AlphaKretin posted:

I'm disappointed; I can't find the NT News saying anything amusing about the recent spill motion. Five PMs in five years and the greatest newspaper has nothing snide to say? Come on, guys.

Geokinesis posted:

Kilo147 posted:

After he mangled the forums code, I wouldn't let him anywhere near my junk

quote:

An Italian drug gang needed money, so it devised a bizarre plot, Italian police said — it would dig up the body of legendary automaker Enzo Ferrari and hold it for ransom.

In a massive raid involving hundreds of officers, 34 people were arrested Tuesday in Sardinia and northern Italy just as the gang was about to launch its scheme, 1½ years in the making, at the tomb shared by Ferrari and his father in Modena, in central Italy, police said at a news conference.

Slime posted:

...30 minutes after biting him? Then it wasn't the guy that caused it. Food poisoning takes a like 1-3 days.

chitoryu12 posted:

I thought it occurred within a few hours of eating, when your body begins digesting it. Food for humans takes roughly a day to pass through the body and be excreted. What's it like for komodo dragons?

flosofl posted:

Yeah, for people it's within hours. I've had food poisoning before and I went from feeling great right after a meal, to projectile vomiting and in the ER about 2 and half hours later.

I would imagine that for animals it's much the same.

jojoinnit posted:

Suddenly everyone's an expert on komodo dragon digestive systems?

Fathis Munk posted:

Man, now that's an untapped industry, instead of boring euthanasia just offer some kick rear end death rocket rides.

"Go out with a bang!"

Solice Kirsk posted:

I would play a Mortal Kombat/NBA Jam hybrid game sooooo much.

Marcade posted:

Nah, Scorpion would be way too OP.

quote:

The Bradenton Herald reports that employees at a Goodwill store near Tampa reported the weapon on Sunday.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office says the store manager told deputies that the grenade launcher had come in a shipment from another store several days earlier. The employees at the other location said they sent it along because they didn't know what it was.

Solice Kirsk posted:

If I ever lose a leg I'm replacing it with a pogo stick. Do you have any idea how much travel time I'll save if every other step is a hop?!

quote:

An Indian pop star, Daler Mehndi, has been sentenced to two years in prison for smuggling migrants abroad.

Mehndi and six others were accused in 2003 of cheating people of large sums of money by falsely promising to take them to Western countries.

The singer was convicted on Friday in the northern state of Punjab. But he was released on bail soon after.

Mehndi is one of the most popular Punjabi singers of the 1990s and early 2000s, and also has a following abroad.

...

In 1998 and 1999, he had allegedly taken at least 10 migrants, disguised as dancers in his ensemble, to the United States and returned without them.

After police in Punjab registered a case against him, about 35 people reportedly accused him of fraud. They said he had taken money from them for taking them abroad but had failed to do so.

Mehndi said he will appeal the conviction in a higher court.

quote:

On his return, he found about 40 seagulls - "an entire flock" - in his room. They had been eating the pepperoni, which "does NASTY things to a seagull's digestive system".

The startled birds "immediately started flying around and crashing into things as they desperately tried to leave the room through the small opening by which they had entered," Mr Burchill said.

"The result was a tornado of seagull excrement, feathers, pepperoni chunks and fairly large birds whipping around the room. The lamps were falling. The curtains were trashed."

doverhog posted:

A dog could be CEO, just have the COO do the all the work, and occasionally go pet the dog for strategy advice.

quote:

The Boston Police Department has gone for long stretches without even issuing one. Talk to any resident who’s done even a small amount of walking in the city, and they’ll tell you the same thing: They’ve never gotten one, nor do they know anyone who has. Some locals insist, not without reason, that they don’t actually exist at all.

In Boston, the jaywalking ticket — which comes with a mammoth fine of $1 — has proven so elusive that it borders on myth.

So in the wake of recent pedestrian-related news — including a protest sparked by Mayor Martin J. Walsh’s comments about pedestrian and cyclist responsibility — I spent a day jaywalking my way through Boston, in an attempt to find out what, exactly, it took to get cited for the offense.

And one thing was for sure: I wasn’t leaving without a ticket.

ultrafilter posted:

Crime author who killed people and used own murders to write novels sentenced to death

quote:

NH1 interviewed the recipient of the fine, Nate Rancloes, who said that if he had intentionally hurt the seagull in front of so many witnesses he might be the "dumbest criminal ever."

He said that he was out with his daughter and while he was sitting in the sand, the bird stole his food.

He spun around to usher it away and in doing so he admits he did strike a seagull, which was said to be a second bird to the one which took his meal.

The man, described as a decorated veteran who received the purple heart, an honor for those wounded or killed in service, described this as "bad luck" and a mistake.

He said he left the beach as people started shouting at him.

The injured seagull was picked up and taken to a lifeguard by a woman.

She was told to put it down before it then bit her and a child.

rodbeard posted:

Trump doesn't drink because his brother was an alcoholic. It's his only shred of humanity.

Splicer posted:

I'm not political but I don't drink and if I'm at a function I'll often end up with a wine glass of something soft to avoid messing up the photos.

Platystemon posted:

Capitalism: do both.

Phlegmish posted:

I'll probably get laughed at for not being in the know but why are they microwaving their piss

quote:

Warming urine from someone who hasn't taken drugs is seen by some as a way to help pass a drug test.