|
I'm shocked you didn't name this ffxiii.jpg Unremarkable. ... In all seriousness, I did enjoy the game. Sure it's ridiculous but I enjoy camp.
|
#
¿
Apr 3, 2014 00:11
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 04:26 |
|
|
Instant Grat posted:I don't think it's accurate to say that the game ever really "opens up" as such - you get to decide by yourself who you want in your party, and you get the choice between continuing on with the story or participating in The Sidequest. There's only one, and the idea is you do it over and over again while it gets progressively harder. It is accurate if you consider opening it up allows you to push the analog stick in a direction besides "up" for more than 20 seconds and not end up running into a wall.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 3, 2014 11:06
|
|
|
Speedball posted:If I were a slightly more competent writer I'd say the reason you could kick the rear end of the giant scorpion robot with buzz saw hands is because it's primarily designed as an intimidation weapon instead of an assault vessel. That's why its screen-hitting laser weapon only stings you. That makes some sense. Also, your little pun at the end there hurt more than the laser.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 3, 2014 20:53
|
|
|
Blastinus posted:I have quibbles about a few of the character designs in this game, but that there is one stylish dude. It's like if Gordon Gekko was created Pope of Wall Street.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 4, 2014 11:08
|
|
|
I wonder if they were meant to be a fancy fantasy way to say Falacy. It's a mistake to believe in these jokers?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2014 15:39
|
|
|
Gensuki posted:The trick to the game is that it gets better towards the end, and anyone who "Likes it" is just remembering the most recent parts to them; the ending. I like the game, but one of the things towards the end makes everything else, every other stupid thing it does pale in it's blinding utter idiocy.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 12, 2014 13:38
|
|
|
Bregor posted:Couldn't agree more. SE has done plenty in an attempt to force us to like Lightning. None of it is as effective as SNOWPUNCH! SNOWPUNCH 2 is just as good. But admittedly it seemed very rushed for a sequel. Not saying I don't like the sequel hooks being thrown around, be they lefts or rights.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 15, 2014 23:00
|
|
|
Fedule posted:I've got a great idea for a new thread drinking game: When watching our videos, drink every time we mention something we chose not to mention in a previous video - because we have to carefully ration interesting tidbits lest we run out of things to talk about because this is Final Fantasy XIII we're playing here - only to have someone bring it up in the thread immediately afterwards by way of expanding on what we did say in that video. I'm guessing you would suggest we drink only the finest fullest bodied, 1963 vintage Chateau Ombriand Select bottles of STFU?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 16, 2014 10:58
|
|
|
I was afraid that I had to wait til the Next Eidolon fight to show this, since I couldn't remember if it was mentioned why Shivas/Shivae(?) fought Snow. But the datalog provides. They're just helping. Their type of help is always truly sought after... 
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2014 20:29
|
|
|
I blame Vanille's retrospective narrative babble on Sex in the City, Grey's Anatomy, and all the other vapid shows that have some idiot voice over nothing happening while talking about a completely different and theoretically impossible separate catagory of nothing.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 00:56
|
|
|
Nihilarian posted:I like to think that everything is a part of Operation Nora. When Hope finishes brushing his teeth in the morning, he says "Operation Nora, Stage 548 complete." *HP+2 on crystarium* Operation Nora, Stage 2 complete *ATT+3 on crystarium* Operation Nora, Stage 3 complete *Fearsiphon, or some other thing off the crystarium spoke* Operation Nora, Stage 3, part 2 complete. *Role level* Operation Nora, Stage 4, part 2, article 3, subsection 93 complete.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 21:41
|
|
|
Nidoking posted:Hope: *casts Fire on an enemy* THIS IS OPERATION NORA! *casts Fire* THIS IS OPERATION NORA! Someone needs to hack the game, and replace every one of Hope's combat audio clips with "Operation Nora!" Include in this any chance for him to scream over whoever has the victory quote at the end. Lightning: "Just another ba-"  "OPERATION NORA!"
|
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2014 03:54
|
|
|
Artix posted:Yeah, not to go into too much detail, but basically the beginning of Chapter 7 is a sewer level. So in and of itself, you're already looking at trouble. This is compounded by the fact that nothing actually happens during this section - there are a couple cutscenes of note, which are awkwardly broken up by short walkways with one fight on them before you reach another awkwardly broken up cutscene. I'm sure  going off every 3 seconds doesn't help your pacing.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 30, 2014 20:44
|
|
|
Simply Simon posted:The entire thing could have therefore been excised entirely. Of course, that is true for at the very least 70% of any conversations in the game, and indeed 90% of the game in general, so I guess I'm just reiterating what everyone already knew, bringing nothing new or interesting to the table. You might call this Final Fantasy XIII, the forums post. Part of the Something Awfula Nova Crystalis Universe. I still think you need to record these tirades; the contrast of your soothing voice and the frothing at the mouth rage would be enjoyable. Also you'd probably be relegated to DLC in the Trilogy. Stuff people would want (like Ultros and Gilgamesh) but not want enough to encourage Square to make more of this garbage. Wild Knight posted:Snow is the tallest FF protagonist ever? That seems really weird, like, in a "why did they even bother focusing on that" sort of way. It's probably a symptom of the whole "focusing on creating art assets before actually creating a story" problem the whole XIII series had, though. Its strange, Final Fantasy games in the past were filled with trite things, like blood type and other minutia. They didn't even bother with that bit of trivia. Just "Hey, this guy is tall" and "Hey, he's a jive mother" and "She's an anime"
|
|
#
¿
Jul 10, 2014 21:38
|
|
|
nine-gear crow posted:In Japan, its an old cultural myth that blood type determined personality. It was character profile shorthand for "he's the hero" or "he's kind of an rear end in a top hat", etc that was lost when it was translated. I know, and it's hilarious that they seemingly actively omitted it for FFXIII. No "Leader" "Anti-Hero" or some other archetype stuff here, just "Tall crazy hobo-looking guy" "Afro Man" and "Cloudette"
|
|
#
¿
Jul 10, 2014 21:58
|
|
|
HOOLY BOOLY posted:I'd skip the first part of Spoony's review though, he seriously goes on a 10+ minute rant about the robes everybody is wearing on the train at the very beginning. He does have a bit of a point but he just nitpicks the gently caress out that little issue. I enjoyed the tirade, but I think there is a serious point. We know this is the Final Solution, these people are dead, but the story is they're being exiled. The people of Cocoon aren't blaming them for their lovely luck, and don't want them to die the moment they're on the surface. They might be for protection, or literal sacrificial robes or something. Honestly, they should have been stripped to the waist, numbers tattooed on them, and their guards casting lots for the good poo poo in their pockets, but that doesn't look good on camera, it doesn't look good for Space Pope.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2014 17:14
|
|
|
Blastinus posted:Nor do a lot of real-life snipers ride jetpacks up to about two feet away from the thing they're shooting at or fly in circles waiting for their target to run towards them. What I'm saying is, like pretty much everyone on Cocoon, these snipers are terrible at their job. I think in this universe, the Art of War is a pop up coloring book. The farthest you could have a sniper from its target is one end of the page to the edge of the next page.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 19, 2014 21:29
|
|
|
Blastinus posted:e: Also, a quick Google search on the name Ushumgal either brings up FF13, a creature from FF11, or an ancient Sumerian land grant, centered around a priest by the name of Ushumgal. So basically, Square-Enix just took a random name they found off the internet and decided that it was exotic enough for a monster name. Square-Enix.txt, go online, search a wiki for Babylonian, or Sumerian, or Sumatran myths and find the least tenuously related name for your monster, or organization, or weapon.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2014 21:09
|
|
|
Rigged Death Trap posted:Hes earned the third spot in the Fixed that for you. But yes, he was certainly the darkhorse for me. Sazh was a definite favorite right out the gate, and I expected to hate Snow, but he redeemed himself nicely during this.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2014 23:20
|
|
|
Rabbi Raccoon posted:I still keep seeing Hope as Tidus 2.0. Just as whiny without that pesky adulthood going on. Vaan is Tidus 2.0. Everything wrong with Tidus was honed and concentrated into a critical mass of useless. While Tidus screamed it was his story, it was only partially his. Vaan was shoehorned in. I don't even think Hope is Tidus 3.0, that goes to Penelo, the shoehorned in useless friend of the useless lead. If anything, I think Hope is Vincent 2.0. Mope, mope mope 
|
|
#
¿
Jul 31, 2014 03:28
|
|
|
Schwartzcough posted:"combat data." Just once, it would be great if some game gibbered on about Combat Data, and then the heroes call them out on the poo poo... Then the villian breaks out  and explain in detail their thesis, including the design of experiments and details in their use of thermocouples, accelerometers, high speed cameras, shock stickers and EKG meters to actually quantify "punch/shoot/stab/magic the gently caress out of that jerk"Bonus if they include control samples, or before and after... or if the whole T-Virus poo poo was just a massive placebo. "Huh? he turned into a what? He just got the sugar pill!"
|
|
#
¿
Aug 15, 2014 03:40
|
|
|
I can never truly decide if his name should be Robopope or Pope Troglodytarum XIII; Patron Saint of Kill Stealing Fucks. A nice long rolling Spanish "R" though... Rrrrrrrobopope 
|
|
#
¿
Sep 9, 2014 11:02
|
|
|
Blaze Dragon posted:Also the whole transforming Eidolon thing made me think if they couldn't just use that to leave the ship, until I remembered that their current transports are a horse, a car and a bike, none of which is particularly effective in the air (Shiva's odd ice powers ignored). Sometimes things make sense completely by mistake, since I doubt they planned that far ahead. Except My Little Podin canters down from the sky.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 10, 2014 02:40
|
|
|
Space Pope: Hope to Hope Episode 81: Knifin' Around.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 11, 2014 03:46
|
|
|
Simply Simon posted:Minerva Bustier for sick Commando bonus Vanille would actually own tho I can totally imagine RoboPope monologing about his magic owl-ship/lingerie lifting and separating the font of women's power.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 14, 2014 13:04
|
|
|
Artix posted:Why this 'Fifth Ark' is on Cocoon, and whether there are other Arks hidden elsewhere, is uncertain. Knowing that this is all to blame on Fal'Cie, and how they're massive mind-loving dicks. I'm sure there's only 2 or 3 Arks. One named "Fifth Ark" and the second "Tenth Ark, Mk. II"
|
|
#
¿
Sep 16, 2014 04:06
|
|
|
nine-gear crow posted:I'll see your Firth Ark and raise you a Dämmerung Restricted Area in Xenosaga Epiosde II. Monolith buggered up the whole Superweapon Factory/Hanger dungeon nearly half a decade before Square got around to it. Is that the one with the time limit? That killed any motivation for me to finish the game, or even consider picking up III.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 18, 2014 02:28
|
|
|
Rigged Death Trap posted:User Tags: Very funny... wait, you're serious?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 18, 2014 18:13
|
|
|
Artix posted:Well now I need to come up with some kind of contest so I can give the poor bastard that wins it a copy of all three games The contest should be the last person to yell "not it!" wins "Not it"
|
|
#
¿
Sep 18, 2014 20:47
|
|
|
nine-gear crow posted:Not it! Replace Yang Rosch's name and all of his lines with Vaan's pointless segment in FFXII. "I'm Captain Basch!" "Basch Lives!"
|
|
#
¿
Sep 18, 2014 21:15
|
|
|
Rita Repulsa posted:so the characters are doing things because a god is telling them to and the gods are making them do things because their god told them to. They're trying to do the exact opposite that they're being told to do so hard and so badly that it somehow has imploded on itself and they're doing what they're told to, but being really pissed off about doing it.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 23, 2014 02:13
|
|
|
Kurieg posted:Honestly, the whole fal'cie plot would probably seem a lot more menacing if it didn't come off as a bunch of petulant children who are angry at their parents. Dad left them alone and told them not to break all the pottery, and they want to be good and not break the pottery, but there's the family pet right there and if they keep smacking it it might get angry enough to break the pottery for them. And then dad will love them again. That's... shockingly accurate. Except the pottery is full of chocolate or anti-freeze and the dogs die and daddy comes back with a new puppy. Those psychopathic fucks. Wouldn't put it past them to make stage 4 or 5 of their plan to murder daddy and Bart wears his face as a mask, over his ridiculous mechanical one.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 23, 2014 03:58
|
|
|
nine-gear crow posted:The question then is, is that better or worse than Bartholomew's burnished steel necklace tie? Apparently everyone evil has a tie. The Baroness, Rosch. Anima and the Guard Scorpion probably did too.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2014 22:09
|
|
|
ApplesandOranges posted:Just pointing out that Hope hasn't got his Eidolon yet. The only reason I can think of is the "gently caress that damned max damage trophy, get it over with already," or "Oh poo poo, need a full heal now!"
|
|
#
¿
Sep 29, 2014 03:49
|
|
|
Rigged Death Trap posted:Michael Bay. Lord that makes me sick just thinking about it. It makes me even more terrified that if Tetris is being made into a movie, it is a real, terrifying possibility that this would get the green light. Even more horrifying is if Peter Jackson gets his hands on it, and breaks it into a Trilogy. Not FFXIII, FFXIII-2 and FFX111-3, but like the Hobbit, a small story inflated and bloated into 3 movies.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2014 23:58
|
|
|
I'm reading the "translate this last, it'll be deleted anyway" in Bartandalus's voice. Just a gigantic troll telling someone to do the most pointless, futile task... just like this game.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 20, 2014 21:27
|
|
|
morallyobjected posted:Only in blue circles. Chocobos have their own circles because blue ones are reserved for the l'Cie master race. Union rules. KWEH Local 563 and The International Brotherhood of JRPG Protagonists have very strict lines of demarcation.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 31, 2014 20:58
|
|
|
Whenever I see her hop up on her ridiculous transformer, all I can think is "Chung, Chung! Chung, chung! Magitek Armor!"
|
|
#
¿
Nov 6, 2014 21:35
|
|
|
Stabbey_the_Clown posted:For a while, I actually believed that Oerba would be a village where you could talk to NPC's. I forgot I was Fixed that for... oops. It was a nice thought to have a desolate abandoned village to show you how the world has gone to poo poo. Too bad that you're almost done with the game and world building is pointless at this far in 
|
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2014 00:21
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 04:26 |
|
|
Quantum Toast posted:I'm not sure exactly how Barthandelus can disguise himself as a normal-sized human, but it kind of makes me think of the Wizard of Oz. Except in reverse. My question is more about why he decided to disguise himself as a teenage girl. Phase 1 - Turn into girl Phase 2 - ???? (who am I kidding, we know it was to gently caress Snow) Phase 3 - Destroy Cocoon? (Get laid!)
|
|
#
¿
Dec 5, 2014 23:46
|
|