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Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
e9jxyo8

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I watched a man die. Well, that's not quite correct, to be exact I watched a man get tortured to death by two other guys. We'd strapped him to a chair with duct tape. It was quite cold, this being october, and he was shivering, quite possibly more from the fact that my two friends were methodically cutting off his fingers with these big sidecutters.

There was quite a lot of screaming too, but as we had previously duct-taped his mouth it didn't bother us too much. We were of course in the middle of loving nowhere in an empty warehouse, so there's that too. We were doing all this because this unfortunate little dead man had hit our mutual friend to the back of the head with an iron pipe after he'd picked a fight with him and his friends for fun.

It's surprising how little blood there was after we cauterized each stump with a hot poker. This happened over a period of a few days mind you. We kept him alive with this saline sugar liquid put into his left arm. After finishing off his fingers, we did the same to his toes. It was at this point that our mutual friend came over so the man could apologize to him. Our mutual friend asked him "how you doing", and the man's response was "not so good", which was awfully funny.

We castrated him later, and did a number on his face. You know, dig out his eyes, cut off his ears and tongue and finally flay off his face. His skull looked very funny, but unfortunately he was almost dead after enduring a week of this treatment. All throughout he kept trying to ask us what we wanted, which was also awfully funny.

After he had finally died from blood loss and mental trauma, we dissolved his body in acid. I forget what acid it was, probably just HCl. Nothing of him remained after this. We poured the barrel of acid into a nearby river.

I think the police knew we were responsible for this mans gaseous disappearing act, but of course nobody had any evidence, so that was that. Our mutual friend was well pleased but slightly creeped off.

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Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
r2jt5k

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I went out one night with my wife and my friend's wife while she was living a few states away from him. We'd decided to hit a gay bar first since they have the best music and the fewest creepy dudes hitting on the ladies. My wife and my buddy's wife had pretended to feel each other up a few times while there, and it was fun/funny. When we decided it was time to leave, they randomly got into my back seat and told me to chauffeur them somewhere. So I told them we were going to a strip club. They both thought that sounded great.

Had a pretty good time there. Nice night out. The end.

Oh except when we left the strip club I got into the back seat with them and hosed my friend's wife without a condom while she ate my wife. Sorry dude. We all got tested though before you saw her again. So no harm done!

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
ddvc25x

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I started using viagra occasionally for when I would pick up leftovers from nightclubs at 4am and was too drunk to get it up and then just kept using it. Now I've been in a committed relationship for six months and haven't had sex once without viagra because I'm afraid I'll disappoint without it. My fiance doesn't know that I use it.

timp
Sep 19, 2007

Everything is in my control
Lipstick Apathy

:stare:

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
djf5x1o

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I'm employed part time by a major American sports team. All employees get two comp tickets to each game. I asked an ex-girlfriend, who's also a part time employee, if I could borrow her tickets for one particular game. I needed 4 of them to use as a wedding gift, which I had promised months in advance to the bride, her fiance, her sister, and her mom. My ex said it was fine and we told the administrator about it so they could make sure all 4 of our seats were next to each other since they're randomly assigned for each game.

About 2 weeks before the game, my ex got temporarily suspended for a minor infraction which means she couldn't attend the game. A week before the game at one of our meetings the administrator gave me an envelope with all 4 tickets, hers and mine (my ex wasn't at this meeting due to her suspension). That night I got a text from my ex apologizing to me because she didn't get her comp tickets and said I'd have to try to borrow somebody else's tickets.

What she didn't know, however: When you're suspended you still get your 2 comp tickets. Most people, when and if they get suspended, opt to use their comp tickets for themselves so they can still attend the game. But in reality the administrator had just given her tickets directly to me because we'd asked her previously to make sure they're all together. Instead of telling my ex what had happened, because I was afraid she'd want her tickets back, I pretended I didn't get them. Or, to be more precise, I just didn't respond to her text.

That was stupid because somehow she found out a few days later what had happened and threatened to get the tickets reprinted which would leave me quite hosed. I then proceeded to lie my rear end off and somehow, SOMEHOW convinced her the whole thing was a mistake and a misunderstanding instead of me just being a poo poo.

tl;dr I tried to steal two 70$ tickets from my ex-girlfriend, got caught, lied about it, and got them for free anyways.


No one wants to go to a Redskins game anyway

Kurnugia
Sep 2, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo

Well ok then!

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
cwf3l24

Anonymous Confessor posted:

When I was deployed in Afghanistan, I participated in the gang rape of a civilian woman ("woman" is used loosely. She looked 16).

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
d7qu3bs

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I run one of the largest tumblr pages dedicated to the 'sissy' fetish. Basically men that want to be transformed into women, want to be used as sex objects, to be degraded, etc.

I can't really explain it well so if you want a better understanding you can click on this *****VERY NSFW****** link: :nws:http://pinksatingloss.tumblr.com/archive :nws: (This isn't my page but it has similar content)

People send me pictures of themselves dressed in lingerie, using buttplugs, etc. and a few have thanked me for 'opening their eyes' to who they really are.

Personally, I did have this fetish once, but it was during a porn addiction phase which I have since recovered from. I'm pretty firmly straight/cisgendered but I still maintain the blog because it's a fun secret alterego to have and because it has a real impact on the lives of strangers around the world.

midnightclimax
Dec 3, 2011

by XyloJW
Stuff like this is why I visit /b/ once in a full moon.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
23jho00h

Anonymous Confessor posted:

Basically I have a sadistic impulse for torturing and seeing monkeys suffer. I am not a violent person, I love animals and would never hurt anyone. But goddam do I love to see monkeys scream and cry in fear and pain. I watched a video of a little baby snow monkey run around trying to hug one of its pack mates and every one slapped it away or kicked it and watching the little thing cry in pain and suffering, not understanding why riles something dark up in me. Same thing watching three abandoned oruangutang babies clutch at each other in terror as little macaques harassed them. I fantasize when I visit the zoo about taking the little ones and just grabbing them in my hand and shaking them until scream, or steal ones baby and dance around with it behind the glass while the mother freaks out and screams. I guess I'm a sadist but with just this only. I would never harm a baby or one of my cats or any other animal, but loving monkeys man. The little chittery screams and wife eyes put me in a dark place. Anyway my confession is that I sucker punched an autistic kid when I was 8 because he wouldn't stop screaming in my face. gently caress that guy.

Desperado Bones
Aug 29, 2009

Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!


:stare: Reading this is making me feel like a sane, healthy, good person.

Necrocult
Oct 18, 2010

Form Fitting

Desperado Bones posted:

:stare: Reading this is making me feel like a sane, healthy, good person.

Dr. Quarex
Apr 18, 2003

I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA
Mods please change every poster's name to MONKEY-WROUGHT DARK PLACE

Over There
Jun 28, 2013

by Azathoth



:wtc:

himajinga
Mar 19, 2003

Und wenn du lange in einen Schuh blickst, blickt der Schuh auch in dich hinein.
This isn't really what I had in mind guys but I guess that ship has sailed :ohdear:

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
dvjuoq5

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I write and draw fluffy torture media for pay. I'm not a brony or like mlp but the money is good. Don't google it if you want to have a clean soul. I bet the people who commission my work are just like monkey guy.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
op9r7y

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I only wash my hands after going to the toilet if someone I know is watching or can hear me. My dick is much cleaner than a faucet touched by hundreds of dick touching hands.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
danuhgs

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I'm a straight male, early twenties if that matters. Once not to long ago a female friend had left a shopping bag at mine, curious one night I look inside and noticed it was from one night she was out on the town: a dress, pantyhose, bra + panties. So basically I just dressed up in these cloths, it felt kinda good sitting like this. Made me feel nicely aroused so I pleasured my prostate with a toy. Felt good man.

:gay:

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
dmp4fux

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I was permabanned and now I keep a low profile with my parachute account.

What a loving rebel

you irl
Jan 22, 2014

there was an entire thread of people proudly proclaiming that they don't wash their hands after pissing, this guy is just a pussy

midnightclimax
Dec 3, 2011

by XyloJW

you irl posted:

there was an entire thread of people proudly proclaiming that they don't wash their hands after pissing, this guy is just a pussy

Yeah "rear end-leak guy" comes to mind, there's been worse without anonymity.

Dr. Quarex
Apr 18, 2003

I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA
Plus you know that dude is just a lazy rear end in a top hat who would still not wash his hands at home/with a fully automated touch-free faucet/soap/dryer system.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post

Quarex posted:

Plus you know that dude is just a lazy rear end in a top hat who would still not wash his hands at home/with a fully automated touch-free faucet/soap/dryer system.

Having a lazy rear end in a top hat may be a very good reason to wash your hands after

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
d54njc9

Anonymous Confessor posted:

Once many years ago I posted on GBS about this girl in a wheelchair that I met in college. She was asian and cute and being in a wheelchair brought out these protective instincts in me. My thread about her blew up and was really popular and it made me super uncomfortable having goons always asking about her in that thread and completely un-related threads. So I lied and said we weren't together anymore.

That wasn't true though, and we actually almost got married. After a few years of dating, we were in bed together and she was sleeping and I was really turned on. Our sex life was pretty non-existent because she didn't have any feeling in her vagina, so we only had sex rarely, most often it was her giving me a blowjob. But this had all petered out over the last few months.

So I was feeling really turned on and I had always wanted to have anal sex, so this one night I couldn't stop myself. I lubed up my penis and slow put it into her butt. She couldn't feel it so she didn't wake up, and it turned me on more than anything to feel like I was doing something forbidden without her knowledge. I came almost instantly in her butt.

Over the next two weeks I proceeded to gently caress her butt every night after she was asleep, becoming more and more rough as she continued to not wake up. But then something unimaginable happened. She started complaining about having anal incontinence. She went to the doctor and the doctor didn't know what had changed, and said she'd probably just have to wear diapers.

I was too scared to tell her the truth, and so ashamed that I ended up breaking up with her. She probably thinks it was because she had to start wearing diapers, but I know the real reason.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
d7v4iot

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I've had sex with a sister and two cousins. I have a half sister that lives over seas that I only knew existed because my mother told me of her on my dad's side. One day she finally found me on Facebook. Long story short she comes to the states to meet me and after the first night of sleeping in the same bed in my one bedroom apartment the tension becomes too much for us. During her trip I took her out of state to see our estranged father who left her and her mom when she was 4 to move here. While visiting with him we met with our cousin who I also had a mutual attraction to. So I basically arranged it so that my cousin and I shared her bed while my sister slept on the floor in another room. That's right double incest in the same week. The other cousin was from an unrelated visit and is from my mother's side of the family. I took a 10 hour drive alone with no one but us knowing with the express purpose of us just hooking up.

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames
Awesome thread OP! A lot of these posts are a lot like Letters to Penthouse, so we really have some cool people that have sex a lot on this forum, which helps our iCred.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

wow this is getting pretty hosed up.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
d408pgc

Anonymous Confessor posted:

sometimes my cat pukes and I pretend not to notice it so that my girlfriend will have to clean it up. also, i kind of really want to mod GBS for a little while, i think it would be fun.

insulated staircase
Aug 21, 2014

goons are the stuff of nightmares

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW
wheelchair girl no

fuccboi
Jan 5, 2004

by zen death robot

Stoic Commie posted:

wheelchair girl no

Still think Buttsex is a victimless crime? Think again. Open a Bible.

Spookydonut
Sep 13, 2010

"Hello alien thoughtbeasts! We murder children!"
~our children?~
"Not recently, no!"
~we cool bro~

I did this but then the cat came back hours later and started eating it. My GF was 5 meters away and I just silently watched it eat its puke of undigested dry biscuits hoping she wouldn't notice and freak out.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
So what you going to do when someone posts some real illegal poo poo OP?

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
Post it here for everyone to be disgusted by

West SAAB Story
Mar 13, 2014

by Athanatos

(and can't post for 250 days!)

Just like old GBS, it is all about the poops.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
e301tqp

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I'm Aaron Nadler. After my main account got banned, I created another anonymous account and have become a prominent GBS and BYOB poster. I thought about trying to tell my side of the story someday, but for now it feels good to go around unnoticed knowing other goons are quoting me and enjoying my posts yet have no idea.

I don't know who the gently caress that is, but ok.

WaffleLove
Aug 16, 2007
Does it have to be anonymous?

I once made fun of someone being molested out of anger, while arguing with them lowest point in my life.

Rohan Kishibe
Oct 29, 2011

Frankly, I don't like you
and I never have.
Aaron Trek. Aatrek

midnightclimax
Dec 3, 2011

by XyloJW
Come on we want to hear your side of the story.

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Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
e30e94k

Anonymous Confessor posted:

I am dating/loving my GF and her 20yo daughter, and have been for some years. It's not even really a confession, most the people around us know and don't think too much of it. I couldn't begin to explain why no one bats an eye at this, 90% of the people who know are "oh ok cool." It's loving weird. Course nearly everyone who meets this girl wants to bang her which might have something to do with it.

If you ask my GF why she allows this, "you can't get her pregnant (vasectomy), you're not going to give her STDs, and you're not going to try to marry her. Better you than whatever young moron she might end up with." I get the logic I have yet to get how she does it emotionally.

Ive managed to balance this all out without any real issues between the two of them. GF has had a few moments that had more to do with the fact that she's older & fatter than OMG MY KID that are long past. No, no 3somes. They generally least want a wall between them if anything is actually going on. Kid goes off and dates on her own, generally I get put on hold when that happens. Eventually she'll ditch my rear end I'm sure but in the meanwhile :sun:

I only don't say it on the forums cause I figured I'd get banned for being a creep. Rightfully lol

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