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Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.

Seaside Loafer posted:

Alright look heres exactly how it went down (tee hee).

Ive twice asked the station to help me, denied, I ran over to a nearby cafe, denied. Go back to station ask again, denied. Its at this point it starts to erupt. Ive poo poo myself, half the load maybe, I find a corner outside in the bike parking bit, drop my trousers and do the rest, just squatting. The woman who had denied me the use of the bogs then comes on the tannoy system and says 'we can see you!'.

When im done, trousers covered in poo poo, i go back in and talk to what seemed like a reasonable man and say get me a mop and bucket and i'll go clean that up as best i can. he did, i did. I get on the train with my white jeans looking and and smelling like poo poo in rush hour traffic. And then then next day the woman id spent the night with randomly dumped me over IM (without knowing anything about this).

Of the worst days of my life that was definitly in the top 5.

You asked.

e: no the jeans were not ok, i really liked them as well. washed em like 5 times but the stain wouldnt come out. binned em.

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Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.
And the other bollox

List of Greatest Monsters
Jamie Oliver
Russell Brand
Stephen Fry
Dick Dorkins
Robert Webb


History's Greatest Monsters:
Dracula
Bride of Frankenstein
Mr Hyde
Imhotep
Morticia Addams
James Sullivan

Chat Ratings:

Toiletchat :shrek:
Steampunk pisstakechat: :getin:
JamieOliverchat/Boatchat/Frychat: IST VERBOTEN :ughh: :siren:
Saucechat/Crispchat: :geno:
Trainchat: :allears:
Pyramidchat: :ms:
Biotruthschat: :frogout:
Breadchat: :chef:
Toastchat/Naanchat: :sigh:
A Sloth/Nodrog/Jut/IWCchat: :frogsiren:
Moth/Beechat: :3:
Stephen Fry is a poo poo: CONFIRMED! :frogsiren:


Previous UK Threads
March '14 thread
Feburary'14 thread
January '14 thread
December '13 thread
November '13 thread
October '13 thread
September '13 thread
August '13 thread
July '13 thread
May/June '13 thread
April '13 thread :siren: Thatcher came to this thread to die. :siren:
Feb/March '13 thread Warning: :biotruths:
BOGOF Dec '12/ Jan '13 thread with such highlights as Zero Gravitas's terrible landlady stealing his underwear to make sure he returned the keys and Trickjaw's fight against the bastards of the Work Program.
Two for the price of one October and November '12 thread
September '12 thread.
August '12 thread.
July '12 thread (with links to previous threads and Iohannes definitive Minimum Alcohol Pricing post).
Ninpo's excellent effortpost on the poverty trap that exists for people working up to 16 hours (but no more) a week.


Other threads of interest for the citizens of the UK :britain:


Hackgate scandal thread - now with even more prosecutions!
UK Marriage Equality thread
Scottish independence thread
The EDL/UK Fascist watch thread

Please keep in mind the following:

Particularly keep in mind these threads have been watched and posters have received a visit from the Old Bill as a result of political opinions expressed in D&D.

The UK threads have been accused in the past of jumping on people who don't conform to the view of the thread. We actually welcome newcomers but expect a certain investment and that includes citing sources to back up your arguments beyond a he said /she said basis. You will probably get some stick if all you can offer in an argument is a second or third hand anecdote while other people are citing census data or scientific studies, for example.


bollox I put an apostrophe in Greggs which shouldn't be there in the title.

Rude Dude With Tude fucked around with this message at 11:05 on Apr 2, 2014

Pesmerga
Aug 1, 2005

So nice to eat you
Best new thread ever.

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010
This is the Best of threads, this is the Blurst of threads.

Larry_Mullet
Sep 8, 2012
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulPwH8ObEVI

Something's going on, look at this symbolism.

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002

by VideoGames
The discussion about how revolting Eric Pickles is - both physically and mentally - seems to have lost momentum, unfortunately.

Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.

Larry_Mullet posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulPwH8ObEVI

Something's going on, look at this symbolism.

hmmm yess





Microplastics
Jul 6, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!
This truly is the best UKMT thread ev--

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

bollox I put an apostrophe in Greggs which shouldn't be there in the title.

:negative:

ruined...

Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.
I'm sorry :(

In unsurprising news, the National Audit Office has told the government they sold Royal Mail to their mates for too cheap and it wasn't good value to taxpayers.

BBC posted:

The Communication Workers Union called for Business Secretary Vince Cable to quit over the sale. Billy Hayes, general secretary of the union, said it was a "botched, panic sale" and the business secretary "should consider his position".

In response to the report, Mr Cable said: "Achieving the highest price possible at any cost and whatever the risk was never the aim of the sale. The report concludes there was a real risk of a failed sale attached to pushing the price too high. And a failed sale would have been the worst outcome for taxpayers and jeopardised the operation of Royal Mail going forward."

And a bit of Just Fancy That!

quote:

With demand for the flotation uncertain, the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills chose 21 "priority investors" to maximise its chances of successfully selling all the shares. It believed that these investors would be long-term, supportive shareholders.

It did not, however, confirm this with a binding agreement, because it said this would have reduced the sale price of the shares.

Eventually, 22% of Royal Mail was sold to 16 of the priority investors who had bid for shares at 330p. By the end of January 2014, just six priority investors remained among the largest shareholders, who together held just 12% of the shares.

The Coalition couldn't organise a bun fight at kiplings.

Microplastics
Jul 6, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

The Coalition couldn't organise a bun fight at kiplings.

You say that as though they made some sort of mistake, or something.

No - it went exactly as planned.

Fuckers.

Edit: where's this list of 21 priority investors? I can't wait to see how they're all buddies of or related to Tory shitheels.

Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.

Fans
Jun 27, 2013

A reptile dysfunction

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

The Coalition couldn't organise a bun fight at kiplings.

If you say this enough they will try do it just to prove they do indeed fight with pleb food like us common folk though.

Farecoal
Oct 15, 2011

There he go
whatever happened to that list of things to keep in mind in the op

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Bite my furry metal ass
Passed its sell-by date. (I'm disappointed that history's greatest monsters doesn't just list movie monsters, today of all days)

Microplastics
Jul 6, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!

Farecoal posted:

whatever happened to that list of things to keep in mind in the op

The only thing you really need to know is that the history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles - all other truths can be derived from that

Prism Mirror Lens
Oct 9, 2012

~*"The most intelligent and meaning-rich film he could think of was Shaun of the Dead, I don't think either brain is going to absorb anything you post."*~




:chord:

KKKlean Energy posted:

The only thing you really need to know is that the history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles - all other truths can be derived from that

Wrong m8

quote:

In a capitalist market, governed by the invisible hand of supply and demand, sellers are constantly searching for new technologies to increase productivity, allowing them to reduce the costs of producing their goods and services so they can sell them cheaper than their competitors, win over consumers and secure sufficient profit for their investors. Marx never asked what might happen if intense global competition some time in the future forced entrepreneurs to introduce ever more efficient technologies, accelerating productivity to the point where the marginal cost of production approached zero, making goods and services "priceless" and potentially free, putting an end to profit and rendering the market exchange economy obsolete. But that's now beginning to happen.

Over the past decade millions of consumers have become prosumers, producing and sharing music, videos, news, and knowledge at near-zero marginal cost and nearly for free, shrinking revenues in the music, newspaper and book-publishing industries.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/mar/31/capitalism-age-of-free-internet-of-things-economic-shift

Class struggle is over, quoth the Guardian! Prosumers of the world, unite!

(Extra Marx cred for those who can point out what long-term effect Marx did predict which is basically exactly what this guy says he didn't)

DrWrestling69
Feb 4, 2008

Tracyanne...

Pissflaps posted:

The discussion about how revolting Eric Pickles is - both physically and mentally - seems to have lost momentum, unfortunately.

He is a big grotesque abomination and he is also fat as gently caress.

Spangly A
May 14, 2009

God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Prism Mirror Lens posted:


(Extra Marx cred for those who can point out what long-term effect Marx did predict which is basically exactly what this guy says he didn't)

I've seen apologists pretend Marx was wrong or irrelevant before, but I've never seen anyone attempt to retcon his views on industrialisation.

Ponce de Le0n
Jul 6, 2008

Father jailed for beating 3 kids after they wouldn't say who farted in his car

SuperHunBastard1690 posted:

He is a big grotesque abomination and he is also fat as gently caress.

Everytime he comes on telly and spouts his moronic views its doubly gross because I have to witness his obese bloated face attempt movement.

ronya
Nov 8, 2010

I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.
I'm surprised Cable is not just saying the most obvious reason for the difficulty in pricing the Royal Mail, namely the uncertainty over how costly industrial action would be to resolve. It's not like blaming the union would actually cost the Conservatives any votes, and in this case it's not actually a bullshit answer.

Spangly A
May 14, 2009

God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

ronya posted:

I'm surprised Cable is not just saying the most obvious reason for the difficulty in pricing the Royal Mail, namely the uncertainty over how costly industrial action would be to resolve. It's not like blaming the union would actually cost the Conservatives any votes, and in this case it's not actually a bullshit answer.

Cable isn't a Tory, he's just acting like one.

ronya
Nov 8, 2010

I'm the normal one.

You hate ridden fucks will regret your words when you eventually grow up.

Peace.
Oh he's Lib Dem. That makes more sense then.

LemonDrizzle
Mar 28, 2012

neoliberal shithead

ronya posted:

I'm surprised Cable is not just saying the most obvious reason for the difficulty in pricing the Royal Mail, namely the uncertainty over how costly industrial action would be to resolve. It's not like blaming the union would actually cost the Conservatives any votes, and in this case it's not actually a bullshit answer.
Can the Lib Dems really afford to alienate the sad remains of their left wing support any further?

Trickjaw
Jun 23, 2005
Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene



ronya posted:

I'm surprised Cable is not just saying the most obvious reason for the difficulty in pricing the Royal Mail, namely the uncertainty over how costly industrial action would be to resolve. It's not like blaming the union would actually cost the Conservatives any votes, and in this case it's not actually a bullshit answer.

Didn't Cable not want to do it anyway? The union calling for his resignation may regret it, he is one of the few Lib-Dems that didn't drink the Tory Kool-aid. Its also being heavily hinted that he was the one who leaked about the Scots will be able to enter into a currency union if they go out of the Union.

hookerbot 5000
Dec 21, 2009

ronya posted:

I'm surprised Cable is not just saying the most obvious reason for the difficulty in pricing the Royal Mail, namely the uncertainty over how costly industrial action would be to resolve. It's not like blaming the union would actually cost the Conservatives any votes, and in this case it's not actually a bullshit answer.

I'm pretty sure he has said that.

quote:


He said that the threat of industrial action by the postal workers' union was also a factor that influenced the initial price range.

"There were some investors who stated that they were not willing to invest at all and many others who focused on the business and financial implications of strike action," Mr Cable said.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24583750

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

LemonDrizzle posted:

Can the Lib Dems really afford to alienate the sad remains of their left wing support any further?

They're not left wing, they're in the center*.

*They're indecisive pricks who'll do as their told and like it just to maintain even the glimmering hope of relevancy.

Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.
Poll news!


http://comres.co.uk/polls/MailOnline_Clegg_vs_Farage_Poll_31st_March_2013.pdf

Dale Maily posted:

Four in 10 voters think Nigel Farage poses a ’danger to Britain’ after he heaped praise on Russian President Vladimir Putin, an exclusive poll for MailOnline reveals today. The survey reveals the UKIP leader is also seen as ’a bit sleazy’ while his Lib Dem rival Nick Clegg is out of his depth and less likely to tell the truth.

The ComRes poll comes as the two men prepare to go head-to-head tomorrow night in the second live TV debate on Britain’s membership of the European Union.

Mr Clegg was marginally more of a hit with the ladies - 14 per cent of female voters wanted a pint with him, over 13 per cent of men. However, fewer than one in 10 housewives and househusband would venture out for a pint with Mr Clegg.

Similarly 13 per cent of women thought Mr Clegg would 'make a good date', compared to just 8 per cent for Mr Farage. However, Mr Farage was a more popular choice for a date among men - 12 per cent to Mr Clegg’s 10.

:frogbon:

Lady Gaza
Nov 20, 2008

Nigel Farage: more sleazy and dangerous than Nick Clegg but also more truthful

:psyduck:

Microplastics
Jul 6, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!
Pint questions :negative:

The only reason I'd want a pint with Farage is so that I could make novel use of the beverage container.



Also what the gently caress: "However, Mr Farage was a more popular choice for a date among men - 12 percent"

So 12 percent of the polled men were gay and willing to date that jizzblister? Seems a tad high somehow

marktheando
Nov 4, 2006

Lady Gaza posted:

Nigel Farage: more sleazy and dangerous than Nick Clegg but also more truthful

:psyduck:

I'd say that's pretty accurate, no? Farage is quite up front about how sleazy and dangerous he is.

Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.

Lady Gaza posted:

Nigel Farage: more sleazy and dangerous than Nick Clegg but also more truthful

:psyduck:
Well he's certainly never signed a pledge which he then went back on after being elected as a member of parliament.

Hang on how many MPs have The UKIP got again? :yayclod:

Peel
Dec 3, 2007

Farage has a block of supporters who think he tells the truth the Guardian/cultural marxists/'they' don't want you to know, and a block of opponents who think he's a dangerous sleazeball. Meanwhile nobody anywhere in the country thinks Clegg is trustworthy. The 18% is all drunk/mistaken/joke/desperate lib dem answers.

thehustler
Apr 17, 2004

I am very curious about this little crescendo
Yeah questions like that are stupid. It's basically "tell us about your deep-seated ideology and who agrees with you" isn't it?

Also dumbing down etc.

Ponce de Le0n
Jul 6, 2008

Father jailed for beating 3 kids after they wouldn't say who farted in his car

Lady Gaza posted:

Nigel Farage: more sleazy and dangerous than Nick Clegg but also more truthful

:psyduck:

Because farage drinks pints down the local and says/believes racist things but clegg looks like a grown up choirboy but everything he has done is disappointment and lies.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
You plebs just don't understand: the mere, magical fact of the Royal Mail being privatized has caused the business to massively gain in value :smug:

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/douglascarswellmp/100265616/of-course-royal-mail-share-prices-have-gone-up-because-its-been-privatised/

(And what lesson does this supply for what we should do with all the other public services, eh? Eh?)

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

Umiapik posted:

You plebs just don't understand: the mere, magical fact of the Royal Mail being privatized has caused the business to massively gain in value :smug:

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/douglascarswellmp/100265616/of-course-royal-mail-share-prices-have-gone-up-because-its-been-privatised/

(And what lesson does this supply for what we should do with all the other public services, eh? Eh?)

They should privatize the police so I can save up all year and pay the police to let me wander into the Telegraph's Comment department and take a big runny poo poo on this guy's desk.

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



Re: Eric Pickles chat: Generally I don't think it's fair to use people's weight as a mark against them, but Pickles really is the physical representation of the stereotypical greedy, gluttonous, privileged piece of poo poo that cannot see past his own gut to see that people he is paid to represent (like any MP gives a gently caress about that) are going hungry because of the actions of him, his mates and his cronies. So yeah, he is a disgusting fat gently caress.

(I am, however, aware that he isn't part of the old-money club that Tories generally subscribe to)

Lady Gaza
Nov 20, 2008

marktheando posted:

I'd say that's pretty accurate, no? Farage is quite up front about how sleazy and dangerous he is.

For some reason I read 'tells the truth' more as 'telling it like it is'. Which sadly is what his supporters must think anyway.

big scary monsters
Sep 2, 2011

-~Skullwave~-

KKKlean Energy posted:

Also what the gently caress: "However, Mr Farage was a more popular choice for a date among men - 12 percent"

So 12 percent of the polled men were gay and willing to date that jizzblister? Seems a tad high somehow
No, the way the results are presented is a bit misleading. They asked each question once and you had to choose Clegg, Farage or Don't Know. So 12% of men would rather go for a date with Farage than with Clegg, not 12% of men would like to go on a date with Farage. The majority (78%) of men were unable to decide which of the two would be worse.

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happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
But c'mon, you know Farrage would be a right go'er.
A right WRAARRRGGGGGGH know what I mean nudge nudge.

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