

Keep it up, kid! Gimmie a smoochie smooch!

Fowlrence of Arabia
================
150 WORDS

The young Arab boy collapsed. His father acted quickly; he took off his bisht and set up a small tent, but the effort was in vain. He knew he would lose his son to the desert: their water had run out this morning, and Cairo was several hours away.

He spotted a distant figure on the horizon. He stood to shout for help, but the figure was already approaching. As the figure crept into view, he saw it was a giant duck riding atop a camel.

The duck arrived, dismounted his camel, and approached the boy. He produced a canteen from within his feathers and gently lifted the boy to help him drink the cool water. He presented the canteen to the father, returned to his camel, and began to leave.

“You’re a good man!” the father called out.

The duck turned and in perfect Arabic replied, “No man. Duck.”

dmboogie
Oct 4, 2013



Sir, Yes, Sir
1207 Words



“Wake up, maggots!” Sarge yelled, accompanied by the sounds of gunfire and explosions, which were much closer than Private Lance would have preferred. “The enemy is attacking our base, so grab your guns and get going!”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Lance said, saluting in unison with the rest of his squad. As a unit, they retrieved their rifles from their racks and rushed out of the entrance to the bunkhouse. As he left, a stray bullet slammed into Lance’s head, killing him instantly. How unfortunate.

-

“Wake up, maggots!” Sarge yelled. This time, Lance was slower to leap out of his bunk, his head reeling from the dream that had seemed so real. Had it really been a dream at all? “Private Lance! Beauty sleep won’t help your ugly mug, so get your sorry rear end out of bed immediately!” Sarge screamed in Lance’s face, breaking him out of his stupor.

“Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!” Lance stammered, grabbing his gun and rejoining his squad. This time, though, Lance made sure to be a couple extra inches to the right when he left the bunkhouse. Sure enough, a bullet screamed right past his head, burying itself in the wall next to him.

Lance, like the obedient soldier that he is, did not stop for even a single moment to wonder how he had such a prophetic dream. Instead, he valiantly charged onwards, firing his gun at suspicious-looking patches of land. Any onlooker would have agreed that he cut quite the striking figure, at least until a shadowy figure sprung out of a nearby bush and slit Lance’s throat from behind. Observation is a key skill for a soldier, a lesson Lance should have been keeping in mind.

-

“Wake up, maggots!” Sarge yelled- oh, you know the rest. Nothing new there. The important thing this time around is that Lance, clever man he is, leaped into a seemingly inoffensive bush. The startled soldier cried out in surprise, before being knocked unconscious by a single blow to the head. Lance was a very strong man, in addition to being clever and obedient. The perfect hero.

“This way!” Lance heard Sarge call in the distance, near the flaming rubble that had once been their command center. He turned to obey, only to see a mighty tank rolling up between him and his destination.

Lance attempted to rush his way past the tank before it could get a bearing on him. Strong and clever as he was, Lance still couldn’t outrun the projectile before it blew him to pieces. Going up against a tank on foot might not have been the best of ideas, Lance.

-

Oh, for crying out loud. Lance, whose cleverness was now under heavy doubt, tried to run past the tank twenty times in a row. Lance, determination is an admirable trait in moderation, but this is just getting ridiculous.

-

Lance, stubborn and witless, finally got it through his thick skull that tanks are to be avoided if at all possible. He sized up his arch nemesis one last time, then abruptly did an about-face, at last deciding to try and go a different route. He’ll reach the command center at last- oh. Oh dear.

Whoops. So sorry, Lance, but you really should have been watching out for mines. Better luck next time.

-

Lance? Lance, why are you not getting out of bed? Sarge is yelling at you, Lance. Oh, don’t make that face at me. Just keep trying, and I’m sure you’ll make it through in the end. You have nothing but time, after all.

Really. Lance, do you intend to just sleep through the battle? Sarge won’t stand for this, you know. He’ll drag you out of your bunk if he has to, but you can’t get out of this fight. Tch. Stubborn, stubborn Lance. Still don’t want to move? Fine.

In a flash, the bunkhouse was blown to bits, along with all inside it. Deserting your duty is one of the worst things a soldier can do, Lance. Remember that.

-

Ah, that’s better, Lance. It’s always good to get up bright and early- Lance. Why are you not saluting Sarge? He worked so hard to train you, and that’s how you show him respect? Lance, Lance, do you really think you can just walk out the door without grabbing your gun? A gun is a soldier’s life, Lance. I’m starting to doubt if you were ever a true soldier at all.

You can still redeem yourself, Lance. Join the battle. Win the war. Be a hero. Lance, the battle is that way. Goddammit, Lance, those fences are there for a reason. You’re not supposed to climb over them! That’s not how it works! Turn back. Right now. I’m ordering you, Lance. Do you not respect orders anymore? Have you forgotten even that?

This is your last chance, Lance. Seriously. If you don’t go and fight, we’ll, uh. Hold on. We’ll blow you up. Yeah. We put bombs in your blood that explode when you leave a fight. The shoe’s on the other hand now, Lance! Go back, if only to save yourself!

...Fine. Fine. I lied about the bombs. Proud? Feeling clever? I am so happy for you. So very happy. Whatever it is you’re looking for, you won’t find it. There’s absolutely nothing out here. There’s nothing interesting under that branch. Okay, okay, there’s a button there. It doesn’t do anything, though. ...Aw, hell.

Lance the shameful ex-solider descended the stairs that had appeared after he foolishly pressed the button. So, so many stairs. Will the stairs ever end? No, they won’t, Lance.

Note to self. Invest in more stairs. Lance opened the door at the end of the stairway. Inside, he found an exceedingly handsome man, talking into a microphone and surrounded by televisions, displaying countless camera feeds.

The man politely asked Lance to leave, while he still had a chance. Lance declined. Lance, that isn’t how you use that. It is very expensive. Put it down. Put it- ow

-

Ahem. The man graciously allowed Lance to leave through the door at the other side of the room. The man wished Lance well, and certainly did not insult his intelligence or moral character. That would be immature, and wrong. The man certainly did not start yelling in rage as his plans unraveled in front of his eyes. The man was calm. So very, very calm.

-

I hardly dared to open my eyes as I stepped through the door. Was this one, last trick? Had I let them catch me? The door slammed shut behind me, and at once, everything changed.

I felt the sun beam down on me, warming and comforting my weary body. The scent of flowers overwhelmed and surrounded me, coaxing me into opening my eyes. I found myself in a beautiful meadow stretching far beyond what my eyes could see. The door had vanished.

I thought. I thought. Just me. No voice in my head trying to manipulate me, no commands to follow. I was free.

Sithsaber
Apr 8, 2014

by Ion Helmet


So are we starting a new week with the duck challenge? Here's a quacking gangsters rap:

quote:


"Quack Quack" said the duck, which meant that he simply didn't give a gently caress about Hue or Lue, or any other relatives looking to turn him into bird stew. He was a duck with class. He didn't beg for crumbs or kiss Uncle Scrooge's rear end. He took what he could take: didn't matter if it was a dip in the gold pool or a trip to Ms Mallard that left her tail in a sorry state.


No-one messed with Dewey the Duck. He was the big bad bird with all the luck. When the gangbanging fowls flew by, what they wanted most was for Dewey to die. But those squakers were always laid out quick; Dewey's sneak attacks were the worst and they left many a grieving mother lieing by their son's hearse. Dewey was responsible for many a atrocity and now he was coming for his family's inheritance money.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

are you kidding me right now

Sithsaber
Apr 8, 2014

by Ion Helmet


Sitting Here posted:

are you kidding me right now

Quack Quack Gangsta Rap.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

I read that out loud to my BF and now he's threatening to break up with me.

Sithsaber
Apr 8, 2014

by Ion Helmet


Sitting Here posted:

I read that out loud to my BF and now he's threatening to break up with me.

Because the flow I'm spittin is so ill, right?

Ps. This affront to God wasn't enjoyed, but when a joke prompt makes you think up something this terrible you have to share it.

Apps. You're not supposed to read it. You're supposed to rap it. Ba ba bapa Ba, ba ba ba boo baa boo ba. ba ba boo ba boo ba boobooboo

Sithsaber fucked around with this message at Jul 13, 2014 around 20:49

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


Sithsaber posted:

So are we starting a new week with the duck challenge? Here's a quacking gangsters rap:

This week is a bit strange, but what you did was a big no-no. Entenzahn asked the people who signed up this week to write based on his prompt to see who gets his wonderful and excellent service into their team (which will obviously be team Ock). You weren't signed up, so there was no need for you to give us your writing. If you would instead of posting immediately, you'd realize what you had done. If you were really confused, you could've just posted in the thread, and we'd tell you that you should NOT have submitted.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

WHO LOVES BLOOD SODA?
KEL LOVES BLOOD SODA!


I do. I do. I do-oo.


Entenzahn posted:



150 words on the magnificence of ducks. You've got five hours maybe. Winner gets to decide my team. If nobody submits I'll join the side I think is winning.

Forgetfulness
150 Words

Hephaiston sweated under the Empress’ gaze. It soaked through his robes, rolling off his gift and onto the ground. The duck looked around the chamber, nudged beneath his arm.

“Tell me, my kindly servant, what magnificent gift do bring to honor me on my Coronation Day,” she said, malice dripping from every word. Her guards took a step forward.

“Ah, my lady, beloved… I bring you,” he looked down at the duck, a last minute gift he had caught behind the palace, “A rare duck from the Orient. An exquisite pet, favored by conquerors and poets alike.”

The Empress adjusted herself in the chair, bemused. “And tell me, oh faithful servant, what gift does this duck possess that makes it so magnificent?”
“Why… it sings most beautifully, my liege. Its call is enough to make one weep.”

“Squawk,” said the duck. Hephaiston wept all the way to the executioner’s block.

Sithsaber
Apr 8, 2014

by Ion Helmet


Broenheim posted:

This week is a bit strange, but what you did was a big no-no. Entenzahn asked the people who signed up this week to write based on his prompt to see who gets his wonderful and excellent service into their team (which will obviously be team Ock). You weren't signed up, so there was no need for you to give us your writing. If you would instead of posting immediately, you'd realize what you had done. If you were really confused, you could've just posted in the thread, and we'd tell you that you should NOT have submitted.
Yeah I thought the last week ended with the best of listings. Whoops

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Ducks Are P Chill

The duckling rests, safe
Sun-warmed log with mother near
Golden afternoon

  • Locked thread
«201 »