Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

dogstile posted:

That bank reminds me of Wolf of Wall Street where every call they made out was made by a "senior vice president".

Are you sure the bank wasn't run by that guy?

My linkedin front page is filled with inspiring Jordan Belfort quotes and image macros. It's good to know which people I should work with if I want to end up in prison.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 15:40

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 07:36

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

dogstile posted:

I honestly feel bad for most of the salaried people here. I'm salaried, but if I do overtime I get paid at an hourly rate. Good thing too, I would not work 32 hour weekends without it.

(site installations are awful when they go wrong, by the way. Thanks for asking)

Salary+hourly OT here too. Being on an offshore oilrig for 5 16 hour days over a weekend was amusing when I got my paycheck.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2014 08:52

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Congratulations! (conditional of you receiving the written offer!)

Make sure you negotiate a good hourly price with where you are now. Remember, they need you, you don't need them, and it's their own fault that they have made themselves dependent on you, not your fault.

Take your current lovely hourly rate there, add on costs for tax, healthcare and 1099 or whatever it is called in the US. Now multiply that by Pi. That is your new hourly rate, with a four hour minimum from when you receive an email or a call.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2014 09:14

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

dogstile posted:

A meeting came in. They're thinking of moving people to America to train a new support team.

I really need to convince my girlfriend that this is a viable thing for us. If nothing else, no import prices for some of the materials I buy. Plus, I get to move away from my current town, which i'd love to do.

Why do you hate having health insurance and statutory workers rights?

# ¿ Sep 15, 2014 13:55

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Put the money you feel they owe you into your consulting fee.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2014 13:11

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

We support the functionality of the device, and do e-mail via ActiveSync. No software or content support is given. Since iPhones are all the same, we don't repair them for the users when they break, we just replace them and put the refurbished ones into our pool.

It's probably not the most secure way to go and most users aren't smart enough to back up their pictures of grandma before they smash the front and back glass on the phone, but it's very good for our own mental health.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2014 07:01

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

dogstile posted:

Can someone explain to me how people sit in a meeting for more than 15 minutes without feeling like they're going to fall asleep? My last one was an hour long and as usual, didn't apply to the team i'm in but because we're still "support" we get dragged in anyway.

I just want to work dammit

Coffee and browsing the web/playing games on your smartphone. If it's a boring meeting that doesn't apply to me I have no problem being very visibly disinterested.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2014 09:13

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Through our mobile provider we get an app that looks up who is calling you from the internal company phonebook and displays it. On iPhone you have to look at the app after the call has ended, while on Android it will show who is calling while the call is incoming.

I keep an Android phone with a twin sim card in it on my desk just so I can see who is calling me directly and trying to skip the Helpdesk phone line.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2014 08:03

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I make more money than DaF, and I work 37,5 hour weeks as a helpdesk monkey.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2014 12:03

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

In the downtime over the last couple of days, I have built two computers from spare chassises and parts that were lying around.

One Dell Precision T5500 with dual Xeon E5520 CPUs, Nvidia Quadro FX3800, 9*4GB ECC 1066MHz DDR3 and two Intel 530 SSDs in RAID 0 on a Dell PERC H310 card.

One with an Intel i7 860 CPU, 2*4GB 1600 MHz DDR3 RAM, an Asus motherboard, an Asus Xonar SD PCI sound card, Nvidia 275GTX and a Chieftec 600W PSU in a Cooler Master Tower with a multiple memory card reader in the 3,5" floppy bay.

I am now ready for anything that late 2009 can throw at me.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2014 14:58

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I deal with people who have been drilling oil in the North Sea for 40-50 years and have seen some poo poo come and go, but they are amazed, puzzled and incapacitated when I give them a new computer and the power button isn't in the same location as the last one they had.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2014 15:12

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

This showed up in my LinkedIn feed:

**URGENT ROLE**I am looking for a Service Desk Team Leader to head up the the Global Service Desk responding to and resolving IT support requests and incidents made into the team by use of the client Travel Call logging system (HEAT). Providing cover and support to all users in the clients within the UK Division and other Global Divisions. paying �35k and interviewing ASAP

Does �35k seem laughably low for this?

# ¿ Jan 13, 2015 14:36

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

TerryLennox posted:

Ah, the old Dell "we have no money for pay raises or hiring...eh, this 3 billion dollars we used to buy 3 companies? This company is here to make money not raise your salary!" spiel.

Also "We have been grossly underpaying you, so everyone gets a 25% raise to increase retention and make us a more competitive employer. By the way, this branch gets shut down in three month and you're all fired."

# ¿ Jan 16, 2015 07:44

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Tab8715 posted:

What are the odds I'd be able to purchase an owned but unused domain? There isn't a whole lot of information on WHOIS and I emailed the guy but he hasn't responded.

GoDaddy offered me some $60 professional acquisition service but I think I'd check here first...

My computer doesn't work very good, what could it be?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2015 12:04

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Spraypaint it bright pink and chain it to a brick like a gas station bathroom key.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2015 07:19

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I worked a place with stack rankings of Exceptional, Valued Plus, Valued and Needs Improvement. In my Cluelessnes I worked my rear end off and achieved two Valued Plus and after many months and hard work I finally got my Exceptional.

I have now fully embraced Loserdom where I install Windows, tell people to try turning it off and on again and watch Youtube all day, and I make twice the money I made while working at the stack ranked place.

# ¿ May 11, 2015 07:56

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

If they don't know enough to buy Pro, why would they know enough to stop updates?

# ¿ Aug 3, 2015 10:37

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

We bought a PowerEdge R820 with 4 E5-4657L v2 Xeons and 128 GB RAM to run Orcaflex, a marine calculation program.

NUMA can't be disabled with this configuration, and Orcaflex isn't NUMA aware, so it would only run at 1% CPU due to scheduling and allocation issues. I had to remove one CPU, which disables another one and half the RAM.

I just looked up the CPUs now, they are $6000 each, I was holding one in my hand and thinking "Sure, I'll just put this in some bubble wrap"

So $12000 in CPUs and who knows how much in RAM, wasted.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 14:24

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Sefal posted:

He then says. What does an fqdn need?

Asking an open question with potential for learning and working towards solving the problem is entrapment.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2015 08:06

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Send an email for a status update at 4:45 on a Friday and follow up Monday morning asking why it's been three days and you didn't get a response

# ¿ Sep 2, 2015 07:15

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

Ugh, if I get laid off I'm going to have to go make 40% more money somewhere else and not be stuck on a conference call on Friday night because our software broke our poo poo for the 700th time, this loving sucks guys what am I going to tell my family about all the time they're gonna spend with me and all the money we'll have, they'll be so upset

Why wait?

# ¿ Sep 7, 2015 07:11

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Dark Helmut posted:

If you come in and say "I need this much or I won't budge"? Absolutely nothing. And I won't call you unless I can do it.

But most people aren't in that situation. People move for a variety of reasons, and all of them except one are not money. So understanding the full picture of where you're coming from and where you want to go helps me get you there, whether we get all the way to that ridiculous 20K raise you want in one leap or in two. And if you're way off base I'll tell you. But if you come in guarded and not willing to participate in what I consider a partnership, you'll find I mirror your effort. But the bottom line is a good recruiter at a respectable agency builds their reputation on their word and in the trust candidates put in them.

Admittedly, I'm not the best at articulating my reasons why through this forum. I have face to face conversations with my candidates to talk about their lives and where they want to go. I then give them my opinion of the market and their position in it and we make a gameplan to achieve your goals. Incidentally, the quicker I get you there the more I get paid.

Maybe us southerners are just more trusting than others. My region could totally be a factor.

Let's say you know of an open sysadmin position with a range of 60k-80k and you have three candidates who for the purposes of this exercise have similar skills and backgrounds and who all would be a good fit. One of the candidates made 30k in his last position. One made 65k. One will not disclose for you how much he made in his last position. How will the scenario for each of these candidates play out, and where in the range will they end up?

# ¿ Sep 16, 2015 02:13

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

lampey posted:

They could be moving from a lower cost area. Hired out as an intern, or without a degree and then never got a substantial raise. They could have been hired out with the promise of a future raise or training and it never happened. They could have been a founder at a startup or worked at a small company with or without equity that never panned out. They could work for a non profit, or just a company they really love for way below market rate. They could have accepted the first offer they got without really understanding the market. They might just be poor at negotiating salary. There are a ton of different reasons why someone is making below market rate that has no impact on their job performance.

Responses like this are exactly the reason you should not tell your current salary to a recruiter or potential employer.

Have a realistic goal for what it would take to leave your current job when talking to a recruiter. For some people that will be less than they are making now. The recruiter should only submit you to positions in your salary range. When negotiating with a potential employer salary and benefits should be discussed after both sides know it is a good fit and let them say the first number.

Thank you, you said it much better than I would have.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2015 06:42

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Another day, another all staff meeting with the CEO where he tells us that poo poo is hosed up in the oil business, and even more people have to be let go. I think we have had like 5 or 6 of them so far, but I'm still here. Until I'm not I guess.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2015 13:31

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

psydude posted:

Or they'll figure out that you only respond to urgent tickets and start gaming the system.

Urgent tickets get resolved last. The trick to get your ticket done immediately is to mark it as low importance.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2015 14:25

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Got the message yesterday that 2 out of the 4 positions in our support group has to be cut. The group consist of our manager who I take it for granted will not be cut, me and two coworkers. So the three of us now have to compete for one position, where we have to explain why we are the right person for the remaining job, and try indirectly to explain why the other two are the wrong person. So suddenly I find myself in a loving episode of The Apprentice, where "You're Fired" is a real thing if you gently caress up in the boardroom!

I have already lawyered up.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2015 08:27

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

The reason I got a lawyer is that it's better to have one and not need one than the opposite, especially when the three-way deathmatch trial scenario described above isn't far from how I picture what will happen. CV polishing and job hunting is already under way. I have also offered to HR to voluntarily leave so that everything is easier for everyone else involved with the process, of course in exchange for reasonable compensation. As things are now I will get laid off with absolutely nothing to show for it, so there is nothing I can do that will make things worse in any way. Anything and everything I get that is more than zero will be a victory.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 07:59

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Fanatical service: My supervisor delivered substandard customer service to one of our clients. I pulled him out behind a dumpster and went to town on him with a baseball bat. He will never disappoint any of our customers again.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 13:23

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Oh God

I am about to apply for a job

As a printer administrator

At a hospital

gently caress me

# ¿ Feb 5, 2016 08:54

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

beepsandboops posted:

Bad server locations: an auditor once told me that the worst he'd ever seen was a rack, surrounded by chicken wire and topped with an umbrella, on a guy's porch.

I think it was Intel that did an experiment comparing environmental hardware failures on servers in a climate controlled data center to a bunch of servers just standing outside in a parking lot. There wasn't much difference.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2016 09:52

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Tab8715 posted:

Developers don't know anything.

Same goes for engineers. I can install Inventor and Autocad on a powerhouse Precision workstation with dual xenons and quadros and 27" monitors, or I can give them a Latitude D630 from 2007. They will have literally no clue that there even is a difference as long as they can draw their little nuts and bolts. Change Autocad from 2008 to 2016? They won't even notice it has happened.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2016 09:58

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

The oil industry here tanked and is pulling everything down with it. The job search is infuriating. I got my notice in November, but still have work until the end of April. The public jobs I've applied for had 62, 67 and 105 applications. The closest I've gotten to an actual job is a staffing agency wanting to put me in 1st line ISP support for literally less than what unemployment would pay me.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2016 10:28

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

loving recruiters. He tried again to put me in the ISP support position, saying that they often recruit from within and good things can come from that.

-It pays less than unemployment before I've even counted in the drive to work including road tolls and lunch money. That's 4-500 per month, almost $3000 over 6 months. If I don't get a higher paid permanent position after those 6 months, what do I have to show for for the $3000 I paid?
-I have worked in higher levels for ISPs before, with the CV and references to back it up. If they have positions in higher levels open that they could recruit me to, they don't need me to do 6 months of slave labor first.
-If I take the job, I will be the guy they can point to and say "That idiot will take any job at all without any promises of future advancement, we don't need to focus on placing him in a good position. Look at how funny he looks, struggling and waving his arms and legs when we move him back to start again for the fourth time."
-I can be willing take the ISP job if the company is willing to put on paper a commitment to what happens to me after the 6 months are up. The company is not willing to do that.
-No, I will not divulge my salary. You know what the market pays. I know that the market is rough for my skills right now. That's why companies that actually want me are going to make me an offer if they want me to work for them, and we will talk about it and come to an agreement. I'm not going to lock myself out by going too high or hurt my career by going too low.

Also, gently caress you recruiter calling from London asking me to move from Norway to Sweden. I'm not going to move to work helpdesk for $35k with no relocation or severance in a country whose job market is like a Hunger Games movie!

# ¿ Mar 8, 2016 15:15

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I've applied for a job as a printer salesman. I'm coming after each and every one of you.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2016 15:07

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Sirotan posted:

raise:

Congrats, that's quite a bunch of cash!

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 14:07

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Crosspostin' from another thread.

I applied for a job last week, had to fill in my CV online in the recruiters lovely online solution - after uploading my CV in PDF. Did online aptitude tests and wrote case summaries. THEN I get the email that this isn't for an actual job, but for something they hope might open up in the future, and can I come in for a talk?

When I come in, the recruiter doesn't come out to greet me, I have to go knock on his office door. He talks about how we talked on the phone, which we didn't. He hasn't read my CV at all, and says "So, now you're at <job I left 10 years ago>". He conducts the interview like he's talking to an 18 year old looking for their first job, and not someone with 10 years experience.

I let him know what kind of impression he had made, and said we were done.

Recruiters are scum. If you find ones that take good care of you, take good care of them too.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2016 07:01

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

mayodreams posted:

I am vehemently against 'homework' for senior level positions for this very reason. Why the gently caress should I do all this extra work for a chance to interview with some company?

Our company only gives assessment tests to candidates who we like, but we think are borderline on skill set based on a technical screen / interview. One of our internal recruiters told us that a couple of years ago, when the assessments were standard, they had someone come in and get 100%, and then rejected us because it is absurd that he should have to take a test to prove he could do the job.

Ahahahaha, if it only had been something senior level! It was for supposed first line ISP and power company support, where they might need people fast. It had tasks like "What's the cost of $100,000 after a 10% discount" and "Do you end the call with "gently caress off" or "thank you for calling"". Since the rear end in a top hat I talked to didn't read my CV with 10 years of support experience on it, I'm not surprised at all I was asked to do them. It would also literally pay less than my unemployment benefits.

I went to a TV station to interview for customer support for their streaming solution today. Unfortunately it looked like a really nice place with competent people, so no potential for stories of Larches' caliber. It wouldn't be full time and the pay is probably poo poo, but it beats sitting at home scratching my balls.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2016 11:44

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

It's just customer support for a TV stations streaming service, and not even full time. That's what you get for being an overpaid computer janitor for 6 years, getting complacent, not developing your skills and then getting kicked out into a crashed job market.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2016 07:25

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Got a four month consultancy at government research office, which gets me out of unemployment for a while. I have to work all summer, but I do have a balcony outside my office with a view of these guys:

Also, 7 hour days, because government and summer. My contract said 8 hours, so the agency that put me here is working on ironing out the details there, but I shouldn't lose any money.

# ¿ Jun 17, 2016 11:37

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 07:36

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

stubblyhead posted:

Jesus Christ guys, just go home and talk to your wives or something.

Wives can wait, storage and networking can not.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 07:15

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