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cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



I'm in.

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cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



newtestleper posted:

ALSO: I will linecrit at least one newbies story this week.

I would like this.

cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



crabrock posted:

you know you actually have to submit a story to get a crit....

http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/?author=cargohills

i'm watching you.

You'll be watching a fully written story (by me) by Sunday crabrock my good friend

cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



A Day in the Forest
631 words

Landon was a wizard. The only one he knew of. He relished that fact - it made him feel important. He was, however, also the only human he knew. He still knew that his wizarding nature was special. Despite a lack of human companions, Landon was not lacking in friends. He had the animals of the forest to keep him company. They couldn’t speak to him in words, but in his heart Landon felt that they and he were linked. They were all friends. Landon’s best friend was Rabbit. Rabbit lived with Landon in his cabin, and was always with him. When Landon spoke to Rabbit, Landon felt like he knew what the animal would say back.

***

One day in spring, when looking for newly-bloomed flowers, they came across something that Landon had never seen in the forest before: a small pristine silver locket, free of engravings or other decoration.

“How did this get here?” Landon asked. “We’ve been here before and we didn’t see it then, did we?”

Rabbit shook his head.

“And it’s completely shiny and clean! Somebody must have left it here recently.”

Rabbit nodded in approval. Then, his eyes looked to the ground towards the locket, suggesting that Landon should pick it up and open it. Landon agreed with this suggestion, and held his hand out in the direction of the locket. It slowly lifted from the ground and moved towards his outstretched fingers, swaying softly like a feather falling in the wrong direction.

Opening the locket revealed a small piece of paper, folded in order to fit inside the locket. Landon, despite having never learned to read, was able to understand what it said.

“Hello. I know of your magical arts, wizard. I will meet you in your home, and you shall face justice.”

Landon looked at Rabbit, failing to hide his worried expression from his friend. “We must go back home now,” Landon said.

***

From the outside, it was clear that Landon and Rabbit’s cabin had been ransacked. The door was kicked off of its hinges, the windows were smashed and the gentle roar of the fireplace could no longer be heard when close to the entrance. Landon knew that whoever it was that did this was strong and mad. Not someone he could talk to. Not like the animals. Not like Rabbit. So he decided to conjure up fire. He wasn’t worried about damaging the cabin any further - he could fix it in less than a week with his magic - but he wanted to scare his unknown attacker.

The plan worked, and Landon heard terrified yelling from the furthest corner of the house. The yelling grew louder as the attacker ran towards Landon and out of the house, his cloak burning bright with flame. He stopped as soon as he saw Landon. Luckily for the man, Landon doused the fire with a flick of his fingers.

“Hah! The wizard of the forest is a child?” said the attacker, oddly confident in spite of the fact that he had just been on fire. “I am the wizard hunter! I have vanquished hundreds of your kind, and you shall be no different.”

Landon was shaking in fear, but Rabbit seemed to be unaffected by the hunter’s boasts. This strengthened Landon. He knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes, and held his hands out towards the hunter. Before the man could react, even in confusion, Landon’s arms jerked upwards… and so did the hunter. The man flew into the air, and shortly later a crunch of bone could be heard.

Landon let a tear roll down his cheek. He didn’t like hurting people, but he had to. The animals would deal with what was left of the hunter now.

cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



Sounds good. Any other newbies want to swap crits?

cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



Jay O posted:

Well, dandy! In light of this, I'll extend it to three line-by-lines and seven concise-yet-efforted-crits. If I don't get that many by Wednesday night (a distinct possibility), I'll pick out entries at random to fill the difference. Sounds like fun!

Can I have a line-by-line crit? Thanks.

Additionally, I'm gonna see if I can do 10 crits of fellow newbies or people with losertars.

cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



This sounds like a good week to lose, I'm in. Flash rule too, please.

cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



Sitting Here posted:

You are invited to participate in a special failures-only brawl. The brawl will only go forward if at least four (4) of you indicate that you are in. You must announce your intention to participate by 11:59:59 PM PST tonight (so about 22 hours from this post).

Your prompt is to tell me a story from the perspective of the villain's pet monster. The word count is 600 words. The due date, if any of you should rise to the challenge, will be 11:59:59 PM PST on Wednesday, May 27th. The winner will get a brawl victory, a line crit, and the knowledge that they aren't as much of an abject failure as the rest.

Sounds like a deal.

cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



It turns out that it is me who is the greatest failure of all failbrawl contestants (so far). I’m out. The 150 words I’ve managed to write don’t even begin to resemble a coherent story: they're more like a series of disconnected excerpts from the same scene that haven’t been slotted into the right place. The next time I enter in the Thunderdome will have to be another toxx, and won’t be until I’m confident that I’m able to finish writing a story by a deadline.

I should probably go stick my hands in a tub of acid filled with piranhas or something now.

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cargohills
Apr 17, 2014



In with a :toxx: for being a lovely failure last time (and also most of the times before that)

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

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